HOME | DD

8DarkAngel8 β€” Angelica Robbins Profile

Published: 2011-12-27 05:54:15 +0000 UTC; Views: 477; Favourites: 8; Downloads: 4
Redirect to original
Description Height: 4' 9

Hair: Black

Eyes: Ocean Blue

Skin: Slightly pale

Body type: Slim and tiny body but very, VERY strong.

Style: Likes to wear boyish like clothes that are comfortable and easy to fight with.


Family:

Angelica was abandoned at a young age and never really knew her family. She considered her teacher as her family and was the only family member she ever had. She thought of her as her own mother.
Her teacher, Valeda, was a woman who had inhuman strength and amazing alchemy skills, according to Angelica. Valeda was very strict to Angelica but Angelica knew it was for her own good since she was a bit slow and klutzy so she would also work hard in return.


PERSONALITY:
Angelica is a kind person who was always so generous and put others before herself. She is also very oblivious at times and klutzy but still a great martial artist. She has a split personality which could change in a millisecond due from someoneΒ Β who has either angered her or hurt anyone she knew or loved. Angelica is a sweet natured girl who can suddenly turn into a strong, inhumane monster after being angered or annoyed so it was best to not get into her bad side.


Likes:
Angelica likes to take long quiet walks down the park and setting down to write some short stories in her free time when she isn't practicing alchemy or martial arts. She loves all kinds of sports that are super active and listening to music. She loves it when she has time for herself and feel the peacefulness. She also loves anything fluffy and the color yellow.

Dislikes:
She had hated getting into fights for no particular reason and hated the color purple. She just finds that color scary. She also hates annoying people since she hated the side of her that is really violent. But most of all, she hated liars.

Fears: She has the fear of showing sad emotions in front of people. Usually, she hated it when people pitied her and felt sorry for her. It made it feel like she was low. She knows that she is better than that.

Hobbies: Martial arts, Alchemy, writing short stories, listening to music, and playing sports with people.

Dreams: She wanted to be able to save a mountain load of people, especially children since her childhood was horrible so she never wants to have another child experience what she had. She knew it would'nt be an easy task but challenge is what makes life more exciting for her.

Flaws:
She tends to twirl the ends of her hair when she tries to lie. Angelica was never a good liar and she also had no control on her other self when she becomes really violent. She also has a flaw of klutsiness. Whenever she fights someone with her martial arts skills, she tends to mess up but in the end, she'll still win.

Abilities:
Her best ability is martial arts.

Fun facts:
She loves to laugh, even at the saddest times, laughter is just her medicine.
She can't draw.... at all.

Back story summary:
At birth, she was abandoned in the roads of the East City of Amestris where Valeda found her. She looked at the crying baby and thought about if she would take her with her or not.She hesitated, but still took her and named her Angelica. Valeda decided to train her until she could take care of herself so she stayed in the East City and raised Angelica. At the age of 8, Valeda began to train Angelica how to fight. It was tough at first since Angelica kept tripping and making a ton of mistakes. She was a mess but after a while, she got better.
At the age of 12, they began to travel to different areas and Angelica watched families together on the way. She felt jealous of not having what the family had. She didn't know the feeling of being loved. Also, on the way, she saw many alchemist help and save people's lives and that was where Angelica had found her goal and dream.
Related content
Comments: 9

Toasty-Coconut [2012-01-22 05:08:10 +0000 UTC]

Review time~

BASIC INFO

-Uh. She's REALLY short. Anything under 4'10" is consider to be a midget. So I think you got her height wrong.

-For eyes, just say blue. Being too specific with things like that can come off as sounding like a sue.

-Her body type doesn't make sense to me. How can she be strong, and yet slim and tiny?If a person is strong, especially very strong, they're going to have significant muscle definition. Look at Ed, for example.

-You're missing a few things that are required for the official template: Age, date of birth, nicknames, place of birth, residence, education and occupation. We need all of that info. Please include it.

FAMILY

-You'll have to go more in detail about this abandonment. It seems like it would be very important to her character. You have to figure out why the abandoned her. Being abandoned typically tends to have an effect on people. Even if it happened as a baby.

-Her teacher sounds A LOT like Izumi. You don't want to do that. It sounds very sueish. She has amazing strength, alchemic abilities, is strict and a teacher. I would change her to make her less like Izumi.

PERSONALITY

-Ah. She seems very split... Unless you have bipolar disorder, this can't really apply. Sweet natured, but a monster when angered? If you want people to take your character seriously, you can't really do things like this. It comes off as a sue-like trait.

-For her likes and dislikes, please put them in list format. It makes it a lot easier for the staff to read.

-In her likes and dislikes, give her more likes that involve objects and things like that. She needs more. She needs a lot more dislikes as well.

-Finding the color purple seems very random. I don't think I know anyone who's afraid of a color lol.

-She needs A LOT more fears. Just one isn't going to cut it. Her one fear also doesn't seem completely logical to me. If that is going to be one of her fears, then it needs more depth.

-Her dream... I don't buy it. There needs to be something more specific than that. Saving people isn't a dream. Saving people from what? A fire? Poverty? Hunger? Her dream needs to be something like "a firefighter, so that she can help save lives". Obviously I don't think she should be a firefighter, but just saving people doesn't cut it. Specifics please.

-Twirling the end of her hair isn't a flaw. It's a habit.

-The rest of her flaws... I really don't buy these either. Being a bad liar isn't a flaw. Lying usually tends to be bad. Thus making being bad at it, not a flaw. Klutziness is a flaw, but we aren't crazy over the way you worded it. The way you apply klutziness makes it not a flaw. She makes mistakes but still always wins? Not a flaw then. We're looking for flaws in her personality. She needs many more flaws. Nobody's perfect and nice all the time.

ABILITIES

-This looks fine. But more detail would be nice.

FUN FACTS

-She needs more. More that connect to who she is as a character. These two facts especially don't really tell us anything about her. A lot of people can't draw. And most people love to laugh. We want fun facts that show uniqueness.

BACK STORY

-This needs a lot more to it. I feel like I didn't learn much about her back story through this.

-Why are they traveling so much? It seems random. People don't travel for no reason unless they're a nomad.

-What do you mean she saw families grow? Isn't it just her and her teacher together?

-She never felt the feeling of being loved? Does her teacher not love her? If she's the one who took her in and raised her then I would think that she has to.

-Where was she seeing these alchemists? How were they saving lives and why did this inspire her?

OVERALL

I see a lot of need for improvement in this. You needs to go more in depth with your details and tell us more about who she is as a character and why she would fit into the world of FMA. At this point she seems under developed, but keep working and you'll get there.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

8DarkAngel8 In reply to Toasty-Coconut [2012-01-22 07:21:46 +0000 UTC]

okay, so i basically need to improve this by writing more in depth and less sueish. Is there a redo on making the profile or do I just leave it the way it is?

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

Toasty-Coconut In reply to 8DarkAngel8 [2012-01-22 09:31:37 +0000 UTC]

You can edit the profile and have it reviewed as many times as you would like.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

8DarkAngel8 In reply to Toasty-Coconut [2012-01-22 14:17:05 +0000 UTC]

will do!

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

Kirikromium [2011-12-27 19:12:44 +0000 UTC]

Wow! Very good! I like her outfit! ^___^

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

8DarkAngel8 In reply to Kirikromium [2011-12-28 03:08:05 +0000 UTC]

thankies~

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

badgerflight [2011-12-27 10:05:34 +0000 UTC]

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

8DarkAngel8 In reply to badgerflight [2011-12-27 10:22:23 +0000 UTC]

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

badgerflight In reply to 8DarkAngel8 [2011-12-27 10:26:17 +0000 UTC]

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0