Fayzbub In reply to BassoonistfromHell [2012-08-04 07:05:55 +0000 UTC]

Thanks! My hand is healing up nicely and I had a great birthday, with ten long-stemmed red roses from my husband, a pair of silver and moonstone earrings, and a gift certificate to the local theatre. So yeah, I had a nice time!

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Fayzbub In reply to tehgamesayshi [2011-08-01 07:41:36 +0000 UTC]

Aw, that's so kind! Thanks, I had a great day, a bunch of yellow roses and daisies from my husband, the first series of "Trueblood" from my daughter (I love Charlaine Harris's books - yay for trashy vampire novels!) and some other bits and pieces from friends and family. My friend made me a batch of these cute little cupcakes made to look like owls (for learning, she said!) but they've all been eaten now, they didn't last long in this house! And because my first uni class on Monday starts at eleven a.m., I was able to sleep in. Heaven will be like this!
Ali

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tehgamesayshi In reply to Fayzbub [2011-08-01 18:30:25 +0000 UTC]

Wow! Your husband is so sweet, I've heard of only the Trueblood tv series, and those cupcakes sound cute and yummy!!! Too bad you didn't get a pic of the owl cupcakes! I can imagine they were downright adorable! >w< I'm so happy you had a great birthday!

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Fayzbub In reply to kidliquorice [2011-08-01 07:48:52 +0000 UTC]

Hi! Well, your colleague sounds like a bit of a putz, to tell you the truth; so many Neurotypicals get hold of totally the wrong end of the stick and make some really dopey assumptions about us. Believe me, I've been there before!

I wouldn't worry too much about it, and certainly wouldn't bother to answer: my experience of NTs is that they usually forget they asked five minutes later, while we fixate on things and wonder what we should have done differently. He's probably forgotten the whole incident by now.

On the offchance that he has a little more memory than your average NT, and keeps at you about it, you might try suggesting he look up the Aspies for Freedom webpage if he wants to learn more about Aspergers and autism in general. Tell him he can't really know anything about it until he's actually listened to Aspies telling our own stories.

That's the problem with a lot of NTs: they think they know, but they should just ASK us!

I hope that helps, and I'm sorry I didn't answer earlier, I've only just got back from a day at uni.
Ali

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kidliquorice In reply to Fayzbub [2011-08-06 14:23:53 +0000 UTC]

hi! Don't worry about delayed replies, I don't come online much either.

Yeah. I think he watched one documentary about it and now thinks he knows everything. I always thought him a bit more intelligent than that, but I guess that's NTs for you. He's okay, just clueless when it comes to this. It's funny how they refuse to believe we can empathise, yet it seems when it comes to interacting with Aspies, they are the ones who lack any empathy and theory of mind!

I was forgetting how quickly others forget stuff that can stay on our minds for ages. Still, it's annoying me that he is carrying on thinking these fallacies. I'm going to have to try, even if he ignores it.

I knoooooow!! Why not just ask if they want to know! I'll tell you something interesting that happened at work last week. This customer, she told me her son was autistic. I said, So am I. And she looked at me like -- well I don't know, but it wasn't positive. So I said, I have Asperger's. And she said, Ohhhhhhh but you're just high functioning. I was like So I said, well even though I'm high functioning, it can still be difficult for me, so it must be very complicated for your son, ie I was just trying to be sympathetic. And she was so contemptuous! Again with, But you're JUST high functioning (as if being high-functioning means I don't really have it at all), my son blah blah and then how sorry she feels for him. And I thought, Did you ever bother to ask your son if he wants your pity? She came in a few times after, and every time she refers to him as 'my autistic son'. Is his austism in any way relevant to the fact that she is buying him pyjamas??? Why not just, 'my son'? Isn't he a human first of all? I wish I could have told her that, but I can never get the words at the time. Weird people. I'll never understand NTs.

(I can't write short messages; sorry!!)

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Fayzbub In reply to kidliquorice [2011-08-07 01:18:32 +0000 UTC]

I know what you mean about the disbelief when people realize about the autism. There was a woman like that I knew at the last place I worked: her son was very mildly autistic. She molly-coddled and bullied him in pretty equal amounts, and then gave herself airs at work for "understanding autistic kids". She'd flash cards at them but do nothing to make the classroom easier for them and didn't do any research at all on how to handle autistics. She was given an extra pay allowance for this "knowledge". Then she'd send her "problem" kids into my classroom, because it was calmer generally and they did better. I used to get so angry with her, getting the kudos under false pretences while I quietly did the job.

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kidliquorice In reply to Fayzbub [2011-08-09 12:36:01 +0000 UTC]

I can imagine that. I hate the way my customer flaunted her son's autism around like some badge of honour (for herself). It's sickening! Did you say anything to that lady about her behaviour?

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Fayzbub In reply to kidliquorice [2011-08-09 12:57:08 +0000 UTC]

Oh, a few times. But it was pretty much water off a duck's back. She had herself convinced that she was some big expert, and, like those convinced that they're right, wouldn't listen to anybody's opinion if it differed (a bit like Autism Speaks, right?) She was also convinced that autism = mental retardation, even though her son was intelligent, I certainly am, and many of my autistic students were, as well. But she was the sort of person who could ignore things that didn't fit her world view. And since we don't think like her, then we had to be mentally retarded as a species! These are the sort of people who annoy me: no matter how many times you show that you're at LEAST as smart as they are, just have a different way of looking at things, you're still seen as lacking.

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kidliquorice In reply to Fayzbub [2011-08-09 13:23:06 +0000 UTC]

I know! Like the guy who thinks I can't empathise with people at all or that Aspies never buy presents for anyone (have you ever heard that one from anyone at all? I wonder where he got that info from?).

WE have rigid thinking? Yeah, right. NTs are the most rigid thinking people. They think I'm *weird*, because if I don't know about a subject, I will take the time to look it up! It's like they revel in ignorance.

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Fayzbub In reply to almcdermid [2011-07-18 02:39:00 +0000 UTC]

Thank you for that. No, I don't know MU. I just thought that the little alien avatar looks a bit like me and it's outlook seems similar as well: I tend to be amused at a lot of things, but also somewhat bewildered by why people do things they do! I do enjoy your photography, you're on my watchlist now.
Thanks you sharing!
Ali

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almcdermid In reply to Fayzbub [2011-07-18 11:15:59 +0000 UTC]

Hi Ali,

MU = Mysterious Universe, an Australian podcast that deals with aliens and such.

I'm bewildered all the time.

Thanks again for watching; I'll try to send some good photos your way.

Let me know how things go withe the haiku.

Al

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mjOboe In reply to mjOboe [2011-06-27 04:13:33 +0000 UTC]

(and watch!)

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