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Truth or Dare?

Thirteen-year old Isabella Garcia-Shapiro skipped up to the worn wooden gate that separated the driveway from the Flynn-Fletcher backyard. She paused for a moment to adjust the pink ribbon tied around her raven braids before reaching over and flicking the rusted latch up. “Hey, guys!” She greeted, flashing an adorable smile at her redheaded crush. “Whatcha doin?”
“Nothing.” Phineas answered, flicking his head to give a smile of greeting to the girl.
Isabella frowned slightly, closing the gate behind her. “Nothing?” She repeated, a bit dubious. It wasn’t very often Phineas answered her catchphrase with nothing. She cast a glance at his brother, who was lounging against the trunk of their sacred tree with his eyes closed. It seemed Ferb was as content to do nothing as Phineas was.
“Sure. We haven’t had a ‘do nothing’ day in a while.” Phineas explained. “Sometimes it’s good to just take it easy, you know?”
“Well, I guess I have been feeling a bit wiped out.” Isabella admitted, her aching bones agreeing with her statement. Building backyard amusement parks really took a lot of effort.
“See? Today’s the perfect day to just relax!” Phineas threw his arms out, drinking in the warm sun and gentle summer breeze. “Come on, have a seat.”
Isabella walked over to the giant tree trunk and slid in-between Phineas and Ferb. The green-haired boy finally opened his eyes and nodded at the girl in greeting. Isabella giggled. “It’s about time you acknowledged me.”
Ferb smiled slightly and shrugged in response. He had not changed much in the past few years (none of them had, really) and was still a man of action rather than words.
His shrug had barely been completed when the gate slammed open and Buford entered with Baljeet stumbling behind him. “Alright, Buford’s here! The action can begin.”
Isabella rolled her eyes. “Why, thank you Buford, for giving us your permission.” She said sarcastically. “But for your information, today is a ‘do nothing’ day.”
Buford wrinkled his nose. “We’re gonna do nothing all day?”
“That is what a ‘do nothing’ day is, Buford.” Baljeet pointed out, going over to take a seat on the other side of Ferb. “And it is the perfect day for relaxing.”
The burly boy snorted, reluctantly sinking into the soft grass in front of his friends. “It’s also the perfect day for going on a road-trip through space.” He muttered.
Phineas mulled this over for a moment before brightening. “Hey, that’s a good one. Ferb, put that on the agenda.”
Ferb nodded and removed a pen and notebook from his shirt pocket. “Oh, how come my suggestion to go to the world’s largest museum of math a few days ago was not written into the agenda?” Baljeet asked indigently.
Buford’s response was to yank a handful of grass from the ground and chuck it into the Indian’s boy face. Isabella rolled her eyes and gave a proper answer. “As much as most of us like math, we don’t like it enough to visit a museum dedicated entirely to the subject.”
“Thank you, for giving me an actual response.” Baljeet said, brushing the blades of grass from his clothing and shooting a glare at the bully.
A few minutes passed, and the group of five sat in silence. At first, it was peaceful, just sitting around and chilling out. But after fifteen minutes, Buford started to get a bit restless. This was unsurprising, as the bully couldn’t sit still for very long. “I’m bored,” he declared.
“Me too,” Isabella admitted, sitting up and hugging her knees to her chest. “I mean, it’s cool we’re all together and taking it easy, but I want to do something. Not a big something, just a little something.”
“Well, what do you guys want to do?” Phineas asked, more than willing to go along with whatever his friends had planned.
Ferb shrugged and Baljeet and Buford copied his movement. Isabella tapped a finger against her chin as she tried to think of an activity that would be fun but not a lot of work. After a moment she brightened, a sly grin crossing her features.
“I don’t like when she gets that look,” Buford whispered to Baljeet.
“That is only because she gets that look when she has decided to do something to you.” Baljeet whispered back, causing the bully to gulp with apprehension.
“I got it!” Isabella exclaimed. “How about truth or dare?”
Phineas beamed. “Hey, yeah! That’s a great one! We’ve never played truth or dare together before.”
“Oh, dear. This should be interesting.” Ferb muttered. Isabella agreed, for she had played truth or dare multiple times with her Fireside Girls troop, but never with her main crowd (which happened to be all boys).
“Can I go first?” Isabella asked eagerly, shooting a smirk at the worried bully.
“Sure,” Phineas nodded. “It was your idea.”
“Yay! Okay, Buford. Truth or dare?”
Buford weighed his options. He didn’t think he had anything embarrassing to spill if he chose truth, and that seemed to be the safer option at the moment. “Truth.”
Isabella leaned forward, her eyes shining. “Who do you have a crush on?”
Buford cursed inwardly. He was, by nature, not a man who discussed such things. He should have figured Isabella, being the girl that she was, would want to know. And he very well couldn’t lie, as he was a man of his word and in agreeing to play he promised to tell the truth. “I’m gonna kill you, Princess.”
“Who?” Isabella demanded.
“Milly.” Buford grumbled under his breath.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that.” Isabella turned her head slightly and cupped her hand over her ear.
“Milly!” Buford snapped, his face burning only slightly.
Isabella squealed and clapped her hands. “Oh, I knew it!”
“You did?” Phineas asked, more than a little surprised that the rough-and-tough bully would have crush on the petite sweetheart. “How?”
“Woman’s intuition,” she said airily, a wide grin on her face. “Aw, that is so cute!”
“You better not say anything to her!” Buford warned. “Or else!”
“Or else what?” Isabella challenged. “Buford and Milly, sittin’ in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G!”
Baljeet pressed his fist against his mouth, trying in vain to quell his laughter as Buford’s face turned purple. Phineas and Ferb were giggling madly and Isabella was making kissing sounds with her mouth.
“You guys all suck,” Buford snapped, a scowl on his face. “Baljeet, truth or dare?”
Baljeet recognized the desperate attempt to move on and decided to go with it. “Truth.”
“Did you use to have crush on Isabella?”
Now it was Baljeet’s turn to go red. He stared at the grass, his face flaming. “Yes,” he admitted. “But not anymore!”
Although Isabella had had a suspicion Baljeet liked her, it was a bit uncomfortable hearing him confirm it. It was, on the other hand, comforting to know that he didn’t like her that way anymore (which she strongly suspected was because of her fellow Fireside Girl Ginger). “I think it’s cute that he used to like me.” Isabella said, wanting to make Baljeet feel better.
It worked, and the Indian boy glanced up with a small smile on his lips. Phineas was completely bewildered. “Wait, you used to like Isabella?” He asked. “When was this?”
“Four years ago.” Baljeet answered.
For a moment, Isabella’s heart soared, thinking that Phineas may have been a teensy bit jealous over Baljeet’s confession. Instead, all he did was adopt a thoughtful look and nod. “Huh. I can’t believe I missed that one.”
Isabella gaped and Ferb let out a snort. Baljeet giggled at the expression on the girl’s face. “Okay Phineas, truth or dare?”
Phineas thought for a moment. “Dare,” he decided.
“Okay, um...”Baljeet furrowed his brow in thought. “Put an ice cube down your pants and keep it there until it melts.”
“Good one,” Buford approved.
“Gee, that sounds pleasant.” Phineas joked and got to his sneaker-clad feet. The boy jogged over to the sliding glass doors that separated the kitchen from the backyard and pushed them open. A moment later he returned with small green plastic tray of ice cubes.
“They look cold,” Ferb remarked. Phineas rolled his eyes with good humour and removed a frigid, clear cube from the tray.
“Alright, here goes.” Phineas dropped the ice cube down the front of his shorts.
The reaction was instant.
The ice cube tray flew from Phineas’ hands as he threw his arms into the air with a shriek. The tray smashed against the tree above Ferb’s head and ice cubes rained down on the group, but the split-second shock of cold was nothing compared to what Phineas was experiencing.
“What’s it feel like?” Buford managed to ask through his howls of laughter.
Phineas danced around the yard, his arms waving wildly in the air. “It feels like someone’s freezing my-uh...never mind,” he muttered hastily, remembering that there was a girl present.
Isabella giggled, her face flushing slightly as she caught on to what he had been about to say. “Oh, this is so mean.”
Soon the ice cube was melting slowly into water, causing Phineas to squirm like a three-year old who needed to go to the bathroom. “Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah!” Phineas yelped, bouncing in place and his face twisted with discomfort.
Isabella pressed her hands over her mouth to silence her giggles, but her shaking shoulders gave her away. Ferb was snorting with laughter, his sleek self-designed phone filming everything. “This is so going on the Internet.”
“Stop, stop!” Baljeet howled with laughter, rolling on the grass with his hands holding his stomach. “I am going to pee!”
“My-ha ha ha ha-stomach is-ha ha ha ha-killing me!” Buford choked out, his hands holding his sides.
Finally, the uncomfortable sensation went away and Phineas collapsed beside Ferb, panting heavily. “That is so not going on the Internet.” He managed to wheeze.
Ferb grinned and slipped his phone back into his pocket. “We’ll see,” he said teasingly.
“Fine then.” Phineas smirked. “Ferb, truth or dare?”
Ferb thought for a moment. “Dare.”
“Okay, I dare you to phone Candace and pretend that you are her stalker.”
Baljeet frowned. “But does Candace not have caller ID?”
“Yeah, but Buford got a new phone a few days ago.” Phineas cast the bully a rare sly grin.
“Candace doesn’t have his new number yet, so she won’t know whose calling.”
“She is going to freak out.” Buford remarked, digging his shiny new cell phone out of his pocket and handing it to Ferb. “You know that, right?”
“Don’t put the charade on for too long,” Phineas added, knowing very well what Candace was capable of when she was freaked out. “I don’t want to traumatize her.”
“She sees a talking zebra that calls her Kevin on a frequent basis.” Ferb said dryly, recalling Candace’s confession a few months ago. “I think she may have passed that point.” He dialled the number to Candace’s cell phone and waited for a moment.
“Hello?” Candace answered, a bit hesitantly.
“Hello,” Ferb responded in a gravelly voice, doing his best to mask his accent. Phineas motioned for his brother to put Candace on speaker and he did.
“Uh...I think you might have the wrong number, pal.”
“You’re Candace Gertrude Flynn.”
A beat of silence.
“Yeah,” Candace answered slowly, a note of panic creeping into her voice.“Who are you?”
“Why, I’m surprised you haven’t noticed me following you these past few days.” Ferb said creepily. “The campus of Danville U isn’t that large. I’m sure you’ve felt my eyes staring after you as you walk through the courtyard to class.”
“Who the hell are you?!” Candace demanded, her voice going high pitched.
Phineas clapped his hands over his ears, an expression of genuine shock crossing his face at his sister cursing. Buford pressed his fist against his mouth to quell his laughter and Isabella hastily got up and walked away, unable to control her giggles.
Ferb bit his lip to keep himself from chuckling. “You will know in due time, my dear. I suggest you spend as much time with your precious boyfriend Jeremy Johnson as you can, because soon you won’t be seeing him for much longer.”
“Listen up, you freaking creep! I’ve got your number registered in my phone now and I’m gonna sic the cops on your butt. STACY! Stacy, call the cops! Don’t ask why, just do it! I’ll explain-“
“No, no!” Ferb cried, abandoning the charade upon realizing he had gone a bit too far. “Candace, it’s me! Ferb!”
“Ferb?!” Candace cried, her panicked voice morphing into one of rage.
“Phineas dared me to prank call you!” Ferb explained, ignoring the horrified look Phineas was giving him. “I’m using Buford’s new phone, so that’s why a name didn’t show up on your caller ID. Please don’t call the cops. I don’t think Buford would make it in the slammer.”
“It ain’t my kind of place,” Buford agreed.
“Phineas and Ferb! I am going to kill you! I almost had a heart attack! I thought someone was seriously going to come after me! The next time I come home I’m so gonna tell Mom and you’ll be so bust-Stacy, stop laughing! It’s not funny!”
Ferb hastily apologized before hanging up. He tossed Buford his phone back and the bully shoved it back in his pocket, making a mental note to avoid any calls from Candace for a while.
“That was...interesting.” Phineas said with a sheepish grin. “Oh man, she’s not gonna be happy with us when she comes home next weekend.”
“Thank you for telling us. We will be sure to avoid your residence for all of next weekend.” Baljeet said seriously.
Isabella came back over to the group when she noticed that Ferb was no longer talking on Buford’s cell. “So, how’d it go?” She asked, a grin on her face.
“That depends on who you ask.” Buford laughed. “Baljeet and me enjoyed it very much, but Dinner Bell and Beanpole McGee are in serious trouble with the Redheaded Tornado.”
“Baljeet and I,” Baljeet corrected. “And yes, it was rather amusing.”
Gitchiee Gitchiee Goo means that I love you, Gitchiee Gitchiee Goo means-
The hit single of Phineas and the Ferb-Tones interrupted the group, the music blaring from the small speakers of Phineas’ cell phone. The redhead winced and reluctantly pulled it from his pocket, having a good idea of who was calling. “Yeah, it’s Candace.” He muttered.
“Do not answer it!” Baljeet cried.
“Yeah, you gotta give the girl time to cool off.” Buford agreed. “That’s not gonna happen if you answer and she starts yelling at you.”
“But I’ve never ignored a call from Candace!”
Buford leaned forward and plucked the phone from Phineas’ grasp. He tossed it a few feet away, where it landed harmlessly in the grass near the wooden gate. “There. Problem solved. Game can be resumed. Where were we?”
“It’s Ferb’s turn to ask someone a question.” Isabella said. “Fire away, Ferb.”
“Alright. Isabella, truth or dare?”
“Dare,” Isabella answered instantly, a smile of anticipation crawling across her face.
“I dare you-“
Gitchee Gitchee Goo means that-
“Leave it alone, Dinner Bell!”
Ferb rolled his eyes and spoke a little louder. “I dare you to eat some of Perry’s platypus food.”
“Aw, dude!” Phineas screwed his face up in disgust. “That’s gross!”
“Please. I’ve eaten a grub.” Isabella scoffed and got up, brushing the grass from her jeans and heading for the sliding glass doors. “This will be a piece of cake.”
The girl returned a few seconds later with a teal-coloured bag of platypus food. She dropped down to the grass and pealed the bag open. “Alright boys, here I go.”
And she grabbed a handful of the yellowish food and shoved it in her mouth, chewing rapidly.
“Oh, I’m gonna vomit!” Buford gagged, getting up and running for the bushes lining the backyard. Phineas and Ferb could not help but watch with disgusted awe. Baljeet’s face turned green and he pressed his hands over his mouth, choking back the bile as he watched Isabella swallow the mouthful of food.
Isabella bent to the grass, one hand holding her stomach. “Are you okay?” Phineas asked, concerned.
“Fine,” Isabella managed. “But I think there were bug bits in there.”
“Oh, gross!” Buford groaned. He came back over to the group and dropped to the ground, leaning against the tree trunk. “I can’t believe you didn’t throw that up!”
“Iron stomach.” Isabella smiled victoriously and slapped her belly.
“Okay, no more disgusting dares.” Phineas declared, sitting down beside Isabella.
“Deal,” Isabella agreed. She moved a little closer to Phineas and could not help but smile in contentment at the close proximity. “Alright Baljeet, truth or dare?”
“Truth,” Baljeet decided, still not quite brave enough to take a dare.
“Was it really you who peed in my pool on my pool party for my ninth birthday?”
Baljeet turned brick red from humiliation as the others howled with laughter. “You are a cruel mistress.”
“I just want to know!” Isabella protested. “We were standing in the same spot, and until you answer this question I will continue to believe that it was me.”
Baljeet buried his face in his hands. “Yes,” he moaned. “It was me.”
Isabella slapped her knew. “I thought so! How could you, making me go for so long thinking it was me?”
“What person would admit to something like that?!”
“Okay, okay.” Phineas made a ‘T’ with his hands, managing to stop his giggles. “Relax, Baljeet. We’ve all done some pretty embarrassing things. No one here thinks anything less of you.”
“I’m still re-evaluating my opinion.”
“Shut up, Buford.” Isabella rolled her eyes. “I think Baljeet wants to ask you a question.”
“I do,” Baljeet nodded. “Buford, truth or dare?”
“Dare.”
“I dare you...to let Isabella put makeup on you and you have to leave it on for the rest of the day.”
The Mexican-Jewish girl let out a high-pitched squeal at this. “Oh, this is so great!” She jumped to her feet. “Phineas, do you think it would be okay if I used some of your mom’s makeup?”
“I don’t think she’d mind. She doesn’t use it very often.” Phineas grinned at Buford’s horrified expression. “Go for it.”
“I’m gonna kill you,” Buford growled at the Indian teen. Baljeet grinned nervously and shifted closer to Ferb.
“I do not think it would be wise to attack when I am sitting next to a person who knows the Vulcan Pinch.”
Buford gritted his teeth and glared at the grass. Isabella came running out with a black case. “I wonder if I can get my Beautician patch for this.” She mused, kneeling beside the bully and unzipping the case.
“You better not make me look like a clown,” Buford snapped, eyeing the mascara Isabella wielded warily.
“Trust me,” Isabella smirked slyly. “You’re going to look so pretty-as pretty as you could possibly look, anyway.”
Isabella swiped the wand over Buford’s eyelashes, darkening them to a bold black. She did one more coat to make them really stand out before grabbing an eyeliner pencil. She carefully shaded the skin underneath Buford’s eyes. “Buford, stop wiggling!”
“It tickles!” Buford complained.
“Sit still and it won’t take me as long,” Isabella chided. She finished the eyeliner and removed some bright purple eyeshadow. “Close your eyes.”
Buford obeyed and Isabella dusted a light coat over his eyelids. She studied his face for a moment before slipping the plastic container of eyeshadow back in the case. “A little bit of blush will put some colour into those cheeks. You’re so pale.”
“Family trait,” Buford grunted.
After a moment of deliberation Isabella selected a faint pink colour and applied it to the apples of Buford’s cheeks and a little bit on the end of his nose. “What am I missing?”
“Lipstick,” Ferb sniggered, filming the entire thing with his phone.
“Face glitter!” Baljeet added with a wide smile, enjoying the entire ordeal immensely.
“Hmm...I’m thinking a nice pale pink.” Isabella decided, removing the silver stick and swiping it across Buford’s lips. “Perfect! Now for the face glitter.”
“Do we have to?”
“Yes.” Isabella said firmly. She removed the clear round case and dipped her finger in the gold sparkles. She smoothed them over Buford’s face and smiled in satisfaction at her handiwork.
“Voila!”
“You look very pretty, Buford.” Phineas giggled.
I wish he’d tell me that once in a while. Isabella thought. She zipped the black case up and smirked at Buford. “Yeah, you look gorgeous.”
“Alright, knock it off.” Buford scowled and removed his phone from his pocket (which stated he had six missed calls from Candace demanding that he tell her brothers to answer their phones), studying his reflection in the black screen. “Oh, geez.”
“I don’t think you’ve ever looked better.” Isabella teased.
Buford crossed his arms and glared. “Alright Princess, truth or dare?”
Isabella met his challenging look and tilted her chin up. “Dare,” she said fearlessly.
When a wicked grin crossed his face, she knew instantly she had fallen into a trap. “I dare you...”he said slowly. “...to kiss Phineas.”
If looks could kill, Buford would be ten feet under the ground. Isabella was fuming-not because she had to kiss Phineas, but because her first kiss with her love would be under Buford’s terms and not her own.
Phineas snapped his head wildly between Buford and Isabella, hardly noticing that Ferb and Baljeet were nearly killing themselves laughing. “Wait, what?” He asked frantically, unsure of how he should feel.
“You heard me.” Buford crossed his arms. “Unless you’re too chicken to do it.”
Eyes flashing, Isabella turned determinedly to Phineas and planted her lips firmly against his. Sparks exploded and her entire body tingled. After a moment of surprise, Phineas eventually relaxed into the kiss.
Buford snapped a picture, the flash causing the two to snap back to reality. Rocketing away from each other, both of them turned red. “That...that was...” Phineas struggled to think of a word to describe the multiple emotions he was feeling in that moment, but couldn’t think of a single one.
“Nice?” Isabella suggested feebly, hoping desperately that her love had the same stomach-fluttering moment she had.
“Well, it was more than nice.” Phineas managed a shy smile. “Er, much more than nice.”
Isabella beamed. “Oh...that’s good.”
“Gag me,” Buford cut in, rolling his eyes. He waved his phone in the air, which displayed a clear picture of Phineas and Isabella kissing. “I think the entirety of the Internet will enjoy seeing this, don’t you agree?”
Snapped out of her blissful moment, Isabella turned to Buford with rage flashing in her eyes. “Buford Van Stomm, you are dead meat!”
Buford jumped to his feet and raced off, Isabella hot on his heels. The bully crashed through the wooden gate and tore down the street, laughing manically. “You kissed Phineas with platypus breath!” He taunted.
Isabella screamed in rage. “You are such a jerk!”
Ferb, Phineas and Baljeet watched them go, their laughter making it difficult to stay upright.
“Well, Phineas, how was it?” Baljeet finally asked, wiping a tear from his cheek.
Phineas smiled softly. “It was an indescribable feeling. I hope it happens again.”
“I think it will.” Ferb winked at his brother, happy that Isabella’s feelings were finally being reciprocated.
A car screeched into the driveway and a door slammed shut. Phineas frowned. “Huh, Mom’s home early.”
“Phineas, Ferb, get over here right now!”
The brothers paled. “Not Mom,” Phineas whispered. “It’s Candace!”
“She must really be steamed if she drove all the way down from Danville U.” Ferb muttered.
The gate slammed open, and Candace glowered at her two cowering little brothers. “I said get over here!”
“I think you should run.” Baljeet whispered.
Phineas and Ferb nodded and took off into the house. Candace let out a bellow like an angry bull and charged after them. Baljeet lay against the soft grass, a grin curling across his face.
That was the scene Perry returned home to-Isabella chasing Buford up and down Maple Drive and Phineas and Ferb running all over the house in an attempt to escape the wrath of their elder sister. Perry stared up at the second floor window in disbelief, watching as Phineas and Ferb tried to fend Candace off with pillows.
He let out a confused chatter and Baljeet lifted his head. “Oh, there you are Perry.” He gathered the platypus into his arms and Perry nestled into them. “You know Perry, I have never thought truth or dare would be a game suitable for me.”
“Gotcha!”
Isabella had finally caught up to the bully and pinned him against the fence lining the Flynn-Fletcher property. Buford yelped as she pinned his arm against his back and twisted it slightly. The sparkles on his face shone in the sunlight.
“Say sorry!”
“No!”
“Say sorry!”
“No!”
“Say sorry!”
“N-ah, ah! Okay, okay, I’m sorry!”
Baljeet threw his head back and laughed, not able to remember a day where he had laughed so hard. “Yes, we should most definitely play truth or dare more often.”