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arliddian — Downpour

Published: 2009-10-09 07:49:58 +0000 UTC; Views: 545; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 4
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Description I hurl raindrops at your chest
of earth. Gravity lends them weight –
they splatter; the dry dirt
is scattered.

You watch my eyes, the deluge pouring
from clenching skies. There is a storm
beating you, water doing its best to dent
your surface. Nothing grows
in soil so firmly fixed.

I do not know
how else to move you, mould you,
disturb and shape you.
I wish this was not what it takes:
a monsoon, a flood, so much water
-damage to re-form
your settled landscape.
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Comments: 13

samanthalindholm [2011-06-25 06:10:59 +0000 UTC]

I. LOVE. THIS.
I know I pretty much say that about everything that I comment on as far as your poetry goes, but if my interpretation is correct, then this is splendid.

Is this from the sky's point of view?

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arliddian In reply to samanthalindholm [2011-07-03 12:06:01 +0000 UTC]

Thank you! I'm glad you like it so much.

I like that you got a different interpretation from it; it's not exactly what I had in mind when I wrote it but I think that is why writing is powerful - things can be interpreted in different ways, depending on the reader. What did you think the poem was about?

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samanthalindholm In reply to arliddian [2011-07-03 23:01:04 +0000 UTC]

Well, the two perspectives I pulled from it were these:

1) On my first read, and since I'm a Christian, my view was that the sky was a symbol representing God/heaven. The earth (and the people in it) are unbending, unwilling to change, unwilling to believe, and don't understand Him so well. I interpreted it as His hand in moulding and shaping us ("changing the world") through different things He does (stuff He sends to earth or the influence of His mercy upon the earth) like sending Jesus or causing the rain to "fall on the righteous and the wicked," like in Matthew 6. That view is what made me really excited, but really no matter what perspective you look at it from, it's so pretty in all its facets that I really enjoy it

2) My second interpretation was the idea that it's about two people who are being compared to a sky and the earth. One person is distraught over something that happened - whether it was something the other person said or did that was insensitive. The only way the wounded person can convey their anguish or do anything to mould the behavior of that other individual is to shed tears.

Either way, it's rather lovely

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arliddian In reply to samanthalindholm [2011-07-06 08:19:41 +0000 UTC]

Thank you for that, it was really lovely to read your interpretations!

I suppose for my part, I wrote the poem with your second interpretation in mind, but I really like your first one. I think that's what I like about poetry - it can be read in so many different ways!

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samanthalindholm In reply to arliddian [2011-07-08 01:17:14 +0000 UTC]

I like that perspective-factor too

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nathan-speaks [2009-10-23 20:12:48 +0000 UTC]

Like this one very much

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arliddian In reply to nathan-speaks [2009-10-24 01:20:41 +0000 UTC]

Many thanks for the comment and the fav.

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Piscesandthediamonds [2009-10-18 08:02:02 +0000 UTC]

You watch my eyes, the deluge pouring
from clenching skies. There is a storm
beating you ohmy!

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arliddian In reply to Piscesandthediamonds [2009-10-18 13:00:29 +0000 UTC]

Thank you!

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YouInventedMe [2009-10-10 07:50:05 +0000 UTC]

great flow to this.

the first stanza is my favorite.

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arliddian In reply to YouInventedMe [2009-10-10 14:29:53 +0000 UTC]

Thanks, Shane. I'm rather proud of that first stanza!

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Shyanne-Kai [2009-10-09 09:43:30 +0000 UTC]

Wow, the rhythm and rhyme in this is amazing. Wonderful metaphor.

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arliddian In reply to Shyanne-Kai [2009-10-10 01:34:14 +0000 UTC]

Thank you very much; I'm glad you liked it.

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