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Description
My whole life is a lie. A sham. A mask to guide me through the emotions of the living. More importantly, to hide my one true self. On the outside I am ambitious, motivated and hyperactive. On the inside I am lonely, confused and wishing to be free. I am a complete wreck.

My mind. My soul. My sanity. My heart.

They are all broken. Broken like shards of glass on a sunny morning. I can’t seem to pick up all the shining prismatic pieces. No matter how hard I try, their always remains pieces on the floor.

All I do is hide.

In the inner recesses of my mind, the lie takes over. The mask, as always, slips so easily on. It is a repetitive tune, that rings in my ears. The same old melody, the same old song with the same old notes. Over and over without end.

My true self is hiding.

This true self is a jumble of these notes. Shoved together with a disarray of sharps and flats shoved together in a fake harmony. It plays without rhythm, it’s just a senseless noise. An irritating sound that should be switched off.

Turn down the volume.

Every time I start to hear the Classique Piano, I turn up my synthesiser trying my best to drown out the noise. I don’t want to hear myself play that stupid song of sadness. I want to keep pretending, I want to continue this happiness and forget the sadness.

Run, run away.

The synthesiser covers up the Classique’s mistake, hides my true self perfectly. But why go through so much trouble to hide my one true self? Because if anyone ever watched my true self’s concert they would find out my secrets. Discover who I am and then…

Where would I hide?

So I go through these emotions. Faking every single one of them but understanding none of them. I live the lie, I keep myself on the inside. I disregard those songs on the inside, squashing them down, down, down each time I hear it.

The happiness forever lasting

I smile, I laugh. “I’m fine, what about you? You don’t seem happy.” “Well Akiya, you see, here’s what’s happening….” I lie while you tell the truth. You say you admire my strength, to be able to smile when the world throws its worst. But I admire you for being able to cry. For I’ve forgotten how, so instead I smile.

The lie

But none of that happiness is real. It’s all just a lie, a fake, a sham. A synthesised simulation to get me through life. I wish I could stop. I wish IT could stop. I wish I could cry. But it’s been so long. I can’t remember how. This I regret more than my synthesised harmony.

Why?

Because my whole life is synthetic.

Description
My whole life is a lie. A sham. A mask to guide me through the emotions of the living. More importantly, to hide my one true self. On the outside I am ambitious, motivated and hyperactive. On the inside I am lonely, confused and wishing to be free. I am a complete wreck.

My mind. My soul. My sanity. My heart.

They are all broken. Broken like shards of glass on a sunny morning. I can’t seem to pick up all the shining prismatic pieces. No matter how hard I try, their always remains pieces on the floor.

All I do is hide.

In the inner recesses of my mind, the lie takes over. The mask, as always, slips so easily on. It is a repetitive tune, that rings in my ears. The same old melody, the same old song with the same old notes. Over and over without end.

My true self is hiding.

This true self is a jumble of these notes. Shoved together with a disarray of sharps and flats shoved together in a fake harmony. It plays without rhythm, it’s just a senseless noise. An irritating sound that should be switched off.

Turn down the volume.

Every time I start to hear the Classique Piano, I turn up my synthesiser trying my best to drown out the noise. I don’t want to hear myself play that stupid song of sadness. I want to keep pretending, I want to continue this happiness and forget the sadness.

Run, run away.

The synthesiser covers up the Classique’s mistake, hides my true self perfectly. But why go through so much trouble to hide my one true self? Because if anyone ever watched my true self’s concert they would find out my secrets. Discover who I am and then…

Where would I hide?

So I go through these emotions. Faking every single one of them but understanding none of them. I live the lie, I keep myself on the inside. I disregard those songs on the inside, squashing them down, down, down each time I hear it.

The happiness forever lasting

I smile, I laugh. “I’m fine, what about you? You don’t seem happy.” “Well Akiya, you see, here’s what’s happening….” I lie while you tell the truth. You say you admire my strength, to be able to smile when the world throws its worst. But I admire you for being able to cry. For I’ve forgotten how, so instead I smile.

The lie

But none of that happiness is real. It’s all just a lie, a fake, a sham. A synthesised simulation to get me through life. I wish I could stop. I wish IT could stop. I wish I could cry. But it’s been so long. I can’t remember how. This I regret more than my synthesised harmony.

Why?

Because my whole life is synthetic.