Comments: 25
SirBret [2009-12-24 11:19:18 +0000 UTC]
Overall
Vision
Originality
Technique
Impact
Certainly one of the better pieces I've read on dA, I was as intrigued by it as I am by some of my favourite authors. I particularly enjoy your technique of starting halfway through a conversation. Long introductions do not hold as much interest for me, and to begin so boldly, especially with such an obscure story is commendable in my books.
One difficulty with the piece is clarity. Upon first reading, it is difficult to distinguish between who is whom, especially since I have approached this story with little knowledge of Rossetti. After reading a wiki on him, it appears to make more sense. I don't condone creating complicated, outer-referential pieces - I enjoy them - but it would help to clarify the initial distinction between Henry and Gabriel somehow. How you do that is up to you, I suppose!
The last stanza wasn't as impactive as I thought it might be, considering the brilliant dramatic monologue throughout 1 and 2. Perhaps rounding it off with a nice two-line statement would make this poem appear to be more complete.
And finally, consistency with speech marks - especially in part 1. You may need to just check it over, as this may have been the source of my confusion over the narrative voice.
What I do like about this piece is that the reader has to work their brain in order to understand it, and that it is based around a key point in Rossetti's life. It's almost an homage to Rossetti, at least indirectly, and I am glad you wrote it - I enjoyed it very much.
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AlecBell In reply to SirBret [2009-12-24 12:53:30 +0000 UTC]
Thank you very much.
It probaly reads easier if you have read The Death Of Lizzie Sindal and Beatrice Beata. The poems form a chronological sequence.
I often use anti climactic endings, feeling that they are (in narrative subjects such as these) closer to lived experience.
I shall look again at the quatation marks.
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SirBret In reply to AlecBell [2009-12-25 16:17:35 +0000 UTC]
Since the poem is part of a chronological set, it makes more sense to have an anti-climatic ending to this one - I read them all through and thoroughly enjoyed them.
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AlecBell In reply to SirBret [2009-12-26 00:39:26 +0000 UTC]
Thank you. There are still two more tocome!
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SirBret In reply to AlecBell [2009-12-29 12:49:07 +0000 UTC]
I look forward to them! Now I have some good literature to follow on dA, that makes me happy.
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AlecBell In reply to SirBret [2009-12-29 21:07:14 +0000 UTC]
I shall do best to ensure you are not disappointed.
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melodythelittlepony [2010-01-03 10:42:35 +0000 UTC]
What an appalling, frightening thought... What a sacrifice! To disturb the body of the one he loved, after all that had passed, to retrieve the poems, at the persuasion of another.
You've captured Rossetti's feelings perfectly, I think. It was an exhilarating read.
The whole strange scenario could be something from 'Wuthering Heights'!
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AlecBell In reply to melodythelittlepony [2010-01-03 18:07:19 +0000 UTC]
It is more like fiction that wht we imagine real life to consist of, but so thoroughly documented!!!
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YouInventedMe [2009-12-29 05:33:17 +0000 UTC]
the ending is my favorite part. thanks for the links to the previous parts, it definitely helps the reading.
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AlecBell In reply to YouInventedMe [2009-12-29 08:38:44 +0000 UTC]
Pleased you enjoyed them, Shane.
There were will be more to come (There were two more women in Rossetti's life.)
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TriciaS [2009-12-28 18:18:40 +0000 UTC]
As I love Pre- Raphaelite art I read your poem and then read the 1st and 2nd poems....I found them all totally riveting! They were so beautifully written.....and so sad!
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AlecBell In reply to TriciaS [2009-12-28 22:05:05 +0000 UTC]
Thank you.
It might have seemed to Rossetti (sometimes, at least.) that his art really could transcend the reality he held in such contempt.
But his dream world seems to have been too insubstantial to embody any thing but a pale form of hope.
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TriciaS In reply to AlecBell [2009-12-29 15:04:33 +0000 UTC]
Are most poets dreamers,do you think?
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AlecBell In reply to TriciaS [2009-12-29 21:05:56 +0000 UTC]
Dreaming is an essential ingredient in creativity.
Some dreamers are better able than others, perhaps, to negotiate between private fantasy and intersubjective reality.
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spoems [2009-12-28 05:58:10 +0000 UTC]
so fascinating! you really have expanded my poetic sensibilities, Alec. thanks for always sharing your best.
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AlecBell In reply to spoems [2009-12-28 12:31:21 +0000 UTC]
Thanks for more of your ever-generous comments, Shane.
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MistakenMagic [2009-12-27 20:43:41 +0000 UTC]
Love the structure of this one Alec!
Erin xxx
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Satah [2009-12-27 09:05:24 +0000 UTC]
ah, i adore those last two lines (:
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AlecBell In reply to Satah [2009-12-28 12:30:02 +0000 UTC]
Thank you, Satah.
There will be more soon (ish)
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