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ALostMind — Angel
Published: 2009-02-03 21:55:56 +0000 UTC; Views: 117; Favourites: 4; Downloads: 1
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Description Angel

Cast down from the skies.
All love in my heart slowly dies.
Let me fall all the way down.
Until I hit the cold ground.

I lay there, as he took me apart.
He tore my wings, and made me hurt.
He took me apart, and made me human.
I was cast down from the skies.

I was unclothed, and left to die.
But there was a voice I heard, who’s  I did not recall.
“You were cast down by Him, but I Will take you in”
“Will you give it all up; just to be a symbol of God.”

I said yes, and so he rebuilt me part and part.
But this time it hurt, and the feeling wasn’t pure.
I was blooded, and looked at my wings, they were not white as snow, but black as the ash in the Hells.
I looked in the mirror, but the face in it I can not recall.
My eyes were red, and my teeth to sharp and my face scarred.

“What have you done,” I yelled.
The sinister voice said, “I have made you what you wanted to be,
But you are not the servant of Him, but a servant to Me.
You are an angel, just not His kind.
You are dark, and evil, a sign for the sickened, you are an angel of Mine.”
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Comments: 8

phillGH [2009-02-03 23:40:37 +0000 UTC]

the flow in this changed a lot.....might need a bit of work and the "cast down" line was used a bit much

otherwise pretty win

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

ALostMind In reply to phillGH [2009-02-04 00:23:04 +0000 UTC]

Its a narrative, its not really flowy...

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phillGH In reply to ALostMind [2009-02-04 00:49:46 +0000 UTC]

but it started flowy...then went unflowy then back to flowy

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ALostMind In reply to phillGH [2009-02-04 01:20:40 +0000 UTC]

Shh.... I know i guess i went from poem to writing to poem. i unno all i know is that i like it ^^

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phillGH In reply to ALostMind [2009-02-04 02:25:21 +0000 UTC]

it does work...but i'd recomend just keeping the same beat throughout the whole thing unless
you change styles halfway through it

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B00KAH0LIC [2009-02-03 22:27:16 +0000 UTC]

It's really nice! I love this kind of poem. ^^
I love Evil Angel! Great song.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

ALostMind In reply to B00KAH0LIC [2009-02-03 22:31:14 +0000 UTC]

Thank You I love it too Its amazing

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B00KAH0LIC In reply to ALostMind [2009-02-03 22:49:12 +0000 UTC]

Welcome! ^^
Yup! I think I should go listen to Breaking Benjamin, I haven't in a pretty long time.

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