HOME | DD
91816119 — fickle.
Published: 2011-08-30 15:06:30 +0000 UTC; Views: 1257; Favourites: 21; Downloads: 4
Redirect to original
Description
Writing is a fickle art.it's scary
feel the
fear
as you see that blank page before you.
watch yourself feel like
emotions personality meaning
your existence culminates at this one point; pausing before making that first
-m a r k-
on the paper.
p
o
u
r
your heart and soul into the words and read it back wrong.
you do not even see yourself in this - for when we write, a little bit of ourselves is committed to the story.
your sole confidant throughout the tangle of our lives
so why? spend hours, deliberating, crossing out, when that first word to that last
stop.
is the most truthful part of the ink? the
---strike-->
through that sentence, the one about something deemed
"too immature silly simple stupid"
is like a knife to your skin.
but as they say,
writing is a fickle art.
and writers are fickle artists
Related content
Comments: 25
2019 and this still takes the cake... and all else on the table
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
I can see the feelings here, and I admire the typography as well. Very good!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
i understand where you are coming from, though i am a bit more... desensitized to these feelings since i have been writing for over 30 years. you get used to the fickleness, to the exposure of the self, to seeing the progression of thoughts and skill and talent through layers and layers of paper defaced with words.
good work here.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I can imagine. I've been writing for...about ten years, but taking it seriously for about two. So, this was very close to me, it's a feeling I often get when I want to write - but what does it take? I wish I had a bit more experience behind me, but I'll have the time, I'm sure.
Thank you
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
i was just sharing part of my journey, one writer to another. you are welcome.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
G'day,
I'm here to do a critique for:
I hope you find this both interesting and informative. And I hope you weren't waiting too long for it.
Critique:
Fickle is secretly a very interesting word. The word 'fickle' made me want to read this, the word 'fickle' delivered like a physical punch at the end made me want to read it again. But beyond a wonderfully wicked taste in word choice, I can see in this piece a writer. And as a writer I can see myself splashed across this page as much as I can see you.
In short: this works.
The layout is artistically messy, impersonates a real page and is a step beyond what most are willing to do to make their work not just readable, but attractive. And, as the string of comments have informed me; people like it enough to read it twice, which is the ultimate goal of a writer. So yes, I do love the way you have dripped the world down the page. It makes what might have been a tangle of thoughts, well, good.
But not great.
Yes, I may be the only person in the world who will say so, but there is something off putting about some of your layout. I think it steams from a shortage in full stops. Especially with this stream of consciousness type of writing you need to keep your ideas separate. Short. Punctual. Obvious. Near the beginning, there is a lapse in those little sentence enders I do so love.
But it is still very good and no doubt has won you a fan or two along the way.
The writing itself is a window into you, disguised as a rant. Me like. It is also a, somewhat refined, stream of consciousness which leads me to wonder; did you use this as a tool to break writer's block? If so, bravo for it is a fantastic writers tool and (I assume this due to the existence of this piece) it worked. I love the crossed out bits; they add depth and use just a hint of the lure of the forbidden to pull the reader in deeper, and as I said before, I love the ending.
But perhaps you should make the last line just a tad larger, for those with eyes not quite as keen as mine.
But most of all, I like the simplicity of your words.
The only thing that I'm getting hung up on here is the line 'like a knife to your skin'. This is a cliche, and a bad one. My advise would be to scrap it.
Overall, I like this. I read it more than once and I always get the hint that I am missing something (again, bravo). Thank you for writing this and keep writing.
Vision: 2.35
Originality: 2
Technique: 4.5
Impact: 3.75
Overall: 3.75 (in stars)
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Thank you very much! Glad just to get more than half the most stars possible!
Now you've brought that line up, it does stick out as horribly cliche...I will think about how I can deal with it. And I do think I went a bit over with the < sub >s for that last line, too.
I'm not arguing against your points at all, but there is a reason behind the lack of full stops, which I, too, love. I wanted to show a flowing piece, yes, but in previous pieces I have been attacked for over-punctuating, and I thought I'd give the opposite a go, and see how I liked it. But I know it's not to everyone's taste, and it's very difficult to please everyone in just one piece.
Thank you for your critique, very insightful.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I get that a lot too: there is no such thing as the perfect piece of writing (which is why I NEVER give five stars) and a lot of that has to do with the fact that everyone likes something just a tad different from everyone else.
Glad you liked it and thanks for placing your work to be critiqued by writers--club.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Very true.
I'm glad to get a response!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
This poem is as good as your other one. You have an uncanny knack for capturing what writing is really about. I <3 your style. The overall message and then the one in the bold is very clever and unique. I also liked how the last line was smaller than the others. I don't really know how to describe it, but something about that just fits.
The only thing I can suggest fixing is that first part where you have a line through three words. Perhaps some spacing or punctuation would help this part flow better. I had to go back and reread it to finally understand. (Although looking back, maybe that was your whole point. That didn't work so you crossed it out)
Other than that, great job! This was an excellent piece!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Hm... I see what you mean; in fact, I'd been thinking just that right after the first time I read through it...but I never remembered to go back and change it... Although, it could manage with maybe commas in between each word to show that it was a forming phrase (which it was - I have the manuscript right in front of me). I will have a think about it.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
I love this poem's overall message, and also the hidden one.
love, love, love!!!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Its not easy to indite metaphors and make them speaks for itself, and when you do Its not easy for them to break words and get the same feelings. Indeed writing is fickle art, writers are fickle artist.
Btw, I really like how you neatly pen down the feelings of each of writers,
-feel the fear as you that blank page,
-pausing before the mark on the paper,
-using wrong in bold after pouring your soul into it, *happens a lot*
-strike through the sentence like a knife to skin.
And how you managed to highlight words, surely holds its charm.
Thank you. (:
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Thank you. Very insightful comment. <3
👍: 0 ⏩: 2
When I first read this, I did not even notice the little line at the end, which ultimately made me chuckle just a bit at my fault. Aside from that, I thought this was a fairly interesting view point you decided to take up. I am impressed by the way you formatted it, how it all descended in a strange rhythm.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1