KaidokJ [2017-11-28 00:11:14 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for the fav on Wallis - Four Horsies AO

Sorry, no funny story thing on this one. This picture is one of my much older pieces, way before I completely lost my mind, and as such I haven't gotten around to writing a story for it. Hopefully sometime soon I will, but for now you're just going to have to make do with my appreciation. Fair warning, my appreciation is non-refundable, non-transferable and not suitable for children under the age of 5. Please keep my appreciation in a cool dry place and see label for best care instructions. Also for legal reasons, I must inform you that my appreciation cannot be used as a plausible defense for murder, a suitable form of birth control or a medical alternative to anti-psychotic medication.

If you would like a free funny story, by all means favorite something from here , all of these pics have a fav reply story. But only if you want. No pressure. There is also the Kevin Chronicles, found in this gallery , if you don’t feel like faving anything. Chapter one is here - The Kevin Chronicles - Chapter 1 .

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KaidokJ [2017-11-28 00:03:24 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for the fav on Peanut

After years of gruelling work it is here. After hours of delicate genetic manipulation, tireless orchestration of cross species breeding, and a decade spent sitting in a corner observing a crack in the plaster (time I maintain was crucial to my research), it is finally here. People said it couldn't be done. People said it shouldn't be done. People said I should stop calling them, looking for an opinion. Well to all my naysayers I give you Arnold, the Teacup Elephant. They're small, they're cute and they fit in your pocket. They are the perfect...weapon. And when my army of pintsized pachyderms is complete, I will be ready to take over the Tri-State Area.

- EvilAndRegionallyAmbitious

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KaidokJ [2017-11-28 00:01:40 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for the fav on 121 - We don't need no stinkin piper...

My experience with them has not been good. I hired one just last week to fix a clog in the bathroom sink. A herd of subterranean canyon goats have been squatting in there for three years now and hairless or not, those bleaters really know how to gum up the plumbing. I keep telling them to swallow their bubble-gum, like everyone else, but they’re such fussy eaters. Anyway, so I got this guy’s number from that yellow book that magically shows up on my doorstep every year, I think aliens leave it there or something, and I called him. What a disaster that was. Not only did he not know which end of the monkey holds the wrench, I now have a blended family of sewer rats living in my cistern. I just wish his wasn’t the only number in the book. As it is, I have a leak in my water heater, so I’m kind of over a barrel. Here’s hoping he does a better job this time.

- TotallyPiped

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KaidokJ [2017-11-28 00:01:08 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for the fav on DS#109 - I'm just gonna be hungry again in an hour

I’m not supposed to eat flies anyway, way too many calories. My dietician says I need to stick to an arachnid rich diet, which is harder than you think. It’s not the taste, or my paralyzing arachnophobia, it’s not even the hallucination inducing neurotoxic venom, which is actually quite pleasant. I got to spend an afternoon disputing the moral ramifications of spray cheese on the indigenous population of Northern Antarctica during the great polar bear uprising, with a young Albert Einstein, one sunny afternoon, thanks to a particularly potent lunch of grilled funnel web. My only real problem with a strict spider only diet is the cobwebs. Those bloody things really stick to your teeth.

- EightLeggedFoodie 

Also, sorry about the extremely late replies. My computer fell into a time dilation field and is only now delivering this message.    

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KaidokJ [2017-11-27 22:16:03 +0000 UTC]

Thank you for choosing AbsurdAir, your captain for this flight is KaidokJ . I have no license, I’m considered legally blind and I’m easily distrac… Wait, what was I talking about…

But not to fear. There’s a good chance we’ll never make our destination, but since this whole flight metaphor is just a weak attempt at a humorous anecdote, I don’t think that’s going to be a problem. Ah damn, I just shattered the illusion by crashing through the 4th wall.

Anyway, thanks for the watch.

I’m sure you regret your choice by now, considering this madness is basically what you signed up for, but since all tickets are non-refundable, welcome to Crazytown. Quarantine measures come into effect upon arrival.  

On a more serious note, here’s basically the run down. Posting regularly (fingers crossed), free funny stories in almost all fav replies, and an intro to Kevin the Llama in the Llama Badge reply. Also, if you haven’t already heard, I’ve been designated Kevin Llamason’s official biographer, so you can check out what he’s been up to in The Kevin Chronicles . (Unfortunately “The Kevin Chronicles” are currently on hiatus, while Kevin gets a handle on his pinecone addiction. In the meantime I hope to experiment with a new format in the near future, so keep an eye out for that)

So that’s about it. Thanks again for flying AbsurdAir, and I hope you enjoy the ride. 

Also, I am really sorry it's taken me this long to thank you. I will be better in the future (I hope...)  

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KaidokJ [2016-06-13 00:43:29 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for the fav on DS#108 - My humps, my humps, my lovely camel lumps

You act like you’ve never seen a humpless camel before. I know it’s a rare condition that is deeply shameful for the poor unfortunate and their family, and will often lead to a life full of suffering, depression and ultimately a dependence on fermented yak saliva, but now there’s hope. With my patented breakthrough in cutting edge hump prosthetics, this crippling stigma is a thing of the past. Just attach the custom engineered, precision molded, Polyethylene terephthalate containers with the provided high tensile strength, organically sourced, 100% recyclable cables made of top quality, locally sourced, alopecia camel hair, and you’ll never have to worry about going thirsty during those long desert treks again. However, I must warn you, the use of this product has been known to attract lazy office-workers who will gather around you and expound the trivialities of what they did over the weekend. But that’s a small price to pay for peace of mind, isn’t it?

- LocalHumpProvider   

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VamGoddessPrincess [2016-06-09 19:20:42 +0000 UTC]

Welcome to DA! Hope you have a good time!

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lordtrigonstar [2016-06-07 21:53:14 +0000 UTC]

Thank you for  my art,my friend. 

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dramaticpeanut [2016-06-07 20:17:34 +0000 UTC]

Welcome to DA!

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