Comments: 6
Ticklesfordays [2014-02-22 12:01:27 +0000 UTC]
More league stories like this!!
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oneortheother [2013-02-23 05:05:10 +0000 UTC]
It seems appropriate to start at the story you feel proudest of xD
Being a complete newbie to LoL, the lore references all went over my head, but even so I quite enjoy the quietly serene Karma (who I thought was secretly enjoying herself quite a lot) and the hyperaggressive Widowmaker here.
Hehe, and as you know, there's nothing hotter than a tough girl being broken by tickling! Though maybe considering how lovey dovey AV is, he would say something else! I'm also quite surprised at the lack of romance here, though I'm sure I'm only pointing that out cos I've read your other stories xD
Minor typo: Minutes?Hours?Days? I guess Evelynn was too busy tickled out of her mind to remember to use the spacebar xD
There were also a few typos, (like Evelynnwas) so a bit of double checking wouldn't hurt.
The tickling descriptions are terrific and while as a foot fan, naturally I highly enjoyed it, it did seem a bit odd that Karma neglected to tickle the rest of the body. You got the Widowmaker in shackles, you might as well take advantage of that!
The little mental battle between Karma trying to distract Evelynn so she didn't realize her powers were waning was also excellent. I loved this line. "Karma had her fingers between the Widowmaker’s toes again, and this time would not leave."
Also in what must be a testament to my memory, I noticed you changed a bit in this story compared to it in TT.
In TT it was:
With one final feral scream, just as Karma had returned to the balls of her feet, Evelynn summoned the shadows to her.
Here:
With one final feral scream, Evelynn summoned the shadows to her.
I remember cos that was one of my favourite lines (:
GO MY MEMORY.
The ending where even a stray petal of grass is enough to drive the mighty Widowmaker screaming with laughter was a terrific touch, and I think the only way it could have been better if she had sworn to get revenge on Karma and see how she liked a dose of her own medicine (could that happen? Please tell me that's on the cards, it would be awesome!)
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AnnalsVotary In reply to oneortheother [2013-02-23 06:15:40 +0000 UTC]
That's... very odd. The original file and the one I put on TT didn't have any of those weirdly spaced typos. Must be because I'm posting here? Something odd. At any rate, I'll definitely comb through it and do the necessary fixes. There may even be more of those in my other stories. Also odd that I made that change, as I liked the original more. Hmm...
But thank you! As much as I love writing out romances, it wouldn't be appropriate here. The reason I focused specifically on her feet was because her older model used kicks as primary attacks. It seemed right for Karma to solely (haaaahaaaa) tickle those spots because it's a lot more insulting for Evelynn. Also I'm glad you enjoyed the mental battles, those are always fun to write and I'm glad I got the desired effect.
As for a revenge story... maybe. Lore-wise, it's unlikely. But then again, technically, so were the events of this story happening, so who knows? It would definitely be worth doing and I am planning on pursuing further LoL stories.
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oneortheother In reply to AnnalsVotary [2013-02-23 06:57:03 +0000 UTC]
Maybe it's a conspiracy!
Revenge would be delicious, definitely (:
Bahahaha, I bet Evelnynn would be quite a ferocious tickler! Karma wouldn't know what hit her xD
AND MOAR MENTAL BATTLES!
MAKE IT HAPPEN, AV (:
Good pun btw xD
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