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ayune — Notes-on fire

Published: 2002-11-14 04:17:12 +0000 UTC; Views: 198; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 5
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Description I find it strange
In this cold - true
That in my heat,
I have no faith,
at least, it seems
in you.

I am afraid of all I've been
Dripping my anger like
blood-honey
Calloused over for
want of Money

But that's got
nothing
to do with you
And I should't let that be
why I do it


if I had a scheme
I broke it


I don't want to be
another fawning fantasie
I falter enough as
it
is
I need
that peace upon me but I know,
Much like my faith in the Son,
that peace can only come
when it is full.

But how do I know, I
ask myself, that I can trust you ?
You Lie, like everyone, but better
and yet-

I know.. because
something in the shifting of
everything lets me
know I'm
not so much a fool as I think.

I am sorry.

Now.... let me find something to believe in.
I have it.



(Like an addict to get a fix
Might well turn to turning tricks
I bend and shift and warp my mind
in alibis and their kind
to get me time...
with you...
it's not healthy.. that's true...
But at this point It's expected, Don't look so
dijected I'm blue...
over you...
Forgive me if my world revolves, forgive me
if my pattern falls forgive me if my equations
solves, forgive me I break my walls...
around you..
around you..)
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Comments: 5

odrade [2003-01-02 00:15:16 +0000 UTC]

Your writing,so emotionally vivid,and sincere,and....lovely,inner struggle,confusion uncertainty and then just admitting and facing what you find an undeniable truth,but do you like it this way,or not?...leaves one wondering......really cool! and i like this bit the best;

"I know.. because
something in the shifting of
everything lets me
know I'm
not so much a fool as I think."

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

anglverona [2002-11-15 05:41:22 +0000 UTC]

Vague and confusing words, but I like that about it. This poem really makes you think. Love the metaphors and stuff. Really beautiful words and interesting ryhmming scheme too.

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9thdoctor [2002-11-14 21:22:06 +0000 UTC]

I loved how this one changes the amount of chain by which it leashes the reader. The lines keep changing length, conveying more and less of a thought, keeping the reader attuned to your emotional ups and downs. Another nice deviation.

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jaded2often [2002-11-14 04:28:45 +0000 UTC]

It's so depressing how cold someone can get, change all their morals, over one person that doesn't deserve it. I loved the ending, showing your faith in yourself, not allowing yourself to become corrupted.

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zuzi [2002-11-14 04:22:58 +0000 UTC]

I like the image of blood-honey.... it just sends images in my brain of cold anger, and sweet revenge.... don't know if that was what you were going for, but it is indeed a spiffy mental image.

Love and pillowfluff sweetie
-Zuzi!-

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