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AGoddessFinch β Anything but this
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Published: 2008-04-29 11:41:47 +0000 UTC; Views: 9502; Favourites: 218; Downloads: 33
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I bleed when you cut me, so I'm emo
I bruise when you hit me, so I'm a loser
I fight back when you scream at me, so I'm a bitch
I scream when you hurt me, so I'm a sinner
I'll burn in hell because fags don't go to heaven
I'm an idiot because when you call for me I turn
I trust you and you lie, so it must be my fault
I don't prostitute myself, so I'm ugly
I'm in love and I'm a whore
Someone makes me happy and I'm not good enough to have them
I don't know your name and you don't know mine
So you'll beat my nameless face 'cause it's your favorite fucking game
And I have to think that someone out there doesn't want it this way
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Comments: 215
Warning: Once you start reading you cant stop.
One day Laura was surfing the internet when suddenly a new tab came up. Laura was confused because she didint click on a new tab. She clicked on it out of curiosity. There was nothing on it but a black screen. Her mouse seem to dissapear as well. So laura tried to turn her computer off and on assuming that it was broken. But it would not turn off. Suddenly a picture of her mother popped up on the computer screen. Then the pictures eyes started bleeding. The more she looked at it, the scarier it got. Then the room filled with a high pitched noise. Laura tried leaving her room but the door would not budge. The noise grew louder and louder until Laura coudnt take it anymore. Her dead body was found on the floor when her dad came home from work. Copy and paste this to atleast 10 plz accounts or you shall suffer the same fate as Laura. Dont beleive me?
Case #1 Cindy:
She saw this and refused to do it. BIG MISTAKE. One day she was swimming and she bit by 2 sharks. She is now in the hospital recovering.
Case #2 Brian:
He only copyed and pasted this to 5 plz accounts thinking that he would be safe. He thought wrong. When he went to look in the mirror, he saw a demonic barney. He was so scared that he fainted.
Case#3 Kimi:
Kimi obeyed this messege. One day she was walking down the street and she found a million dollar bill. She now lives a rich and happy life.
So basicly its like this:
No plz account-you will have the most painful moment of your life
0-5 accounts: you will have the scare of your life
10 and up: you will have the happiest moment of your life
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This doesn't rhyme, has no meter, isn't free verse...
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Nope. It's just whining.
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And by extension: I give critique, therefore I'm a flamer. Or "we", if you will.
Plus, this is pretty much teenage angst and that's all. It doesn't have meter or verse, so it really isn't poetry. It's prose in a smaller column. Granted, I can tell you tried to make it meaningful and deep, and it was for some people. Good on you for that. But it's essentially just angst.
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I can empathise. I'm fat, ugly, I'm socially retarded, I refuse to conform to the sexual shit that this world pushes at us, I was beaten up for a long time at schools, and I know you don't want my pity, all you want is for someone to care that it's happening.
For the record, I am a Christian, and won't have sex before marriage, which makes me a prude by default. And I'm sorry, for stupid "christians" who persecute people who are gay, and for people who even go so far as to actively tell gay people that they're going to "burn in hell". Maybe you won't read this, maybe no one will. Maybe you won't care, maybe you'll report this as spam, maybe you'll read this and feel better, maybe you'll read this and hate me. But at least I'll know that I tried to make the world a little better.
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i like this 'cause i relate to it *nod nod* why do people have to be so calous...
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I'm not sure if this is supposed to be a poem or not. It's in the "poetry" category, but I dunno. I think you're trying to pull the wool over our eyes here. You sneaky thing you.
What this honestly sounds like to me is a thirteen-year-old girl who just broke up with her boyfriend, or is distraught because her Mommy and Daddy said she can't date a boy because he's a bad influence and she's too young, and is SO emotionally distressed that she can't think of a better way to let out all that negative energy than to write out some emo nonsense and then post it on the internet so she can get her ass patted by people who think she's a "great writer". This is NOT great writing. This is something any preteen girl can pump out any day of the week. There's nothing here that stands out or attracts anyone's attention, there's no subtext, no flow, nothing. It's just whiny and unattractive. How you managed to get so many compliments is anyone's guess.
Now I've never honestly been a supporter of free verse poetry; in my mind, if it doesn't rhyme and has no rhythm, it can't be considered a poem. It's prose. Poetry follows certain rules, and contains things like meter and rhythm and other patters. This does not. This is just a load of bullshit. It doesn't even sound ARTSY.
Honestly, I'm trying really hard to find a compliment somewhere in all this, because I don't particularly like to just bash someone unless they REALLY piss me off about something, but I really and truly can't think of anything nice to say about what you've written here. It was a cute attempt at writing something deep and meaningful, if nothing else. I'm assuming the goal here was to display something deep and meaningful, and I'm sure you had the intention to do so, but what I read was neither of those things. It was whiny and superficial. My advice? Scrap this.
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This made me LOL so hard. ILY.
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Don't underestimate preteen girls. >8/ And if you're just here to splash bile all over the internet, then you must not have enough to do. Go clean your house.
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I'm sorry, who are you? And what makes you think my house is dirty? I happen to know I keep my house (dorm, technically) quite clean. I pass all my inspections and everything.
And I hardly see how I'm splashing bile on the internet. The internet isn't even something one can splash bile on, really. I could splash bile onto my COMPUTER, I suppose, but I don't see what the purpose of that would exactly be. Why would I want ANY sort of digestive fluids on my computer? That just sounds silly.
Ohhhh, wait wait. Was this supposed to be some kind of witty retort to what I said about this "poem" AGoddessFinch wrote? Well, see, your comments make MUCH more sense to me in THAT context! Okay! I get it now! Yes, of course!
Sadly, you still sound stupid. Sorry. But at least I know why, now.
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Well, since you apologized (even if it was about as wholesome and sincere as a politician) I think that's worth at least something (The bile thing was a metaphor, by the way). I know I probably sound as if I'm spewing the whole "everyone is a bright and special star in their own way" idealism, at least to you, but comments such as the one you left can really hurt, even if you've never met the writer in person or if the work itself is indeed a bucket of crap. Please keep in mind that your negativity isn't helping anyone.
I also must apologize; I'm sure your dorm or wherever you hang your hat is certainly in splendid condition and it would be truly insulting to the residence for me to have implied that it was dirty. Your bitter sarcasm and literal-mindedness, however, are greatly appreciated. 
P.S. How exactly do you find me stupid?
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Quite frankly, I find the whole "everyone is a bright and shining star in their own way" ideology you claim you aren't spewing stupid. Being special is fine, but that still doesn't mean you aren't going to generate a lot of crap in the process.
I didn't say her poetry as a whole was bad. I didn't say she was a bad person. I said this poem sucks. And it does. There's no getting around that. Now if I were to go through and mindlessly bash everything she's ever written and tell her to just give up on life she's not doing herself any favors I can see where someone might take offense. But I didn't. I said this poem - the one right up there - sucks. And it does.
And it was the way you came off to me that made you sound like an idiot "Don't underestimate preteen girls." Why shouldn't I? I was one, I know they're a bunch of whiny morons. So are teenagers. Hell, so are most adults. "And if you're just here to splash bile all over the internet, then you must not have enough to do. Go clean your house." Was that supposed to insult me? Because it didn't. All it did was make me assume that you're younger than you actually are (or hell, maybe I was just giving you too much credit to begin with) and get off on defending ~AGoddessFinch from big scary baddies like me, because she shouldn't have to listen to my metaphoric "bile".
But this isn't about you. I don't even know who you are, nor do I care. Finch took a risk posting her shit on the web (and I say shit to be synonymous with "stuff" I'm not just assuming all her work is crappy, so you can set that argument aside for someone else) and she should know that with posting on dA comes great responsibility. Not everyone is going to like her work. Not everyone is going to think she's "deep" or "tormented". In fact, we're all probably going to think she's just a whiny bitch because we are fickle, cynical creatures here on the internet. If she can't handle it, she can kindly GTFO.
But obviously it doesn't seem to be bothering her too much that I don't like her poem. She's not the one complaining. You are.
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I have never written with the intent to insult you, and I apologize if it came across that way. You, however, have persisted in insulting me, both in your tone and the words you use. Swearing implies disrespect to both yourself and to whoever you are addressing, although on the other hand, this is a free country and I certainly can't tell you what to say and how to say it.
You have a point, however. This isn't about me, but neither is it about her poem: I addressed you on the point of your response to her work, which was indisputably insulting. You can honestly do better, I'm sure. Try something a bit more constructive next time. This leads us to your assertion that dA is a steaming pile of fickle cynicism, which I seriously doubt. If you don't like someone's work, the best thing you can do, for anyone, including yourself, is to reply in a respectful and productive manner. Try to point out how she can improve, maybe, instead of merely calling her a whiny bitch whose work "sucks".
Also, another good point of yours: Since ~AGoddessFinch is, as you pointed out, apparently indifferent to this sort of thing, I really am just wasting my time, aren't I? Since there's not much I can do about your apparent misanthropy and overwhelming negativity, I might as well leave you alone and take my goody-two-shoes ranting with me
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Long as you don't take it out of proportion, not bad.
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I'm sorry AGoddessFinch, I agree with a lot of what SuperDisser said. Though my experience lies in writing more than poetry.
However, I think that keeping the poem simple was a bold choice. Though I have no idea if you picked a style like this on purpose or because you lack a wide vocabulary, I myself am getting sick of pretentious emo prose filled with archaic shit no one uses anymore in a sad attempt to be different or edgy. At least you didn't seem that way.
Though you are kinda eeeeemmmmoooo from what I've heard and read from others, I don't think this poem deserves the insane backlash it received. I think it is average, but that is just my opinion.
Overall I think this piece is OK, but that's just me. As you can see from the faves, there are plenty of people who appreciate it, so my opinion may not matter.
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Hmm there's no real clever wordplay and from what I've read it doesn't rhyme so... the rhyming part I really don't mind I can get over however the lack of real wordplay or essence or portrayal of contracting feeling in this poem is very amateurish and more the ramblings of a teenager (I have no idea what your age is) than an actual experience poet. Now I don't really have as large as a background in Poetry as I'd wish (I mainly focus in painting and digital art) however I still like to think of my self being well versed in poetry.
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Okay (cracks fingers)
Had you considered at any point in this that she intentionally used no wordplay, and no rhyme, because she wanted to get it over in a way that was raw, and real, not some jumped up "creative" poetry that would look good but not mean jack shit?
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Ha! See, I'm not the only one who thought so! Brilliant!
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straight to the point and telling it as it is.
I like that 
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that sure gores the same for me. but to feel all this sin and sadness and pain means you truly are alive... Fight back if you must.. but the correct way. BEAT THEM WITH INTELICTUAL THINGS!!! its wat i doo!
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..... I have nothing against people who choose to think this way. So long as they know that they CHOOSE it, and don't think that they can't help it. Everyone has times they feel like this though, I think.
--
I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not
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to all the people here who tear this poem apart just because finch wants to express herself in poetry cause a load of shit happened to her.why don't you go waste time somewhere else. if you could write something better. I'd like to see it. so what if it says that someone cuts her, or hits her so she bleeds and shes a loser. that in no way says shes emo. or wants attention in fact a little thing on "emos" emo is not cutting your wrist or hating the world it is in fact a genre. so when you talk about being emo learn what it is. and why should she remove line 5. cause your all babys and can't stand for someone to say faggot or fags cause "god" doesn't like it well if he doesn't like it why does he make them? so magatoon, shinateku, and everyone else who needs to dissect this beautiful poem go waste someone elses time.
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"...a load of shit happened to her."- Parents would not buy her new MCR album in actuality.
"if you could write something better. I'd like to see it."- 'pretty-death-coud' will not be sure what to do when she actually receives poems written by people with no poetry skills whatsoever, and they're better.
"so what if it says that someone cuts her (1), or hits her so she bleeds (2) and shes a loser (3). that in no way says she's emo (4)."- (1) got a paper cut in school; go home and write poetry about it. (2) Got hit with foam ball in PE; go home and write poetry about it. (3) Cry moar.
"...a little thing on "emos" emo is not cutting your wrist or hating the world it is in fact a genre. so when you talk about being emo learn what it is."- Indirect way of defending self after feeling butthurt from emo hating comments. Actually saying; 'OMG STFU UP GUYS UR SO STUPID YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IM LIKE'
"and why should she remove line 5. cause your all babys and can't stand for someone to say faggot or fags cause "god" doesn't like it well if he doesn't like it why does he make them?"- you are the stupidest person I've ever met. High five.
"so magatoon, shinateku, and everyone else who needs to dissect this beautiful poem go waste someone elses time."- Truethful Critiques= omg trolls. Honest opinions= "OMG PEOPLE ARENT ALOUD TO HAVE A DIFFERENT OPINION THAN ME". 'Beautiful'= No.
Overall analyses: "OMG BEST POEM EVARRRR"
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Im obviously not trying to troll here, but this poem is screaming
"OMG PLZ TELL ME IM SO PRETTI !!!23$!!! IM SO EMO COZ NOONE LUVS ME ): ): GIVE
MEE ATTNETION!!!!", attention whore.
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"Tell me I'm so pretty"? There's not even a picture there or any description of me. :/
And yes, I know it's awful. Why in God's name it got the attention it did is beyond me.
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Thats not what i mean.
And well, you can thank ED for all the attention it got.
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/highfive
You know right!
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People are cruel and close minded. You shouldn't pay attention to anyone. Move to your own rhythm and block out everyone else.
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