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Vent about my younger brother

Most of y'all probably don't know but I have a little brother. Well....I guess "had" is more appropriate, but.....you'll understand.

When I was seven, my younger brother passed away. He was five years old. The cause of his death has always been a bit of a mystery, all I know is that he drowned while my mother was traveling with him to our grandparents house to pick up me and my older brother. I've spent hours looking for any kind of report on his death, but it was in Florida, and according to my dad drownings are normal and wouldn't have warranted an official police report. Still, it's odd that I can't find anything on him.

Put on your tin foil hats, but to this day I still believe my mother played a part in his death. The story she gave me was, while she was in her hotel room with Thomas she went to use the restroom, and he snuck out and managed to get to the pool and tried to go swimming. From what I remember, Thomas wasn't that kind of kid. He very religiously followed what our mother told him or us, and he wouldn't have snuck out. Plus, how could he have gotten that far? How did no adult stop him? How did my mother not hear the front door open? So many questions, no answers.

This is also fueled by the fact that my mother never exhibited sorrow because of his death. On the day I was told what happened, my mother and her boyfriend were very much acting like it was any other day. She didn't just flat out tell me what happened, but let me ask where he was all day until she finally sat me down and told me and my brother what happened.

My memory on this event is foggy, but I'm sure BlazinAlicorn can provide more insight into this and give some feedback.

I think about Thomas a lot. Where he'd be right now if he were still alive. Where I'd be if he were still alive. Still living with my mother, probably, if I wasn't already dead. My mother was extremely physically abusive towards me and my brothers when we were younger, so I wouldn't doubt that if I'd stayed with her she would've probably killed me.

I don't believe in an afterlife, but when I think of my younger brother, I pray that there is one. I want to believe I'll see him again, that I'll be able to hold him again, but I know I never will. More than a decade has passed and I'm still missing him. Nobody deserves to be forgotten.

Description

Vent about my younger brother

Most of y'all probably don't know but I have a little brother. Well....I guess "had" is more appropriate, but.....you'll understand.

When I was seven, my younger brother passed away. He was five years old. The cause of his death has always been a bit of a mystery, all I know is that he drowned while my mother was traveling with him to our grandparents house to pick up me and my older brother. I've spent hours looking for any kind of report on his death, but it was in Florida, and according to my dad drownings are normal and wouldn't have warranted an official police report. Still, it's odd that I can't find anything on him.

Put on your tin foil hats, but to this day I still believe my mother played a part in his death. The story she gave me was, while she was in her hotel room with Thomas she went to use the restroom, and he snuck out and managed to get to the pool and tried to go swimming. From what I remember, Thomas wasn't that kind of kid. He very religiously followed what our mother told him or us, and he wouldn't have snuck out. Plus, how could he have gotten that far? How did no adult stop him? How did my mother not hear the front door open? So many questions, no answers.

This is also fueled by the fact that my mother never exhibited sorrow because of his death. On the day I was told what happened, my mother and her boyfriend were very much acting like it was any other day. She didn't just flat out tell me what happened, but let me ask where he was all day until she finally sat me down and told me and my brother what happened.

My memory on this event is foggy, but I'm sure BlazinAlicorn can provide more insight into this and give some feedback.

I think about Thomas a lot. Where he'd be right now if he were still alive. Where I'd be if he were still alive. Still living with my mother, probably, if I wasn't already dead. My mother was extremely physically abusive towards me and my brothers when we were younger, so I wouldn't doubt that if I'd stayed with her she would've probably killed me.

I don't believe in an afterlife, but when I think of my younger brother, I pray that there is one. I want to believe I'll see him again, that I'll be able to hold him again, but I know I never will. More than a decade has passed and I'm still missing him. Nobody deserves to be forgotten.