astrowynter [2019-01-26 18:31:59 +0000 UTC]

happy birthday dude!!! hope you have a fantastic day and all the birthday wishes!
 

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KaidokJ [2018-11-09 11:10:27 +0000 UTC]

Sorry about the late reply. Been trying to clear the backlog...

Thanks for the fav on Inktober 31: Slice - Goober, Gunderson Goober

No funny story for this one. I just wanted to take a moment to thank everyone for their support during Inktober, and for joining me on this bizarre adventure with Sir Goober. What started out as an overly ambitious direction for an inking challenge turned into quite an interesting ride. And surprisingly, it’s been a lot of fun.

I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. But, if you missed it, don’t worry, the whole series is here. Hopefully it will be enough to hold you over till next year when the intrepid knight is sure to return. Maybe.

#Inktober2018Completed

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RedGeOrb [2018-11-07 16:28:21 +0000 UTC]

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KaidokJ [2018-11-05 07:20:18 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for the fav on Inktober 29: Double - Old-school Uber driver

I don’t really understand the whole Uber thing. Which is strange, because I’ve been getting into strangers cars for as long as I can remember. Nothing criminal, you understand, I’d just hop into the backseat of cars waiting at the corner or at the lights, you know, to say hello. And once the yelling and screaming stops, more often than not, you get the opportunity to have a frank and open discussion about the merits of ownership and personal space. So I totally understand that part. What I want to know is why anyone would ever want to pay for that kind of an experience?

-HarmlessCarInvader

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KaidokJ [2018-11-04 11:59:33 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for the fav on Inktober 27: Thunder - Any thunder-box in a storm

Using a thunderbox is a risky thing in the land down under. A rusty tin shed exposed to the elements, the Australian outhouse was home to a whole number of fun creepy crawlies. I’m sure some of you might have heard of the term “red back on the seat”, well, it’s actually a thing. Thankfully, modern plumbing has significantly reduced one’s risk when squatting on the throne, but even then, it’s not without its perils. An example. Up in Northern Western Australia, there is a large sand goanna sometimes called a bungarra. It’s dangerous, but not deadly, for the most part. Anyway, I know someone who used to live up there and one day they went to use the loo (bathroom) without turning the light on. Only just barely sensing that their butt was imperilled, they turned the light on and inside the bowl was the large head of a bungarra, watching them. Apparently these enterprising lizards climb up sewerage pipes looking for clean water and get stuck. It’s quite an ordeal to get them out, but nothing compared with the shock of finding one in the first place. Anyway, just thought I’d share that. Although it’s probably best if you try to forget it the next time you really need to go number two. Might make things harder for you.

-ParanoidPooper

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KaidokJ [2018-11-04 09:03:03 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for the fav on Inktober 28: Gift - Unofficial Goober/Kevin X-Over

Sometimes I really wonder what it was that I did to ever get saddled with such an attention hungry creature like Kevin. I mean sure, there are plenty of reasons why it was bound to happen, but it would be nice to know which one specifically I’m being punished for. It’s not enough that he has his own series, promotional material and there’s talk of an upcoming comic adaptation for his life story but now he feels compelled to just randomly drop into another character’s storyline, all because it seems to be garnering a little bit of attention. And what’s worse, he has the nerve to blame me for the whole thing. Take it from me, if you’re ever asked to housesit for your sister’s Aunt Tilly’s hairdresser’s dog groomer, then just make sure not to open the door to any seemingly harmless looking alpaca salesmen named Kevin. He lies.

#StillWaitingForMyAlpaca

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KaidokJ [2018-10-28 01:38:21 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for the fav on Inktober 24: Chop - Quick drop, wet plop...

I kind of feel sorry for Eddie the Executioner. He’s a decent fellow. He pays his taxes on time, calls his mother every week, and he wouldn’t hurt a fly. Unless that fly had been sentenced to a public execution for various criminal activities, like murder, or public indecency. So tell me why Eddie should have to suffer from the historically poor workplace morale typically found in his chosen profession. Can you really blame him for trying to bring a little cheer to his clients? Some people have called it ghoulish or a little creepy, but with a charismatic smile like that, it almost makes the experience of having your head violently severed from your body seem bearable. I know it made me feel better.

#GallowsLevity

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KaidokJ [2018-10-27 06:56:37 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for the fav on Inktober 23: Muddy - Let's Wrastle!

I don’t like to brag but a few years back, I actually spent some time in a mud puddle. You know, just standing there, ankle deep, in dirty, brackish, water, soaking up the vibe, and my socks. I didn’t learn anything from the experience, nor did I stumble upon any grand breaking epiphany. I just stood there, as the brownish soup filled my shoes. It was a little chilly, but not too bad. It wasn’t a particularly pleasant or unpleasant situation to be in, and while I wouldn’t exactly recommend it, I wouldn’t try to dissuade you from trying it. Overall, if you forced me to rate my experience of standing in a muddy puddle, I’d say 2.5 stars out of 5. So adjust your expectations accordingly.

#MuddyMindfulness    

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KaidokJ [2018-10-24 06:25:14 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for the fav on Inktober 19: Scorched - I'll just be a minute...

It goes without saying that touching an orcish laundress’ iron is a sure fire way to land yourself in a shiny black pot of trouble. But it’s the dwarven confederation of delicatessen owners that you really need to be careful of. Don’t let their reduced stature and boisterous good nature deceive you, these deli demons don’t mess around. Back out on a big order, bad mouth the store’s premier selection of salted animal carcasses or even cut the line and that’s it, you’re done for. Now, I know what you’re thinking. What’s the worst that could happen? To this I say, cheese platter. Sorry, I meant cheese splatter. If you cross a dwarven deli owner, you win yourself a lifetime supply of cheap, low grade, barely edible, mouldy cheddar cheese. The thing is, it’s delivered as a lump sum, by airmail, directly on top of your house. And with dairy based ballistic targeting being what it is, chances are your neighbours are going suffer right alongside you. So if you don’t want their deaths on your conscious when an avalanche of cheese jettisons you into the great hereafter, don’t tick off the deli people.

#AerialCheeseAssault     

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KaidokJ [2018-10-24 04:42:57 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for the llama 

I knew a llama once. At least I thought I knew him. I mean, how well can anyone really know anyone, much less a llama. With their air of mystery and thinly veiled contempt. It’s hard. But I digress.

His name was Kevin. But for reasons I will never understand, he would only ever answer to Albert. Identity issues aside, things started out okay. The usual introductory sniffing and sneezing went well, despite his allergies, but then things started going downhill during the ritual licking phase of the pleasantries. We pushed through. And had it not been for the spitting, we might have even been able to make it work, but alas, after just 3 seconds of bittersweet brotherhood, we finally decided to part ways. It’s kind of sad, when you think about it. Spitting seems like such an innocent thing to fight over, but he was pretty adamant that I should stop and that was just never going to happen. We might have overcome that issue, but Kevin, like all llamas, was very competitive. First came the stench competitions. Then it was belching contests. And lastly, a painstaking count to see which one was hairier. You can clearly see why our relationship was doomed. The poor fellow was a bit of a sore loser.

So he snuck out, taking with him a failed friendship, an obliviously optimistic dread of the future, and my sixth favorite toothbrush. Now that he is gone, I can honestly say, it's for the best. He was too much of a chick magnet anyway and who needs that drama? 

Full disclaimer, as Kevin’s official biographer, a position of which he blackmailed me into (don’t ask), I’ve been instructed to inform you about his ongoing series. The journey starts here with The Kevin Chronicles - Chapter 1 , and this gallery  contains the rest. You should check it out. 

*End of cue card*

And don't worry, they're pretty short.
No pressure though, only if you want.

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KaidokJ [2018-10-24 04:19:21 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for the fav on Inktober 21: Drain - What the duck?

I realize that finding a duck in your shower seems like an unusual event, but by this point in my life, a duck would be a welcome change of pace. I’d certainly take a duck over a punk band of disaffected teenage chimpanzees. It wasn’t so much that they were in my shower, as it was the angst and cynical screeching they called music, blaring at full blast as they burst in. Of course anti-social chimps still beat having a matchstick sized alien armada declare war on your soap dish, mid wash. If I hadn’t been able to broker a peace treaty that satisfied both sides, things might have really gotten out of hand. But none of that compares to the time I was peacefully washing my hair when another dude just pulls back the curtain and steps in with me. Now, I’ve got nothing against two men showering together, everyone’s got their own way of doing things, but I was not really in the sharing kind of mood. Turns out, neither was he. First there was screaming, then yelling, then some really awkward naked glaring. Long story short, it was his shower. In an exhausted haze I’d accidentally stumbled into the wrong house and had managed to completely ignore the fact that I my key didn’t work, or that the furniture was different, and proceeded to take off all my clothes and jump in the shower. I guess that last one’s on me then…oh well.

-ObliviousHomeInvader      

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KaidokJ [2018-10-24 04:08:10 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for the fav on Inktober 20: Breakable - By the power of Grayskull

I had the power of Grayskull once. It was nice. And really useful for opening tough jar lids or that time I had to help a friend move house. It also came in handy when a raging horde of interdimensional hell fiends decided to invade my apartment bathroom. I still have no idea what they were after, although I suspect my toilet sit cover was the likely target (it’s enviably soft and fluffy). Glen, from marketing, can’t keep his hungry eyes off it whenever I host the weekly game of corporate mandated snakes and ladders. Team building exercises are the worst, am I right? Anyway, if I had to put money on who sent those infernal imps, I’m going with Glen. Ralph, over in accounts, is giving me good odds so fingers crossed that I win the pool. As for the power of Grayskull, well, I kind of lost it to unsavoury individual in a game of high stakes, backroom SNAP! But I’m sure he’ll put it to good use.

#MyMoneysOnGlen    

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KaidokJ [2018-10-23 22:10:31 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for the fav on Inktober 14 - Clock a.k.a Totally Tick Tocked

I’ve been in a long running dispute with a random stranger over the viability of temporal homicide for quite some time now, and I felt it was necessary to set the record straight. To those unfamiliar with issue, I am of course referring to whether or not one can, in fact, kill a clock. Sure, it sounds like a pretty straight forward concept but some people can’t seem to get their head around it. This person even went so far as to demand proof that such a thing was possible, which is completely ridiculous. Where am I even supposed to find a suitable target for that kind of demonstration? Due to their notoriously laid back nature, finding a clock that might be deserving of murder is extremely difficult. Sure, I suppose I could just pick one up a Walmart but it seems particularly cold blooded to end the life of an innocent timepiece just to win an argument. I mean I’ll do it, but I’m gonna feel really bad about it afterwards. I just don’t know I want that kind of guilt on my conscious, if I really being honest about it.

…

Oh well, here it goes.

#ChronometricallyConflicted

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KaidokJ [2018-10-23 22:09:55 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for the fav on Inktober 17: Swollen - Begin the Bloodletting

This is something that not a lot of people know, but I have a pathological fear of my own blood. Sure, it’s not that uncommon, nobody really likes to see it, but my aversion goes a little further than the norm. So great is my fear that I periodically need to drain my entire supply every three days or I start to go into paralysing states of nonsensical rambling. It’s not so bad, although admittedly, the process is quite complicated, involving a lot of opaque tubing and plastic bottles, so as to not risk any chance of seeing red. The final precaution is to apply an airtight, full face blindfold, just in case there is some accidental spillage. I realize this is a lot of work just so that I can manage my fear of the bright sticky stuff, and it does involved long periods of unconsciousness, but I think the cost outweighs the benefits. The only real downside that I can see is that my boss is seriously considering firing me for taking so many sick days, which sucks. I really like working at the abattoir. I know right, it’s the funniest thing. I don’t mind the sight of blood, as long it isn’t my own. It’s quite relaxing, actually.

#AsLongAsItsNotMine     

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KaidokJ [2018-10-23 20:33:22 +0000 UTC]

Thank you for choosing AbsurdAir, your captain for this flight is KaidokJ . I have no license, I’m considered legally blind and I’m easily distrac… Wait, what was I talking about…

But not to fear. There’s a good chance we’ll never make our destination, but since this whole flight metaphor is just a weak attempt at a humorous anecdote, I don’t think that’s going to be a problem. Ah damn, I just shattered the illusion by crashing through the 4th wall.

Anyway, thanks for the watch.

I’m sure you regret your choice by now, considering this madness is basically what you signed up for, but since all tickets are non-refundable, welcome to Crazytown. Quarantine measures come into effect upon arrival.  

On a more serious note, here’s basically the run down. Posting regularly (fingers crossed), free funny stories in almost all fav replies, and an intro to Kevin the Llama in the Llama Badge reply. Also, if you haven’t already heard, I’ve been designated Kevin Llamason’s official biographer, so you can check out what he’s been up to in The Kevin Chronicles . (Unfortunately “The Kevin Chronicles” are currently on hiatus, while Kevin gets a handle on his pinecone addiction. In the meantime I hope to experiment with a new format in the near future, so keep an eye out for that)

So that’s about it. Thanks again for flying AbsurdAir, and I hope you enjoy the ride.  

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kaiju-anomaly [2018-02-21 21:08:27 +0000 UTC]

Hey man, keep up the fantastic work! 

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0rangeleaves [2018-02-08 21:18:51 +0000 UTC]

Flagged as Spam

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goremey [2018-01-26 19:13:17 +0000 UTC]

Happy birthday Dimi! I hope that you have a wonderful birthday!

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Fly-Sky-High [2018-01-26 14:34:09 +0000 UTC]

Happy Birthday, best wishes~!

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DubuGomdori [2018-01-19 00:26:55 +0000 UTC]

What?!

You don’t think my dawg is pretty?

Alright it’s clobber time!

Oh you faved us?

Then just a little punch for you instead!  (fruit punch)

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