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Dear N,

I’m sorry. I am so, so sorry for how screwed up you are. And I am so, so sorry that I ever introduced my friends to you.

Because then, maybe, I wouldn’t have broken so much. And maybe, maybe my friends wouldn’t hate me.

But I did, and they do—I really fucked up.

You took your throne and tore us apart.

When I was hurting and angry, you kept poking.

And when I lashed out, it was somehow my fault.

And even though I was broken, depressed, suicidal—I was still a person.

But all you saw was a puppet.

And you kept pushing, prodding…

Until I broke.

You hurt me in ways I never could have imagined, wounded me to my core.

You pitted my friends against me, and shoved Him in my face.

And when I shattered, you sat on your throne.

And watched.

I lost my friends, my sanity, myself to you.

And even though I’ve tried to convince myself that I forgive you,

I can’t.

Description

Dear N,

I’m sorry. I am so, so sorry for how screwed up you are. And I am so, so sorry that I ever introduced my friends to you.

Because then, maybe, I wouldn’t have broken so much. And maybe, maybe my friends wouldn’t hate me.

But I did, and they do—I really fucked up.

You took your throne and tore us apart.

When I was hurting and angry, you kept poking.

And when I lashed out, it was somehow my fault.

And even though I was broken, depressed, suicidal—I was still a person.

But all you saw was a puppet.

And you kept pushing, prodding…

Until I broke.

You hurt me in ways I never could have imagined, wounded me to my core.

You pitted my friends against me, and shoved Him in my face.

And when I shattered, you sat on your throne.

And watched.

I lost my friends, my sanity, myself to you.

And even though I’ve tried to convince myself that I forgive you,

I can’t.