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Alien--Kitty — Destiny
Published: 2006-12-19 05:54:14 +0000 UTC; Views: 158; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 1
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Description
unstopable forceset like a gun
masterless, destructive
but like the sun
it rises and falls
and nothing can stop
destiny changes
it changes a lot
it catches us all
we can never escape
deluding ourselves
we fall on our face
its only fear
is to be found to be wrong
and so its nature
is quite convoluted and long
its words are vague
its answers unclear
ask a direct question
and it seems not to hear
so while destiny waits
to be shown without flaw
the path it does widen
a blanketing law
a prediction so narrow
or so very huge
that what really happens
is up to you to chose
so why don't you do well
and then when you're done
if you turn around
tuns out he's the one
who's taking the credit
and making the claim
that he was right once
and he did it again
for destiny, they say
is always right
and rather than argue
you turn of the lights
and destiny's a fool
who you let play
and you notice he's shalllow
till you wake up next day...
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Comments: 15
It holds such briliants.
You are a magnificent poet, I'm in awe.
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your destiny
is always in you hands
it changes as you change
one thought at a time
you decide
right or wrong
good or bad
true or false
for you each day
a new day begins
a clean slate is given
for you to decide
what goes in
and what goes out
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a fool does not know this
and so places his lot in the hands of others
but as his day wears on he learns
and as he learns he is a fool no longer.
and so while others place his lot as destiny's boon
he knows 'twas he who made his own room
and so it is
till he forgets
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but; you sir are no fool;
you choose to learn,
you make your bed,
you dust your floor,
you clean your clothes,
now; you are ready
to greet this new day.
with a smile of hope;
with joy in yourself,
with courage on your mind,
and love in your heart.
what a grand new day
for you to enjoy;
a present just for you
is ready to be opened.
so; choose wisely
and take care
for you sir are
choosing
not to be a fool.
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I like the subject matter, and the rhymes are good, but the rythem could use some work.
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most definately, but I was concentrating on making it flow from stanza to stanza more than the rythym. I came up with the irst two stanzas and then the last and had to quickly bridge the gap before I forgot the last stanza 
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just cause it works doesn't make it a good excuse
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Yah...I noticed the pattern ^^ <--*feels accomplished*
Very nice poem...I like it a lot. Nyeh...wish I could say more @_@;;
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^^
is ok
thanks for the compliment^^
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