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Me: "Finally done~! Sorry it so long... Again... Like I said, I'm in college so-"

Bill: "Oh stop being around the bush! You've been watching a lot of 'Steven Universe' and 'Star vs the Forces the Evil' again, huh."

Me: "Oh come on! I work hard in my college courses, so I need to take breaks in order to keep my sanity in check! (all those essays... *shudder*) Not like you would know anything about that..."

Bill: "Yeah, sure... That's the reason..."

Me: "Can you please just leave me alone?!"

Bill: "Nope!"

Me: "Ugh... That's it. I'm going to get some unicorn hair."

Bill: "Ha-ha-ha! And where are you going to get it?"

Me: "Um... ...Princess Pony Head...?"

Bill: "You know she's a just flying unicorn head, right?"

Me: "W-well... Having part of unicorn is better than having none!"
...
Yang stretched her arms a bit before asking her sister what the name of the episode. "Okay, this episode is called 'Headhunters.'" "Headhunters, huh?" The blonde put her hand on her chin. "So it's either has something to do with skulls or someone's head actually goes missing."

We open to the Mystery shack before we cut inside to see Dipper and Mabel watching TV in the living room, Dipper is eating popcorn from a bowl while Mabel is knitting a sweater, she tries to reach for the popcorn but Dipper slaps her hand. We cut to the screen to see them watching a mystery show, we see a constable on screen.

Constable: I'm afraid your services won't be required here, sir. My men have examined the evidence, and this is obviously an accident.

We pan out to see a dead body in a phone booth with arms and a leg sticking out, just then a duck wearing a Sherlock Holmes hat walked in.

Duck: (Quacking, the subtitles read An accident, constable? Or is it... Murder?!

Turns to the screen then cuts back to the Constable.

Constable: What?!

A webbed foot appears on-screen then a green goes across with the words "Duck-tective" appears.

TV Announcer: Duck-tective will return after these messages.

We cut back to the twins where Mabel is so awed that she drops her knitting needles and sweater and gasps.

Mabel: That duck is a genius!
Dipper: Eh, it's easier to find clues when you're that close to the ground.

Mabel squints her eyes and puts her hands on her hips.

Mabel: Are you saying you could outwit Duck-tective?

Dipper: Mabel, I have very keen powers of observation. For example, just by smelling your breath, I can tell that you have been eating... (Sniffs)

"Popcorn?" Weiss guessed.

Dipper: ...an entire tube of toothpaste?!

"Wait, what?" The heiress said. Camera pans out and we see Mabel with toothpaste on her mouth looking sick.

Mabel: (Groans) It was so sparkly...

Just then Soos comes running into the room.

Soos: Hey, dudes, you'll never guess what I found!

Dipper: Buried treasure!

Mabel: Buried- (laughs and pushes Dipper playfully) Hey, I was gonna say that!

Camera shifts to Soos leading the twins walking through a dark hallway and we get to an ajar door with ripped wallpaper.

Soos: So, I was cleaning up, when I found this secret door, hidden behind the wallpaper. It's crazy bonkers creepy!

Soos pushes the door open and inside we see... a whole bunch of wax sculptures. "Why would wax sculptures be locked in a secret room?" Ruby asked. "Maybe it's like that movie where the stone tablet brought all those museum exhibits to life?" Yang suggested. The twins and Soos walk inside, Dipper turns on a flashlight.

Dipper: Whoa! It's a secret wax museum!

Soos: They're so life-like.

Dipper: Except for that one.

Dipper shines a light on a wax figure which turns out to be Stan.

Stan: Hello!

The Twins and Soos scream in surprise.

Stan: (Chuckles) It's just me, your Grunkle Stan!

The Twins and Soos now scream in fright and run away.

(Cue theme song)

Camera opens with Stan showing the twins and Soos the wax figures.

Stan: Behold the Gravity Falls Wax Museum! It was one of our most popular attractions... before I forgot all about it.

"Of course he did." Weiss said. Stan walks up to the wax figures and lists them off.

Stan: Got 'em all! Genghis Khan, Sherlock Holmes, some kind of, I don't know, goblin man?

"I wonder if they're real people in Hikari's world." Ruby said. "Probably." Blake answered. "If the setting is based on the world Hikari lives in, then it makes sense to put them in the show."

Dipper: (Shudders) Is anyone else getting the creeps here?

Stan: And now for my personal favorite: Wax Abraham Lincoln, right over-

Stan presents it only to see that the blinds were left open and the statue melted away.

Stan: Oh! Oh no! Come on, who left the blinds open? (Points off-screen) Wax John Wilkes Booth, I'm looking in your direction!

Stan bends down a rubs his figure among the melted was sadly.

Stan: How do you fix a wax figure?

Mabel: Cheer up, Grunkle Stan. Where's that smile?

Stan: Egh.

Mabel: (Poking Stan's face) Beep, bop, boop!

Stan: Ow.

"Aw, she reminds of Nora! In a weird way..." Ruby said. "Actually, I think the two will get along pretty well." Weiss added. "If Mabel was real that is." Stan gets up.

Mabel: Don't worry, Grunkle Stan. I'll make you a new wax figure from all this old wax!

Stan: You really think you can make one of these puppies?

Mabel: Grunkle Stan, I'm an arts and crafts master. Why do you think I always have this glue gun stuck to my arm?

Mabel grunts while trying to shake of the glue gun but it is still stuck to her hand. "Yeah, she might need a new sweater." Yang said.

Stan: I like your gumption, kid!

Mabel: I don't know what that word means, but thank you!

We cut to the parlor room of the mystery shack with Mabel in front of a big wax cube while drawing in a sketchbook and Dipper walks in drinking a soda.

Mabel: Dipper!

Dipper gets startled and chokes and his soda and starts to cough.

Mabel: What do you think of my wax figure idea?

Mabel shows Dipper her drawing as the camera shows it piece by piece.

Mabel: She's part fairy princess, and part horse fairy princess!

Ruby tilted her head. "So, a centaur?" "With a horse's face on her stomach." Blake added.

Dipper: M...maybe you should carve something from real life.

Mabel starts sketching again before showing Dipper her new picture.

Mabel: Like a waffle, with big arms!

"She has a pretty big imagination." Yang smiled.

Dipper: Y-okay... Or, you know, something else. Like- like someone in your family.

Stan walks in groggily without his pants on.

Stan: Kids, have you seen my pants?

Stan puts on foot on a briefcase and looks around like an explorer as a ceiling light shines down on him. Mabel's eyes turn big and sparkly. Mabel turns around and looks up. "Oh no..." Weiss muttered. "She's not..."

Mabel: Oh, muse. You work in mysterious ways.

Stan: Why's your sister talking to the ceiling?

Mabel grabs sculpting tools puts on some safety googles and begins working on the sculpture and we get a montage of Mabel working. "She's not really going to carve a statue of Stan not wearing pants, right?" The heiress said afterwards. "If she did, I doubt Stan would approve of it." Blake said. After Mabel is finally done she steps back towards Dipper and Soos to look over her work.

Mabel: I think... it needs more glitter.

Soos: Agreed.

Soos hands Mabel a bucket of glitter and Mabel throws it onto the sculpture. Stan then walks in with his pants on but now he has lost his shoes.

Stan: I found my pants but now I'm missing my-!

Stan looks up to see the wax figure and screams in surprise and crawls away like a crab from it as Soos and the twins look on.

Mabel: What do you think?

Stan: I think... the Wax Museum's back in business!

We cut outside the Mystery shack where a giant banner is hung with the words "Wax Museum of Mystery Grand Re-Opening. Soos is directing traffic... with corn dogs and even takes a bite out of one. Dipper and Wendy are working the admission table next to the stage that has a banner that says "The Eighth Wonder of The World."

Dipper: I can't believe this many people showed up.

Wendy: I know, right? Your uncle probably bribed them or something.

Dipper: He bribed me.

Dipper pulls out a dollar and Wendy pulls one out as well. They both chuckled. "Nice!" Yang grinned. We cut to Mabel on the stage with the wax sculptures and hers covered by a cloth, looking excited as Stan walks on stage to the microphone to make an announcement. Stan clears his throat and tapes the microphone creating a very annoying sound causing a lot of people to cringe and cover their ears.

Stan: You all know me, folks! Town darling, "Mr. Mystery." Please, ladies, control yourselves!

We cut to three ladies in the audience, a farm one, a fat one, and an old one with dull/not interested looks on their face, all with flies buzzing around them. We cut back to Stan.

Stan: As you know, I always bring the people of this fair town novelties and befuddlements, the likes of which the world, has never known. But enough about me. Behold... me!

Stan takes off the cloth to revel a happy looking sparkling him giving everyone the thumbs up. "Well, at least he's wearing pants." Blake said. Soos presents with his sound mixing keyboard.

Soos keyboard: (Fanfare) Ye-ah! Ye-ye-ye-ye-ye-ah!

A miner and a fisherman in the crowd starts to politely clap while everyone else either coughs or just gives a dull look.

Stan: And now a word from our own Mabelangelo!

Stan gives the microphone to Mabel.

Mabel: It's Mabel. Thank you for coming! I made this sculpture with my own two hands! (Raises her hands in victory) It's covered in my blood, sweat, tears, and other fluids!

Audience: Ugh! Ewwww!

"Uhh..." Ruby uttered. The members of Team RWBY didn't know what to say about that. "I'm not even gonna say word." Weiss said as her follow teammates agreed.

Mabel: (Chuckles) Yeah. I will now take questions! (Points to someone off-screen) You there!

The crazy man from the last episode stands up. "Hey, it's him again!" Yang said.

?: Old Man McGucket, local kook.

"Local kook?" Ruby said. "Well, at least he's aware." Her partner added.

Old Man McGucket: Are the wax figures alive? And follow-up question, can I survive the wax-man uprising?

Mabel: Um...Yes! Next question! (Points to someone else)

?: Toby Determined, Gravity Falls Gossiper. Do you really think this constitutes a wonder of the world?

Stan: Your microphone's a turkey baster, Toby.

Toby: It certainly is-

Stan: (Points to someone else) Next question.

?: Shandra Jimenez, a real reporter. Your flyers promised free pizza with admission to this event. Is this true?

Audience: That's what I heard!... Come on!... What a rip-off!... Pizza?... I want my pizza!...

The crowd starts to get angry, Dipper and Wendy look at each other nervously. Stan then looked at them, really nervous.

Stan: That was a typo. Good night, everyone!

Stan throws a smoke pellet onto the ground and disappears from the stage, appearing right next to the admission table and running away with the money. A fat guy with a shirt that says "Free Pizza" on it with a Pizza picture on as well, sighs and stands up and sadly walks away, the fat lady starts kicking and throwing chairs, and The lumberjack from the last episode punches one of the pole holding up the banner.

?: In your face!

The audience then angrily leaves the Mystery shack as Dipper and Wendy watch on with nervous looks on their face as Mabel walks up to join them and leans on the admission table.

Mabel: I think that went well.

"Well, he ripped a lot of people off." The brawler said. "I'm not surprised." The heiress added. We cut to nighttime at the Mystery Shack as an owl hoots, then we cut to the living room where Stan is counting the money and Mabel is polishing Wax Stan.

Stan: Hot pumpkin pie! Look at all this cash! And I owe it all to one person.

Mabel looks at Stan with big eyes.

Stan: This guy!

Stan points to Wax Stan, then Mabel playfully punches him in the stomach.

Stan: Ooh! (Noggies Mabel) Yeah, you too, ya little gremlin. Now you kids wash up. We got another long day of fleecing rubes tomorrow. Go, go! (Sighs) Kids.

We cut to the TV with Duck-tective back on. The Constable and Duck-tective are with a criminal who is all tied up.

Constable: Well, duck-tective, it seems you've really quacked the case.

Duck-tective: (Quacking; subtitles) Don't patronize me.

We cut back to Stan laughing... While watching Duck-tective with Wax Stan? "Wow, he's either really lonely or self-absorb." Blake said. "Probably both!" Yang guessed.

Stan: Stupid duck! Well, I'm gonna use the john. You need anything?

Wax Stan just stands there smiling, sparkling and giving the thumbs up, Stan just laughs.

Stan: I love this guy! Don't you go nowhere.

Stan leaves the room. "Why do I have a feeling it's gonna go somewhere?" Ruby said. "Usually when someone leaves the room, something is bound to happen while they're gone." Blake explained. We cut to outside the shack where the wind starts to pick up, blowing the flags and spinning the question mark wind compass. We then cut back inside, where Dipper and Mabel were in the bathroom brushing their teeth.

Mabel: Dipper, you wanna do a toothbrush race?

Dipper: Okay.

Stan: (Off-screen; Screaming) No... No... Noooooo!

Dipper and Mabel look at each other before running out of the bathroom into the living and we see Stan sweating and looking nervous.

Stan: Wax Stan! He's been... m-murdered!

Dipper and Mabel look down and we see a now headless Wax Stan with his head no where in site as a clock bongs three times as the camera pans out with each bong. Mabel faints but Dipper stops her from falling onto the floor. "Looks like only the head went somewhere." Yang said. "Does this count as a murder?" Ruby asked. "Obviously not." Weiss answered bluntly. We cut to outside to see the goat munching on grass as red and blue lights flash around him. The goat turns his head to see a police car parked in front of the mystery shack. "They brought the police into this." Yang pointed out. "Well, it's not murder but it is breaking and entering." The heiress said. "That is, if the culprit wasn't already in the house." "Well, it definitely wasn't Dipper or Mabel, they were brushing their teeth and they wouldn't do something like that to their uncle." Ruby stated. "Well, it couldn't have been Stan." Yang added. "I mean, why would he fake something like that?" We then cut back to the living room where two police officers are with Stan and the twins.

Stan: I got up to use the john, right? And when I come back, blammo! He's headless!

Mabel: My expert handcrafting... besmirched. (Crying) Besmiiiirrrched!

Dipper kneels down and puts his hand on Mabel's shoulder.

Dipper: Who would do something like this?

?: What's your opinion, Sheriff Blubs?

Sheriff Blubs: Look, we'd love to help you folks, but let's face the facts... this case is unsolvable.

Dipper, Mabel & Stan: What?!

Stan: You take that back, Sheriff Blubs!

Dipper: You're kidding, right? There must be evidence, motives. You know, I could help if you want.

Mabel: He's really good. He figured out who was eating our tin cans!

Dipper: All signs pointed to the goat.

Stan: Yeah, yeah! Let the boy help. He's got a little brain up in his head.

Blubs: Oooh! Would you look at what we got here! City boy thinks he's gonna solve a mystery with his fancy computer phone!

?: City boooy! City booooooy!

Blubs: You are adorable!

Dipper: Adorable?

Blubs and his deputy laugh as Dipper gets mad.

Blubs: Look, P.J.'s, how about you leave the investigating to the grown-ups, okay?

"Ooh, you're gonna regret that, cops." Yang smirked. Just then Blubs's walkie-talkie went off.

Man over walkie-talkie: Attention, all units. Steve is about to fit an entire cantaloupe in his mouth. Repeat, an entire cantaloupe!

?: It's a 23-16!

Blubs: Let's move!

Blubs and his deputy run out of the living room laughing all the way.

Dipper: That's it! Mabel, you and me are going to find the jerk who did this, and get back that head. Then we'll see who's adorable.

Dipper then out a very small sneeze and Mabel smiles.

Mabel: Aww, you sneeze like a kitten!

"Aww!" Ruby smiled. "That was kinda cute!" "Yep!" Her sister agreed. Dipper glares angrily at her and the screen cuts to black.
We cut to the Mystery shack to next morning then to Dipper and Mabel in the living room having made it look like a real crime scene.

Dipper: Wax Stan has lost his head and its up to us to find it.

Mabel is taking pictures of the... body? Dipper looks at the suspect board.

Dipper: There were a lot of unhappy customers at the unveiling. The murderer could have been anyone.

Mabel: Yeah! Even us!

Dipper pulls out the Journal and looks through the pages.

Dipper: In this town, anything is possible. Ghosts, zombies, it could be months before we find our first clue.

Mabel: Hey, look! A clue.

Camera pans down to show footprints in the carpet. Ruby laughed. "Wow, if only real-life mysteries were that easy." "Then they wouldn't be mysteries anymore." Blake deadpanned.

Dipper: (off-screen) Footprints in the shag carpet!

Mabel: (off-screen) That's weird. They've got a hole in them.

Camera cuts back to the twins as they follow the footprints to behind the living chair.

Dipper: And they're leading to...

To their shock they find an axe, they take it to Soos who is in the gift shop and he inspects it.

Dipper: So, what do you think?

Soos: In my opinion: this is an ax.

"Obviously." Weiss snarked.

Mabel: Wait a minute. The lumberjack!

Dipper & Mabel: Of Course!
...
We flashback to the lumberjack punching the pole and the screen is black and white.

Lumberjack: In your face!

Flashback ends.
...
Dipper: He was furious when he didn't get that free pizza.

Mabel: Furious enough, for murder!

Soos: Oh, you mean Manly Dan. Yeah, he hangs out at this crazy intense biker joint downtown.

Mabel: Then that's where we're going.

Soos: Dude, this is awesome. You two are like: The Mystery Twins!

Dipper: Don't call us that.

"I kinda liked it." The leader sipped some soda. "Really? Isn't it kinda cliché?" Her sister asked. Dipper and Mabel run outside and we see Stan pulling a coffin out of his car and sets it down.

Stan: Hey, give me a hand with this coffin, will ya? I'm doin' a memorial service for wax Stan. Something small, but classy.

Dipper: Sorry, Grunkle Stan, but we have got a big break in the case!

Mabel: Break in the case!

Dipper: We're heading to the town right now to interrogate the murderer.

Mabel takes the axe out of Dipper's backpack and shows it to Stan.

Mabel: We have an axe! (Makes horror movie screeching sounds) REE, REE, REE!

Stan puts on his thinking face.

Stan: Hm, it seem like the kind of thing that responsible parents wouldn't want you to do...

"But you're not a parent!" Yang grinned.

Stan: Good thing I'm an uncle. Avenge me kids! AVENGE MEEE!

We cut to Gravity falls town, where Dipper and Mabel are hiding in an alley, Dipper ducks behind a dumpster while Mabel hides inside it.

Dipper: This is the place.

Dipper and Mabel peak around the corner and see a big black guy with tattoos all over his body under a sign saying "Skull Fracture" on it. They duck back behind the alley when he turns his head toward them.

Dipper: Got the fake IDs?

Mabel gives Dipper the fake IDs and Dipper looks over them.

Dipper: Here goes nothing.

Camera cuts to the bodyguard looking at an ID then sets it down and folds his arms.

?: Sorry, but we don't serve miners.

Camera shows a miner. Yang chuckled while Weiss rolled her eyes.

Miner: Daaaannnnng'nab it!

The miner then spits on the ground and walks away grumbling. Dipper and Mabel walk up to the bodyguard and show him... The worst fake IDs ever!

Mabel: We're here to interrogate Manly Dan the lumber jack for the murder of wax Stan. (Mabel gives hers a shake, rolling the plastic eyes on it) Dedledle-e.

"Is he really gonna fall for that?" Weiss said. "Yes." The faunus said bluntly.

?: Works for me.

He opens the door for the twins and inside we see a lot of biker guys fighting and drinking, sounds of glass breaking and guys shouting are heard everywhere, as they walk through the club Mabel steps over an un-moving man on the ground.

Mabel: He's resting.

"Yeah... We'll go with that." Yang said.

Dipper: Alright, let's just try to blend in, ok?

Mabel: You got it, Dippingsauce.

Mabel sits down at a counter and talks to a very gruff, tough bearded man with a tattoo that is a sword with the banner "bats" draped across it.

Mabel: Hey there, fellow restaurant patron! (Pats his arm) Bap!

The man growls at her as we cut to Manly Dan who is playing an arm wrestling game as Dipper approaches him.

Manly Dan: AAAAAGHHHH!

Dipper: Manly Dan, just the guy I wanted to see. Where were you last night?

Manly Dan: Punchin' the clock.

Dipper: You were at work.

Manly Dan: No, I was punchin' that clock!

He points outside and we see a clock that is broken and stuck at 10 o'clock.

Dipper: 10 o'clock, the time of the murder. So, I guess you've never seen this before?

Dipper pulls out the axe and shows it to Manly Dan.

Manly Dan: Listen little girl!

Dipper: Hey, actually I'm a-

Manly Dan: -I wouldn't pick my teeth with that ax. It's left handed! I only use my right hand, the MANLY HAND!

Dan then rips off the machines arm and starts to beat it as the skinny guy again shows a cheers with glee.

?: Get 'im! Get 'im! (Giggles)

Dipper: Left handed...

We cut back to Mabel and the biker who are... playing with a cootie catcher? "Huh, I haven't seen those since we were kids, Rubes." Yang said. "Looks like Mabel made a new friend." Her sister giggled. "If she can be friends with him, she can be friends with anybody." Weiss said. "Except gnomes." Blake deadpanned.

Mabel & Biker: 3,4,5,6.

Mabel: (Gasps) Your wife is going to be beautiful.

Biker: (Pumps his arm) Yes!

Dipper: Mabel, big break in the case!

Dipper and Mabel left, leaving the biker alone.

Biker: But will she love me?!

"Aww." Ruby said. "Poor guy." We cut to Dipper and Mabel walking through town, Dipper has a list.

Dipper: It's a left handed ax.

Camera shows a list of suspects with the names, Manly Dan, Old Man McGucket, That Fat Guy, Angry Lady, Mikey R., Uncle Phil and Susie with a left hand and right hand check list.

Dipper: These are all our suspects. Manly Dan is right handed, that means all we have to do is find our left handed suspect and we've got our killer.

Mabel: Oh man, we are on fire today! (Fires finger guns upward) Pa-zow, Pa-zow, Pa-zow!

Dipper: Let's find that murderer.

Dipper and Mabel fist bump and the scenes change. We cut to the dump where Old Man McGucket lives and Mabel waves at him with his right hand... that has an alligator on it? "Nope, not him." Ruby said. Dipper crosses "Right Handed" on McGucket.
We cut to Dipper who puts on a fake mustache in front of a house, he sets the box down and knocks on the door and out comes the guy who loves free pizza. Dipper gives him the clipboard and he signs it with his right hand. "Right handed again." Weiss said. Dipper gives deadpan look as he picked up the box and walks away. The pizza guy looks down sadly, Dipper checks right handed again.
Mabel whistles to the lady across the street and throws a baseball at her that she catches with her right hand... "Right hande-" Blake began. The lady then crushes the baseball with her bare hand. "Damn, talk about hardcore!" The brawler exclaimed. Dipper checks right handed. Dipper and Mabel approach a house, Dipper knocks on the door and out comes a man who has both his arms broken. "No handed." Yang joked. Dipper etches him out. We see Dipper continuing to check right handed until his pencil breaks, then he turns over the notebook page.

Dipper: (Gasps) Mabel, there's only one person left on this list.

Mabel: (Gasps) Of course, it all adds up!

We cut to a police car coming up to the Gravity falls Gossiper the police and the twins approach the door, the police armed with batons and flashlights.

Blubs: You kids better be right about this or you'll never get the end of it.

Dipper: The evidence is irrefutable.

Mabel: It's so irrefutable.

?: I gonna get to use my match stick!

Blubs: You ready? You ready little fella?

They both start cheering and poking each other with the batons then turn to the door.

Dipper: On 3! 1, 2, ...

The police kick the door in.

?: Yaaaahhhh!

Blubs: Nobody move! This is a raid!

Toby jumps in fright and falls out of his chair.

Toby: What is this? Some kind of raid?

"They just said it was a raid." Weiss said. The Policemen knocks over a lamp.

?: Derp!

Dipper and Mabel approach Toby.

Dipper: Toby Determined, you're under arrest for murder of the wax body of Grunkle Stan.

Mabel: You have the right to remain impressed with our awesome detective work.

The twins high five.

Toby: Gobbling goose feathers! I don't understand!

Dipper: Then allow me to explain.
...
Flashback begins with everything black and white. With Toby asking the questions to Stan. The holds out his hand after seeing everyone leave. Then shows Toby with an axe chopping off Wax Stan's head.

Dipper: (Voiceover) You were hoping that Grunkle Stan's new attraction would be the story that saved your failing newspaper. But when the show was a flop, you decided to go out and make your own headline.

Flashback ends.
...
We cut back to Mabel holding up his newspaper with Wax Stan's picture on the headlines.

Dipper: But you were sloppy-
...
We flashback to the footprint impressions in the carpet. Then shows Toby's hole foot and is holding his turkey baster in his left hand.

Dipper: (Voiceover) and all the clues pointed to a shabby shoed reporter who was caught left handed.

Flashback ends.
...
Mabel crumples up the newspaper and throws it away.

Mabel: Toby Determined, you're yesterday's news.

Toby: Boy, you're little knees must be sore... from jumping to conclusions. (Dances) Hachacha! I had nothing to do with that murder.

Dipper/Mabel: I knew it! Wait, what did you say? Nothing? You say nothing?/Huh? What? Could you repeat?

Blubs: Then where were you at the night of the break-in?

Toby then pulls his shirt nervously and shows them a videotape of him alone in his office at 10:00 pulling out a cardboard copy of Shandra Jimenez out of the closet.

Toby: Finally, we can be alone, cardboard cutout of TV news reporter Shandra Jimenez!

Toby then starts to kiss it and the camera pulls away and shows Toby, the twins and the police looking grossed out. The girls pretty much reacted the same way Yang did when she saw Jaune in footie pajamas. "Yikes..." Blake said. "This guy has some serious issues..." Weiss muttered.

Cops & twins: Eeeewwww! Yuck!

Blubs: Time state confirms. Toby, you're off the hook. You freak of nature.

Toby: Hooray!

Dipper: But, but it has to be him! Check the ax for fingerprints!

The police check the axe.

Blubs: No prints at all.

Dipper: No prints?

"Maybe the culprit wore gloves?" Ruby suggested.

?: Hey I got a headline for you: city kids waste everyone's time.

The Police and Toby laugh at the twins who look around embarrassed we cut back to Toby as the video still plays behind him.

Toby: Boy, I'd be pretty embarrassed if I was you two.

"Said the guy who kisses a cardboard lady in private." The faunus snarked as her leader passed the popcorn to her. We cut back to the parlor room where Stan has set everything up for the funeral of Wax Stan. Stan walks up to make a speech and the camera cuts to Soos, the twins and wax figures sitting in the chairs.

Stan: Kids, Soos, lifeless wax figures, thank you all for coming.

Soos blows his nose.

Stan: Some people might say it's wrong for a man to love a wax replica of himself.

Soos jumps and points in Stan's direction.

Soos: They're wrong!

Stan: Easy Soos. Wax Stan, I hope you're picking pockets in wax heaven. (Wipes eye) I'm sorry, I got glitter in my eye! (Crying)

Stan then runs out of the room and Soos follows him also crying.

Soos: Ohhhhh duuuude...

Dipper: (Sighs) Those cops are right about me.

Mabel: Dipper, we've come so far, we can't give up now.

Dipper stands up and walks to the Coffin.

Dipper: But I considered everything: the weapon, the motive, the clues. (sighs)

Dipper: Wax Stan shoe has a hole in it...

Mabel: All the wax guys have that. It's where the pole thingy attaches to their stand dealy.

"Wait a minute..." Ruby muttered before suddenly shouting "Did they do it?!" This startled her teammates a bit. Dipper's eye widen in realization.

Dipper: Wait a minute, what has a hole on its shoe and no fingerprints? Mabel! The murderers are-

?: Standing right behind you.

Dipper and Mabel turned around and see all the wax figures start to come to life and Dipper gasps as the camera shows the wax figures he lists. "They did do it!" The leader cheered. "Huh, it really is like that movie." Yang said.

Dipper: Wax Sherlock Holmes! Wax Shakespeare! Wax Coolio?

Wax Coolio: Wha s'up Holmes?

Then one of the Wax figures takes the axe away from Mabel who backs away behind Dipper.

Mabel: Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!

Wax Holmes: Congratulations, my two amateur sleuths, you have unburied the truth, and now we're going to bury you.

The wax figures surrounded them and the screen cuts to black. We open to the parlor room as the wax sculptures approach Dipper and Mabel.

Wax Holmes: Bravo, Dipper Pines. You've discovered our little secret.

Wax Holmes takes Wax Stan's head from his cape. Then turns to his cohorts.

Wax Holmes: Applaud, everyone, applaud sarcastically.

The wax sculptures give an applause.

Wax Holmes: Uh, no that sounds too sincere. Slow clap.

They then give a nice slow clap.

Wax Holmes: There we go, nice and condescending.

Dipper: But... how is this possible? You're made of wax!

Mabel: Are you... magic?

Wax Holmes: (Laughs) Are we magic? She wants to know if we're magic! (Stops laughing) We're CURSED!

Wax Sculptures: CURSED! CURSED!

Wax Holmes: Cursed to come to life whenever the moon is waxing. Your uncle bought us many years ago at a garage sale.

Wax Coolio: A haunted garage sale, son!
...
We flashback to a house overlooking a cemetery and an owl in a tree, then pan over to a garage that Stan is standing in front of with the owner.

?: I must warn you, these statues come at a terrible price.

Stan looks at the price tag.

Stan: Twenty dollars?! I'll just take 'em when you're not looking.

?: What?!

Stan: I said I was gonna rob you.

We then cut to the wax museum in it's hay day as people pay admission to come in and take pictures with the Wax Sculptures and a kid kicks one in the crotch.

Wax Holmes: (Voiceover) And so, the Mystery Shack Wax Collection was born. By day, we would be the playthings of man.

We then cut to nighttime with the wax figures messing around the shack.

Wax Coolio: (Voiceover) But when your uncle went to sleep, we would rule da night.

The Camera pans through a kitchen where Wax Coolio is reading a book while, one wax sculpture is flicking his hair while two others drink stuff from the fridge.

Wax Coolio: Hey, I told you to stop that.

?: Make me!

We then cut to wax Holmes with another wax sculpture taking a picture of a sleeping Stan as Wax Holmes pokes his nose. While laughing they take a picture and the flash wakes Stan up.

Stan: Huh?

Wax Holmes and the other wax sculpture freeze then Stan falls back asleep. They sigh in relief then go back to the joke they were pulling on Stan.

Wax Holmes: (Voiceover) It was a charmed life for us cursed beings...

We then cut to Stan who is no pouring dust out the Wax Museum admittance box then sadly puts the Wax figures away in a storage closet.

Wax Holmes: (Voiceover) That is, until your uncle closed up shop.

We then see the years roll by and storage room gets covered by wallpaper and then the years roll by again and it gets worn out and Soos is seen cleaning the floors when he sees a doorknob and sees the hole then puts it into the door. We then cut to Wax Holmes approaching Wax Stan from behind.

Wax Holmes: (Voiceover) We've been waiting ten years to get our revenge on Stan for locking us away...

Wax Holmes then approaches wax Stan and the shadow shows him cutting of Wax Stan's head only to see it's not the one he wants and picks up Wax Stan's head.

Wax Holmes: (Voiceover) But we got the wrong guy.

Wax Holmes then hears Stan coming back into the room and slips out before he is seen and the flashback ends.
...

Dipper: So, you're trying to murder Grunkle Stan for real?!

Mabel: You were right all along, Dipper! Wax people are creepy!

Wax Holmes: Enough! Now that you know our secret, you must... die.

All the Wax Sculptures start to growl and their eyes roll into the back of their heads as the approach Dipper and Mabel who slowly back away to the table. "Well that's disturbing." Blake said.

Mabel: What do we do, what do we do?

Dipper: I don't know.

They pick up stuff behind them on the table and start to throw it at the Wax Figures and it does nothing until Dipper throws some hot coffee at Wax Genghis Khan who screams in pain.

Mabel: That's it! We can melt them with hotty melty things!

They both grab some electric candles on the table and hold them like swords as the approach the Wax Figures who back away slowly.

Dipper: Anyone move and we'll melt you into candles!

Mabel: Decorative Candles!

Wax Holmes: You really think you can defeat us?

Dipper/Mabel: I-I don't really know. I'm not-I'm not really sure./It's worth a shot, I guess.

Wax Holmes: So be it... Attack!

The wax figures charge two of them try to get Mabel with the axe but Mabel ducks and they accidently cut of one of their own. Wax Shakespeare tries to grab Mabel only to have his arms cut of by the candle and he runs away. Then one of the arms jumps up and gets Mabel in a headlock, Mabel moves over to the door and slams Shakespeare's fingers on it. Meanwhile Dipper fight some Wax figures as well and makes puns as well.

Dipper: Interview this, Larry King!

Dipper decapitates Wax Larry King.

Wax Larry King: My neck! My beautiful neck!

Another Wax Figure comes from behind but accidentally grans the candle and his hand starts to melt, Dipper cuts him in half.

Dipper: Jokes on you, Groucho!

Wax Groucho: I've heard about a cutting remark but this is ridiculous! Hey, why is there nothing in my hand?

The brawler of team RWBY snickered quietly. As Wax Groucho's top half slides off him, Wax Genghis Khan charges at Dipper only to trip and Dipper dodges causing him to fall into the fire place.

Dipper: Ha, Genghis Khan! You fell harder than the... uh... I don't know, uh, Qin Dynasty? Heh. Yeah. Alright.

He gets back up a resumes the fight. Meanwhile Mabel has somehow cut off Wax Coolio's head and is swinging it around hitting other wax figures.

Wax Coolio: Ow, ow, ow, ow! What's up with that?

Mabel then notices something as Dipper cuts off a Wax Figures leg.

Mabel: Dipper! Watch out!

Dipper turns around and sees Wax Holmes approaching him.

Wax Holmes: Alright. Let's get this taken care of.

Wax Holmes sets Wax Stan's head on the horn of a rhino trophy and takes a sword of the wall. He then swats the electric candle out of Dipper's hand and it smashes on the ground. He then raises his sword to strike Dipper.

Mabel: Catch!

Mabel throws a fire poker with a hot red tip at Dipper who catches it and defends against Wax Holmes's sword. "It's a heat sword!" Ruby said. Wax Holmes keeps attacking and Dipper keeps defending as they leave the parlor and goes up the attic stairs and into the attic continuing their duel. Then Wax Holmes corners Dipper.

Wax Holmes: Once your family is out of the way, we'll rule the night once more!

Dipper looks out the window and sees a light.

Dipper: Don't count on it!

Dipper dives under Wax Holmes and makes his way out the window and starts to climb the roof, Wax Holmes follows him.

Wax Holmes: Come back here, you brat!

Dipper climbs on top of the shack sign and tries to maintain his balance as Wax Holmes climbs up and they resume their duel while still trying to maintain balance. Wax Holmes moves to strike Dipper but instead hits the 'S' on the Shack sign causing it to fall. "No! Not the S!" Ruby said. "Now it's the Mystery Hack!" "Well, that's probably not good for business." Yang said.

Wax Holmes: You really think you can outwit me boy? I'm Sherlock bleeding Holmes! Have you seen my magnifying glass?! It's enormous!

Dipper throws the picker away and climbs over the Mystery sign and climbs down on the other side sliding down the roof but catches
himself and hides behind the chimney and catches his breathe. He peaks out and sees Wax Holmes nowhere in sight, he breathes a sigh of relief...then looks to his left and sees Wax Holmes right there and kicks Dipper then points his sword at him and raises it above his head.

Wax Holmes: Any last words?

Dipper: Um... you got any sunscreen?

Wax Holmes: Got any-? What?

Wax Holmes looks up and sees he is starting to melt and turns around to see the sun coming up as he starts to completely melt. "Yep! The classic 'Kill the Vampire' ending!" The brawler said.

Wax Holmes: No.

Dipper: You know, letting me lead you outside? Probably not you sharpest decision.

Wax Holmes: Outsmarted by a child in short pants! No! Fiddlesticks! Humbugs! Titer, total kerfuffle. Butter hullabaloo.

Dipper: Case closed!

Dipper then rubs his hands together causing dust to form and making him do his adorable kitten sneeze. Wax Holmes's head then laughs.

Wax Holmes: Ha ha ha! You sneeze like a kitten! Those policemen were right, you're adorable! Adorable!

The rest of Wax Holmes then falls off the roof and lands on the ground with a splat and Dipper looks grossed out.

Dipper: E-ew.

We cut back to Mabel throwing the rest of the wax figures into the fireplace leaving only Wax Shakespeare's head

Wax Shakespeare: Though our group be left in twain, man of wax shall rise agayn!

Mabel picks up the head and prepares to throw it in.

Mabel: Y'know any limericks?

Wax Shakespeare: Uh... there once was a dude from Kentucky...

Mabel: Nope!

Mabel then throws him into the fire as Dipper enters the room. "Well, he just got... burn? Eh? Get it?" Yang grinned as her sister throws her corgi pillow at her.

Mabel: Dipper! You're okay! You solved the mystery after all.

Dipper gets a chair and picks up Wax Stan's head off of the Rhino Trophy.

Dipper: I couldn't have done it without my sidekick.

Mabel: No offense Dipper, but you're the sidekick.

Dipper: What? Says who? Have people been saying that? Have you heard that?

Stan walks back into the parlor room and his eyes widen in shock.

Stan: Hot Belgian waffles! What happened to my parlor!?

Mabel: Your wax figures turned out to be evil, so we fought them to the death!

Dipper: I decapitated Larry King.

Stan: Ha ha! You kids and your imaginations!

Dipper: On the bright side, though, look what we found.

Dipper gives Wax Stan's head to Stan.

Stan: My head! Ha ha! I missed this guy! You done good kids! Alright, line up for some affectionate noogie-ing.

Dipper/Mabel: Oh I'm not so sure about that. Is there any other alternative...?/Oh uh... I'm not so sure...

Stan gives both of twins noggies and the whole family laughs then they hear a police siren and look outside and sees Blubs and his partner pulling in.

Blubs: Solved the case yet, boy? I'm so confident you're gonna say no, that I'm gonna take a long, slow sip from my cup of coffee.

"He's gonna regret that!" Ruby said.

Dipper: Actually, the answer is yes.

Dipper shows them Wax Stan's head which cause Blubs to do a spit take of coffee on his partner who screams and spits coffee right back and this goes on for awhile until the both scream and drive away.

Blubs: It burns! It burns!

?: My eyes!

The Pines family laughs as they drive away and hear them crash into something.

Stan: They got scalded!

Dipper: So, did you get rid of all the wax figures?

Mabel: I am ninety-nine percent sure that I did!

"They missed one, didn't they." Weiss said. "We're ninety-nine percent sure they did!" Her partner joked.

Dipper: Good enough for me!

The camera then pans to a vent where the head of Wax Larry King watches the Pines family and laughs until he sees a rat right next to him. "Not Larry King!" The sisters said in unison.

Wax Larry King: So you're a rat. Tell me about that.

The rat then rips off Wax Larry King's ear and runs away.

Wax Larry King: Hey, get back here!

He then turns around and hops after the rat.

Wax Larry King: I'm hopping! I'm hopping after a rat that stole my ear!

End Credits

Mabel holds two sweaters in front of the mirror trying to decide what to wear.

Mabel: Hmm. Hey Dipper, which do you think is better? Sequins or llama hair?

Wax Larry King hops by a vent and sees Mabel.

Wax Larry King: The llama hair. Llamas are nature's greatest warriors.

Wax Larry King then hops away.

Mabel: Thanks Dipper!

Mabel leaves the room as Dipper looks around confused then goes right back to reading.

Episode ends.

"Yeah..." Blake said. "That wasn't Dipper." "I wonder if Larry King will come back!" Yang finished her soda. "I doubt it." Weiss answered bluntly. "That episode was pretty good!" Ruby said. "By the way, what's the code for this one Weiss?" The heiress handed Ruby the list. The leader took it and read it out loud. "It says, 'He's still in the vents.'" "So this code is just pointing out the obvious..." Weiss said. "Anyway, we have class tomorrow so we'll watch one more episode before heading to bed." "Right!" And with that, Ruby put on the final episode for the night.
...

Me: "...Leave me alone, Cipher..."

Bill: "Oh, come on. If you want, I can help you with this chapter."

Me: "Why? So you could take over Remnant?

Bill: "Maybe."

Me: "Ha, I doubt even Cinder would want you there!"

Bill: "Ha-ha-ha! Hmm... If I were to meet up with Lil' Miss Matches... She'll be my puppet in no time!"

Me: "I don't know... She can be pretty strong..."

Bill: "Why? Because she sunk one of your favorite sh-"

Me: "No-no-NO-NO-NO-NONONONONO!"

Bill: "Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Your reaction to that is always hilarious!"

Me: "...You're mean sometimes, you know that?"

Bill: "I know~! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

:) (Smile) — Description
Me: "Finally done~! Sorry it so long... Again... Like I said, I'm in college so-"

Bill: "Oh stop being around the bush! You've been watching a lot of 'Steven Universe' and 'Star vs the Forces the Evil' again, huh."

Me: "Oh come on! I work hard in my college courses, so I need to take breaks in order to keep my sanity in check! (all those essays... *shudder*) Not like you would know anything about that..."

Bill: "Yeah, sure... That's the reason..."

Me: "Can you please just leave me alone?!"

Bill: "Nope!"

Me: "Ugh... That's it. I'm going to get some unicorn hair."

Bill: "Ha-ha-ha! And where are you going to get it?"

Me: "Um... ...Princess Pony Head...?"

Bill: "You know she's a just flying unicorn head, right?"

Me: "W-well... Having part of unicorn is better than having none!"
...
Yang stretched her arms a bit before asking her sister what the name of the episode. "Okay, this episode is called 'Headhunters.'" "Headhunters, huh?" The blonde put her hand on her chin. "So it's either has something to do with skulls or someone's head actually goes missing."

We open to the Mystery shack before we cut inside to see Dipper and Mabel watching TV in the living room, Dipper is eating popcorn from a bowl while Mabel is knitting a sweater, she tries to reach for the popcorn but Dipper slaps her hand. We cut to the screen to see them watching a mystery show, we see a constable on screen.

Constable: I'm afraid your services won't be required here, sir. My men have examined the evidence, and this is obviously an accident.

We pan out to see a dead body in a phone booth with arms and a leg sticking out, just then a duck wearing a Sherlock Holmes hat walked in.

Duck: (Quacking, the subtitles read An accident, constable? Or is it... Murder?!

Turns to the screen then cuts back to the Constable.

Constable: What?!

A webbed foot appears on-screen then a green goes across with the words "Duck-tective" appears.

TV Announcer: Duck-tective will return after these messages.

We cut back to the twins where Mabel is so awed that she drops her knitting needles and sweater and gasps.

Mabel: That duck is a genius!
Dipper: Eh, it's easier to find clues when you're that close to the ground.

Mabel squints her eyes and puts her hands on her hips.

Mabel: Are you saying you could outwit Duck-tective?

Dipper: Mabel, I have very keen powers of observation. For example, just by smelling your breath, I can tell that you have been eating... (Sniffs)

"Popcorn?" Weiss guessed.

Dipper: ...an entire tube of toothpaste?!

"Wait, what?" The heiress said. Camera pans out and we see Mabel with toothpaste on her mouth looking sick.

Mabel: (Groans) It was so sparkly...

Just then Soos comes running into the room.

Soos: Hey, dudes, you'll never guess what I found!

Dipper: Buried treasure!

Mabel: Buried- (laughs and pushes Dipper playfully) Hey, I was gonna say that!

Camera shifts to Soos leading the twins walking through a dark hallway and we get to an ajar door with ripped wallpaper.

Soos: So, I was cleaning up, when I found this secret door, hidden behind the wallpaper. It's crazy bonkers creepy!

Soos pushes the door open and inside we see... a whole bunch of wax sculptures. "Why would wax sculptures be locked in a secret room?" Ruby asked. "Maybe it's like that movie where the stone tablet brought all those museum exhibits to life?" Yang suggested. The twins and Soos walk inside, Dipper turns on a flashlight.

Dipper: Whoa! It's a secret wax museum!

Soos: They're so life-like.

Dipper: Except for that one.

Dipper shines a light on a wax figure which turns out to be Stan.

Stan: Hello!

The Twins and Soos scream in surprise.

Stan: (Chuckles) It's just me, your Grunkle Stan!

The Twins and Soos now scream in fright and run away.

(Cue theme song)

Camera opens with Stan showing the twins and Soos the wax figures.

Stan: Behold the Gravity Falls Wax Museum! It was one of our most popular attractions... before I forgot all about it.

"Of course he did." Weiss said. Stan walks up to the wax figures and lists them off.

Stan: Got 'em all! Genghis Khan, Sherlock Holmes, some kind of, I don't know, goblin man?

"I wonder if they're real people in Hikari's world." Ruby said. "Probably." Blake answered. "If the setting is based on the world Hikari lives in, then it makes sense to put them in the show."

Dipper: (Shudders) Is anyone else getting the creeps here?

Stan: And now for my personal favorite: Wax Abraham Lincoln, right over-

Stan presents it only to see that the blinds were left open and the statue melted away.

Stan: Oh! Oh no! Come on, who left the blinds open? (Points off-screen) Wax John Wilkes Booth, I'm looking in your direction!

Stan bends down a rubs his figure among the melted was sadly.

Stan: How do you fix a wax figure?

Mabel: Cheer up, Grunkle Stan. Where's that smile?

Stan: Egh.

Mabel: (Poking Stan's face) Beep, bop, boop!

Stan: Ow.

"Aw, she reminds of Nora! In a weird way..." Ruby said. "Actually, I think the two will get along pretty well." Weiss added. "If Mabel was real that is." Stan gets up.

Mabel: Don't worry, Grunkle Stan. I'll make you a new wax figure from all this old wax!

Stan: You really think you can make one of these puppies?

Mabel: Grunkle Stan, I'm an arts and crafts master. Why do you think I always have this glue gun stuck to my arm?

Mabel grunts while trying to shake of the glue gun but it is still stuck to her hand. "Yeah, she might need a new sweater." Yang said.

Stan: I like your gumption, kid!

Mabel: I don't know what that word means, but thank you!

We cut to the parlor room of the mystery shack with Mabel in front of a big wax cube while drawing in a sketchbook and Dipper walks in drinking a soda.

Mabel: Dipper!

Dipper gets startled and chokes and his soda and starts to cough.

Mabel: What do you think of my wax figure idea?

Mabel shows Dipper her drawing as the camera shows it piece by piece.

Mabel: She's part fairy princess, and part horse fairy princess!

Ruby tilted her head. "So, a centaur?" "With a horse's face on her stomach." Blake added.

Dipper: M...maybe you should carve something from real life.

Mabel starts sketching again before showing Dipper her new picture.

Mabel: Like a waffle, with big arms!

"She has a pretty big imagination." Yang smiled.

Dipper: Y-okay... Or, you know, something else. Like- like someone in your family.

Stan walks in groggily without his pants on.

Stan: Kids, have you seen my pants?

Stan puts on foot on a briefcase and looks around like an explorer as a ceiling light shines down on him. Mabel's eyes turn big and sparkly. Mabel turns around and looks up. "Oh no..." Weiss muttered. "She's not..."

Mabel: Oh, muse. You work in mysterious ways.

Stan: Why's your sister talking to the ceiling?

Mabel grabs sculpting tools puts on some safety googles and begins working on the sculpture and we get a montage of Mabel working. "She's not really going to carve a statue of Stan not wearing pants, right?" The heiress said afterwards. "If she did, I doubt Stan would approve of it." Blake said. After Mabel is finally done she steps back towards Dipper and Soos to look over her work.

Mabel: I think... it needs more glitter.

Soos: Agreed.

Soos hands Mabel a bucket of glitter and Mabel throws it onto the sculpture. Stan then walks in with his pants on but now he has lost his shoes.

Stan: I found my pants but now I'm missing my-!

Stan looks up to see the wax figure and screams in surprise and crawls away like a crab from it as Soos and the twins look on.

Mabel: What do you think?

Stan: I think... the Wax Museum's back in business!

We cut outside the Mystery shack where a giant banner is hung with the words "Wax Museum of Mystery Grand Re-Opening. Soos is directing traffic... with corn dogs and even takes a bite out of one. Dipper and Wendy are working the admission table next to the stage that has a banner that says "The Eighth Wonder of The World."

Dipper: I can't believe this many people showed up.

Wendy: I know, right? Your uncle probably bribed them or something.

Dipper: He bribed me.

Dipper pulls out a dollar and Wendy pulls one out as well. They both chuckled. "Nice!" Yang grinned. We cut to Mabel on the stage with the wax sculptures and hers covered by a cloth, looking excited as Stan walks on stage to the microphone to make an announcement. Stan clears his throat and tapes the microphone creating a very annoying sound causing a lot of people to cringe and cover their ears.

Stan: You all know me, folks! Town darling, "Mr. Mystery." Please, ladies, control yourselves!

We cut to three ladies in the audience, a farm one, a fat one, and an old one with dull/not interested looks on their face, all with flies buzzing around them. We cut back to Stan.

Stan: As you know, I always bring the people of this fair town novelties and befuddlements, the likes of which the world, has never known. But enough about me. Behold... me!

Stan takes off the cloth to revel a happy looking sparkling him giving everyone the thumbs up. "Well, at least he's wearing pants." Blake said. Soos presents with his sound mixing keyboard.

Soos keyboard: (Fanfare) Ye-ah! Ye-ye-ye-ye-ye-ah!

A miner and a fisherman in the crowd starts to politely clap while everyone else either coughs or just gives a dull look.

Stan: And now a word from our own Mabelangelo!

Stan gives the microphone to Mabel.

Mabel: It's Mabel. Thank you for coming! I made this sculpture with my own two hands! (Raises her hands in victory) It's covered in my blood, sweat, tears, and other fluids!

Audience: Ugh! Ewwww!

"Uhh..." Ruby uttered. The members of Team RWBY didn't know what to say about that. "I'm not even gonna say word." Weiss said as her follow teammates agreed.

Mabel: (Chuckles) Yeah. I will now take questions! (Points to someone off-screen) You there!

The crazy man from the last episode stands up. "Hey, it's him again!" Yang said.

?: Old Man McGucket, local kook.

"Local kook?" Ruby said. "Well, at least he's aware." Her partner added.

Old Man McGucket: Are the wax figures alive? And follow-up question, can I survive the wax-man uprising?

Mabel: Um...Yes! Next question! (Points to someone else)

?: Toby Determined, Gravity Falls Gossiper. Do you really think this constitutes a wonder of the world?

Stan: Your microphone's a turkey baster, Toby.

Toby: It certainly is-

Stan: (Points to someone else) Next question.

?: Shandra Jimenez, a real reporter. Your flyers promised free pizza with admission to this event. Is this true?

Audience: That's what I heard!... Come on!... What a rip-off!... Pizza?... I want my pizza!...

The crowd starts to get angry, Dipper and Wendy look at each other nervously. Stan then looked at them, really nervous.

Stan: That was a typo. Good night, everyone!

Stan throws a smoke pellet onto the ground and disappears from the stage, appearing right next to the admission table and running away with the money. A fat guy with a shirt that says "Free Pizza" on it with a Pizza picture on as well, sighs and stands up and sadly walks away, the fat lady starts kicking and throwing chairs, and The lumberjack from the last episode punches one of the pole holding up the banner.

?: In your face!

The audience then angrily leaves the Mystery shack as Dipper and Wendy watch on with nervous looks on their face as Mabel walks up to join them and leans on the admission table.

Mabel: I think that went well.

"Well, he ripped a lot of people off." The brawler said. "I'm not surprised." The heiress added. We cut to nighttime at the Mystery Shack as an owl hoots, then we cut to the living room where Stan is counting the money and Mabel is polishing Wax Stan.

Stan: Hot pumpkin pie! Look at all this cash! And I owe it all to one person.

Mabel looks at Stan with big eyes.

Stan: This guy!

Stan points to Wax Stan, then Mabel playfully punches him in the stomach.

Stan: Ooh! (Noggies Mabel) Yeah, you too, ya little gremlin. Now you kids wash up. We got another long day of fleecing rubes tomorrow. Go, go! (Sighs) Kids.

We cut to the TV with Duck-tective back on. The Constable and Duck-tective are with a criminal who is all tied up.

Constable: Well, duck-tective, it seems you've really quacked the case.

Duck-tective: (Quacking; subtitles) Don't patronize me.

We cut back to Stan laughing... While watching Duck-tective with Wax Stan? "Wow, he's either really lonely or self-absorb." Blake said. "Probably both!" Yang guessed.

Stan: Stupid duck! Well, I'm gonna use the john. You need anything?

Wax Stan just stands there smiling, sparkling and giving the thumbs up, Stan just laughs.

Stan: I love this guy! Don't you go nowhere.

Stan leaves the room. "Why do I have a feeling it's gonna go somewhere?" Ruby said. "Usually when someone leaves the room, something is bound to happen while they're gone." Blake explained. We cut to outside the shack where the wind starts to pick up, blowing the flags and spinning the question mark wind compass. We then cut back inside, where Dipper and Mabel were in the bathroom brushing their teeth.

Mabel: Dipper, you wanna do a toothbrush race?

Dipper: Okay.

Stan: (Off-screen; Screaming) No... No... Noooooo!

Dipper and Mabel look at each other before running out of the bathroom into the living and we see Stan sweating and looking nervous.

Stan: Wax Stan! He's been... m-murdered!

Dipper and Mabel look down and we see a now headless Wax Stan with his head no where in site as a clock bongs three times as the camera pans out with each bong. Mabel faints but Dipper stops her from falling onto the floor. "Looks like only the head went somewhere." Yang said. "Does this count as a murder?" Ruby asked. "Obviously not." Weiss answered bluntly. We cut to outside to see the goat munching on grass as red and blue lights flash around him. The goat turns his head to see a police car parked in front of the mystery shack. "They brought the police into this." Yang pointed out. "Well, it's not murder but it is breaking and entering." The heiress said. "That is, if the culprit wasn't already in the house." "Well, it definitely wasn't Dipper or Mabel, they were brushing their teeth and they wouldn't do something like that to their uncle." Ruby stated. "Well, it couldn't have been Stan." Yang added. "I mean, why would he fake something like that?" We then cut back to the living room where two police officers are with Stan and the twins.

Stan: I got up to use the john, right? And when I come back, blammo! He's headless!

Mabel: My expert handcrafting... besmirched. (Crying) Besmiiiirrrched!

Dipper kneels down and puts his hand on Mabel's shoulder.

Dipper: Who would do something like this?

?: What's your opinion, Sheriff Blubs?

Sheriff Blubs: Look, we'd love to help you folks, but let's face the facts... this case is unsolvable.

Dipper, Mabel & Stan: What?!

Stan: You take that back, Sheriff Blubs!

Dipper: You're kidding, right? There must be evidence, motives. You know, I could help if you want.

Mabel: He's really good. He figured out who was eating our tin cans!

Dipper: All signs pointed to the goat.

Stan: Yeah, yeah! Let the boy help. He's got a little brain up in his head.

Blubs: Oooh! Would you look at what we got here! City boy thinks he's gonna solve a mystery with his fancy computer phone!

?: City boooy! City booooooy!

Blubs: You are adorable!

Dipper: Adorable?

Blubs and his deputy laugh as Dipper gets mad.

Blubs: Look, P.J.'s, how about you leave the investigating to the grown-ups, okay?

"Ooh, you're gonna regret that, cops." Yang smirked. Just then Blubs's walkie-talkie went off.

Man over walkie-talkie: Attention, all units. Steve is about to fit an entire cantaloupe in his mouth. Repeat, an entire cantaloupe!

?: It's a 23-16!

Blubs: Let's move!

Blubs and his deputy run out of the living room laughing all the way.

Dipper: That's it! Mabel, you and me are going to find the jerk who did this, and get back that head. Then we'll see who's adorable.

Dipper then out a very small sneeze and Mabel smiles.

Mabel: Aww, you sneeze like a kitten!

"Aww!" Ruby smiled. "That was kinda cute!" "Yep!" Her sister agreed. Dipper glares angrily at her and the screen cuts to black.
We cut to the Mystery shack to next morning then to Dipper and Mabel in the living room having made it look like a real crime scene.

Dipper: Wax Stan has lost his head and its up to us to find it.

Mabel is taking pictures of the... body? Dipper looks at the suspect board.

Dipper: There were a lot of unhappy customers at the unveiling. The murderer could have been anyone.

Mabel: Yeah! Even us!

Dipper pulls out the Journal and looks through the pages.

Dipper: In this town, anything is possible. Ghosts, zombies, it could be months before we find our first clue.

Mabel: Hey, look! A clue.

Camera pans down to show footprints in the carpet. Ruby laughed. "Wow, if only real-life mysteries were that easy." "Then they wouldn't be mysteries anymore." Blake deadpanned.

Dipper: (off-screen) Footprints in the shag carpet!

Mabel: (off-screen) That's weird. They've got a hole in them.

Camera cuts back to the twins as they follow the footprints to behind the living chair.

Dipper: And they're leading to...

To their shock they find an axe, they take it to Soos who is in the gift shop and he inspects it.

Dipper: So, what do you think?

Soos: In my opinion: this is an ax.

"Obviously." Weiss snarked.

Mabel: Wait a minute. The lumberjack!

Dipper & Mabel: Of Course!
...
We flashback to the lumberjack punching the pole and the screen is black and white.

Lumberjack: In your face!

Flashback ends.
...
Dipper: He was furious when he didn't get that free pizza.

Mabel: Furious enough, for murder!

Soos: Oh, you mean Manly Dan. Yeah, he hangs out at this crazy intense biker joint downtown.

Mabel: Then that's where we're going.

Soos: Dude, this is awesome. You two are like: The Mystery Twins!

Dipper: Don't call us that.

"I kinda liked it." The leader sipped some soda. "Really? Isn't it kinda cliché?" Her sister asked. Dipper and Mabel run outside and we see Stan pulling a coffin out of his car and sets it down.

Stan: Hey, give me a hand with this coffin, will ya? I'm doin' a memorial service for wax Stan. Something small, but classy.

Dipper: Sorry, Grunkle Stan, but we have got a big break in the case!

Mabel: Break in the case!

Dipper: We're heading to the town right now to interrogate the murderer.

Mabel takes the axe out of Dipper's backpack and shows it to Stan.

Mabel: We have an axe! (Makes horror movie screeching sounds) REE, REE, REE!

Stan puts on his thinking face.

Stan: Hm, it seem like the kind of thing that responsible parents wouldn't want you to do...

"But you're not a parent!" Yang grinned.

Stan: Good thing I'm an uncle. Avenge me kids! AVENGE MEEE!

We cut to Gravity falls town, where Dipper and Mabel are hiding in an alley, Dipper ducks behind a dumpster while Mabel hides inside it.

Dipper: This is the place.

Dipper and Mabel peak around the corner and see a big black guy with tattoos all over his body under a sign saying "Skull Fracture" on it. They duck back behind the alley when he turns his head toward them.

Dipper: Got the fake IDs?

Mabel gives Dipper the fake IDs and Dipper looks over them.

Dipper: Here goes nothing.

Camera cuts to the bodyguard looking at an ID then sets it down and folds his arms.

?: Sorry, but we don't serve miners.

Camera shows a miner. Yang chuckled while Weiss rolled her eyes.

Miner: Daaaannnnng'nab it!

The miner then spits on the ground and walks away grumbling. Dipper and Mabel walk up to the bodyguard and show him... The worst fake IDs ever!

Mabel: We're here to interrogate Manly Dan the lumber jack for the murder of wax Stan. (Mabel gives hers a shake, rolling the plastic eyes on it) Dedledle-e.

"Is he really gonna fall for that?" Weiss said. "Yes." The faunus said bluntly.

?: Works for me.

He opens the door for the twins and inside we see a lot of biker guys fighting and drinking, sounds of glass breaking and guys shouting are heard everywhere, as they walk through the club Mabel steps over an un-moving man on the ground.

Mabel: He's resting.

"Yeah... We'll go with that." Yang said.

Dipper: Alright, let's just try to blend in, ok?

Mabel: You got it, Dippingsauce.

Mabel sits down at a counter and talks to a very gruff, tough bearded man with a tattoo that is a sword with the banner "bats" draped across it.

Mabel: Hey there, fellow restaurant patron! (Pats his arm) Bap!

The man growls at her as we cut to Manly Dan who is playing an arm wrestling game as Dipper approaches him.

Manly Dan: AAAAAGHHHH!

Dipper: Manly Dan, just the guy I wanted to see. Where were you last night?

Manly Dan: Punchin' the clock.

Dipper: You were at work.

Manly Dan: No, I was punchin' that clock!

He points outside and we see a clock that is broken and stuck at 10 o'clock.

Dipper: 10 o'clock, the time of the murder. So, I guess you've never seen this before?

Dipper pulls out the axe and shows it to Manly Dan.

Manly Dan: Listen little girl!

Dipper: Hey, actually I'm a-

Manly Dan: -I wouldn't pick my teeth with that ax. It's left handed! I only use my right hand, the MANLY HAND!

Dan then rips off the machines arm and starts to beat it as the skinny guy again shows a cheers with glee.

?: Get 'im! Get 'im! (Giggles)

Dipper: Left handed...

We cut back to Mabel and the biker who are... playing with a cootie catcher? "Huh, I haven't seen those since we were kids, Rubes." Yang said. "Looks like Mabel made a new friend." Her sister giggled. "If she can be friends with him, she can be friends with anybody." Weiss said. "Except gnomes." Blake deadpanned.

Mabel & Biker: 3,4,5,6.

Mabel: (Gasps) Your wife is going to be beautiful.

Biker: (Pumps his arm) Yes!

Dipper: Mabel, big break in the case!

Dipper and Mabel left, leaving the biker alone.

Biker: But will she love me?!

"Aww." Ruby said. "Poor guy." We cut to Dipper and Mabel walking through town, Dipper has a list.

Dipper: It's a left handed ax.

Camera shows a list of suspects with the names, Manly Dan, Old Man McGucket, That Fat Guy, Angry Lady, Mikey R., Uncle Phil and Susie with a left hand and right hand check list.

Dipper: These are all our suspects. Manly Dan is right handed, that means all we have to do is find our left handed suspect and we've got our killer.

Mabel: Oh man, we are on fire today! (Fires finger guns upward) Pa-zow, Pa-zow, Pa-zow!

Dipper: Let's find that murderer.

Dipper and Mabel fist bump and the scenes change. We cut to the dump where Old Man McGucket lives and Mabel waves at him with his right hand... that has an alligator on it? "Nope, not him." Ruby said. Dipper crosses "Right Handed" on McGucket.
We cut to Dipper who puts on a fake mustache in front of a house, he sets the box down and knocks on the door and out comes the guy who loves free pizza. Dipper gives him the clipboard and he signs it with his right hand. "Right handed again." Weiss said. Dipper gives deadpan look as he picked up the box and walks away. The pizza guy looks down sadly, Dipper checks right handed again.
Mabel whistles to the lady across the street and throws a baseball at her that she catches with her right hand... "Right hande-" Blake began. The lady then crushes the baseball with her bare hand. "Damn, talk about hardcore!" The brawler exclaimed. Dipper checks right handed. Dipper and Mabel approach a house, Dipper knocks on the door and out comes a man who has both his arms broken. "No handed." Yang joked. Dipper etches him out. We see Dipper continuing to check right handed until his pencil breaks, then he turns over the notebook page.

Dipper: (Gasps) Mabel, there's only one person left on this list.

Mabel: (Gasps) Of course, it all adds up!

We cut to a police car coming up to the Gravity falls Gossiper the police and the twins approach the door, the police armed with batons and flashlights.

Blubs: You kids better be right about this or you'll never get the end of it.

Dipper: The evidence is irrefutable.

Mabel: It's so irrefutable.

?: I gonna get to use my match stick!

Blubs: You ready? You ready little fella?

They both start cheering and poking each other with the batons then turn to the door.

Dipper: On 3! 1, 2, ...

The police kick the door in.

?: Yaaaahhhh!

Blubs: Nobody move! This is a raid!

Toby jumps in fright and falls out of his chair.

Toby: What is this? Some kind of raid?

"They just said it was a raid." Weiss said. The Policemen knocks over a lamp.

?: Derp!

Dipper and Mabel approach Toby.

Dipper: Toby Determined, you're under arrest for murder of the wax body of Grunkle Stan.

Mabel: You have the right to remain impressed with our awesome detective work.

The twins high five.

Toby: Gobbling goose feathers! I don't understand!

Dipper: Then allow me to explain.
...
Flashback begins with everything black and white. With Toby asking the questions to Stan. The holds out his hand after seeing everyone leave. Then shows Toby with an axe chopping off Wax Stan's head.

Dipper: (Voiceover) You were hoping that Grunkle Stan's new attraction would be the story that saved your failing newspaper. But when the show was a flop, you decided to go out and make your own headline.

Flashback ends.
...
We cut back to Mabel holding up his newspaper with Wax Stan's picture on the headlines.

Dipper: But you were sloppy-
...
We flashback to the footprint impressions in the carpet. Then shows Toby's hole foot and is holding his turkey baster in his left hand.

Dipper: (Voiceover) and all the clues pointed to a shabby shoed reporter who was caught left handed.

Flashback ends.
...
Mabel crumples up the newspaper and throws it away.

Mabel: Toby Determined, you're yesterday's news.

Toby: Boy, you're little knees must be sore... from jumping to conclusions. (Dances) Hachacha! I had nothing to do with that murder.

Dipper/Mabel: I knew it! Wait, what did you say? Nothing? You say nothing?/Huh? What? Could you repeat?

Blubs: Then where were you at the night of the break-in?

Toby then pulls his shirt nervously and shows them a videotape of him alone in his office at 10:00 pulling out a cardboard copy of Shandra Jimenez out of the closet.

Toby: Finally, we can be alone, cardboard cutout of TV news reporter Shandra Jimenez!

Toby then starts to kiss it and the camera pulls away and shows Toby, the twins and the police looking grossed out. The girls pretty much reacted the same way Yang did when she saw Jaune in footie pajamas. "Yikes..." Blake said. "This guy has some serious issues..." Weiss muttered.

Cops & twins: Eeeewwww! Yuck!

Blubs: Time state confirms. Toby, you're off the hook. You freak of nature.

Toby: Hooray!

Dipper: But, but it has to be him! Check the ax for fingerprints!

The police check the axe.

Blubs: No prints at all.

Dipper: No prints?

"Maybe the culprit wore gloves?" Ruby suggested.

?: Hey I got a headline for you: city kids waste everyone's time.

The Police and Toby laugh at the twins who look around embarrassed we cut back to Toby as the video still plays behind him.

Toby: Boy, I'd be pretty embarrassed if I was you two.

"Said the guy who kisses a cardboard lady in private." The faunus snarked as her leader passed the popcorn to her. We cut back to the parlor room where Stan has set everything up for the funeral of Wax Stan. Stan walks up to make a speech and the camera cuts to Soos, the twins and wax figures sitting in the chairs.

Stan: Kids, Soos, lifeless wax figures, thank you all for coming.

Soos blows his nose.

Stan: Some people might say it's wrong for a man to love a wax replica of himself.

Soos jumps and points in Stan's direction.

Soos: They're wrong!

Stan: Easy Soos. Wax Stan, I hope you're picking pockets in wax heaven. (Wipes eye) I'm sorry, I got glitter in my eye! (Crying)

Stan then runs out of the room and Soos follows him also crying.

Soos: Ohhhhh duuuude...

Dipper: (Sighs) Those cops are right about me.

Mabel: Dipper, we've come so far, we can't give up now.

Dipper stands up and walks to the Coffin.

Dipper: But I considered everything: the weapon, the motive, the clues. (sighs)

Dipper: Wax Stan shoe has a hole in it...

Mabel: All the wax guys have that. It's where the pole thingy attaches to their stand dealy.

"Wait a minute..." Ruby muttered before suddenly shouting "Did they do it?!" This startled her teammates a bit. Dipper's eye widen in realization.

Dipper: Wait a minute, what has a hole on its shoe and no fingerprints? Mabel! The murderers are-

?: Standing right behind you.

Dipper and Mabel turned around and see all the wax figures start to come to life and Dipper gasps as the camera shows the wax figures he lists. "They did do it!" The leader cheered. "Huh, it really is like that movie." Yang said.

Dipper: Wax Sherlock Holmes! Wax Shakespeare! Wax Coolio?

Wax Coolio: Wha s'up Holmes?

Then one of the Wax figures takes the axe away from Mabel who backs away behind Dipper.

Mabel: Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!

Wax Holmes: Congratulations, my two amateur sleuths, you have unburied the truth, and now we're going to bury you.

The wax figures surrounded them and the screen cuts to black. We open to the parlor room as the wax sculptures approach Dipper and Mabel.

Wax Holmes: Bravo, Dipper Pines. You've discovered our little secret.

Wax Holmes takes Wax Stan's head from his cape. Then turns to his cohorts.

Wax Holmes: Applaud, everyone, applaud sarcastically.

The wax sculptures give an applause.

Wax Holmes: Uh, no that sounds too sincere. Slow clap.

They then give a nice slow clap.

Wax Holmes: There we go, nice and condescending.

Dipper: But... how is this possible? You're made of wax!

Mabel: Are you... magic?

Wax Holmes: (Laughs) Are we magic? She wants to know if we're magic! (Stops laughing) We're CURSED!

Wax Sculptures: CURSED! CURSED!

Wax Holmes: Cursed to come to life whenever the moon is waxing. Your uncle bought us many years ago at a garage sale.

Wax Coolio: A haunted garage sale, son!
...
We flashback to a house overlooking a cemetery and an owl in a tree, then pan over to a garage that Stan is standing in front of with the owner.

?: I must warn you, these statues come at a terrible price.

Stan looks at the price tag.

Stan: Twenty dollars?! I'll just take 'em when you're not looking.

?: What?!

Stan: I said I was gonna rob you.

We then cut to the wax museum in it's hay day as people pay admission to come in and take pictures with the Wax Sculptures and a kid kicks one in the crotch.

Wax Holmes: (Voiceover) And so, the Mystery Shack Wax Collection was born. By day, we would be the playthings of man.

We then cut to nighttime with the wax figures messing around the shack.

Wax Coolio: (Voiceover) But when your uncle went to sleep, we would rule da night.

The Camera pans through a kitchen where Wax Coolio is reading a book while, one wax sculpture is flicking his hair while two others drink stuff from the fridge.

Wax Coolio: Hey, I told you to stop that.

?: Make me!

We then cut to wax Holmes with another wax sculpture taking a picture of a sleeping Stan as Wax Holmes pokes his nose. While laughing they take a picture and the flash wakes Stan up.

Stan: Huh?

Wax Holmes and the other wax sculpture freeze then Stan falls back asleep. They sigh in relief then go back to the joke they were pulling on Stan.

Wax Holmes: (Voiceover) It was a charmed life for us cursed beings...

We then cut to Stan who is no pouring dust out the Wax Museum admittance box then sadly puts the Wax figures away in a storage closet.

Wax Holmes: (Voiceover) That is, until your uncle closed up shop.

We then see the years roll by and storage room gets covered by wallpaper and then the years roll by again and it gets worn out and Soos is seen cleaning the floors when he sees a doorknob and sees the hole then puts it into the door. We then cut to Wax Holmes approaching Wax Stan from behind.

Wax Holmes: (Voiceover) We've been waiting ten years to get our revenge on Stan for locking us away...

Wax Holmes then approaches wax Stan and the shadow shows him cutting of Wax Stan's head only to see it's not the one he wants and picks up Wax Stan's head.

Wax Holmes: (Voiceover) But we got the wrong guy.

Wax Holmes then hears Stan coming back into the room and slips out before he is seen and the flashback ends.
...

Dipper: So, you're trying to murder Grunkle Stan for real?!

Mabel: You were right all along, Dipper! Wax people are creepy!

Wax Holmes: Enough! Now that you know our secret, you must... die.

All the Wax Sculptures start to growl and their eyes roll into the back of their heads as the approach Dipper and Mabel who slowly back away to the table. "Well that's disturbing." Blake said.

Mabel: What do we do, what do we do?

Dipper: I don't know.

They pick up stuff behind them on the table and start to throw it at the Wax Figures and it does nothing until Dipper throws some hot coffee at Wax Genghis Khan who screams in pain.

Mabel: That's it! We can melt them with hotty melty things!

They both grab some electric candles on the table and hold them like swords as the approach the Wax Figures who back away slowly.

Dipper: Anyone move and we'll melt you into candles!

Mabel: Decorative Candles!

Wax Holmes: You really think you can defeat us?

Dipper/Mabel: I-I don't really know. I'm not-I'm not really sure./It's worth a shot, I guess.

Wax Holmes: So be it... Attack!

The wax figures charge two of them try to get Mabel with the axe but Mabel ducks and they accidently cut of one of their own. Wax Shakespeare tries to grab Mabel only to have his arms cut of by the candle and he runs away. Then one of the arms jumps up and gets Mabel in a headlock, Mabel moves over to the door and slams Shakespeare's fingers on it. Meanwhile Dipper fight some Wax figures as well and makes puns as well.

Dipper: Interview this, Larry King!

Dipper decapitates Wax Larry King.

Wax Larry King: My neck! My beautiful neck!

Another Wax Figure comes from behind but accidentally grans the candle and his hand starts to melt, Dipper cuts him in half.

Dipper: Jokes on you, Groucho!

Wax Groucho: I've heard about a cutting remark but this is ridiculous! Hey, why is there nothing in my hand?

The brawler of team RWBY snickered quietly. As Wax Groucho's top half slides off him, Wax Genghis Khan charges at Dipper only to trip and Dipper dodges causing him to fall into the fire place.

Dipper: Ha, Genghis Khan! You fell harder than the... uh... I don't know, uh, Qin Dynasty? Heh. Yeah. Alright.

He gets back up a resumes the fight. Meanwhile Mabel has somehow cut off Wax Coolio's head and is swinging it around hitting other wax figures.

Wax Coolio: Ow, ow, ow, ow! What's up with that?

Mabel then notices something as Dipper cuts off a Wax Figures leg.

Mabel: Dipper! Watch out!

Dipper turns around and sees Wax Holmes approaching him.

Wax Holmes: Alright. Let's get this taken care of.

Wax Holmes sets Wax Stan's head on the horn of a rhino trophy and takes a sword of the wall. He then swats the electric candle out of Dipper's hand and it smashes on the ground. He then raises his sword to strike Dipper.

Mabel: Catch!

Mabel throws a fire poker with a hot red tip at Dipper who catches it and defends against Wax Holmes's sword. "It's a heat sword!" Ruby said. Wax Holmes keeps attacking and Dipper keeps defending as they leave the parlor and goes up the attic stairs and into the attic continuing their duel. Then Wax Holmes corners Dipper.

Wax Holmes: Once your family is out of the way, we'll rule the night once more!

Dipper looks out the window and sees a light.

Dipper: Don't count on it!

Dipper dives under Wax Holmes and makes his way out the window and starts to climb the roof, Wax Holmes follows him.

Wax Holmes: Come back here, you brat!

Dipper climbs on top of the shack sign and tries to maintain his balance as Wax Holmes climbs up and they resume their duel while still trying to maintain balance. Wax Holmes moves to strike Dipper but instead hits the 'S' on the Shack sign causing it to fall. "No! Not the S!" Ruby said. "Now it's the Mystery Hack!" "Well, that's probably not good for business." Yang said.

Wax Holmes: You really think you can outwit me boy? I'm Sherlock bleeding Holmes! Have you seen my magnifying glass?! It's enormous!

Dipper throws the picker away and climbs over the Mystery sign and climbs down on the other side sliding down the roof but catches
himself and hides behind the chimney and catches his breathe. He peaks out and sees Wax Holmes nowhere in sight, he breathes a sigh of relief...then looks to his left and sees Wax Holmes right there and kicks Dipper then points his sword at him and raises it above his head.

Wax Holmes: Any last words?

Dipper: Um... you got any sunscreen?

Wax Holmes: Got any-? What?

Wax Holmes looks up and sees he is starting to melt and turns around to see the sun coming up as he starts to completely melt. "Yep! The classic 'Kill the Vampire' ending!" The brawler said.

Wax Holmes: No.

Dipper: You know, letting me lead you outside? Probably not you sharpest decision.

Wax Holmes: Outsmarted by a child in short pants! No! Fiddlesticks! Humbugs! Titer, total kerfuffle. Butter hullabaloo.

Dipper: Case closed!

Dipper then rubs his hands together causing dust to form and making him do his adorable kitten sneeze. Wax Holmes's head then laughs.

Wax Holmes: Ha ha ha! You sneeze like a kitten! Those policemen were right, you're adorable! Adorable!

The rest of Wax Holmes then falls off the roof and lands on the ground with a splat and Dipper looks grossed out.

Dipper: E-ew.

We cut back to Mabel throwing the rest of the wax figures into the fireplace leaving only Wax Shakespeare's head

Wax Shakespeare: Though our group be left in twain, man of wax shall rise agayn!

Mabel picks up the head and prepares to throw it in.

Mabel: Y'know any limericks?

Wax Shakespeare: Uh... there once was a dude from Kentucky...

Mabel: Nope!

Mabel then throws him into the fire as Dipper enters the room. "Well, he just got... burn? Eh? Get it?" Yang grinned as her sister throws her corgi pillow at her.

Mabel: Dipper! You're okay! You solved the mystery after all.

Dipper gets a chair and picks up Wax Stan's head off of the Rhino Trophy.

Dipper: I couldn't have done it without my sidekick.

Mabel: No offense Dipper, but you're the sidekick.

Dipper: What? Says who? Have people been saying that? Have you heard that?

Stan walks back into the parlor room and his eyes widen in shock.

Stan: Hot Belgian waffles! What happened to my parlor!?

Mabel: Your wax figures turned out to be evil, so we fought them to the death!

Dipper: I decapitated Larry King.

Stan: Ha ha! You kids and your imaginations!

Dipper: On the bright side, though, look what we found.

Dipper gives Wax Stan's head to Stan.

Stan: My head! Ha ha! I missed this guy! You done good kids! Alright, line up for some affectionate noogie-ing.

Dipper/Mabel: Oh I'm not so sure about that. Is there any other alternative...?/Oh uh... I'm not so sure...

Stan gives both of twins noggies and the whole family laughs then they hear a police siren and look outside and sees Blubs and his partner pulling in.

Blubs: Solved the case yet, boy? I'm so confident you're gonna say no, that I'm gonna take a long, slow sip from my cup of coffee.

"He's gonna regret that!" Ruby said.

Dipper: Actually, the answer is yes.

Dipper shows them Wax Stan's head which cause Blubs to do a spit take of coffee on his partner who screams and spits coffee right back and this goes on for awhile until the both scream and drive away.

Blubs: It burns! It burns!

?: My eyes!

The Pines family laughs as they drive away and hear them crash into something.

Stan: They got scalded!

Dipper: So, did you get rid of all the wax figures?

Mabel: I am ninety-nine percent sure that I did!

"They missed one, didn't they." Weiss said. "We're ninety-nine percent sure they did!" Her partner joked.

Dipper: Good enough for me!

The camera then pans to a vent where the head of Wax Larry King watches the Pines family and laughs until he sees a rat right next to him. "Not Larry King!" The sisters said in unison.

Wax Larry King: So you're a rat. Tell me about that.

The rat then rips off Wax Larry King's ear and runs away.

Wax Larry King: Hey, get back here!

He then turns around and hops after the rat.

Wax Larry King: I'm hopping! I'm hopping after a rat that stole my ear!

End Credits

Mabel holds two sweaters in front of the mirror trying to decide what to wear.

Mabel: Hmm. Hey Dipper, which do you think is better? Sequins or llama hair?

Wax Larry King hops by a vent and sees Mabel.

Wax Larry King: The llama hair. Llamas are nature's greatest warriors.

Wax Larry King then hops away.

Mabel: Thanks Dipper!

Mabel leaves the room as Dipper looks around confused then goes right back to reading.

Episode ends.

"Yeah..." Blake said. "That wasn't Dipper." "I wonder if Larry King will come back!" Yang finished her soda. "I doubt it." Weiss answered bluntly. "That episode was pretty good!" Ruby said. "By the way, what's the code for this one Weiss?" The heiress handed Ruby the list. The leader took it and read it out loud. "It says, 'He's still in the vents.'" "So this code is just pointing out the obvious..." Weiss said. "Anyway, we have class tomorrow so we'll watch one more episode before heading to bed." "Right!" And with that, Ruby put on the final episode for the night.
...

Me: "...Leave me alone, Cipher..."

Bill: "Oh, come on. If you want, I can help you with this chapter."

Me: "Why? So you could take over Remnant?

Bill: "Maybe."

Me: "Ha, I doubt even Cinder would want you there!"

Bill: "Ha-ha-ha! Hmm... If I were to meet up with Lil' Miss Matches... She'll be my puppet in no time!"

Me: "I don't know... She can be pretty strong..."

Bill: "Why? Because she sunk one of your favorite sh-"

Me: "No-no-NO-NO-NO-NONONONONO!"

Bill: "Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Your reaction to that is always hilarious!"

Me: "...You're mean sometimes, you know that?"

Bill: "I know~! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"