OAOAKUTAMASHIIOAO In reply to ??? [2013-06-10 20:29:15 +0000 UTC]

No, you're not being dumb. It's natural for people who feel
uncomfortable about themselves. I still have times when I do.
When I look in the mirror, when I'm at more... proper places.
When people go swimming I usually just sit aside and listen
music and draw. But I think being down here I feel better
because MOST people are.. bigger... So I guess it helps my
self-esteem a little. But when I go back down I'll probably
feel the same way you do. I'll be back to wearing baggy
clothes instead of what I wear now... :c
We shouldn't feel like that though... We're not hideous ugly
creatures.... xD We're teens, this is the point in our lives
where we're lazy, we eat a lot, we gain the most weight WITHOUT
even eating a lot, and we wont change until we get a little
older. It's normal. And frankly, I don't care if I'm hideous,
because the ugliest kids are said to turn into the most
beautiful adults. So... I hope I'm in that category. >^>

I never noticed it, I always thought you walked normal. I never
even paid attention to your walk because it looked normal. So
does your running... o-o' I think you look fine. ovo
I don't see anything wrong with getting it fixed if that's what
you want.. But... if you get surgery on your ankles then you
might not be able to walk for awhile, so you should make sure
it's done before school so you don't get behind like Kyanne was
when she kept getting surgery on her legs and stuff... I think
you're fine without it... But... I'm not arguing if it's what you
want done. c:

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Amburum In reply to OAOAKUTAMASHIIOAO [2013-06-10 20:40:54 +0000 UTC]

That usually happens with hard work >-< Like being 'pretty' when you're older. Like my sister. She stopped eating all kinds of fast food completely, and became like... Educated in how to do make up take care of your skin and hair. I just... I don't want to. I always forget to wash my face if I'm trying to get on a cycle like that cause I just have too many other things I'd rather be doing, including sleeping >-< I usually remember by the time I'm laying down so by then I'm just like 'lol fak it.'
I've just been mainly upset lately, because I just don't understand why me. WHY did I have to be stuck with the frizzy ass hair that doesn't even look good on me. WHY did I have to be one of the kids who has NATURALLY bad acne. WHY did I have to be one of the people who has a slow immune system, but likes food more than they should. WHY did my anles have to be the way they are? WHY did I have to develop a hormonal inbalance? WHY the hell, can't I just BE. Fucking. Normal? Like why can't I be like Hannah? Skinny, pretty, only gets like one or two blemishes a month? Or like Taylor or never has a blemish and can eat all she wants and never gain a pound? Or even like Cheyenne and actually be MOTIVATED enough to actually want to TRY to lose? Just like... WHY did I have to be fucking me. Why couldn't I be someone ELSE who didn't have to put up with ALL of these flaws at the same fucking time? Like what the hell did I do, to deserve to have just everything absolutely wrong with me in society? Why should I have to work so hard to just barely please MYSELF where as other people can roll out of bed and be loved by everyone? I just don't get it. I don't want to do anything because I don't feel like I should HAVE too. But I DO have to, or else it won't go away.

If you actually pay attention to how I walk, you will. And I know. It's pretty much Summer already so I'm just in time XD

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OAOAKUTAMASHIIOAO In reply to Amburum [2013-06-10 20:51:46 +0000 UTC]

I work... a little. All I really do is wash my face and
work out. The only thing that's working is I'm clearing
up my face. My body hasn't gotten smaller at all... ;^;

I could.. help. :c I mean, I truly don't see anything
wrong with you. I've always wanted to look like you.
Cause you're actually really beautiful... But... like
most people. We can't see our own beauty. By help, I
mean if you're willing to accept it. We can set a
schedule so we can both lose weight and be the people
we want to be, and STILL be able to do everything we want
to do. Like, play video games, go on the computer, draw,
talk on the internet. All that stuff. And then the weekends
when we hang out with Carolyn would be considered our breaks.
BUT we'd still be doing everything we wanted to because
we'd be outside and having fun...
It's only if you'd actually want to... I want to lose weight
feel better about myself this summer... So.. I want to do
this. But I don't want to do it alone...
It's up to you. I don't mind what ever you choose.

ovo Yup.
Still. I see nothing wrong with your walk.
~(-n-)z So shush...

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Amburum In reply to OAOAKUTAMASHIIOAO [2013-06-10 21:13:13 +0000 UTC]

Yeah, I don't. Even though I want to, and I'm capable, I don't. I want a treadmill but my dad still hasn't bought one. I could run in place or just do a bunch of exercises but... Jesus I just can't be SELF motivated. I need like a personal trainer or something or someone who will MAKE me do it. That's why I liked Cheer, cause she'd give us a specific goal (like 30 crunches) and I'd get to it and do it very quickly. Or course my core hurt and I couldn't breathe for a bit, but I mean at least I felt like I was doing SOMETHING. At my house it's just... I don't know. I want to still do art and talk to my friends on the internet, but I also want my social life back. I want to be a 'social butterfly' again. I honestly miss how it was years ago when I was with Aradia and them because I would LITERALLY, be UP, outside and waling EVERYWHERE, ALL the time, as SOON as I woke up. EVERY. DAY. I don't miss the people. I just miss doing that, and having people to do it WITH available at all times. Like Aradia was usually always available, but if she wasn't I had Zoe, or Cendra, or Jessica or sometimes even you, Carolyn or Sam. It just seems like it's a bit harder now because like.. You're in North Carolina now, Carolyn isn't always free (and if she is, it's limited. I like staying out late with friends, too) Taylor has 'strict' parents so she can't always hang out and it's just... I don't have many options anymore. Kyanne will want to stay inside all the time and just... I don't know. I used to love just walking around aimlessly around Oneonta just TALKING with people, you know? That's why I want to go to camp with Carolyn, so we can just hang out and walk around the campsite and just have fun. I feel like if I could do that again but actually HAVE the goal of losing weight, it'd work. You know?

Omg that smiley... XD

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OAOAKUTAMASHIIOAO In reply to Amburum [2013-06-11 00:42:54 +0000 UTC]

That's... technically what I meant.
But okay.

It's not like we'd do like... serious workouts. Just
walk around Oneonta, if Carolyn was allowed, she could
come. I meant just walking around Oneonta sense it'd be
nice out and we really wouldn't have much to do. I got
REALLY into reading stuff about working out, and if you
did ONLY the treadmill you'd be left with loose skin.
Have you ever seen "Click?" In that movie he gets his
fat taken out. In that scene... you'd look like that. O-O
In order to do the treadmill you'd also have lift weights
and do other exercises to tighten your skin so you aren't
left with... that. o,o But if we walked around and swam
and took our time, we would lose weight AND tighten our
skin. Like that one summer when we walked from your house
to my house ALL the time, and we were always doing a BUNCH
of stuff. Like then. We COULD lose weight. You wouldn't
even realize it's happening. All we'd have to do is get
outside for awhile everyday. Like... going to play with
the puppies for awhile. Running around with them would help
too. I'm just suggesting stuff. But... it really would work.
I know you want to lose weight. So do I! And if you don't
want to do it this way than okay. I'll stop suggesting it.
But I'll probably still go out every day to walk to River
street and back. I'll eat a little more healthy and try to
be awake all day to keep my body burning fat away... o-o'

Isoundstupid.

But seriously... I'll shut up if you want. D:

And I know right! xD
I do those a lot now.
Mostly with Aria. xD
But they're so cute. eve

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Amburum In reply to OAOAKUTAMASHIIOAO [2013-06-11 00:51:27 +0000 UTC]

Well if he gets me the treadmill, I'd start using those little work out pictures I got after a run. Like, the treadmill is all I really need to be MOTIVATED to actually get into a work out cycle. Like I'd run/jog/walk every time I felt bad about myself or something but I'd stretch before, stretch after, do other things like crunches or something..

I do want to do that ;-; Just... I'll only be for a little bit of the Summer... >-< So we gotta walk around Oneonta a lot! 8D

They're so cute XD April does them a lot too ;w;

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OAOAKUTAMASHIIOAO In reply to Amburum [2013-06-11 01:03:02 +0000 UTC]

I see... o-o
I still don't want to use a like Treadmills though. xD

You'll only be.. What? I'm confused. :c
>-> Is that a no? xD

They are. eve
I love them. x3

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Amburum In reply to OAOAKUTAMASHIIOAO [2013-06-11 01:06:15 +0000 UTC]

Oh well, I don't think he's going to buy one soon, anyways XD

I meant it'll* ;-; No XD

Me too ;u;

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OAOAKUTAMASHIIOAO In reply to Amburum [2013-06-11 01:12:35 +0000 UTC]

I thought he was gonna buy one a long time ago.

Alright. xD Just a heads up, I'll be leaving the
house every day to walk around for awhile. I'll
probably take my iPhone and my other phone just
in case someone attempts to kill me... o-o Other
than that, I'd probably take an hour or two. xD
So don't be worried if you wake up and I'm just..
GONE. xD

I can't wait to get to Oneonta... :c

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Amburum In reply to OAOAKUTAMASHIIOAO [2013-06-11 01:26:53 +0000 UTC]

He SAID he would... But lately I honestly think he just says he'll do things just to make me 'happy' but never actually intends to DO them -__-. That's the exact reason why I'm taking going to see Mitchell (technically) into my own hands.

Nuh-uh bitch, don't you leave without me! I wanna go too!

Me too :c

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OAOAKUTAMASHIIOAO In reply to Amburum [2013-06-11 01:49:14 +0000 UTC]

I see. o-o
C... Can I go with you?
I mean, you can have ALL the fun you want with Mitch.
I just wanna go there for a vacation and that'd be SO
fun to just stay in a hotel, and scavenge around NZ.
xD I'd probably get sent back.

You... YOU JUST SAID NO. xD

So...
What'd your dad say about the whole...
ME. xD

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Amburum In reply to OAOAKUTAMASHIIOAO [2013-06-11 01:54:21 +0000 UTC]

If you can some how save up enough money to pay for your ticket, I'll be your transportation! XD

NO I DIDN'T. XD I said since you're only staying for like, 2 months, we'd only be able to go for walks and 'work out' together for two months. I was just just stating a downside, that's not no XDDD

I don't know he hasn't really given me a direct answer yet (again). I really think he's just starting to NOT care anymore. He doesn't see or care how important Mitchell is to me, he doesn't care how badly I want a treadmill. He just cares about the fact that he thinks he'd be spending on this money on something that's not worth it. -,-

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OAOAKUTAMASHIIOAO In reply to Amburum [2013-06-11 02:00:55 +0000 UTC]

Okie dokie lokie. When ya leaving? :3

Oh.. Well... WE GONNA WORK OUT FO' TWO MONTHS.
We can lose some weight, that's possible. We
could lose lot's o' pounds in that time, y'know?
Wee~
WALK TIME..

Oh... :c
Tell him that. >->
He needs to listen to you more.
Especially if you're going to be
living with him and not your mom.

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Amburum In reply to OAOAKUTAMASHIIOAO [2013-06-11 02:11:15 +0000 UTC]

I'm trying to get everything collected by Christmas break this year. And I want to leave like, a week before so I can have two weeks to spend them (and I'd spend my birthday AND Christmas with him, AND it'd be in the SUMMER..)

Yey! 8D

He's not going to take me seriously. I don't know what I'm talking about, apparently.

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OAOAKUTAMASHIIOAO In reply to Amburum [2013-06-11 04:25:55 +0000 UTC]

Ohhh. ovo
Well..
I can try! xD
I'm not very good at raising money, but I am very
good at saving it, so maybe I can. How much are
round trip tickets to NZ during Christmas for us? c:
To tell the truth, I'm guessing a little more than
2000. Only for the fact that it's a round trip, it's
during vacation time, AND it's to NZ. xD So... we
really have to make MONEY. o,o

.D.

Well... my dad is sometimes like that... he says I'm
a 'KID' so I don't understand financial problems. I
feel like I could be doin' better than him. o-o'

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Amburum In reply to OAOAKUTAMASHIIOAO [2013-06-11 20:10:17 +0000 UTC]

They're about exactly $2,000 for a round ticket. Just a plain ticket there is $1,000. I have over $180 bucks saved up in my room in cash at the moment. So yeah... We got a looonnnggg way to go ;_;

HA. Coming from a guy who puts his wife in front of his down daughter and a roof over his own head. OOOOOOOH-kay. Sorry if that was kinda... Mean. I mean I know he's still your dad, but I thought that he would only visit her like.. Once a year. And that was back when you guys actually LIVED somewhere. I get sometimes 'kids' and teenagers DON'T get or know as much as they do, but that doesn't mean all adults automatically DO just because they're ADULTS. Yeah, they may KNOW about it, but that doesn't mean they know how to DO it correctly and efficiently.

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OAOAKUTAMASHIIOAO In reply to Amburum [2013-06-11 20:20:34 +0000 UTC]

For both of us round ticket is around 2600... I looked
it up on Kayak. OvO'

You didn't hear about the reason why he is going there
more and now wants to MOVE there sense I wont be living
with him... Did you?

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Amburum In reply to OAOAKUTAMASHIIOAO [2013-06-11 20:40:24 +0000 UTC]

We gon be shit broke if we end up goin gurl eue

I still have Kerenza on my friends list so I saw the Sonograms. She's pregnant, I know. And I read your journal from a while back.... >-> But if that's not the reason, then no. You haven't. XD

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OAOAKUTAMASHIIOAO In reply to Amburum [2013-06-11 20:49:02 +0000 UTC]

Yes. We will be. xD
But I'll have so much fucking fun.

Yeah... Imma be a big sister... o-o
It was VERY surprising... >->

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Amburum In reply to OAOAKUTAMASHIIOAO [2013-06-11 20:53:13 +0000 UTC]

Hell yeah =w=

Yeah.. ._. So does that mean he's not trying to get her to come here anymore?

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OAOAKUTAMASHIIOAO In reply to Amburum [2013-06-11 21:17:36 +0000 UTC]

xD

Pretty much.

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Amburum In reply to OAOAKUTAMASHIIOAO [2013-06-11 22:02:55 +0000 UTC]

Woww... So is he just going to leave you behind or is he trying to take you with him?

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OAOAKUTAMASHIIOAO In reply to Amburum [2013-06-12 01:25:22 +0000 UTC]

Pretty much... Leave me...

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Amburum In reply to OAOAKUTAMASHIIOAO [2013-06-12 02:29:30 +0000 UTC]

...Again, wow -,-. Good thing you're with Marina then.. I guess. She takes better care of you anyways, right? She and Les? And they also have a baby to pay attention to.

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OAOAKUTAMASHIIOAO In reply to Amburum [2013-06-12 03:45:39 +0000 UTC]

Please. it's more like me an Marina.
Ihateherhusband.
BUT. ovo
Yup. Everything is good here.
I mean, I don't want to live here due to the
fact that every storm we have I have to watch
the weather channel to make sure we won't die
from a tornado. And the fact that people down
here have NO personal hygiene, AND that they
don't comprehend the words, "You're not my
fucking parent." Other than that... all good.
o-o Melody is so much to me now. x3 I never
thought I'd be like this to a baby. xD

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Amburum In reply to OAOAKUTAMASHIIOAO [2013-06-12 04:19:43 +0000 UTC]

Why? D: What's happened since I last heard...?

Ewwie tornados ;-; and wow ._.

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OAOAKUTAMASHIIOAO In reply to Amburum [2013-06-12 06:18:30 +0000 UTC]

Not much really. I've never really liked him. He's just a know-it-all-redneck. It fucking bothers me. Because I'M the one that's right, yet he doesn't believe me and literally argues with me until I search it up and prove him wrong. Plus sense he moved close to his fucking mom. Mommasboy. He is over there every fucking second. So it's Marina and I who are the ones taking care of the baby. It's pissing Marina off too. She almost said she was leaving him and taking the baby to NY cause she hates it here.
But I guess things are a TAD better. They still argue a fucking lot.

Mhm. I'm terrified every time I see a single fucking cloud. xD

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Amburum In reply to OAOAKUTAMASHIIOAO [2013-06-12 18:10:53 +0000 UTC]

Ohh.. Yeah, now I remember when I was in the car with you guys how they were playing 'country' music. I think I completely forgot Les was like that and now it makes sense why they moved down there, considering that's where his mom is also XD But yeah that doesn't sound good... He's not helping out with the baby at all? They never seemed to argue a lot before they moved, did they? Things seemed fine before then ._.

I would be too XD Is there at least a basement where you live? Or like, a shelter near by?

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OAOAKUTAMASHIIOAO In reply to Amburum [2013-06-12 20:02:24 +0000 UTC]

They argued a lot. o-o'
They just argue even more now cause he's
a momasboy and is CONTANTLY over at her place
which is RIGHT across the street, and the
reason they moved BEFORE was to get AWAY
from her... I warned Marina but she just
didn't listen. So now she's in a living hell
so am I, but I won't leave her alone...
Especially with him like this... I'm not
gonna have the chance that I go back and
he ends up leaving her... :c I'm not that
much of a bitch... ;^;
So... I'll stay with her and helps her with
the baby whenever he's too lazy to get off his
redneck hillbilly ass to do it himself...

OvO

No basement. But we do have Les's aunt's house.
She lives in this REALLY nice HUGE house with
a basement... And a fucking fat-ass dog. o-o

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Amburum In reply to OAOAKUTAMASHIIOAO [2013-06-12 20:27:39 +0000 UTC]

Is his mom sick or lonely or something? And what do you mean move away from her? Did she live up in New York before? Then she followed them?

Well, that's good at least ._. That she doesn't have to do it alone, I mean.

Ha, Gabby used to be fat. XD Is that where you guys would go if there was a tornado?

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OAOAKUTAMASHIIOAO In reply to Amburum [2013-06-13 19:25:23 +0000 UTC]

No. It's a long story. I'm too lazy to type a lot
right now. ;n; I'm cowering in fear in my room..
That's good enough for me.

Mhm, that's why I'm here.

Yeah. Which I'll be going soon cause we are having
a watch. QuQ Wish me luck..

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Amburum In reply to OAOAKUTAMASHIIOAO [2013-06-13 19:41:19 +0000 UTC]

That's okay ._. You can tell me later/when you feel like it XD

As long as you're in some kind of underground shelter, you should be fine. Take Baxter!

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OAOAKUTAMASHIIOAO In reply to Amburum [2013-06-13 20:15:06 +0000 UTC]

Never mind. It was just updated as a severe
thunderstorm warning... that's all. We wont
leave unless it gets worse... OuO I'm FINEE
now... QuQ Just a small heart attack..

And I won't leave this house unless he lets
me take Baxter and Buddy. I will STAY in my
room while they go if they didn't let me go
with the animals too... >:C That's that.

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Amburum In reply to OAOAKUTAMASHIIOAO [2013-06-13 20:26:53 +0000 UTC]

Oh XD It's been literally raining all day, every day here. It only lets up at night, then the morning comes and it continues to rain allllll day. It. SUCKS.

I almost asked who Buddy was, but then I remembered Kamikaze hamster XD I'd be like that too with my cat/the puppies ;-;

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OAOAKUTAMASHIIOAO In reply to Amburum [2013-06-13 20:56:51 +0000 UTC]

Yeah, that's what my dad has been saying.
And flooding?

Mhm. He's gettin' old. He still Kamikaze's
but he's becoming an old hamster. :c

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Amburum In reply to OAOAKUTAMASHIIOAO [2013-06-14 23:24:12 +0000 UTC]

There hasn't been any flooding that I've heard of o,o

Awe :c

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Hexfloog In reply to ??? [2013-05-05 13:48:51 +0000 UTC]

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OAOAKUTAMASHIIOAO In reply to Hexfloog [2013-05-11 02:52:07 +0000 UTC]

>,> Uh...
Hiya?

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cottoncloudyfilly In reply to ??? [2013-05-01 12:08:58 +0000 UTC]

[link]

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OAOAKUTAMASHIIOAO In reply to cottoncloudyfilly [2013-05-11 02:52:18 +0000 UTC]

Thank you so much! c:>

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cottoncloudyfilly In reply to OAOAKUTAMASHIIOAO [2013-05-11 16:00:22 +0000 UTC]

no prob,is my request done?

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OAOAKUTAMASHIIOAO In reply to cottoncloudyfilly [2013-05-12 20:06:01 +0000 UTC]

No I'm sorry. It's not. But I've been working ALL day today and yesterday to get it finished as soon as possible. I promise, I will get it up and finished VERY soon. I really do apologize. So much has been going on. It's crazy. I'm sorry for the wait.

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cottoncloudyfilly In reply to OAOAKUTAMASHIIOAO [2013-05-13 17:51:56 +0000 UTC]

oki

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OAOAKUTAMASHIIOAO In reply to cottoncloudyfilly [2013-06-02 04:52:36 +0000 UTC]

Okay, listen.
I am SO sorry that it's taken so long.
I really am. D':
I've had so much stuff to do lately I never got the chance to do it.
I recently moved across the country.
I have had very bad family problems.
And I've barely been home to do it.

FINALLY, things have gotten better.

I do have it done now.
I hope you can find a way to fogrive me.
Now that I have time I'll do another request if you'd like.
As a way to apologize for this taking so long.
I promise if you DO want another one then I'd be HAPPY to do it RIGHT away for you.
If you'd really want me to... c:>
This drawing has taken me forever. It's my favorite drawing I've done yet.
I hope you like it. I really do. I normally never take long to do a request.
I am SO SORRY.

Here's the link.

[link]

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cottoncloudyfilly In reply to OAOAKUTAMASHIIOAO [2013-06-02 08:22:11 +0000 UTC]

I dont mind at all,I actual have waiting for some request for a year so,its not problem for me.and it to look great!

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OAOAKUTAMASHIIOAO In reply to cottoncloudyfilly [2013-06-02 19:16:31 +0000 UTC]

eve Oh, good.
I'm glad you like it, despite the time it took to make it.
:> I think they look adorable together.

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cottoncloudyfilly In reply to OAOAKUTAMASHIIOAO [2013-06-03 09:43:39 +0000 UTC]

xd.hoe doesnt?

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OAOAKUTAMASHIIOAO In reply to cottoncloudyfilly [2013-06-03 18:58:04 +0000 UTC]

xD True true.

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sofijasoler In reply to ??? [2013-04-16 19:35:57 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for

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OAOAKUTAMASHIIOAO In reply to sofijasoler [2013-04-16 21:10:47 +0000 UTC]

You're welcome.

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