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Published: 2007-08-13 20:27:09 +0000 UTC; Views: 2779; Favourites: 57; Downloads: 0
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This is actually very personal for me, but I think that it is part of the 'healing process' and having the whole wide world (or a comparatively inconsequential percentage of it) being aware of my problem is more likely to discourage it from getting worse.First off, if you have an eating disorder, or if you think you have one, get help for it.
It is VERY difficult to get better on your own.
Or even with help.
A common misconception about eating disorders is that they are not an authoritative affliction; that they are conventionally experienced by superficial teenage girls seeking attention.
While that description may be apt in particular contexts, like most psychological or physical disorders, unless you have experienced it yourself, the suffering experienced is absolutely incommunicable and incomprehensible.
To the people who know me who 'know,' they think that the solution is easy: eat something (I think it's incredibly tactless to say this to somebody with an eating disorder :\).
But every time you open up the refrigerator or cupboard, there is an impenetrable barrier.
It just seems impossible to stop.
Every time I think that I am recovering there is some type of relapse, something that sends me spiralling.
I have to get better.
I know I have to.
I WANT to get better.
(This will probably end up being some douchebag's 'thinspiration' later on, and I really don't want it to be.)
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Comments: 22
this is very dark and captures how serious eating disorders are, i have struggled with anorexia for 8 years, Β and i want to get better...but i cant yet-your description is so accurate of this disease, too many people have stereotypical opinions about eating disorders, that they are about vanity, simply looking thin, never eating etc...they go so much deeper than that, they are about self hatred, insecurity, feeling inadequate and alone...this was very inspiring to me, as i am very secretive about my illness, i hope i can show others how dangerous eating disorders through my artwork in the future...
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I think it's verry beautiful and strong of you that you did this.
You will bet better dear, don't worry, you are stong enough
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I am very proud of you.
all my love,
zainab.
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You are very brave, an incredible courage
.***
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i hope for your healing and am glad you are facing these monsters... i know monsters are easier to ignore-- so power to you
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Extraordinarily strong and sky-falling-on-you-like. I know how it is not being friends with food. I admire you.
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dear annie,
this is nathan^_^ you are simply amazing. your genius knows no bounds, your inner pool of creativity is as endless as the ocean and you have such a natural talent for life. I support you one hundred percent and if you EVER need someone to boost your confidence dont hesitate to call me. you will become a greater person through your struggle, we all struggle and what does not kill you only makes you stronger. of most people you and i know this best... honey you are unbelievably strong and i know that what ever decision you make it will be the right one
never give up always keep going.
your friend
Nathan
p.s. ill send you ma cell on myspace
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Your photo if feature in my journal ([link] ) as well as in this news article ([link] ), if you 
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oh yes. i left you some messages on facebook. i dont know how often you get on. but check it out before october. there is some pertinent scrabble party/ independant film series on pbs news.
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i hope i wasnt too pushy when i tried to offer you food. or make you eat your bread instead of crumpling it up.
and im sorry i sort of just tried to be friends. while sort of overlooking some things. im just not good with psychological problems. ill deal with others when i figure my own out right? and ive got quite more than most people know. if you ever feel like having a my problems are suckier verbal fight. ive got plenty. of ammunition.
at least we arent women chinese farmers right? god. im an ass for saying that. i think that if i had complete retention of my memories and i was asked to trade my life for theirs. i probably would, knowing that they would probably make better use of it. i would probably kill myself or try to move to the city to be a low class hooker after the switch, but the experiences ive had are probably much much much better than any of theirs. knowing this would be enough to validate me switching lives with them. 18 years of a semi-comfortable life isnt bad. i cant imagine having fleeting moments of good while the majority of your life is shit and you dont even know that it is shit because all you know is shit.
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but it shouldn't.
i love you.
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i love you too.
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My dear, seeing this picture brings tears to my eyes, I know you can become strong within your healing, and I pray that you find someone to support you so well, (Like Ina 
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