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Description
Fifty Things Stein is Not Allowed to Do:
1. I must not under any circumstances dissect a student or staff member.
2. Not even Spirit.
3. Even if he's asleep.
4. Nor am I allowed to conduct any kind of experiment on any of them.
5. I must not challenge Marie to a drinking contest at parties.
6. She will win, and it's not fun to wake up to her pounding on the door when I have a hangover.
7. I must not challenge Spirit to a drinking contest at parties.
8. I will win, and Lord Death won't allow me to dissect anyone when I'm drunk.
9. I am no longer allowed to beat up the students. That was a one-time thing.
10. Excalibur is not a squeaky toy.
11. Nor is he a football.
12. I am not to use him as either.
13. When doing a dissection lab in class, I must not lose track and spread the organs all over the counter.
14. Nor alphabetize them.
15. It creeps out the students, which I am told is 'bad'.
16. I am not to threaten to make Blair into meatloaf.
17. Nor catloaf.
18. Not even if she tries to distract my students during class.
19. I am not to drug the students.
20. Even if it is NOT for an experiment.
21. No matter how funny Black*Star is when he's drugged.
22. I must not fill a water pistol with soul-sapping water and use it on the students that misbehave.
23. Correction, I am not to use it on ANY of my students.
24. Death the Kid does not take well to being told that his hair is asymmetrical.
25. Telling stories about Spirit is not nice, and Lord Death will reaper-chop me if I do.
26. Even if they are true.
27. I am not to strangle Justin.
28. Nor am I to steal his headphones.
29. Asking the students if they want to play "operation" with me at parties will be reprimanded with a reaper-chop.
30. Or a Maka-chop.
31. I will not sexually harass Spirit, even if I am only teasing.
32. Licking is considered sexual harassment, even when it's for an experiment.
33. I must never go to Chupa Cabra's under any circumstances at all.
34. Even if Tezca invites me.
35. I can no longer leave school premises without alerting a staff member first.
36. Sometimes people throw up when they're sick, but sometimes they're just happy. I must ask before offering medical help.
37. I will look behind me when using my chair to get around the halls.
38. I will not use the first thing I grab from my pocket in a pen fight. It might be a scalpel.
39. I will not swap the pills in the Dispensary with some of my own, even though technically that would make it Nygus that was drugging the students.
40. Dancing with Marie in public is okay. "Experimenting" on Marie in public is not.
41. Nor is eating pie off her.
42. I must not make any student dissect something if they don't want to. I will have to clean up the mess.
43. Offering Catnip Tequila to underage students is strictly prohibited.
44. So is offering it to the other teachers.
45. And then proceeding to play dare or dare with them.
46. I am not allowed to participate in games of truth or dare anymore.
47. If I see something out of the corner of my eye, I must make sure it's actually there before shouting and running after it to try and smash it.
48. I will not try to extract Crona's black blood.
49. I will not try to kill Black*Star, even if he started it.
50. SPONGES ARE FOR CLEANING AND NOTHING ELSE.
51. A human femur is not a toy.
52. Especially not when still attached to its owner.

Description
Fifty Things Stein is Not Allowed to Do:
1. I must not under any circumstances dissect a student or staff member.
2. Not even Spirit.
3. Even if he's asleep.
4. Nor am I allowed to conduct any kind of experiment on any of them.
5. I must not challenge Marie to a drinking contest at parties.
6. She will win, and it's not fun to wake up to her pounding on the door when I have a hangover.
7. I must not challenge Spirit to a drinking contest at parties.
8. I will win, and Lord Death won't allow me to dissect anyone when I'm drunk.
9. I am no longer allowed to beat up the students. That was a one-time thing.
10. Excalibur is not a squeaky toy.
11. Nor is he a football.
12. I am not to use him as either.
13. When doing a dissection lab in class, I must not lose track and spread the organs all over the counter.
14. Nor alphabetize them.
15. It creeps out the students, which I am told is 'bad'.
16. I am not to threaten to make Blair into meatloaf.
17. Nor catloaf.
18. Not even if she tries to distract my students during class.
19. I am not to drug the students.
20. Even if it is NOT for an experiment.
21. No matter how funny Black*Star is when he's drugged.
22. I must not fill a water pistol with soul-sapping water and use it on the students that misbehave.
23. Correction, I am not to use it on ANY of my students.
24. Death the Kid does not take well to being told that his hair is asymmetrical.
25. Telling stories about Spirit is not nice, and Lord Death will reaper-chop me if I do.
26. Even if they are true.
27. I am not to strangle Justin.
28. Nor am I to steal his headphones.
29. Asking the students if they want to play "operation" with me at parties will be reprimanded with a reaper-chop.
30. Or a Maka-chop.
31. I will not sexually harass Spirit, even if I am only teasing.
32. Licking is considered sexual harassment, even when it's for an experiment.
33. I must never go to Chupa Cabra's under any circumstances at all.
34. Even if Tezca invites me.
35. I can no longer leave school premises without alerting a staff member first.
36. Sometimes people throw up when they're sick, but sometimes they're just happy. I must ask before offering medical help.
37. I will look behind me when using my chair to get around the halls.
38. I will not use the first thing I grab from my pocket in a pen fight. It might be a scalpel.
39. I will not swap the pills in the Dispensary with some of my own, even though technically that would make it Nygus that was drugging the students.
40. Dancing with Marie in public is okay. "Experimenting" on Marie in public is not.
41. Nor is eating pie off her.
42. I must not make any student dissect something if they don't want to. I will have to clean up the mess.
43. Offering Catnip Tequila to underage students is strictly prohibited.
44. So is offering it to the other teachers.
45. And then proceeding to play dare or dare with them.
46. I am not allowed to participate in games of truth or dare anymore.
47. If I see something out of the corner of my eye, I must make sure it's actually there before shouting and running after it to try and smash it.
48. I will not try to extract Crona's black blood.
49. I will not try to kill Black*Star, even if he started it.
50. SPONGES ARE FOR CLEANING AND NOTHING ELSE.
51. A human femur is not a toy.
52. Especially not when still attached to its owner.