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arliddian — What I am looking forward to

Published: 2009-08-06 10:46:57 +0000 UTC; Views: 233; Favourites: 2; Downloads: 0
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Description Boxes. Too many boxes, and not enough
time to arrange the furniture.

Arguments over the best place to put
the crockery, the television, my books,

your hands. Pressing my clothes, smoothing wrinkles
from your shirts with a second-hand iron.

Dishes, piled in the sink and waiting
for you. My lips, formed around words that are

sharp, like fingernails. Your eyes,
bright behind glasses and the pain of scratch wounds.

Choking on a mouthful of pride,
unable to swallow. Delayed forgiveness.

You, sulking. You, refusing to speak. You,
tousle-haired and bleary-eyed in the morning, still

sulking. Slamming the bedroom door and crying. Undressing
onions and crying. Leaning against your chest and

crying. Damp eyelashes and blotchy skin. Air warmed by
apologies, vibrating and humming. Shivering

gooseflesh where your palms cross my body.
Tying knots with fingers, tangles with limbs.

Falling asleep in your arms, the ring on
my left hand warmed by your skin.
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Comments: 5

Talysia [2009-08-25 00:55:12 +0000 UTC]

I love the emotion in this. The imagery goes hand in hand with it beautifully.

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arliddian In reply to Talysia [2009-08-25 12:21:16 +0000 UTC]

Thank you. I'm really glad you think so; it was quite an emotional piece to write. Thank you for the comment and the .

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Talysia In reply to arliddian [2009-08-25 20:41:04 +0000 UTC]

No problem. =]

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seraellis [2009-08-10 09:40:04 +0000 UTC]

I like this, and I know the emotion that urged you to write those last two lines. I would leave them off however - they're too blatant.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

arliddian In reply to seraellis [2009-08-10 10:02:58 +0000 UTC]

Hmm, I see your point. I'll have to think about it for a while; I'll leave it as is for the time being and come back to it once I've had a few more comments/crits. Thank you for your critique, I really appreciate it!

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