HOME | DD
ArchSerpent — only a flesh wound
Published: 2015-09-20 21:06:43 +0000 UTC; Views: 320; Favourites: 16; Downloads: 0
Redirect to original
Description
Update: I'm on the edge of the cliff, per say. My family is broken and I feel like an anchor taking them down to the bottom of the ocean. I don't want to talk to people, I don't want to go places, I don't want to do anything anymore. It feels like I'm one big error in the code. Everything just hurts and life is just a big bottle of pills. The moment I feel slightly better something immediately happens to bring me back down. And I don't feel like reaching out for help anymore. Aren't I just a burden? Aren't I just hurting people? I don't want to be that. I don't want to cause anymore pain. But I scare myself because I'm getting destructive. I'm getting impulses and it freaks me out because what if I can't stop, what if I do end up hurting myself or someone else? It's scary. So I lock myself in my room and don't move until my belly growls or my throat hurts. This isn't the way to live. I say that...but why can't I move my legs anymore?But I'm sure that's just the depression and crippling anxiety talking. I got more blood testing and some new new meds to try. I hope it'll help me feel more motivated to do things. I'm going to try to get better. Little by little. There's still hope for my cure, I think...
So the problem here is that my anxiety is getting the best of me. I can't even text people correctly anymore, it's all too much. I'm so fucking scared of fucking it up. But I want to talk to people. I just can't initiate it anymore. I've been traumatized by the idea of approaching people. But I still want to talk. Yeah, I know, selfish Archy.
So yeah... Talk to me?
Related content
Comments: 16
(Eep, you know I'm always here for you too. My skype isn't working either but I'll send you a note either on here or on tumblr if you want. I've definitely experienced things bringing me down whenever I try to feel better. It's the worst and you're an amazing person and you deserve so much better. I believe in you though. I believe you will get better, everything will get better.)
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
I don't need to say it for you to know that i'm always here to talk. skype's not working right atm, but you can shoot me a message whenever, wherever, via notes or kik or tumblr.
honestly i'm really upset that all this shit is happening in your life right now. if I could, i'd just pick up all this problems and throw them all over a cliff. but I can't. there's not much I can do. i'm sorry.
please feel better and know that we all support you and love you so much <33
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
psst archy literaly always talk to me
its so hard to fuck things up w me because im one big giant memey mess of a human being and maybe we can be messes of human beings together bc i feel this on a deep and emotional level
like i always dont type like im even the slightest bit compassionate but i hope you feel better d00d, note me if theres anything i can do
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
thanks for the comment brent. you're amazing to talk to and i really wish i could note people right now but like i can't do it anymore rip
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
I'm so sorry you're feeling so upset!! I can't say I know EXACTLY what you're going through, but I know what it's like to go through hard times. It's easy to let it all get to you and to let it all hurt. I guess at this point, you've got to find hope and rely on your distractions. You're strong, and amazing, and I know you can get through this. I believe in you, Archy.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
thanks mars you're really kind i can't really express how much it means to me but it does that you would comment on here for me thank you
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Archy, sometimes people feel really helpless because of their disorder or unfortunate events that happen in their lives. Each time, even though it's hard, you have to take a step. If you make a mistake, we're not going to get pitchforks and start an angry mob against you! You are a very special person to every watcher and friends you have! We will understand if you mess up. Honestly, you are another human like all of us. You are not a freak, you are not a burden, you are not hurting people. Depression and anxiety is really hard overcome but don't be afraid to try. If you don't feel like reaching out, we'll reach you then. You can talk to me if you want btw. I'm not scary nor I don't bite.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
it's hard to believe in that because of past experiences, but i'll try to remind myself that not everyone is out to get me. i've made a lot of mistakes in life and paid the price for each and every one of them. only recently have i begun to learn that things like being disabled aren't my fault and the cause of everyone else's frustration. things people say never leave me. it sucks.
i feel like when i don't reach out people just assume i've stopped caring and stop caring about me because of that. it's a vicious cycle.
but yeah thanks for the comment. it really means a lot that you are here and that you will talk to me. thank you <3
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
That really sucks. D:
I know a person who has given up because of their anxiety and depression and is currently in a really low mood. She is too shy to talk to anyone or try. Now she's at the bottom thinking everybody hates her... Which is not true.. 
<3 I'm glad I could help you in any way.
I'll be here be here if you want to talk whenever you want. ^^
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Hey i'm always here if you would like to vent or just try and distract yourself. anxiety sucks ass, it prevents me from a lot of stuff too. but you can't let it define who you are ya know? you have to be strong okay? i hope you will feel better soon, dear.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Aww, hun, I feel the same way a lot. I really relate to what's going on with you. I know we don't know each other, but you can always talk to me and I'm sure there's a lot of people that want to help you too. Sometimes being alone is the best thing, yet sometimes the silence is violent. Please, please, please don't let your thoughts get to you. Anything that makes you feel special, do it. Anything that makes you happy, go for. You should really do things to distract yourself, Like listen to new upbeat music or play games, or maybe you're one to write stories. Explore life, and don't be afraid. The world can be a scary place, but a lot of things are really worth it. But again, if you need to talk to someone, I'll be there if you want.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
thank you for the comment! yes i do try to distract myself a lot but what i have is very limited due to money and health. but i'll try to keep my head up. thank you
also if you could pls don't call me things like hun, it makes me uncomfortable! hope you understand
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Archy... You're not selfish! You're an amazing person, and I wish I could give you a huge hug, and tell you you're worth it all. You exist for a reason. If you weren't meant to, you wouldn't. But you're here, and you should make the best of it! <3
👍: 0 ⏩: 1