HOME | DD

Description
This fan fiction is not meant to be taken seriously in the slightest. It contains myself (Zephyr), Chris, Wesker, Lisa Wesker (OC), Minty Mongoose (OC), Disney World, and my birthday. Be warned. This is both incredibly IC and OOC.

"How many of these have you gone through, Zephyrus?" he called from the back, sourness seeping into his tone. "Because honestly, I am sick and tired of having to refuel the goddamn syrup every half an hour."

The girl looked up from the table and muttered something under her breath before she put her head back down and made a sort of finger motion to the back. Albert Wesker peered out into the empty Disney-esque bar and growled softly. He slipped back into the back and grabbed another drink for her when the door opened up.

Two women walked inside, one with high heels and the other clad in Wesker's scientist coat. Both had blonde hair, and they both were looking at the girl in the bar stool with odd looks on their faces. One of them spoke up almost immediately. "You come to a bar with no alcohol? What kind of a party girl are you?!"

"Ngggh, not the one you prefer, Lisa," Zephyr mumbled in response, looking up at them and coughing rather harshly. She sounded quite hoarse, on the verge of not being able to speak at all. "I prefer something non-alcoholic, but that's only because I'm nineteen."

The anthromorphic mongoose raised an eyebrow at this and glanced around the deserted place. "You really think anyone would honestly care? I don't see anyone else in here right now." She studied the human and sniffed her for a moment before prodding her with her long green tongue. "Why the hell are you moping here?"

Zephyr coughed a dry cough once more and sighed. "Miss my parents. Even if it is my nineteenth birthday."

Lisa scowled, glancing at Minty and rolling her eyes. "You should be out having fun, not brooding here. If anyone is to be a moody asshole, it's me. Got it?"

"But-"

"No buts," Minty interrupted. "Go have fun. Seriously. It's your BIRTHDAY, Shine."

She coughed again and smiled weakly. "You sure?"

"Positive," Lisa agreed instantly, Minty nodding. "Shoo. Go flounce around and shit like some sort of bouncy idiot."

Zephyr stood up and nodded a little before looking in the back. "Wesker?"

"I hear them," he growled from behind the counter. "How did they find me and you here?!"

Minty giggled. "Your cologne."

Lisa smirked widely as the birthday woman chuckled a little and coughed harshly. She snuck a cough drop in her back pocket and began to advance on the door to the kitchen. "Quick question," she called out suavely, Minty trotting not too far behind. "Is there a freezer or something back here?"

"Lisa Wesker, don't you dare come into the kitchen!"

"Why?" Minty asked, Zephyr slipping out the front door and shutting it.

Moments later, there was a loud yell and a thud against the floor. "Get. The hell. OFF!" roared the man.

"It's fucking PLAID!" Lisa shrieked with very un-Lisa-like glee. "No WAY in hell am I getting off you! Minty-"

"Lisaaa, I wanna fuck him!"

"C'MERE, YA SEXY MONGOOSE…" Dragging.

"Goddam- LISA, DO NOT ENCOURAGE THAT STRAPON."

--

Zephyr coughed harshly, looking at her face in her phone and not bothering to look up from her checkings. "You really had to go for the Safari look? Really?"

"I'm in Florida. I'm incognito."

"You're a fuckin' zebra, Chris."

"I am a GOOD lookin' zebra."

She chuckled weakly and coughed again, examining her face paint and sighing. "Well now. It's you, me, and a big theme park with lots of rides, long waits, and time to screw off. What're you up to doing, Chris? Splash Mountain, Space Mountain?"

He grinned widely and glanced around. "It's a Small World."

"I am going to murder you," she hissed, grabbing his hand and dragging him through the crowd. "Not that ride, NOR Peter Pan's Flight. We're gonna go ride Space Mountain, and I am going to LAUGH if you hit one of the poles in there!"

Chris almost pouted but followed the girl all the same. She coughed again loudly and continued to lead him through the crowd. "Ice cream?"

"Nooo, not now."

"But I want a Mickey Mouse head ice creaaam!"

"Chris, let's GO. It's a 90 minute wait for this!"

He growled. "I'm not fuckin' waiting 90 minutes for that!"

"It's MY birthday, you derp! Let's go!"

--

"…that wasn't 90 minutes."

"Nope."

Silence.

"…ice cream afterwards?"

"Fine, you idiot," she mumbled. "But ride first."

--

"YOU NEVER TOLD ME THE POLES WERE THAT CLOSE!" he shrieked.

"You can take on killer zombies, Albert Wesker, and your old partner Jill. You call yourself incognito in a zebra suit in Disney World. And you cannot ride Space Mountain without screaming like a pansy."

"BUT THE BARS ABOVE ME WERE SO CLOSE! AND SO WERE THE ONES NEXT TO ME!"

"You need to shrink in muscles and size in general."

"I AM NOT FAT."

"You're yelling at me in all caps."

"AM NOT."

"Chris, you need to lose the muscle for a little bit."

And so Chris went on a "roidrage," proceeded to get ice cream for himself and girl, and he found Jack Krauser raging at Albert Wesker about riding the Mad Hatter Tea Party. And the rest of the day was amazing for everyone else.

--

Meanwhile…

"PLAAAAAAAID."

Cringing. "Lisa, really…"

"Can I wear your coat?"

"…you can wear my sunglasses."

"I wear my sunglasses at night…~"

"NO YOU FUCKING DO NOT SING THAT WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN"

Description
This fan fiction is not meant to be taken seriously in the slightest. It contains myself (Zephyr), Chris, Wesker, Lisa Wesker (OC), Minty Mongoose (OC), Disney World, and my birthday. Be warned. This is both incredibly IC and OOC.

"How many of these have you gone through, Zephyrus?" he called from the back, sourness seeping into his tone. "Because honestly, I am sick and tired of having to refuel the goddamn syrup every half an hour."

The girl looked up from the table and muttered something under her breath before she put her head back down and made a sort of finger motion to the back. Albert Wesker peered out into the empty Disney-esque bar and growled softly. He slipped back into the back and grabbed another drink for her when the door opened up.

Two women walked inside, one with high heels and the other clad in Wesker's scientist coat. Both had blonde hair, and they both were looking at the girl in the bar stool with odd looks on their faces. One of them spoke up almost immediately. "You come to a bar with no alcohol? What kind of a party girl are you?!"

"Ngggh, not the one you prefer, Lisa," Zephyr mumbled in response, looking up at them and coughing rather harshly. She sounded quite hoarse, on the verge of not being able to speak at all. "I prefer something non-alcoholic, but that's only because I'm nineteen."

The anthromorphic mongoose raised an eyebrow at this and glanced around the deserted place. "You really think anyone would honestly care? I don't see anyone else in here right now." She studied the human and sniffed her for a moment before prodding her with her long green tongue. "Why the hell are you moping here?"

Zephyr coughed a dry cough once more and sighed. "Miss my parents. Even if it is my nineteenth birthday."

Lisa scowled, glancing at Minty and rolling her eyes. "You should be out having fun, not brooding here. If anyone is to be a moody asshole, it's me. Got it?"

"But-"

"No buts," Minty interrupted. "Go have fun. Seriously. It's your BIRTHDAY, Shine."

She coughed again and smiled weakly. "You sure?"

"Positive," Lisa agreed instantly, Minty nodding. "Shoo. Go flounce around and shit like some sort of bouncy idiot."

Zephyr stood up and nodded a little before looking in the back. "Wesker?"

"I hear them," he growled from behind the counter. "How did they find me and you here?!"

Minty giggled. "Your cologne."

Lisa smirked widely as the birthday woman chuckled a little and coughed harshly. She snuck a cough drop in her back pocket and began to advance on the door to the kitchen. "Quick question," she called out suavely, Minty trotting not too far behind. "Is there a freezer or something back here?"

"Lisa Wesker, don't you dare come into the kitchen!"

"Why?" Minty asked, Zephyr slipping out the front door and shutting it.

Moments later, there was a loud yell and a thud against the floor. "Get. The hell. OFF!" roared the man.

"It's fucking PLAID!" Lisa shrieked with very un-Lisa-like glee. "No WAY in hell am I getting off you! Minty-"

"Lisaaa, I wanna fuck him!"

"C'MERE, YA SEXY MONGOOSE…" Dragging.

"Goddam- LISA, DO NOT ENCOURAGE THAT STRAPON."

--

Zephyr coughed harshly, looking at her face in her phone and not bothering to look up from her checkings. "You really had to go for the Safari look? Really?"

"I'm in Florida. I'm incognito."

"You're a fuckin' zebra, Chris."

"I am a GOOD lookin' zebra."

She chuckled weakly and coughed again, examining her face paint and sighing. "Well now. It's you, me, and a big theme park with lots of rides, long waits, and time to screw off. What're you up to doing, Chris? Splash Mountain, Space Mountain?"

He grinned widely and glanced around. "It's a Small World."

"I am going to murder you," she hissed, grabbing his hand and dragging him through the crowd. "Not that ride, NOR Peter Pan's Flight. We're gonna go ride Space Mountain, and I am going to LAUGH if you hit one of the poles in there!"

Chris almost pouted but followed the girl all the same. She coughed again loudly and continued to lead him through the crowd. "Ice cream?"

"Nooo, not now."

"But I want a Mickey Mouse head ice creaaam!"

"Chris, let's GO. It's a 90 minute wait for this!"

He growled. "I'm not fuckin' waiting 90 minutes for that!"

"It's MY birthday, you derp! Let's go!"

--

"…that wasn't 90 minutes."

"Nope."

Silence.

"…ice cream afterwards?"

"Fine, you idiot," she mumbled. "But ride first."

--

"YOU NEVER TOLD ME THE POLES WERE THAT CLOSE!" he shrieked.

"You can take on killer zombies, Albert Wesker, and your old partner Jill. You call yourself incognito in a zebra suit in Disney World. And you cannot ride Space Mountain without screaming like a pansy."

"BUT THE BARS ABOVE ME WERE SO CLOSE! AND SO WERE THE ONES NEXT TO ME!"

"You need to shrink in muscles and size in general."

"I AM NOT FAT."

"You're yelling at me in all caps."

"AM NOT."

"Chris, you need to lose the muscle for a little bit."

And so Chris went on a "roidrage," proceeded to get ice cream for himself and girl, and he found Jack Krauser raging at Albert Wesker about riding the Mad Hatter Tea Party. And the rest of the day was amazing for everyone else.

--

Meanwhile…

"PLAAAAAAAID."

Cringing. "Lisa, really…"

"Can I wear your coat?"

"…you can wear my sunglasses."

"I wear my sunglasses at night…~"

"NO YOU FUCKING DO NOT SING THAT WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN"