Plaanti [2020-01-30 11:40:38 +0000 UTC]

READING THROUGH YOUR COMMENT SECTION TO SEE THIS BOT POST PARAGRAPHS SJSBSKDBXKXK HOW DO YOU SURVIVE YHAT

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

MislamicPearl [2019-11-15 19:00:23 +0000 UTC]

Heeeyyyyy happy birthday my friend! >w<

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

KaidokJ [2019-11-01 06:46:31 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for the fav on INKTOBER 26: Dark - A face for deep space radio...

But he does have a butt for talk show television. I hear it’s already in negotiations with several networks about a primetime show slot. Of course, everyone knows that if you want to make it as a rear-end in the entertainment industry the only real choice is online streaming, so I don’t understand why his ass has been making a real…jerk of itself. You get your cheeks exposed on the cover of one international magazine and now you think you get to wear the big pants. Next thing you know, he’ll end up having to get butt insurance, and boy is that a pain in the neck.

#ButtsLikeBigBucks  

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

KaidokJ [2019-10-31 10:32:17 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for the fav on INKTOBER 25: Tasty - Needs catsup...

Or catsdown. I don’t discriminated against direction challenged felines. Not that I think either would make for a terribly appealing condiment. But if people want to use their cats to season their food, who am I to judge. I once basted a Christmas goat in half a can of thirty year old creamed corn and a vat of 5 day old Martian whisky, so I shouldn’t be pointing fingers. The goat didn’t even like it. When he woke, boy was he pissed. Thankfully, he was so drunk off the fumes, I was never in any real danger. However, there are several new holes in my kitchen ceiling.

#PermanentCulinaryBan  

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

KaidokJ [2019-10-31 02:58:13 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for the fav on INKTOBER 24: Dizzy - The walls are melting...

Which just goes to show you that you should never build your home from margarine. I know, I know, I should have sprung for a more expensive construction material, like butter, but with the drought, and the rising cost of milk, butter was just a little outside my price range. I blame my contractor. He told me that Canola was just as structurally sound as butter but contained half the fat, and since I’m not a qualified organic engineer, I believed him. And, there goes the bathroom. Dammit. At this rate, I’m not going to have enough of a house to spread on my toast in the morning.

#FatFreeHomeOwner

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

KaidokJ [2019-10-28 23:58:16 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for the fav on INKTOBER 23: Ancient - I think I found the problem

You see you’ve got your ramset driver plugged into your nine iron and that’s just not going to work. How can you expect to get good reception or decent yardage without using a shaved Pekinese as some sort of buffer? My suggestion is that you upgrade your memories to some sort of flashback drive and then you don’t have to worry about losing all your dates to Sheryl, down in marketing. Of course, if you want a new system entirely, I know a Danish Wolfhorse that can give a good deal on a brand new system of government and will even throw in a free monitor lizard. Just let me know and I’ll get you her number.

#ITSupportStories   

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

KaidokJ [2019-10-28 07:29:52 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for the fav on INKTOBER 22: Ghost - Return of the Noodleman

Wacky waving inflatable arm flailing tube men. Bald burping bounceable butt balancing blob babies. Ghastly gabbing unstoppable mouth flapping mean girls. And lastly, lousy lying contemptible leg conning tyre trolls. Down here at Long Winded Larry’s Emporium of Unfortunately Named but Largely Useless Marketing Assistants, we have the perfect advertising aid for an undiscerning customer. Due to a shipping error, and because nobody wants these things, we are currently overstocked. So come on down and take one of these horrifying monstrosities off my hands. Call in the next 329 minutes…I’ll be glad that you did.

#PurpleProsePerpetrator     

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

KaidokJ [2019-10-27 21:39:24 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for the fav on INKTOBER 21: Treasure - I say we go left...

And I stand by that choice. In fact, when faced with a fork in the path, I always go left. It is a life philosophy that has served me well, right up until last week. An overloaded tanker exploded, due to an overheated burrito, just off our coastal hamlet. But don’t worry, no one was injured. The tanker was fully automated, which begs the burrito question, now that I think about it. The point is, the tanker’s cargo of low grade weaponized cutlery was jettisoned during the explosion and now you can’t walk three feet without stumbling upon a fork, sticking out of the ground. It’s been a very disorienting seven days.

#ALeftTooFar  

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

KaidokJ [2019-10-24 11:51:46 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for the fav on INKTOBER 20: Tread - 1, 2...3. Good, all there.

I always worry about losing my marbles. Sure, you try to keep them in a safe place, like inside my neighbor’s cat, Marquis de Bob, or buried with great aunt Angus, but sometimes I can’t help but get the feeling that someone is going to hack my GPS, bypass my PTA level security system, assume my multiple identities and steal my marbles. And let me assure you, my fear is not misplaced. I knew a guy who lost his marbles and now all he does every day is sit around intently reading the Chinese section of his microwave operations manual, as though it conceals some deep cosmic truth. And maybe it does, the Chinese are very intelligent after all. But I just couldn’t handle that kind of life, if I was to lose my marbles. Regardless of how hard I try, I just can’t speak Chinese.

#GetYourHandsOffMyMarbles

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

KaidokJ [2019-10-23 03:50:23 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for the fav on INKTOBER 19: Sling - Look at that hangtime

I haven’t seen airtime like that since the Hamlet Worldhoppers. Now those were the days. You should have seen it. Small villages, houses and all, would jump from one planet to another, all for the sake of wholesome entertainment. True, they had a minuscule demographic of viewers, mainly stay-at-home hamsters and the occasional mature aged gerbil, and the cost of production was astronomical, but boy did they get some airtime. Well, actually, since the whole display took place in space, there wasn’t much air per say, but still, it was worth watching if there was absolutely nothing else on TV.

#HoppingMadForHamlets    

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

KaidokJ [2019-10-22 03:06:53 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for the fav on INKTOBER 18: Misfit - Who broke my flux capacitor?

Because you can’t just pick these things at the corner stone, you know. You have to order it, custom. It took three chinchilla enthusiasts countless minutes of meticulous calculations to conceive, and an unimaginable number of pipe cleaners to construct. Do you think it’s easy to fundamentally change the humanity’s understanding of the fabric of the universe? Of course not. That fabric is very unwieldly and is not, I repeat, is not machine washable. I tried it once and unfortunately there was some minor shrinkage. Nothing too significant, a few galaxies might have been lost, but unless you have a really powerful deep space telescope, I doubt you’d even notice it.

#ContriteCosmologicalCleaner

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

KaidokJ [2019-10-21 05:53:24 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for the fav on INKTOBER 17: Ornament - It's good to be the king

Or at least, that has been my experience. New strings daily, well-greased joint hinges, a good polishing every so often and all my subjects fall over themselves in my presence. However, nobody really listens to my ideas, and I have a sneaking suspicion that my administrators are keeping things from me. There’s been rumblings of invasion from that stuffy Plushie Consortium and despite several altercations on the southern border, my chambermaid, Judy, refuses to send in the Marionette Heavy Artillery. General Punch has also been off “on business” for weeks now. If I didn’t know any better, it looks as if they might even orchestrate a palace chicken coup. Something must be done.

#ParanoidPuppetMonarch      

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

KaidokJ [2019-10-19 11:34:50 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for the fav on INKTOBER 16: Wild - Attack of the Gooberbots...

Not a great deal is known about this primitive cybernetic tribe. The only information we do have comes courtesy of a covert palaeontologist operation. Their mission, to seek out old life and ancient alien civilizations. To boldly go where others had been and gone, a long time ago, in galaxies far, far away. Unfortunately, their operation on Pomlic Nort turned up little. In fact, only half a palaeontologist survived. Raving mad, covered in mud and leaves, with a metal bucket superglued to his head, his only message was this. “He’ll be back!”

#VagueAndOminousPropheciesForSale

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

KaidokJ [2019-10-18 23:56:38 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for the fav on INKTOBER15: Legend - Damn you! You blew it all up!

I’m not accusing anyone, but if the guilty party would step forward, then I’m sure they will be rewarded for having the courage to come clean. I think, considering the severity of the crime, a mild defenestration seems like a fitting punishment. Or possibly, ritual amputation of the kneecaps using rehabilitated circus weasels. At worst, death by pop gun firing squad. You don’t want that last option. It takes ages. The last time this sentence was handed down, the poor chap nearly choked to death on a march-fly halfway through their execution, and we started the procedure in September. What’s worse, once we provided medical attention, we then had to start all over from the beginning. So, do the right thing and give yourself up. Don’t let your family live with the shame of what you’ve done. I was really looking forward to blowing up this balloon personally, and now that chance is gone, forever.

Confess! You know you want to. Please.

#IrrationallyInvestedInterrogator   

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

KaidokJ [2019-10-17 08:04:22 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for the fav on INKTOBER14: Overgrown- Daily shearing long overdue

My mother taught me many things. The value of sporadic parental neglect, how to split pea soup cans with your grandpa’s dentures, what factory babies are manufactured in before being shipped out for mandatory military service, and of course, how to conduct high minded discourse in a public forum. But by far the most important lesson she ever taught me was personal grooming. First impressions are everything, and unless you comport yourself in the right way, people will surely form the wrong image about who you are and what you stand for. To prevent this from happening, I have always adhered to a strict regimen of excess hair bleaching, vigorously brushed nails and the periodic removal of unwanted teeth. I can honestly say that thanks to these personal grooming habits, no person has ever gotten the wrong first impression about me. And making a second impression has never really been an issue.

#ExtremeExfoliationExpert

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

KaidokJ [2019-10-16 02:00:54 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for the fav on INKTOBER 12: Dragon - Shoulder Massager for Sale

Sure, it’s been used quite extensively, and it was the prime suspect in three murders, but none of those charges could be proven, so you have nothing to worry about. It’s also very expensive to operate, requiring no less than 11 sacrificial teenagers, a moldy corkscrew, and a box of half eaten thumbtacks, to be refuelled, daily. But can you really put a price tag on a deep tissue shoulder massage. Like, really, really deep tissue. Like, “Oh my god, I’m bleeding to death! Tell my goldfish I loved him, and please delete my browsing history” level of deep tissue manipulation. Now that is the sort of quality that you just can’t find in stores. So just indicate your interest and you’ll go in the pool with the other potential buyers. It shouldn’t be long before we’re ready to start the bidding. Until then, I recommend you keep your head above the water, and just try to ignore the bloated, floating corpses of all those that just couldn’t wait for this sale to start. Besides, we clean the pool daily, so just avoid them and you should be fine.

#HowLongCanYouTreadWater   

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

KaidokJ [2019-10-15 05:00:34 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for the fav on INKTOBER 11: Snow - Goober, the early years

You want to hear about the Goober years, huh? That golden time, before the universe’s most mediocre investigator completed the 15 minute mandatory online certification and received his Secretary of Intergalatic Retrieval non-refundable title. Hmm, what to say… Well, there was the time he walked backwards around the entire circumference of the planet Kip. That was kind of impressive. Of course, Kip is one of the smallest planets in the universe, with a radius of about 3 feet, so is sounds more impressive than it really is. The real challenge was not falling off, so I have to hand it to him for that. There was also the time he single-handedly thwarted the widespread criminal syndicate of Girl Scout Troop 32A, but that was a bit of an accident on his part. It was during his Opium flavored Peppermint Candywheel Cookie addiction period, and in his junkie stupor he managed to cripple the Troop’s major distribution network while desperately searching for his next big fix. Still, it was a pretty impressive coincidental accomplishment for a 6 year old. And I believe his time in rehab really turned him into the man he is today.

#FallingDownMemoryLane       

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

KaidokJ [2019-10-11 23:22:50 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for the fav on INKTOBER 9: Swing - Class, watch the demonstration

TEACHERBOT: According to the fossil record, our researchers have concluded that this contraption was used in the public torture of young children during the barbarous years of the 20th Century. Based upon the high number of recovered artefacts it has been speculated that this practice was widespread. It is unclear as to what these children could have done to warrant such cruel treatment but we do know when it stopped. Gertie Bumps, the noted historian, has, through rigorous investigation of the pop culture archives, concluded that this horrific practice ceased shortly after the Time Skip of 3287/3311. Overnight, everyone aged 23 years and time dilation science was set back 200 years. However, with no children to torture, the devices lay dormant and haven’t been used since.

TIMMYBOT219: 01110011 01110100 01110101 01110000 01101001 01100100 00100000 01110100 01100101 01100001 01100011 01101000 01100101 01110010

TEACHERBOT: Perhaps it’s time to reintroduced the practice…

#BringBackTheCorporalSwinging

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

KaidokJ [2019-10-10 05:54:16 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for the fav on INKTOBER 8: Frail - Extra points for the trash can

Can you believe this? What kind of an idiot thinks it’s acceptable to compete for Arbitrary Points by wiping out pedestrians, stray pets and various innocent inanimate objects with their preferred vehicle of choice? It’s barbaric, that’s what it is. Insensitive too. But mainly, it’s woefully inefficient. Every competitor in Road Rage Bingo has their own scoring system, which ultimately leads to rampant cheating and widespread corruption within the various professional leagues. Regulations would certainly help in this regard, but at this point, that is more of a band-aid solution. If you ask me, and you should, the real future of Arbitrary Points is in the ancient sport of dry bed bog snorkelling. I know some people are going to disagree, as they heavily invest in sports like soft cheese rolling, or legless shin kicking, and they are free to think that. But just you wait and see. Snorkelling your way through a dried up bog of peat and amphibian carcasses is set to be the next big thing in AP collection. Mark my words.

#ThatSnorkelHasBeenLikeASnorkelToMe      

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

KaidokJ [2019-10-09 01:00:02 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for the fav on INKTOBER 7: Enchanted - Reverse Mermaid Alert!

But don’t worry, this is just a Tangerine Level Alert. One reverse mermaid is only barely enough of a threat to even issue an alert, but regulations state that any reverse mythological creature sighting must be reported. The last thing we need is a repeat of The Incidental Accident. Security was more lax back then. I remember it like it was yesterday, but it was more like 33 hours ago. Two reverse mermen appeared and someone, Trevor, failed to report it. Within minutes, 7 reverse giants started rampaging through the sector, followed closely by a team of reverse centaurs. Then things really went to hell. Our strongly worded ‘no entry’ sign, our only line of defence against Reverse Dimension, was knocked over and a flood of reverse and even double reverse creatures started flooding in. It took hours to restore the sign and we still haven’t fully recovered from influx of all those “backwards”. Thus, the alert. Consider yourself warned.

#SeeSomethingReversedSaySomething  

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

KaidokJ [2019-10-07 20:51:25 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for the fav on INKTOBER 6: Husky - It's how you use it...

Which is true of any weapon. Melon baller, floral embroidered pillow, a roll of second-hand toilet paper, the ‘w’ key from a 1998 Macintosh keyboard, a taxidermied East African trout. These are all superior tools of death and mayhem but only in the hands of a fully trained health care professional. Technique is important. In the hands of an idiot, even a ludicrously overpowered energy based firearm is more likely damage the user than the target. Hernias kill people every day. Don’t be drawn in by the lure of big weaponry. Know your limits.

#DualWeildingSponges

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

KaidokJ [2019-10-05 22:07:39 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for the fav on INKTOBER 4:Freeze - Only 9419 days till retirement

While I’ve never been subjected to instantaneous icing via freeze ray for something as minor as a parking violation, which would be absurd since I don’t own a car, I have been frozen a time or two over the small matter of overdue library books. Now I know some people might consider cryogenics as an overly excessive punitive measure, particularly over something as innocuous as late library books, but as a rehabilitated offender I can attest to its success rate. Okay, sure, I did say that I’ve been frozen twice, but the second punishment was just because it took me so long to thaw out the first time that when I was finally able to return the books from the first fine they were really, really late, thus incurring a second freezing penalty. Obviously the system isn’t perfect, but it gets results. I have the frostbite to prove it.

#MyAccountWasFrozen

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

KaidokJ [2019-10-04 23:37:29 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for the fav on INKTOBER 3: Bait - Eyeballing the Abyss...

I think abysses get a bit of a bad rap and for the most part it seems like this reputation is quite undeserved. Sure, you can never win in a staring contest with one and just accepting the challenge is sure to really mess up your noggin. And they’re notoriously easy to fall into, I mean there is no warning signs or anything, which makes getting liability coverage very difficult. And they never lead to anything good, like a verdant field of medically euphoric unicorns or toxically sweet frolicking miniature hippopotami. And there is almost certainly some unfathomably sinister being of unimaginable power lurking deep within that could wipe out existence with a negligent sneeze from who knows how many orifices. But you shouldn’t let these minor quirks sway you into a negative opinion. I recommend taking the time to get to know one instead of succumbing to baseless discrimination. Your life will never be the same.

#OldGodOptimist  

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

KaidokJ [2019-10-02 09:05:02 +0000 UTC]

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

RaccoonSaloon [2019-03-27 14:55:03 +0000 UTC]

Thanks so much for the fav, I greatly appreciate it!
Keep up the stellar artwork and have a fantastic weekend!!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

NadeRegen [2019-03-11 13:01:54 +0000 UTC]

thanks for the watch!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

RedTweny [2019-02-02 18:17:33 +0000 UTC]

!T!H!K!S! for having spent some your minutes in my gallery and for the fav...very appreciated ! So...a Llama for you 

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

phobicangel [2019-01-19 22:09:59 +0000 UTC]

hey graant guess what

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Morloth88 [2018-12-28 18:07:04 +0000 UTC]

HI

Thank you for the watch

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

phobicangel [2018-12-24 19:40:08 +0000 UTC]

your homestuck folder has 413 deviations in it

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

NadeRegen [2018-12-21 22:00:14 +0000 UTC]

thanks for the fave!!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1