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| Mjag
Mjag
♂️
[2044124]
[2005-11-11 19:12:13 +0000 UTC]
"use your freedom as a weapon"
(United States)
# Statistics
Favourites: 372; Deviations: 537; Watchers: 107
Watching: 45; Pageviews: 61763; Comments Made: 3242; Friends: 45
# Interests
Favorite movies: Watchmen and District 9Favorite bands / musical artists: Bob Dylan, Beatles, Flobots
Favorite writers: David Simon, Ayn Rand, Kurt Vonnegut, Joseph Heller, GEORGE RR MARTIN
Favorite games: Halo Reach
Tools of the Trade: Nikon D90, Photoshop, Lightroom
Other Interests: life and death and seafood
# About me
Current Residence: BrooklynFavourite photographer: art wolfe, bruce percy
Favourite style of art: Landscape photography that makes you NEED to go there
Operating System: 7
MP3 player of choice: iPhone 4
Shell of choice: shotgun
Favourite cartoon character: Deadpool, Early Cuyler, Eric Cartman, Cleveland Brown, Patrick Star, Batman, Quagmire
Personal Quote: I have multiple personality disorder but they're all exactly the same.
# Comments
Comments: 485
I'll tell you what we're going to do, Mohammed, we're going to steal an entire airport. When those nasty Airport Jews wake up the next morning, where their airport was will be nothing but an empty dirt field, and they will have nowhere to land their nasty Jewish airplanes. Allahu akbar.
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Commercial airline travel is actually incredibly dangerous, and there are between 50 to 80 catastrophic passenger plane crashes every year in the United States alone.
You don't hear about it because they're covering it up. The airline companies work with the government to pay off all the victims' families and the witnesses for their silence, and it's like the people on board these planes never even existed. The feds then go on the news and say the crash site was some kind of industrial accident or there was a tornado and usually they'll fabricate some video footage.
This is all because if everyone knew, they would stop flying, and the price of oil would plummet, and Iran would bomb Saudi Arabia, and we would have to go to war in the Middle East again.
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Hey, sergeant shithead! I remembered how much you love disappointments so I baked you a Fuck You Cake, gave it a sex change, had sex with it, sold it to your wife and donated the proceeds to the Islamic State. Happy Veteran's Day, asshole!
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Unlike on most other planets where organisms' innate capacity for time travel are closely correlated with their body mass, on Earth, only tiny organisms such as ants and flies possess a natural time travel ability. They lack any intelligence to control it and use it seemingly at random, unlike the fishmen of Venus, who deftly skip forward in time in unison whenever their planet is struck by a meteor that would exterminate their entire species, which happens about twice a day.
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Even though it resides squarely in the middle of the Western Hemisphere, the United States of America claims sovereignty over 244 different global North Poles and 119 different South Poles.
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When I was in prison I learned a little bit about time travel, but the guy who taught me was a schizophrenic homosexual idiot, so I'm not very good at it and I keep getting caught.
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european space agency probe discovers asteroid to be cardboard-thin rocky shell filled with human blood and living snails the size of cities
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fossilized aeroplane found thirty miles under antarctic surface full of unidentifiable human remains with no bone marrow
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Using outer space to manifest blood of the soul, a biological highway to new dimensions!
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It has parts that are animal, parts that are plant, parts that are a mixture of both and parts that are very clearly neither and have not before been seen on Earth. It seems to be the conglomerate of several kingdoms of life, of which we can only identify a minority.
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Yagway, nush, semerret, choober, prunthem, vunned, quenver.
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President Miller insisted that he must never be photographed or filmed, and all the media, from mainstream to fringe, unanimously complied. His two terms in office from 2020 to 2028 were considered a golden age of American prosperity and progress, and the people loved him though they never knew what he looked like. Instead of showing pictures, newspapers simply described the moderate Republican as an average looking white man with thick glasses and thin hair, aged somewhere between 50 and 70, and when a news event like a debate or an inauguration required Miller to be on live TV, the networks simply showed him from the neck down. He promised to end the secrecy when his term in office ended, but on the January morning which his successor was to move into the Oval Office, he was killed in a car accident that burned his head alone to ashes.
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There are about eight or nine other Great Lakes within the continental United States that are much larger than the five you already know about, including Lake Six (they have numbers, not names) which is almost the size of Texas, but they're only visible from orbit and the government doesn't let anyone draw them on maps or show them in satellite imagery, so most people don't know about them. Every time I go up there I spot a new one (or maybe a new one forms, wouldn't that be weird?), but NASA won't let me take pictures or make sketches or anything like that, because of national security.
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With the exception of homo sapiens, the giant squid is the only animal known to produce intricate abstract and representational sculpture and etchings for purely aesthetic purposes.
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This "America" place you speak of sounds like a very silly land.
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Whenever you throw a plastic bag in the trash instead of recycling it, the bag dies and becomes a ghost. They're small and they don't move and they're not very interesting. Bag ghosts don't have any spooky powers, they're just kind of hard to see, and you can go to jail for having sex with them.
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Ush yem weshmel nuressem, yeg unpelesh mem yeg heleruy?
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Louisiana is the only state in North America without any bird, reptile or mammal life, except humans.
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I found out that you're not a real scientist, you're just a ziploc bag full of algae with a smiley face and the word 'scientist' drawn on it. I'm tired of this and I'm not giving you any more stool samples.
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Szeich! Wouzheim! Pan iftazir nuezim! Oanhru czelrodhar, pan wush ghastem! Szeich! Wouzheim! Pan iftazir nuezim! Oanhru czelrodhar, pan wush ghastem!
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If you have sex with one Senator, one Member of Congress, and one Supreme Court justice, you automatically become President of the United States. But you get no Secret Service protection and your assassination is completely legal.
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GIANT NAZI SPIDER
- Length: 109 feet
- Attack speed: 2
- Damage: 10
- Languages spoken: German, Flemish, Spider
- 100% increased damage against Jews
- 100% increased damage against Blacks
- 75% increased damage against Gypsies
- 40% increased damage against Homosexuals
- 190% damage taken from Americans
- 220% damage taken from Russians
- Defecates when touched
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We've designed the perfect stealth helicopter. It's unmanned, completely silent and invisible to radar, no rotors or other moving parts, and about two inches long. It won't even have to leave your pocket. The enemy will never know it exists.
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Japanese people in Brooklyn steal stop signs. I think they use them for cooking. Like, instead of a knife, they use the stolen stop signs to cut up fish and vegetables. It's probably either that or for some freaky sexual thing.
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I forgot to pay my taxes for the last ten years so I called the IRS and convinced them that they don't exist. They convinced me that I don't exist either. We made a deal that I wouldn't have to pay taxes again as long as I never tell anyone who still exists about this phone call.
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Vicky became obsessed with stealing traffic cones, and she was very good at it. But she didn't know what to do with them afterwards. After two years of this, every square inch of her Brooklyn apartment was filled with thousands of filthy orange traffic cones; she even started nailing them to the walls and ceiling to make room for more.
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I'm spending $2 million on plastic surgery to turn myself into a pyramid. Because have you ever said no to someone who looks like a pyramid? I didn't fucking think so.
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Trust me dude, I'm almost 3% sure that humans evolved from horses.
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Hey bro, no homo, but have you ever been to Egypt, Belize or Mexico?
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You died seven hours after the police found your decomposing body at the bottom of the lake, but since you were still alive when they arrested your killer, you were sentenced to life in prison.
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Every country the United States has ever been to war with has a naval ship named after me.
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After enjoying nearly a century of uncontested military superiority after securing a decisive victory in the Fifth World War seconds after it had begun, the American Empire was caught completely off guard by the Afrussiranian Axis's sudden mastery of time travel technology and their campaign to assassinate American heroes throughout history.
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On a male helicopter, the fuel tanks are the testicles. Why don't adult male helicopters have body hair? On a female helicopter, where are the breasts?
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Purple isn't a color, it's a political philosophy and a chemical compound.
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Even though Vice President Biden is a vegetarian, whenever he tweets a picture of his poop, it always looks like it's full of small fish bones, as if he ate an entire can of sardines without chewing.
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i accidentally your entire geometry and now everyone is from vermont
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Did you hear that Rick Perry plans to fine cab drivers for their cars' carbon emissions?
Texas taxes taxis' toxins.
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Unlike all of earth's other artificial and natural satellites which orbit in elliptical paths, the zunamir and telumir orbit the planet in perfect equilateral triangles.
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Did Republicans cause Hurricane Sandy to give black people autism?
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