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Azure-Art-Wave — Melancholy

Published: 2018-05-25 23:33:24 +0000 UTC; Views: 1053; Favourites: 69; Downloads: 0
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"I feel that walking has become another chore
I don't think I can go on walking anymore
Forgive me for those words, I know they're but a cliche to you
But life is tiring, my feet are feeling sore
I wish that I could have a bit of time
To heal the ache that is growing stronger all the time
But I know time stops for nobody, let alone me
And so I go inevitably

Whenever things are going rather happily
It turns out life is just playing a trick on me
It's slightly shameful to admit the truth, I end up in tears
And so returns the same old melancholy
I miss when life was just simplicity
And misery wasn't always chasing after me
It's pretty obvious now, I should have left my regret
But I held onto it so foolishly

Maybe I overreact a bit, it hasn't destroyed me yet
Has it? But everything I desire is always just too far to get
Honestly it's just me, brainlessly, so silly
Always hoping for good to be
If that's the case
Then just hear my plea
Pick me up and drop me
Into unfaltering sleep

You say to look hard for a solution
But wouldn't that depend on the person?
So I could never. No, I could never
Believe a word anyone says
I know that everyone has their hardships
It's fairly clear to me that I'm not alone
But how is it that they can just leave them
I just don't know at all

Often I'm told I need to clean up my act
Although maturity is something I lack
And so when some simple little problems arise
I overthink them over and over again
It seems that the world is just a troublesome place
So sometimes I think that I should just end the pain
You're sick, aren't you, dear? I'm sick of the tears
Why can't everything just end simply?

Everything I aspired to be is nothing that will become of me
If my expectations are too far-fetched then just what am I to do?
Give a sign, give a sign, a reason not to die
Give me a chance to prove my worth
I constantly search for
A place to cry
Why won't these tears just stop
Pouring from my eyes?

It's hard to constantly think of the same things
It's just unnecessary to think too much
You always told me stars would guide me back home
Although they only show at night
You always showed me so much kindness
I don't deserve it, I have failed you too much
I think my tiny heart is going to split
Just leave it be for now

Step back from me
Please leave me be
This so deceitful road that I stumble on
Is never going to end

It's getting difficult to manuever
And it's just worthless to try and run away
So I'll just hold my hands over my ears
And block out all this noise
How can I live not knowing what life is?
Sometimes my dreams seem to be more realistic
Obviously I can't be called happy
Then what am I after all?"

"(...)

And I'll be fine on the outside

So I just sit in my room

After hours with the moon
And think of who knows my name
Would you cry if I died?
Would you remember my face? (...)

I sound fine on the outside

Sometimes I feel lost sometimes I'm confused
Sometimes I find that I'm not alright
And I cry, and I cry, and I cry"

hah... This is a vent thing. And these songs represent exactly and perfectly what I feel right now... What I always feel deep inside really.

I think I'm just... tired. Of everything.

Of school. Of my thoughts. Of my feelings. Of myself. Of my life.

Sometimes I feel like living is just too complicated for my fragile heart and mind and I'd just rather not do it at all.

It's kind of ironic how I'm always the one trying to cheer everybody up so they don't feel like this. 

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Comments: 19

Shipley-Dipley [2018-05-28 22:57:42 +0000 UTC]



I-I I feel the same way, I'm not going into deep in my life since it's not about me. But I've always seemed to be alone and the outcast wanting to fit in. I love your art by the way, check out more soon <3

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Azure-Art-Wave In reply to Shipley-Dipley [2018-05-29 00:07:10 +0000 UTC]

It's kind of relieving to know I'm not the only one feeling that way though. Thanks for the compliment ^^

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Shipley-Dipley In reply to Azure-Art-Wave [2018-05-29 00:07:44 +0000 UTC]

<3 
Absolutely. I have been trying to catch up with Season 8 thus far. 

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Angelea-Phoenix [2018-05-27 13:35:20 +0000 UTC]

 
I don’t know what to say that hasn’t already been said, but if you ever need anyone to vent to, or anything at all, I’m here for you Liv <3

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Azure-Art-Wave In reply to Angelea-Phoenix [2018-05-27 18:40:16 +0000 UTC]

Awwwn thank you! I'm slowly being able to get back on my feet. I mostly try to draw so that I ignore those feelings but bit by bit I'll manage to actually get over them ^^

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Taka-Scar-Kovu01 [2018-05-26 06:16:50 +0000 UTC]

We are here for you no matter what

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Azure-Art-Wave In reply to Taka-Scar-Kovu01 [2018-05-26 11:16:52 +0000 UTC]

Thank you for the support ^^ it makes me really happy.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Taka-Scar-Kovu01 In reply to Azure-Art-Wave [2018-05-26 18:37:23 +0000 UTC]

Of course

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

ValiaAnimation [2018-05-26 06:11:35 +0000 UTC]

It’s gonna be okay darling, I promise, it’s tough, veery tough, but you are getting trough every single hard day strongly waiting for the light
Don’t worry, that light will come, the pain will end and you’ll be fine
My dear friend, I wish I could do more for you... for now, I send you a big hug, please remember to breath, drink water, and eat nice things so at least your body will be okay, we all love and support you, you are a strong indipendent woman, it’s going to be okay, I promise.
If you need to talk keep in mind I’m always here, on insta snapchat or whatever, don’t worry about bothering me, I promise you you wont, I want to be here for you, we are friends after all
Keep your mind on good things as much as you can, if you can’t find any in the present think of your ideal future or something good that happen in the past, talk with someone about what concerns you and breath, I know how hard ot is to breath when your chest just feel so tight it want to collapse, but trust me, our bodies works thanks to oxygen so you really need to breath if you want to survive, and I
I want you to survive.
The pain WILL end.
You WILL be happy again.
We are ALL here with you.
It’s going to be okay soon, I promise.

Call/write me anytime if you need me okay? I’m here.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Azure-Art-Wave In reply to ValiaAnimation [2018-05-26 11:56:34 +0000 UTC]

By the time I reached the middle of the message my eyesight was already too blurry to read

You have no idea of how happy this makes me. All I can say right now is thank you, really.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

ValiaAnimation In reply to Azure-Art-Wave [2018-05-26 19:55:19 +0000 UTC]

You where there for me when I needed someone, you made me smile, you pulled me up as I was down, you became my friend and I so now you’re stuck with me my dear, I’m gonna stick by your side to be the one that cheers you up at 3 in the morning, the one that makes silly faces and even sillier drawings to male you laugh, the one you can cry on at any time any day.
Dude. I’m your friend. 
I’m totally staying by your side til the end of this shit, don’t worry about that.

Anytime sweetie, really, don’t even think about it, as soon as you feel lonely, sad or whatever, even just slightly upset, come write me, I’mma be here for ya
it’s a god damn promise. 

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

CastoroChiaro [2018-05-26 03:46:39 +0000 UTC]

I can definitely relate to this feeling. I hope things get better for you soon.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Azure-Art-Wave In reply to CastoroChiaro [2018-05-26 11:17:32 +0000 UTC]

It relaxes me to know that there are people feeling the same and I'm not alone. Thanks.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

deadaccount5678 [2018-05-26 00:30:12 +0000 UTC]

I am so sorry to hear that you are feeling like this. I hope that you begin to recover, move forward, and just feel better soon.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Azure-Art-Wave In reply to deadaccount5678 [2018-05-26 11:17:42 +0000 UTC]

Thanks

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Microwaved-Box [2018-05-25 23:40:13 +0000 UTC]

👍: 0 ⏩: 2

Azure-Art-Wave In reply to Microwaved-Box [2018-05-26 11:55:26 +0000 UTC]

This really makes me happy. Thanks

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Microwaved-Box In reply to Microwaved-Box [2018-05-25 23:46:38 +0000 UTC]

you're not alone, life is messy, senseless and complicated, but the fact that you're getting through it every single day makes you stronger, braver, and hopefully kinder, its ok to be down some days and to want a shoulder to cry on. never feel bad for feeling bad and remember that life is just beginning.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Azure-Art-Wave In reply to Microwaved-Box [2018-05-26 11:17:58 +0000 UTC]

This really means a lot to me, thanks.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0