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Description
Parenting 101
Chapter 6
(A/N: For this fic I'm not listing anyone has babysitting a child of their own because I want to play off of the raw person, rather than after they've had that shot of instincts from actually having their own spawn, also, these are all oneshots, they're in no paticular order so events that take place in this fic may or may not apply to other )

Byakuya

It was an unusually lovely day, the birds were chirping loud enough to hear but not so loudly that it was irritating, the sun was shining but not too brightly so that it would blind one, the sky was a light blue but not too blue... even the grass seemed greener than usual, ah it was SUCH a good day for a Kuchiki noble to be walking down the side walk on the way to his office... or so it seemed... "Oh! Master Byakuya!" he paused, that wasn't a good sign... he slowly turned around and greeted the man running up to him, "Hello," he said, the man before him was Kizoku Takaraiya, head of one of the four great noble clans, and at one point almost Rukia's fiancee', the Kuchikis had been planning on arranging their marrige for a year ... until one Ichigo Kurosaki bursted onto the scene and shot down that plan... but it hadn't haulted Kizoku and he had found himself a wife pretty quickly, he was still, however, under the impression that their families would one day unite and his children would marry Rukia's, once again blissfully unaware that Rukia was a Kurosaki now and even if that did happen they would have no association with the Kuchiki clan, "Listen, Master Byakuya, since our clans will be one someday," and there he went... "I was hoping to ask you for a favour..." "Favour?" "Yeah, you see my wife and I have a meeting to go to and we need someone to watch our daughter, Akumu, and we were hoping you would do it," "Um.... well...." Byakuya muttered, "Great thanks!" he said, shoving a baby stroller Byakuya's way and throwing a diaper bag at his face before running off at the speed of light

Byakuya Kuchiki was a busy, busy man and he did not have time to babysit some child, but that's wat he was doing... he sighed lightly, if she would atleast stay sleeping then he would have no problum- "WWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he cringed... if only she hadn't done THAT.... "Wat?" he asked her as she screeched, she continued to cry and sobbed and he sighed, reaching into the diaper bag and uncapping a jar of baby food, 'Perhaps she wants this...' he mused, getting a spoon from the bag and dipping it in the jar, 'This food smells disgusting... do children really eat it..?' he wondered, she stared at him with an odd look and he put the spoon in her mouth... not a second later she had spit the creamed carrots out and landed it on his forehead..... how lovely....

An hour... this child had been crying for an HOUR and it wouldn't STOP! He had tried everything, feeding her, changing her, telling her to be quiet and none of it worked... he had even resorted to asking Renji, who, as expected, new less than a mother chimp, "Wat do you want from me?" he muttered as the child cried, he was so dishelved in fact that his scarf was starting to fall off... and then.... like a magical stroke of luck, the crying stopped and she stared at the scarf like it was a shooting star, Byakuya didn't notice though, he was just thankfull that it had STOPPED.... and then he coughed as he was pulled down into the playpin by his scarf, "Let go..." he demanded as she stared, "I said let go Child, this is a very expensive, irreplacable scarf and you will unhand it NOW," he growled, and then the worst happened.... she opened her mouth... lifted the scarf... "Don't you dare," and into the mouth went the scarf.... he gasped and started to pull it away, but the child was unusually strong and yanked back, 'Is this wat Kurosaki was like as a child....? I suddenly have new found respect for his father.....' he thought as the tug of war continued, finally, he won.... and the crying started again, deciding his sanity was more important than clothes, he finally relented and allowed her the scarf... and she nommed happily

Byakuya was painfully unaware that Akumu was teething and thus needed his scarf to stop the pain, he was just glad the crying was over.... until it started again an hour later, "Wat now...?" he muttered, picking the baby up and holding her with a frown, "Wat could you POSSIBLY want now?" he asked.... she responded by spitting up on his haori, he gasped loudly in horror that he had.... baby goop... ON HIM.... the haori may be cheap and ugly but it was still ON HIM!! The baby then giggled and claped her hands at his face before reaching out and grabbing his long, black hair and shoving it in her mouth, chewing and sucking on it like a popsicle, "Let go," he begged, "PLEASE let go," she didn't listen.... just kept chewing his hair and grabbing his ear, he was close to tears, this was the worst day of his life... right next to wen Hisanna died... and then a FOWL smell hit his nose and he decided that both days were equally terrible....

Byakuya had learned something from that expereince, he had learned that he never, ever, wanted to encounter a child again a day in his LIFE! And he would NEVER EVER under ANY circumstances be ALONE with one again! Especially one that wasn't old enough to contain their body functions... by the end of the day his scarf had been ruined, his hair sat in a gooey rat nest, his clothes were covered in body fluids, and the smell was still present in his office.... oh he NEVER wanted to be near an infant again... and then his phone rang, "Hello....?" "Brother guess wat?! I'm pregnant!!!! You're going to be an uncle!!" at the sound of Rukia's voice he promptly fainted... "Brother? Brother? Hello? Brother are you there? Hello? Brother?"

;) (Wink) — Description
Parenting 101
Chapter 6
(A/N: For this fic I'm not listing anyone has babysitting a child of their own because I want to play off of the raw person, rather than after they've had that shot of instincts from actually having their own spawn, also, these are all oneshots, they're in no paticular order so events that take place in this fic may or may not apply to other )

Byakuya

It was an unusually lovely day, the birds were chirping loud enough to hear but not so loudly that it was irritating, the sun was shining but not too brightly so that it would blind one, the sky was a light blue but not too blue... even the grass seemed greener than usual, ah it was SUCH a good day for a Kuchiki noble to be walking down the side walk on the way to his office... or so it seemed... "Oh! Master Byakuya!" he paused, that wasn't a good sign... he slowly turned around and greeted the man running up to him, "Hello," he said, the man before him was Kizoku Takaraiya, head of one of the four great noble clans, and at one point almost Rukia's fiancee', the Kuchikis had been planning on arranging their marrige for a year ... until one Ichigo Kurosaki bursted onto the scene and shot down that plan... but it hadn't haulted Kizoku and he had found himself a wife pretty quickly, he was still, however, under the impression that their families would one day unite and his children would marry Rukia's, once again blissfully unaware that Rukia was a Kurosaki now and even if that did happen they would have no association with the Kuchiki clan, "Listen, Master Byakuya, since our clans will be one someday," and there he went... "I was hoping to ask you for a favour..." "Favour?" "Yeah, you see my wife and I have a meeting to go to and we need someone to watch our daughter, Akumu, and we were hoping you would do it," "Um.... well...." Byakuya muttered, "Great thanks!" he said, shoving a baby stroller Byakuya's way and throwing a diaper bag at his face before running off at the speed of light

Byakuya Kuchiki was a busy, busy man and he did not have time to babysit some child, but that's wat he was doing... he sighed lightly, if she would atleast stay sleeping then he would have no problum- "WWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he cringed... if only she hadn't done THAT.... "Wat?" he asked her as she screeched, she continued to cry and sobbed and he sighed, reaching into the diaper bag and uncapping a jar of baby food, 'Perhaps she wants this...' he mused, getting a spoon from the bag and dipping it in the jar, 'This food smells disgusting... do children really eat it..?' he wondered, she stared at him with an odd look and he put the spoon in her mouth... not a second later she had spit the creamed carrots out and landed it on his forehead..... how lovely....

An hour... this child had been crying for an HOUR and it wouldn't STOP! He had tried everything, feeding her, changing her, telling her to be quiet and none of it worked... he had even resorted to asking Renji, who, as expected, new less than a mother chimp, "Wat do you want from me?" he muttered as the child cried, he was so dishelved in fact that his scarf was starting to fall off... and then.... like a magical stroke of luck, the crying stopped and she stared at the scarf like it was a shooting star, Byakuya didn't notice though, he was just thankfull that it had STOPPED.... and then he coughed as he was pulled down into the playpin by his scarf, "Let go..." he demanded as she stared, "I said let go Child, this is a very expensive, irreplacable scarf and you will unhand it NOW," he growled, and then the worst happened.... she opened her mouth... lifted the scarf... "Don't you dare," and into the mouth went the scarf.... he gasped and started to pull it away, but the child was unusually strong and yanked back, 'Is this wat Kurosaki was like as a child....? I suddenly have new found respect for his father.....' he thought as the tug of war continued, finally, he won.... and the crying started again, deciding his sanity was more important than clothes, he finally relented and allowed her the scarf... and she nommed happily

Byakuya was painfully unaware that Akumu was teething and thus needed his scarf to stop the pain, he was just glad the crying was over.... until it started again an hour later, "Wat now...?" he muttered, picking the baby up and holding her with a frown, "Wat could you POSSIBLY want now?" he asked.... she responded by spitting up on his haori, he gasped loudly in horror that he had.... baby goop... ON HIM.... the haori may be cheap and ugly but it was still ON HIM!! The baby then giggled and claped her hands at his face before reaching out and grabbing his long, black hair and shoving it in her mouth, chewing and sucking on it like a popsicle, "Let go," he begged, "PLEASE let go," she didn't listen.... just kept chewing his hair and grabbing his ear, he was close to tears, this was the worst day of his life... right next to wen Hisanna died... and then a FOWL smell hit his nose and he decided that both days were equally terrible....

Byakuya had learned something from that expereince, he had learned that he never, ever, wanted to encounter a child again a day in his LIFE! And he would NEVER EVER under ANY circumstances be ALONE with one again! Especially one that wasn't old enough to contain their body functions... by the end of the day his scarf had been ruined, his hair sat in a gooey rat nest, his clothes were covered in body fluids, and the smell was still present in his office.... oh he NEVER wanted to be near an infant again... and then his phone rang, "Hello....?" "Brother guess wat?! I'm pregnant!!!! You're going to be an uncle!!" at the sound of Rukia's voice he promptly fainted... "Brother? Brother? Hello? Brother are you there? Hello? Brother?"