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Parenting 101
Chapter 1
(A/N: For this fic I'm not listing anyone has babysitting a child of their own because I want to play off of the raw person, rather than after they've had that shot of instincts from actually having their own spawn, also, these are all oneshots, they're in no paticular order so events that take place in this fic may or may not apply to another )

Rukia

"Awwwww, I want one," Rukia said with a longing sigh as she stared down an the tiny baby in the basket, "Well you're going to have to wait another year or so for one of your own," Ichigo chuckled, putting his hand on her shoulder, she puffed her cheeks out like a chipmunk, "That isn't fair... I want one NOW..." she muttered, he sighed, 'Please... just let us get married first....' he thought as he shook his head, "Nature can only move so fast," he muttered, "You mean SLOW, I've wanted a baby since I was a baby!" 'Leave it to me to fall in love with the ONE girl in my life who wants kids now, now, NOW...' he thought, "Well how about you get to keep this one all by yourself for two hours?" she looked up at him with shock and horror, "Wat?" it wasn't that she didn't WANT to babysit Ichigo's cousin by herself for a wile, no, the kid was an absolute ANGEL... she just wasn't familiar with the way the human world HANDELED babies... in Soul Society things were so SIMPLE... if the baby is hungry go find the mother, if the baby needs a diaper change hold your breath THEN go find the mother, if the baby wakes up smile, tell the baby how cute it is, and go find the mother, but HERE... things were so complicated... do you give the baby formula or breast milk? Do you give the baby this kind of diapers or that kind? Do you play with the baby or see if it's hungry? Wat kind of toys does the baby like? Are the toys safe? Will the baby eat them? Is the baby teething? Why is the baby pulling my hair? So many questions... she wasn't sure if she was ready to be alone in this world with a child... even if it was only for two hours... "Well I have to go pick up Karin from soccer and then drive across town to get Yuzu from ballet," Ichigo explained, snapping her out of her trance, "You'll be ok alone won't you? I mean I don't need to call Tatsuki or-" "NO!" she covered her mouth with one hand, she didn't want Ichigo to think she couldn't handel this herself, she was the one nagging him about getting her children the very second they said their vows and how she could handel it and she could do everything herself wen Ichigo was working, if she couldn't be alone with a child for TWO HOURS he would NEVER believe her and... he IS a man... who nos how long it would take him to come to the baby-conclusion on his own? The thought made her shiver with horror, "I mean, I can handel it Ichigo, she's just a baby, and she's an ANGEL, she'll probbably sleep the entire time anyway," she said with a calm smile, he watched her for a moment, then stared at the kid in the basinet, then back at his lovely fiancee' who was staring at him so innocently... that should have been his first clue something was up but he just ignored it and hoped that the house was still standing wen he got back... curse his father for being at a medical convention all week! "Alright.... if you have any problums call my cell phone or call Orihime or something, and DON'T burn the house down!" he demanded, she nodded rapidly and he kissed her forehead before heading out the door, "Bye!! And don't forget not to talk on your cell phone in the car!!" she said happily, "Heh, right, but you will be the exception if you call.... lest my house suffer more constructional dameges..." he muttered, shutting the door and heading for the car, Rukia smiled, hard part was over, or.. so she thought..... because the next second.. "WAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Wat on earth do you want Mitsuki?" Rukia muttered as she rubbed her eyes, she had tried feeding her, changing her, bouncing her, giving her her FAVIROTE toys... nothing would get the girl to stop crying, "Ugh..." she muttered, and then... she thought of something... "Oh Mitsuki~" she sang, the baby opened her eyes for a moment just in time to see Rukia sticking her tounge out and pulling on her cheeks, and to Rukia's COMPLETE joy ... Mitsuki started to laugh... 'So THAT's it! She wants to be entertained...' she thought, glad atleast that she found something that worked, but the moment she stopped the baby started to cry again, "Oh no.." she muttered, "MEEEGGGHHHH!!!!" she shouted as she pulled on her lower eyelids and stuck her tounge out again, Mitsuki liked that one so much that she laughed and clapped, 'Good thing I'm used to doing weird things to save my skin...' she thought, now hopping up and down on one foot wile clapping her hands and singing "Here Comes Peter Cottontail", 'Thank you Toys R' Us comercial...' she thought, the baby was having a fit! .. Of the good kind! 'Now to keep this up for two hours...' she thought

"Look at me Mitsuki!! I'm a puppy!! I'm a puppy and I'm doing a dance and trying to make you laugh! Arf arf!" Rukia shouted, bouncing around the living room as the baby stared at her in awe, 'I feel like I'm about to pass out! I have NEVER exercised this much before, not even fighting hollows!' she thought as she felt the sweat soak through her dress, finally, she couldn't take it anymore and flopped down on the floor, panting and gasping for breath, her face red and her chest burning, she looked up and saw Mitsuki frown and open her mouth, 'No... no no no!!! No crying!!' she thought in a panic, so she did the only thing that came to mind.... she started to bark and crawl around the floor like an idiot... 'I hope and pray that no one ever sees me doing this... and that my kids aren't as difficult to please..' she thought as laughter filled the room

Finally... FINALLY... after an hour of entertaining that child... she was asleep again.. Rukia was so tired that she wasn't even going to go upstairs to change into some cleaner clothes, 'I just want to sleep it off...' she thought as a slow burn pulsed through her body, 'But alas... it is unbecoming of a Kuchiki to be so disheveled...' she groaned and picked up the baby carrier, walking towards the stairs with a hiss of pain, "Ow.. ow... ow.. ow.. ow.." she muttered with every step

Rukia sighed lightly in contentment as she shed her clothing, the baby resting on Ichigo's bed in her basinet, she walked towards the closet and grabbed some new clothes, 'I hope she stays asleep until Ichigo gets home...' she thought as she slid them on, then, all of a sudden, she heard a slight cooing sound, "So much for that idea..." she muttered as she turned, now fully clothed, towards Mitsuki, "Please don't make Mommy-Ruki do all that silly stuff again, Mommy-Ruki is REALLY tired," she pleaded with the infant wile walking towards her, to her delight, Mitsuki didn't cry... "Thank you... maybe we could read some books?" she said, climbing onto the bed and taking Mitsuki out of her basinet, "Wat do you say Honey? Want me to read you a faiytale? I'm sure Ichi has atleast ONE in here somewere," she said, putting the basinet on the floor and the baby in her lap, she smiled and started to reach for one of the books on his shelf wen suddenly she felt a pinch on her chest, "Eeep!" she shreiked, looking down and seeing Mitsuki staring at her chest, "I see..." she muttered, picking up the little baby and trudging downstairs

Rukia sighed lightly and smiled, Mitsuki was fed and they were back in Ichigo's room... now with any luck she would just go back to sleep... however such luck was not on her side at all... as Rukia picked her up again and she started to squirm and twitch, "Wat is it?" Rukia asked as the baby tried to scrambel out of her arms, "You want down?" she asked rhetorically, very reluctantly setting her down on the floor, this seemed to make the little bundel of .. joy... quite happy as she crawled around on the floor, Rukia smiled and sat cross-legged on the floor next to her, "You really are adorable," she muttered with an admiring smile, Mitsuki crawled towards her and put one tiny hand on Rukia's nee, "Loooooooooooooove," she said with a smile, Rukia gasped, "You spoke! You said your first word!! Oh that's so amazing! Your mommy is going to be so sad that she missed this," she said, lifting the little girl into the air, "Loooove!!!" Mitsuki giggled, kciking and reaching out to pinch Rukia's nose, "....Ow..." 'This kid is definatly part of Ichigo's family, she has an iron grip!' she thought in pain

Ichigo rubbed the back of his neck as he walked into the house, "Rukia I'm home!" he shouted, the girls had already rushed into the living world to catch the new episode of some cartoon or another, "Rukia?" he called, walking up the stairs and seeing that the door to his room was open, he peeked in and smiled, there on the bed, both worn out, were Rukia and Mitsuki, the smaller of the two splayed out on the woman's chest, both snoozing, mouths agape, "Aww," he muttered, 'Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to have kids now...' and then Mitsuki unconciously grabbed Rukia's nose again and the woman started to snore in a sad attempt at breathing, "....As long as they sleep in their cribs...."

;) (Wink) — Description
Parenting 101
Chapter 1
(A/N: For this fic I'm not listing anyone has babysitting a child of their own because I want to play off of the raw person, rather than after they've had that shot of instincts from actually having their own spawn, also, these are all oneshots, they're in no paticular order so events that take place in this fic may or may not apply to another )

Rukia

"Awwwww, I want one," Rukia said with a longing sigh as she stared down an the tiny baby in the basket, "Well you're going to have to wait another year or so for one of your own," Ichigo chuckled, putting his hand on her shoulder, she puffed her cheeks out like a chipmunk, "That isn't fair... I want one NOW..." she muttered, he sighed, 'Please... just let us get married first....' he thought as he shook his head, "Nature can only move so fast," he muttered, "You mean SLOW, I've wanted a baby since I was a baby!" 'Leave it to me to fall in love with the ONE girl in my life who wants kids now, now, NOW...' he thought, "Well how about you get to keep this one all by yourself for two hours?" she looked up at him with shock and horror, "Wat?" it wasn't that she didn't WANT to babysit Ichigo's cousin by herself for a wile, no, the kid was an absolute ANGEL... she just wasn't familiar with the way the human world HANDELED babies... in Soul Society things were so SIMPLE... if the baby is hungry go find the mother, if the baby needs a diaper change hold your breath THEN go find the mother, if the baby wakes up smile, tell the baby how cute it is, and go find the mother, but HERE... things were so complicated... do you give the baby formula or breast milk? Do you give the baby this kind of diapers or that kind? Do you play with the baby or see if it's hungry? Wat kind of toys does the baby like? Are the toys safe? Will the baby eat them? Is the baby teething? Why is the baby pulling my hair? So many questions... she wasn't sure if she was ready to be alone in this world with a child... even if it was only for two hours... "Well I have to go pick up Karin from soccer and then drive across town to get Yuzu from ballet," Ichigo explained, snapping her out of her trance, "You'll be ok alone won't you? I mean I don't need to call Tatsuki or-" "NO!" she covered her mouth with one hand, she didn't want Ichigo to think she couldn't handel this herself, she was the one nagging him about getting her children the very second they said their vows and how she could handel it and she could do everything herself wen Ichigo was working, if she couldn't be alone with a child for TWO HOURS he would NEVER believe her and... he IS a man... who nos how long it would take him to come to the baby-conclusion on his own? The thought made her shiver with horror, "I mean, I can handel it Ichigo, she's just a baby, and she's an ANGEL, she'll probbably sleep the entire time anyway," she said with a calm smile, he watched her for a moment, then stared at the kid in the basinet, then back at his lovely fiancee' who was staring at him so innocently... that should have been his first clue something was up but he just ignored it and hoped that the house was still standing wen he got back... curse his father for being at a medical convention all week! "Alright.... if you have any problums call my cell phone or call Orihime or something, and DON'T burn the house down!" he demanded, she nodded rapidly and he kissed her forehead before heading out the door, "Bye!! And don't forget not to talk on your cell phone in the car!!" she said happily, "Heh, right, but you will be the exception if you call.... lest my house suffer more constructional dameges..." he muttered, shutting the door and heading for the car, Rukia smiled, hard part was over, or.. so she thought..... because the next second.. "WAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Wat on earth do you want Mitsuki?" Rukia muttered as she rubbed her eyes, she had tried feeding her, changing her, bouncing her, giving her her FAVIROTE toys... nothing would get the girl to stop crying, "Ugh..." she muttered, and then... she thought of something... "Oh Mitsuki~" she sang, the baby opened her eyes for a moment just in time to see Rukia sticking her tounge out and pulling on her cheeks, and to Rukia's COMPLETE joy ... Mitsuki started to laugh... 'So THAT's it! She wants to be entertained...' she thought, glad atleast that she found something that worked, but the moment she stopped the baby started to cry again, "Oh no.." she muttered, "MEEEGGGHHHH!!!!" she shouted as she pulled on her lower eyelids and stuck her tounge out again, Mitsuki liked that one so much that she laughed and clapped, 'Good thing I'm used to doing weird things to save my skin...' she thought, now hopping up and down on one foot wile clapping her hands and singing "Here Comes Peter Cottontail", 'Thank you Toys R' Us comercial...' she thought, the baby was having a fit! .. Of the good kind! 'Now to keep this up for two hours...' she thought

"Look at me Mitsuki!! I'm a puppy!! I'm a puppy and I'm doing a dance and trying to make you laugh! Arf arf!" Rukia shouted, bouncing around the living room as the baby stared at her in awe, 'I feel like I'm about to pass out! I have NEVER exercised this much before, not even fighting hollows!' she thought as she felt the sweat soak through her dress, finally, she couldn't take it anymore and flopped down on the floor, panting and gasping for breath, her face red and her chest burning, she looked up and saw Mitsuki frown and open her mouth, 'No... no no no!!! No crying!!' she thought in a panic, so she did the only thing that came to mind.... she started to bark and crawl around the floor like an idiot... 'I hope and pray that no one ever sees me doing this... and that my kids aren't as difficult to please..' she thought as laughter filled the room

Finally... FINALLY... after an hour of entertaining that child... she was asleep again.. Rukia was so tired that she wasn't even going to go upstairs to change into some cleaner clothes, 'I just want to sleep it off...' she thought as a slow burn pulsed through her body, 'But alas... it is unbecoming of a Kuchiki to be so disheveled...' she groaned and picked up the baby carrier, walking towards the stairs with a hiss of pain, "Ow.. ow... ow.. ow.. ow.." she muttered with every step

Rukia sighed lightly in contentment as she shed her clothing, the baby resting on Ichigo's bed in her basinet, she walked towards the closet and grabbed some new clothes, 'I hope she stays asleep until Ichigo gets home...' she thought as she slid them on, then, all of a sudden, she heard a slight cooing sound, "So much for that idea..." she muttered as she turned, now fully clothed, towards Mitsuki, "Please don't make Mommy-Ruki do all that silly stuff again, Mommy-Ruki is REALLY tired," she pleaded with the infant wile walking towards her, to her delight, Mitsuki didn't cry... "Thank you... maybe we could read some books?" she said, climbing onto the bed and taking Mitsuki out of her basinet, "Wat do you say Honey? Want me to read you a faiytale? I'm sure Ichi has atleast ONE in here somewere," she said, putting the basinet on the floor and the baby in her lap, she smiled and started to reach for one of the books on his shelf wen suddenly she felt a pinch on her chest, "Eeep!" she shreiked, looking down and seeing Mitsuki staring at her chest, "I see..." she muttered, picking up the little baby and trudging downstairs

Rukia sighed lightly and smiled, Mitsuki was fed and they were back in Ichigo's room... now with any luck she would just go back to sleep... however such luck was not on her side at all... as Rukia picked her up again and she started to squirm and twitch, "Wat is it?" Rukia asked as the baby tried to scrambel out of her arms, "You want down?" she asked rhetorically, very reluctantly setting her down on the floor, this seemed to make the little bundel of .. joy... quite happy as she crawled around on the floor, Rukia smiled and sat cross-legged on the floor next to her, "You really are adorable," she muttered with an admiring smile, Mitsuki crawled towards her and put one tiny hand on Rukia's nee, "Loooooooooooooove," she said with a smile, Rukia gasped, "You spoke! You said your first word!! Oh that's so amazing! Your mommy is going to be so sad that she missed this," she said, lifting the little girl into the air, "Loooove!!!" Mitsuki giggled, kciking and reaching out to pinch Rukia's nose, "....Ow..." 'This kid is definatly part of Ichigo's family, she has an iron grip!' she thought in pain

Ichigo rubbed the back of his neck as he walked into the house, "Rukia I'm home!" he shouted, the girls had already rushed into the living world to catch the new episode of some cartoon or another, "Rukia?" he called, walking up the stairs and seeing that the door to his room was open, he peeked in and smiled, there on the bed, both worn out, were Rukia and Mitsuki, the smaller of the two splayed out on the woman's chest, both snoozing, mouths agape, "Aww," he muttered, 'Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to have kids now...' and then Mitsuki unconciously grabbed Rukia's nose again and the woman started to snore in a sad attempt at breathing, "....As long as they sleep in their cribs...."