Comments: 34
Apheline In reply to EmoAARtist93 [2010-07-12 07:20:32 +0000 UTC]
lol, first I just want to say that that must have been a pretty awesome picture in your head, a mob of crazed anti-gay people trying to get into a locked walk-in refrigerator. As long as you don't take it seriously anyway. In reality it would be pretty scary...
You are totally right about adding some stuff about the creatures outside, I was trying to keep it ambiguous, but them being "normal" (and I use the term loosely) human beings is too ambiguous.
As for how I came up with the setting of a fridge, I'm really not sure. I just thought that these girls were chased into a store or restaurant and where would you go to barricade yourself? Where's the safest, most secure place to lock yourself into? Plus, cold air kinda turns me on and I wanted to write something erotic-ish, so it seemed kinda natural. I wish I had a better reason, but really, it just sort of came out that way as soon as I started thinking about it about 10 minutes before I got sick of laying in the dark and decided I wouldn't be sleeping til I got the idea out of my head.
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Secrets-Of-Paranoia [2010-07-08 23:15:36 +0000 UTC]
I like how you revealed just enough about the situation, and a little insight to her thoughts without it getting too long or uninteresting. Really good work, I'll certainly be thinking about what could have come through the door for awhile. ^^ My only complaint is the big blocks of text; You may need to break them up.
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Secrets-Of-Paranoia In reply to Apheline [2010-07-09 01:52:29 +0000 UTC]
It's alright, the width of the literature block is much smaller on DA and the don't even keep it consistent. And you're quite welcome, I liked it. ^^
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Ard3113 [2010-07-08 06:40:59 +0000 UTC]
It's just the primal instinct my dear ! but this has not anything to be related to the procreation... Is just the wish of not being alone, not going away alone... Fine short tale !
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Apheline In reply to Ard3113 [2010-07-08 06:46:45 +0000 UTC]
Wow, thanks! And yeah, I agree about it being important to not be alone.
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Zephyrus-Wind [2010-07-07 00:41:59 +0000 UTC]
This is fantastic. I love the way it's written and the way you presented it. The word choice is fantastic, and the atmosphere is captivating well done and bravo.
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Zephyrus-Wind In reply to Apheline [2010-07-07 03:50:13 +0000 UTC]
Yeah, it was really fantastic.
I can't even describe...
It's just nice to see someone with relatively decent abilities on here that isn't mindless dribble.
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Apheline In reply to Muzica-chan [2010-07-06 19:46:02 +0000 UTC]
Thank you very much and thanks for taking the time to read it ^^
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Muzica-chan In reply to Apheline [2010-07-06 21:38:06 +0000 UTC]
You're welcome. Keep up the good work, and thank you for sharing. ^_^
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Bluelezzie [2010-07-06 15:41:51 +0000 UTC]
i like it , i think the way she's thinking about whether she's lesbian and then finally realising it doesn't matter is interesting
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