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Baeyah — PruCan - This Is A Letter You Will Never See
Published: 2012-12-06 12:31:58 +0000 UTC; Views: 1276; Favourites: 46; Downloads: 0
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Description I'm warning you now. This one-shot is sad. I was in a not-so-great mood when I wrote it, and I apologize for something so depressing.

Don't hate me. ; n ;

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Gilbert set his pen down, his eyes stinging from the tears that had spilled onto the sheet of paper beneath his hands. He looked over to the picture on the desk, reaching out to carefully stroke his finger down the glass, a blond man's smiling face staring back at him. He stood up out of his chair, pushing it in before taking the piece of paper and folding it, scrawling out a name quickly before grabbing his coat off the chair and slipping into it.

"Every time I think of the past, how we had everything.. how your smile would make my heart flutter.. I can't help but to feel my heart ache and my stomach starts to burn in the thought of the present."

With slow movements, Gil wiped the tears from his eyes and pushed the letter into his pocket. He picked up his car keys at the front door, slipping into his shoes and picking up an old scarf. He stared at the fabric for a minute, running fingers over the little yellow bird on the end of it. He felt tears again, but he pushed them away, pulling the scarf around his neck and opening the door, stepping out into the chilly Canadian air, his boots crunching in the snow as he shut the door and headed for the car.

"Despite our little disagreements and my occasional depression, I always had you there with me. You saved me, more times than I could ever count. You loved me when nobody would."

The car started up with a low purr, hands being placed onto the steering wheel. The albino took a deep breath before glancing behind him, pulling out into the snowy street slowly and carefully. He knew how dangerous this time of year could be, though thankfully he had put on the snow tread tires about a week ago.

"We've been apart for a long time now. A year already. It seems like only yesterday that we were waking up together and snuggling under the blanket before we were ready to be up. Your smiles still make me feel warm when I look back at our pictures."

Red eyes stared blankly at the road as he drove, his silver hair damp with snowflakes and his chest tight. He was still in shock from it all, but it had been a year. He didn't think he could ever accept it.

"It doesn't hurt as much as it used to.. remembering the past. I won't ever be as strong as I was when I was with you, though. I just don't have it in me anymore. I hope that doesn't matter to you, though.. I hope you always just love me for who I am."

Gilbert parked the car, taking a minute as he turned the engine off and took another deep breath. He stared at the empty passenger seat, swallowing back a lump in his throat. He would always cry when he thought about it. There was no doubt about that. But today, he wanted to be strong. At least for a little while. He pushed the door open and stepped out, closing it behind him before pulling his coat close, walking forward and through a set of tall gates.

"I wish I could have been there that night. Perhaps things would have played out differently. You wouldn't be gone.. and we would wake up tomorrow just like normal.. wasting the morning until we were finally hungry enough. You would make pancakes.. and we would plan out the day.. It's funny.. how fate can be so cruel."

Walking among stones, rows upon rows of cold and lifeless marble blocks with names scrawled into them, Gilbert felt everything just crumbling apart. He stopped in front of a newer looking marble angel, slowly getting onto his knees. He pulled an old cloth out of his pocket and reached forward, hand shaking as he wiped snow and dirt away from the stone, the name 'Matthew Williams' coming into his vision. Tears ran freely now, though he tightened his jaw as he put the cloth away and pulled out the letter.

"I'll always love you.. no matter what. Forever and always, even though we can't be together.
      I'm sorry.."

He laid the letter down on the tombstone, wiping at his face. It had been a year since Matt had died.. protecting their adopted daughter when he lost control of the car.. on a patch of black ice on the way home one night from visiting family. Gilbert had to work that night. If he had been there.. maybe he could have saved him.

"This is a letter you will never see.. I love you."

A soft tone rang out from his pocket, and he reached in to grab his phone. He stood up and answered, his voice catching a bit as he spoke.

"I'm okay, Francis. I'll be over to pick up Maddy soon. Just.. give me a few more minutes."

He hung up the phone after the other said goodbye, his eyes on the tombstone. After a while he could feel the cold setting in with the snowflakes drifting down, and he had to turn away and head back to the car.

"Our daughter said her first word. She said 'mommy'. I'm so proud of her.. and I'll be sure to live on for her. She needs to know.. how her adopted 'mother'.. was a hero. We'll see you again in time, Matt. So wait for us.."
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Comments: 59

Deductions504 [2015-05-31 03:05:58 +0000 UTC]

*emo corner*

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ramendangosenbei [2015-01-12 07:11:23 +0000 UTC]

This made me cry

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polarphoenix590 [2014-07-24 18:58:38 +0000 UTC]

This made me cry... I never cry over fan fiction... THE FEELS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  

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Baeyah In reply to polarphoenix590 [2014-07-24 19:04:52 +0000 UTC]

I'm glad you enjoyed it? ;3; Sorry it made you cry, but it made a lot of others cry too.. which in a way makes me happy since it means I was able to produce feelings in people strong enough to get that emotional response. <3

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TheOneAndOnly-K [2013-11-17 00:00:20 +0000 UTC]

DAMN YOU MADE ME CRY!!


Great story though~!

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Baeyah In reply to TheOneAndOnly-K [2013-11-17 08:03:13 +0000 UTC]

I'm glad you liked it! And yes, I've made quite a few people cry it seems. ;3;

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TheOneAndOnly-K In reply to Baeyah [2013-11-17 14:31:24 +0000 UTC]

;w; Damn writing...

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FallAutumns [2013-10-13 23:02:07 +0000 UTC]

MY ARGUMENT USED TO BE "Prussia will never die!!" BUT NOW IT'S "NOBODY'S GONNA DIE!!! EVAR!!! YOU HEAR ME WRITERS? NEVVVVVVVAAAAAAAARRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!"

<----

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Baeyah In reply to FallAutumns [2013-10-14 00:31:41 +0000 UTC]

Hey hey, with all this feedback from you guys with so much feels, I may do something drastic one day with this little AU story..
I think you guys might like the idea that's forming in my head. > v <

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FallAutumns In reply to Baeyah [2013-10-16 00:18:11 +0000 UTC]

BRING CANADA BACK!!!!

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furchild1204 [2013-09-24 23:22:14 +0000 UTC]

  Aaaand there go my feels.

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Baeyah In reply to furchild1204 [2013-09-24 23:32:38 +0000 UTC]

I still haven't gone back to re-read my own creation. That's how bad these feels are.
(Then again, I almost never go back and read them..)

Glad you liked it though? ; 3 ;

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IxHearxThexDrumsxDad [2013-06-01 00:19:38 +0000 UTC]

I-I just th-thought it was a b-br-breakup story... When I got to the part about th-the tombstone my j-jaw dr-dropped... THAT WAS SO SAD! (I was stuttering cause I am almost crying) None the less it was a BEAUTIFUL piece and I loved it! I cannot describe how amazing it was and I hope whatever you were sad about got better.

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Sarrowcus [2013-05-23 23:19:18 +0000 UTC]

T-This.... there.. there are no words....
None at all.

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Baeyah In reply to Sarrowcus [2013-05-23 23:57:50 +0000 UTC]

*pets* ; v ;

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Sarrowcus In reply to Baeyah [2013-05-24 00:24:10 +0000 UTC]

*hugs*You're so good at writing. I mean, when someone can get so many people to cry about such a short story.. that's just..
I'm watching you now.

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Baeyah In reply to Sarrowcus [2013-05-24 00:47:31 +0000 UTC]

; 3 ; Awwwwww thank you so much! I'll be sure to keep writing as much as I draw!~ > w <

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Sarrowcus In reply to Baeyah [2013-05-24 20:05:57 +0000 UTC]

No problem~ And make sure you do; I'll be watching for more~

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CrystalOokami [2013-01-02 16:35:29 +0000 UTC]

Matthew!
TTnTT
My Gawd, the feels!

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Baeyah In reply to CrystalOokami [2013-01-03 00:54:02 +0000 UTC]

Yessss. So many feels that I haven't even gone back to read my own story even once. :c

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CrystalOokami In reply to Baeyah [2013-01-03 06:44:40 +0000 UTC]

My gawd this is potent!

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SilverSongLark [2012-12-15 11:30:30 +0000 UTC]

This is amazing.....I write to get emotions out as well...but this is really gooda

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Baeyah In reply to SilverSongLark [2012-12-15 16:32:47 +0000 UTC]

Thank you. ; v ;

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SilverSongLark In reply to Baeyah [2012-12-18 17:24:04 +0000 UTC]

Your Welcome... >J<

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isabelle705 [2012-12-10 08:14:59 +0000 UTC]

I love stories like this~ Be right back, I'm going to that corner labeled 'emo'.

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Baeyah In reply to isabelle705 [2012-12-10 11:03:02 +0000 UTC]

..I hate labels. :c
But thanks for liking the story?

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isabelle705 In reply to Baeyah [2012-12-11 07:44:18 +0000 UTC]

NO,NOTTHELABELS! Yes.

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Thickerthansmoothies [2012-12-09 02:36:38 +0000 UTC]

Prussia has invaded my vital feels..... ;A;

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Baeyah In reply to Thickerthansmoothies [2012-12-09 03:22:46 +0000 UTC]

He invaded everyone's vital feels. :c

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scarlettrouge13 [2012-12-08 14:03:54 +0000 UTC]

This is so amazing and sad im crying

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Baeyah In reply to scarlettrouge13 [2012-12-08 14:30:14 +0000 UTC]


; u ;

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AkinaD [2012-12-08 02:57:30 +0000 UTC]

;-; dude~ I cried, that's...that's just so sad...

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Baeyah In reply to AkinaD [2012-12-08 07:17:27 +0000 UTC]

*nodnod* I think everyone that's commented so far has cried. Even me, the writer. ; u ;
But it's good to cry, yes?

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AkinaD In reply to Baeyah [2012-12-08 18:53:45 +0000 UTC]

Si~

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Prowls-little-angle2 [2012-12-07 23:34:58 +0000 UTC]

Oh my god...so sad...I'm crying...oh man...
This was beautiful. The emotions...dear god, the FEEEEEEEEELS!!!

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Baeyah In reply to Prowls-little-angle2 [2012-12-07 23:54:27 +0000 UTC]

Yes, the feels! I needed to get my own feels out, and I'm glad so many people get the same feels from it as I did.
I'm glad you enjoyed it, despite the sadness. ; u ;

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sar-sar-is-me [2012-12-07 11:57:17 +0000 UTC]

My God, Mattie!! *crying* *emo corner*

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Baeyah In reply to sar-sar-is-me [2012-12-07 12:04:33 +0000 UTC]

*patpat* I know, I know.

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sar-sar-is-me In reply to Baeyah [2012-12-07 23:30:34 +0000 UTC]

*hugs tightly* WHY?!
It's really good, by the way!

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Baeyah In reply to sar-sar-is-me [2012-12-07 23:53:10 +0000 UTC]

Thank you! ; v ;

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sar-sar-is-me In reply to Baeyah [2012-12-08 03:37:53 +0000 UTC]

You're welcome!

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Xianta-chan [2012-12-07 05:46:34 +0000 UTC]

I was reading this on the bus and I was trying so hard not to cry It also didn't help that I was listening to songs from HetaOni It was so beautiful!! This story has given me some ideas for pictures!!! My babies!! TTATT I love this story so much!! *Cries some more*

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Baeyah In reply to Xianta-chan [2012-12-07 09:41:42 +0000 UTC]

*hugs* Don't worry, I posted it up on FanFiction and had someone crying in computer class.
And you know.. it's sad because Gil lost his Matt.. but it's all going to be okay because he's got the 1 year old Maddy(Madeline) to look after. Their pretty little adopted daughter. ; v ;
AND MATT WAS A HERO. FOR PROTECTING THEIR BABY. So. It's not ALL bad.
But anyways.. I'm so happy that even though it's an emotional roller coaster, my story has been so well received. <3

And.. did you say pictures? > 3 >

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Xianta-chan In reply to Baeyah [2012-12-07 10:02:40 +0000 UTC]

Well at least I'm not the only one to cry (Or almost cry) in public, but believe me if I wasn't in public I would've been bawling my eyes out XD I tend to be more openly emotional when I'm by myself.

It is sad, I almost started crying at the first paragraph ;w; And I can just imagine Gil being a loving father towards Maddy! Whenever I think of that I just squee inside!
THAT JUST PROVES THAT ANYONE CAN BE A HERO!! Oh Matthew!!

I love fanfictions that make me all emotion, I love reading angst just to be on that emotional rollercoaster and you have definitely done that! So I thank you!!

Maybeeee~~ XD Yeah, when I read this I had soooo many ideas for pictures~~ X3

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Baeyah In reply to Xianta-chan [2012-12-07 11:24:07 +0000 UTC]

I seem to get a lot more response from my fanfictions.. Though I have a couple that I need to finish.. oops.
And yes, anyone can be a hero.~

Also I'm glad that people like the emotional side of pairings too. They realize that it's not all about the yaoi smut. Yeah, it's nice once in a while to get the two characters closer physically, but just like real relationships, it's not supposed to be JUST about sex.

..I want to write more one-shots. *sob*

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Xianta-chan In reply to Baeyah [2012-12-07 11:30:23 +0000 UTC]

That's probably because more people go on FanFiction to read fanfictions instead of DA...
:3

I like it when the pairings are actually portrayed as actually having a relationship, not just being sex buddies, although I do like to read a bit of smut now and again but as long as it has an actual story line not just 'Bam! Sex!'. I like it when people right about problems they go through together instead of their relationship being 'perfect'.

I want to draw more... But it takes too long on the computer... *Sighs*

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Baeyah In reply to Xianta-chan [2012-12-07 12:08:11 +0000 UTC]

I mean in general, my fanfictions get more attention all the time. = w =
It's fun to write, too.

Yes, yes, and yes. I seriously love it when they write about problems. Most of the time I refuse to read sad fics, but it's good every now and then to read one just to cry. But of course it needs to have SOME sort of happy hint to it for me to like it.
Like mine, Gil won't suicide because he has Maddy to take care of. And he's happy that he still has their daughter. c:

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Xianta-chan In reply to Baeyah [2012-12-07 12:25:43 +0000 UTC]

It's fun drawing :3

God, I hate it when people write about Gil or Matt being suicidal or self harming, they're not like that at all! All I can find are fanfics like that nowadays, whatever happened to the PruCan fluffiness?! The sweet!Gilbert, the HAPPY Matthew. Sometimes it just irritates me.

I like how you added that into it, sure Gil gets a bit depressed that Matthew died, but that's normal, he hasn't cut, hasn't tried committing suicide, because you have written him like he knows that he needs to live on, for Maddy.

((Sorry I'm getting a bit serious about this, I'm a bit tired and when I'm tired I take things more seriously))

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Creep-Ella [2012-12-06 22:48:31 +0000 UTC]

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Baeyah In reply to Creep-Ella [2012-12-06 23:59:06 +0000 UTC]

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