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PROLOGUE

She knew she wasn’t supposed to have a hope. As the higher the hope she had, the more painful the downfall would be. But still, she had a hope for promises he had made long years before, and they lived in the ruins of her broken heart.
Yellowing pages of diaries and the falling leaves reminded her of the passing years. Somehow, when I asked her about it, she would only tell me the good days and never mentioned anything about the bad ones. Maybe, I assumed, deep down there, she had forgiven all the past even she had never had a chance to forgotten them.
With a glance of her look, she shut me up. And after the silence took us all, she probably started her story with whispering his name.
A name that would never erased of Alzheimer she suffered since the last year. She called him My Baby.

She’s my favorite grandmother. May. I used to call her by her name as she didn’t allow us to call her granny. It would make her feel a little older, she said. I and her other five grand children agreed that she’s not that old in her fifties.
The man, that she called her baby, is the one whom I called Bert, my grandfather. She always said that their love stories are far beyond beautiful, it was wonderful and in some way, miraculous.
But she never mentioned the detail. No stories indeed. She even refused to mention her real name, neither Bert’s name. She said they were long gone as their youth disappear.
“One day, sweet pie. One day I would tell you everything…” she said.
“When would that happen? I wanted to hear it from you…”
“One day, when I was only a crippled lady with nothing I could do except retelling stories… I would surely tell you everything. Now, since I have the power to walk, let’s have some walk in the park…”
And one day, as she had promised me, she called me from her bedroom to tell me stories I’ve never heard before. Her stories.

***
CHAPTER ONE

It was a very beautiful summer. May and her college friends were having holiday in the Southern Lake of St. Therese when some guys came and crush their party. They weren’t just guys, but they’re friends of Camille’s boyfriend, Frank.
With a very displeasing sound of roaring car machine and a loud music from their radio, they came and rushed in. May stood up from where she was sitting and went away; wandered into the wood to find a place she could find quietness.
Finally, she found a huge oak tree, with a big stone under it. After swept the damp dust from it, she sat on the stone and continued her book.
She was a book worm, and until many decades later, she’d always known as the girl with a book in her hand.
“Excuse me…” a sudden voice broke May’s concentration.
“Yes?” in an unexpressed anger she answered.
“I… I didn’t mean to disturb you… I just want to sit down here because it was too noisy out there… May I?” the young man asked politely.
“Sure you do. Just don’t make a sound…” May warned him.
“Of course I won’t. I brought my book too…” he showed her his book.
“Hey, I read that book before…” May amazed by what she saw.
“You kidding me. No one in century –besides me- would read that book…” he alarmed an enthusiasm.
“What chapter you are reading now?” she asked.
“I almost finished it…”
“Finished it quickly, I can’t wait to discuss it with someone who really read it…”
Their eyes were met, and suddenly they remembered something. They never mentioned their name.
“I am sorry, I was so rude… My name is May,” the girl said.
“That’s okay. My friends were no more than a group of jerks, no wonder you thought me the same. My name is Bert…”
And that’s how they met each other.

School days, the day that most of the student hates were the most beautiful days after the summer holidays that year. Especially for May and Bert, who previously didn’t notice that they were in the same school for years.
They took the same classes, and took the same project in the same group. They went out together and started to date. And when they kissed under the moonlight, nobody would be amazed; everybody knew that they were in love from the day they met.
Since then, the two love summer more than ever. They had fun together, read books together and had never-ended discussion about many things.
“You were just like one person in two bodies…” said Camille to May.
“What do you mean?” May chuckled.
“Didn’t you see? You two are so alike. I mean, you are two bookworms who like to go to theatres and discuss it all night long. And we are, just ordinary high school students who like to watch movie or hang out in some cool places… No offense,” Camille explained.
No one feel offended. Otherwise, May feel happy with that. What Camille had said was a silent assurance that Bert was really the guy exactly made for her. A bookworm guy, for a bookworm lady.
When Camille and the other girls got married after their high school graduation –some of them were pregnant before the wedding bell rang- May and Bert went to Harvard to enter law school. Both accepted. Both went there with full of happiness.

The other summer, they decided not to go home and let May’s family took a visit trip there. She would never forget that day they made a quick renovation and cleaned up everything to made a good impression for the family. She would never forget how Bert tried to remove the stain on the wall just to make her mother feel good about him.
But their parents, who came with pride, only saw mistakes everywhere they stepped in. Cheap table cloth, tasteless wallpaper, dirty window. Everything. And where in the end they blame Bert that could give their daughter best services.
“Oh don’t cry…” said Bert when the parents went home that day.
“I didn’t cry for them…” answered May angrily.
“I knew… But let’s see from the bright side. If we were parents, we would do the same thing… wouldn’t we?” he hugged her beloved girl and drew her to his lap.
“You don’t have to defend them…” said the girl.
“I didn’t… I said that all because I love you…”
“I love you too…” her happy face bloomed.
“That’s my girl… give me a kiss…” and they drowned in laughter like there were nothing happened that day.
But May never forgot that fateful summer. Summer after that, and the summer after, and after, she had never went back home again.

***

I’ve never seen my great grandmother. Neither has my mother who lived with my grand mother for her early ages. She said that my grand mother never allowed her grand mother to see her even for once. But lately I know it was wrong, because I saw a picture of mother and her grandmother.
May is just a lady with harsh words and warm heart inside. If you know her better, you’d know why everybody loved her.
Surprisingly, after my uncle was born, my great grandmother started a peace with her. She started to let down the pride and came to May’s house and apologized for what she and her husband have done.
If it’s not because of Bert who let them in, they would probably have never seen my uncle and my mother until their death.
“She always disliked him…” May hummed in very soft voices.
“But, why?” I asked.
May smiled a little. And just in time, a nurse rushed in and told us that it was the medicine time. May pat my hand and let me went home with a huge curiosity.

CHAPTER 2
CHRISTMAS

It wasn’t an accident I could be here in my hometown for Christmas. I had a plan with my boyfriend, Luc, to spend Christmas in Europe; we even have booked two tickets to Switzerland.
But, last week fight was the worst we’ve ever had for years. He hit the table, I threw the dishes, he shouted, I slammed the door. I canceled the trip, he refunded the tickets, I cried, He kept silent. In my desperation, I remembered my mother invitation to have a holiday in my hometown.
So in last minute decision, I drove along my way back to St. Therese. My mother said, May went to a retirement house not so far from my house, and I can reach there ten minutes with car. So the first thing I did when I reached St. Therese was seeing my favorite grandmother.
“Hello? Who are you?” she asked me when I greeted her.
It’s like a jolt of electric shock when she asked me that. She’s getting older, but I didn’t know that it was that bad.
“I…” I stopped when I saw smile on her face. A naughty smile like what she used to do when she mad fun of me.
“Just kidding, sweet pie. Oh, Madeline, what took you so long to see your old woman?” she asked me gratefully. It made me felt a little bit guilty for not coming home almost a year.
I chose not answer her question.
“You look okay, May…” I said.
“You’re too kind! Can’t you see I rot in boredom here? But at least, you can accompany me until New Year,” she grinned.
“Sure I’ll do…” I made my promise to her.
“So, what brought you here?” she knew I wouldn’t be there if nothing has happened.
“I screwed…”
“Sure you do…”
Silence replaced the excitement.
“Everybody does,” she continued.

***

Everybody screwed at least one in their lifetime.
For May, it was when she knew that Bert did a crime, and did nothing to stop him. As two Harvard graduated lawyer, they both know that it would put Bert in jail for what he did, but she didn’t say anything.
“He wasn’t a con man…” she defended.
It was a very hard year, when even every university graduate could even get a job. The only job offered was a cleaner in the university with underpaid salary.
Inflation rate was very high, life become so hard, and their savings in the bank is almost nothing. After marriage, both never received any money from their parents, it means they have to do real work.
May was pregnant of my uncle, and Bert was jobless, they really life in a hard way.
Until one day, Bert came home with a thousand bucks and told May to buy everything she wanted. She was surprised at first, and curios. But Bert told her not to worry about money anymore, because he had found a proper job to earn money for their little family.
Bert started to go out at night, to somewhere May never knew. Sometimes he went when everybody sleeping and came home before any creatures woke up. He woke up at ten and have a nice day walking around with his pregnant wife, brought her to the doctor and all.
It was seem to be perfect, but not for May. She thought her husband was a burglar, so she sought in every newspaper the news about burgle or robbery. She found nothing.
She suspected her husband as a drug dealer, so that she sought in the newspaper everything about it, and found nothing. Even she sought in entire house to found out something that might would gave her any clue about what he did.
Weeks later, she was still as clueless as she had been, she asked her man about what he did.
“It was nothing… I worked…” Bert refused to tell.
“I know it. But what kind of job you are in to?”
“It’s nothing to tell… I don’t want you to feel displeased…”
May silenced. The blue eyes sought the truth from the eyes that met hers summertime five years ago. It begged for the truth and hope that it would be true.
“It was for us, Honey…” he opened his mouth.
“Tell me…” her tone lowered, she sat down and listen.
He told her all she wanted to know.

It was first, an expedition company who needed a lawyer to help them out from a trouble. They took black market goods from the ship to fulfill the needs of market that started to be scarce in the city. But then the needs of the city had become the need of the company.
Bert was there to take the responsibility of the black market stocks. He went there at night when the harbor was unguarded, and the black market ship arrived.
He and his friends were controlling some slaves to pick the goods, and in hours, the goods have removed from the ship into the secret warehouse, and the ship went away without any trace. They saved for awhile.

“Have you ever thought about me? Have you ever thought about your child in my womb?” asked the lady to him that night she knew the truth.
“I did, but that made me want to do this even more then ever…”
“What was in your mind…” sighed May.
“Please… I just want to see you, my family, live in prosperity. I don’t want to see you suffer from financial trouble…”
“There must be any other way…”
“Mention it!” Bert gasped.
“You are a Harvard graduated lawyer…” May insisted.
“I haven’t even offered to be an associate, May!” Bert shouted in despair.
May nodded, tried to understand even all the reasons seemed to be unacceptable for morality. But the man in front of him, Bert, is a husband and a father going to be that just wants to give the best for his family. It’s just an effort to bring this family into a better shape.
“I just don’t want my children raised by a criminal…” she finally shouted her mind out.
“I know…”
“You can build your own office…” continued May.
“I will… with this money…”
May said no more. Bert came towards and hugged her wife with love.
“I love you… that’s why I want to protect you…”
“I love you too… that’s why I don’t want you put yourself in trouble,” said her, cried in his chest.
The office was built in less than a month. Bert rented an office in the main street and found a partner to start the new business. And by the time their first son born, Alexander, Bert has become popular as a good lawyer in town.

***

“He never get caught?” I asked May when she finished her story.
“No… Never. But still, he had to have some ‘business travel’ to hide from the investigator…” sighed May.
“I wanted to hear more,” I said to her.
“Sure you do, but you have to head back before your mom calls and tell you that the dinner is ready…” she laughed.
“No, that’s not all…”
“So, what else?”
“I haven’t seen them… The first place I headed when I arrived to St. Therese is here, to see you,” I said to her truthfully.
“What an honor… Please go home, your mom will be very delighted to see you,” she patted my shoulder.
“Undoubtedly…” I smiled.
“Great! Will I see you tomorrow?” I could hear a sound of hope in her voice.
“Why not? I have nothing to do,” I waved my hand and said goodbye.
I missed May so much. It was never across my mind until I saw her in her bedroom. And I would never forget her face when she saw me coming in.
I drove my car to my childhood home. I know I missed my family too, and I am so glad I still have my time to see them.

CHAPTER 3
FULL MOON

The most beautiful view you can see in my hometown is at the South Lake of St. Therese, especially when there is full moon in summer time.
You can see the perfect blending line of the water and the sky far away there. You can witness the precise reflection of the moon in the lake water that sometimes moved because of the fishes swimming beneath them.
The sweet smell of dandelions would remind you of you childhood, when everything was less complicated.
I went there after the dinner. The lake is no more than a mile from my home, and I decided to take a walk to reach the place. The sound of my footsteps made consistent rhythm echoes, accompany me to my way there.
Nothing has changed from this place. But unfortunately, I couldn’t see the lake perfectly because it was freezing of the winter wind. I chose take a seat nearby the lake to think about many thing.
My life, my career, my relationship with Luc. Everything seemed to be perfect while I was in New York. But why did none of them bring me peace like what I got when I arrived here in St. Therese?
I should find out why, or I would always be haunted with curiosity.
“I’ve never seen you before…” a voice jumped me out from where I seated.
“W-who are you?” I tried not to trembled but I couldn’t make it well.
“Don’t worry, I am no ghost…”
Slowly, someone woke up from the bushes and rose to show himself. He grinned and greeted me politely, and he mentioned his name.
“Jack…” said him to me.
“Madeline…”
“I’ve heard many things about you…” his eyebrow connected while he was thinking.
“No you wouldn’t. That’s an old trick…” I laughed.
“I did… You are the girl with red hat in the first elementary year…”
I looked at him carefully. Was he someone that I knew?

***

May made me the hat.
She knew that I love the ‘Red Riding Hood’ story and a little bit obsessed to be like her. I used to wear a red bulky blanket as a hood to show her that I was the red riding hood.
“Do you really want to get caught by a wolf?” May taunted me.
“No, I don’t. But I am not afraid of wolf… I will fight to save you, Granny!” I said to her.
She laughed loud and happy.
“You are my red riding hood. I will make you a red hat, so you can use it to go to school…” she said.
“But the red riding hood didn’t wear a hat…”
“Yes, I know… because she didn’t have one. The modern version of ‘The Red Riding Hood’ is now ‘The Red Riding Hat’,” She assured me.
So, there I was, with childish enthusiasm wearing a red head to school where hat was forbidden to be worn at the class.
The matter was I refused to take it off. The teacher ran around the class to chase me and made me let go my hat. I was a red riding hood and all of the teachers were the wolves, so I ran.
Mother was called to the school to see the headmistress, Miss Cromwell. She explained, again, all the school rules, and none of them are important. I said to her that I was the red riding hood, but she didn’t care. Since then, I was no longer believed in formal education.

But who is this guy, came out of nowhere and brought back my childhood story to me. I completely forgot about those things but he remembered.
“I am Jack,” he re-introduced his name.
“Yes, as I noticed…” I said to him.
“I was the headmistress’ nephew, and I was in the school when you were running around with your hat…” he laughed.
I too, laughed with no intention of happiness.
“And I was your mentor once in science club in your junior high school…”
I snapped back, and quiet. Is he?
He smiled.
“Welcome back to St. Therese. It’s been a long time,” he re-greeted me.
“Thank you…” I said.
“Want to have a walk?” he offered.
“No, thank you. I would like to have a seat, but if you want to, please…” I smiled to him.
“No. It’s nothing… I was stargazing when you came…”
“Did I interrupt you?”
“No, it’s okay. I’d like a companion, if you don’t mind…” his laughter broke the ice. I smiled and sat near him.
It’s been a long time, and I barely remember him. But somehow, I know he wasn’t lying to me. He knew me, and he remembered me. Sometimes it’s nice to have someone that would remember you even you’re gone. At least, I’ve got one.
Jack went to Oxford while I went to Harvard like May. He was a brilliant student and he said that he received scholarship for his Master Degree.
Every holiday, he flies from L.A., the place he worked at, back to St. Therese. That made me ashamed for my self a little because I had been gone for almost a year even New York is not too fat from St. Therese.
Two years before, Jack managed a new business in L.A., and it was a big deal for him. He built a restaurant with a partner, and in months, he could get the turnover.
“Money is not the problem, May…” he continued his story.
I didn’t reply.
“It’s live that you search. It’s passion. It’s something like what your granny did…”
“You know my granny?”
“She’s popular,” Jack giggled.
“Yeah, sure,” I laughed as well.
We talked until the sun rose. Jack stood up. I thought the conversation was over, but no, he tapped his belly and said,
“I am hungry. Let’s find something to eat. The bakery is not too far away, and the first bread made early… Maybe if we are lucky enough we could make Mr. Stanley give us for free…”
And like a flashback, Jack and I walked like two children beneath the morning sun.

***

“You woke up early, Sweet pie?” May greeted me as I walked in.
“Hey! I brought you new guy…” I said to her.
“Ah, that’s what an old lady like me need the most…” She laughed.
Jack entered the room and greeted May like an old friends.
“He’s not a new guy! You little prick! Where have you been, handsome boy?” May became more enthusiastic seeing that he came with me.
“We have just taken a walk…” I said.
“You both? Ah! Youngsters are really lucky…” May chuckled.
“I was stargazing when your little granddaughter came and interrupted my contemplation…”
“But it seems you didn’t mind any interruption from a pretty girl like her, did you?” May teased him and me.
My cheek blushed in red. How could May said like that to me and him, as we’re not that close. Or, are we really have been that close?
Or it’s just the moonlight and lunar effect?

CHAPTER 4
CARNIVAL

Once in a year, a group of gypsies come to town and make a carnival. Town people were always happy with their coming there. It comes with circus, freak shows, and a night bazaar.
I always remembered the cotton candies, and the cotton candy seller who made a huge pink cotton candy for us. It was huge sweet cotton, melted in your mouth. I was crazy about it, even until I’ve grown up.
May and Bert always spoiled me, bought me everything I wanted. That would be a fight starter between them and my mother. She wanted to raise her children like what she desired. Two month after the carnival over, my mother told me that we moved to another house. The house my mother and father live until now.
But it means almost nothing to me. I used to ran down the hill and met my grand parents just to get some sweets, and some allowance. I was their favorite girl, have I told you that?
May said to us, me and Jack, that carnival was somewhat different when she was younger.

***

The caravan came that day. The younger kids ran home to tell their parents that it would be soon a carnival in town. With the same enthusiasm, they started to discuss whether they would come or not. When it would be and how they would get there.
The teenagers rushed into their closet to find the best dress to wear when the carnival begun. The guys started to pick a date, and the girl tried as hard as they could to be picked.
It’s more than a prom.
The gypsies’ decades ago were so much more original. They established tents, and stall, and trade traditional goods. One of them lived in a small gloomy caravan, where everyone could enter to see a fortune teller.
May went there once.
The fortune teller was an old lady with colorful dress. She sat down behind her table, and she held a deck of tarot cards.
First, she asked May about what she wanted to know in her future. And then she asked her to scramble the cards before she dealt it in the table. One by one the cards opened.
“You are okay,” said the fortune teller.
Am I? How could it be?” May staring at the opened cards, haven’t got any clue about what’ve been being revealed.
“Good commitment, good future…”
May sighed. She didn’t want to know such information, she wanted the detail, but it seemed that the old lady could not answer her.
“One I could tell you…”
“Good or bad?”
“Depends…”
“Depends on what?”
“Depends on what you think about death…”
“I think it’s an over…”
“So, it would be a good thing, because you will die in old age…”
“Thank you…” May started to get confused.
“And you’ll be loved forever…” said the fortune teller so sure with the answer.
“Well… thank you very much…”
“But disease…”
“Disease?”
“Family rage…”
May shut her mouth up, the only thing she could remembered was her mother.
“Good luck…” said the fortune teller as she walked May out of her caravan.

***

St. Therese was never more extravagant than times when the carnival came. It was the only fun they had, except the television. There was May and Bert years after her conversation with the fortune teller.
“So here you are…” said the fortune teller while drinking her hot ginger tea, when May and Bert accidentally passed across the caravan.
“Hi you…” May greeted the old woman.
She looked older than what she was remembered. May thought fearfully, that one day she would get older and looked like that gypsy.
“Oh, dear… I saw you with this handsome lad long before you met him. But I guessed none yet happened, has it?” she grinned to the young lady.
“What did she say?” Bert asked.
“Bullshits…” May smiled and grabbed his hand, took him away before those old lips said another words.
“You went to the fortune teller,” Bert giggled.
“It was long time ago,” May shouted. She felt warm brushes her cheeks as she said her nonsense arguments.
“But you did go there…”
“Yes, I did. Before I met you…”
“I know… Because now you don’t have to worry about your future anymore, do you?” he grinned meaningfully.
“Say no more! No one sees the future…”
“I see it now,” Bert said slowly, looked through her eyes, and suddenly draw her closer.
May shouted a little.
“You are my future that I see. I don’t need any fortune teller to tell me so…” Bert smiled to her.
“You made me shy! Stop it!” May pushed him away.
“Would you marry me?”
There are many good stories about carnival in St. Therese. But one thing she know, that her story is the most beautiful to tell to generations after her. She’s engaged in the middle of the crowd of happiness, under the Ferris wheel and the stars.

***

Jack and I were amazed and silent still.
May smiled at us and patted my hand softly. She pointed at a male nurse over the door. I thought she would continue her story to us.
Instead she opened her mouth and asked to me.
“Do you know what, Sweet pie? The young handsome nurse over there said to me that yesterday he saw ten caravans came to the field near the North East River. Why don’t you take this new guy here take a look at this year’s carnival?”

***

CHAPTER 5
DAYS

Since Luc never called me, I decided not to call him either. Instead, I chose to live my life out here with everything I left here; old friend and my favorite old lady.
Jack came to pick me up at six. He said he wanted to come early to the carnival to see how it starts. I agreed, I said to him, I wanted the biggest first cotton candy made by the cotton candy maker.
He looked casually good. He looked different from what I saw the other day. Today, well, to be honest, he looked handsome. I, in the other side, only brought simple outfits, since I didn’t think that I would go out somewhere in St. Therese.
“You look nice,” I said.
“You look better…” he complied.
“That’s too much, Player…” I laughed. I didn’t remember the last time I laughed with Luc, but it was never better.
The carnival hasn’t been started when we arrived there. Some gypsies prepared the lamps for the stalls and the entertainments. The music hasn’t been played and the merry go round hasn’t been operated.
“Now… what?” asked the young guy beside me.
“We’ll wait…”
“Sure… want to eat something?” he offered.
“There’s no food to sell yet…” I pointed at the gypsies.
“No pointing! That’s rude!”
“They haven’t sold anything yet,” I told him.
“I didn’t say I would buy you something…”
My eyes widened. I couldn’t guess what was in his naughty mind when he left me. I saw him walked through the grasses of the field and found one of the gypsies. I guessed he must asked him way, because the man pointed somewhere and he lead Jack the way.
Not so long after that, I found the answer.
Jack came with one huge cotton candy on his hand. It was the biggest cotton candy I have ever seen and that’s the first cotton candy made in this day’s carnival.
“And this is for you…” he grinned.
“Thank you…” I was so happy so that for that second, I forgot about Luc, and forgot that Luc was never this care to me.

***

“It was nothing!” said Luc to me.
“What was nothing? The kissing? Or the girl? Or it was me who was nothing to you?” I yelled at him.
“I didn’t kiss her…”
“You would if I didn’t come on time…”
“I didn’t mean to…” he defended, weak one.
Not so hard to see what was happened there. I heard from one of my friend that Luc was going to his friend’s bachelor party without telling me where he was going to go.
And I wasn’t so shocked when I saw my boyfriend with a girl on his lap, and they are seemed to be kissing. Or they have, but they didn’t admit it.
“It was nothing…” he said once more, softer.
But I didn’t believe him anymore.

***
“Everybody made a mistake in his life, Maddie,” Jack replied my story without judging.
“I know,” I nodded. But still my heart could not accept that kind of betrayal.
“You would never forgive him, would you?” he asked me back.
“I don’t know…”
“If you couldn’t, don’t force it. It will eat you inside.”
“So… what mistake you’ve been done?” I asked him, refuse to talk about Luc anymore. It was all fun without Luc here.
“I was a Luc…”
“What?”
“Yes I did it… Unfortunately, my ex girlfriend could never forgive me, so that I went away from her. It was really painful to see her hurt like that…”
“Really?” I wondered if what he said to me was all truth.
“Yeah, I didn’t kiss another girl…”
“So…?”
“I kissed another man…”
“What?!” I shouted of my shock.
“I am joking, Maddie. No, I slept with that girl… once. My junior in college…”
“Damn you…” I whispered.
“Yeah, damned me…”
It was all silence, so that I can hear sound of the crowd at the carnival that has begun.
“Merry go round?” he stood and offer his hand to me.
I saw his face before I nodded and smiled. I took his hand and stood beside him.
“I had a crush on you… long before you know my name,” he said. And that night was all different.

***

Fortune teller.
It reminds me to the story told by May the other day. The caravan wasn’t the same as she described, and May never mentioned the name carved on the caravan. But I had the feeling that I had to go inside.
A very old lady sat there behind her crystal ball. She didn’t look at me, as her eyes was really closed and almost blind, but I sensed she knew that I was coming.
“Sit here, young lady…”
“Thank you, Madam,” I sat.
“What’s your name?”
“Madeline…” I said.
“I saw you before…” the old lady talked to herself for awhile and mumbled some words before she talked to me again.
I wondered what she said before.
“Yes, yes… I remembered I saw you years ago, even before you were born,” she giggled, and her eyes was still close.
“So you saw my mom’s USG test?” I giggled with her.
“Young girls were never trust me, but when they’re older, they knew I didn’t talk rubbish. I wondered what brought them there if it wasn’t trust…” She smiled mysteriously.
I didn’t answer as she seemed to talk to herself.
“Yes, yes… so what do you want to know, my dear?”
“I don’t want to know about future, I want to know about today,” I said straightly to the point.
“What do you want to know about today, as to day soon be over here. Oh, dear my sweet child, you are wasting your time talking to me as your future is waiting outside my caravan…”
Jack? She must be kidding me.
“Listen… listen carefully my dear! You have to let go a bird to catch a fish. And your old lady… oh dear… oh dear… I missed her, could you tell your old lady that I am going to miss her?”
May?
“Thank you… this is yours,” I put two dollars on the table and rushed out.
“Maddie? What’s going on?” Jack asked me as I walked out the caravan.
“May… there’s something about my grand mother…” I ran into the retirement house.
May was there, sleeping soundly. And she was okay.
“Do you really believe in fortune teller?” Jack asked me.
I saw him quietly.
“I just don’t want to feel sorry if I didn’t…”

Description
PROLOGUE

She knew she wasn’t supposed to have a hope. As the higher the hope she had, the more painful the downfall would be. But still, she had a hope for promises he had made long years before, and they lived in the ruins of her broken heart.
Yellowing pages of diaries and the falling leaves reminded her of the passing years. Somehow, when I asked her about it, she would only tell me the good days and never mentioned anything about the bad ones. Maybe, I assumed, deep down there, she had forgiven all the past even she had never had a chance to forgotten them.
With a glance of her look, she shut me up. And after the silence took us all, she probably started her story with whispering his name.
A name that would never erased of Alzheimer she suffered since the last year. She called him My Baby.

She’s my favorite grandmother. May. I used to call her by her name as she didn’t allow us to call her granny. It would make her feel a little older, she said. I and her other five grand children agreed that she’s not that old in her fifties.
The man, that she called her baby, is the one whom I called Bert, my grandfather. She always said that their love stories are far beyond beautiful, it was wonderful and in some way, miraculous.
But she never mentioned the detail. No stories indeed. She even refused to mention her real name, neither Bert’s name. She said they were long gone as their youth disappear.
“One day, sweet pie. One day I would tell you everything…” she said.
“When would that happen? I wanted to hear it from you…”
“One day, when I was only a crippled lady with nothing I could do except retelling stories… I would surely tell you everything. Now, since I have the power to walk, let’s have some walk in the park…”
And one day, as she had promised me, she called me from her bedroom to tell me stories I’ve never heard before. Her stories.

***
CHAPTER ONE

It was a very beautiful summer. May and her college friends were having holiday in the Southern Lake of St. Therese when some guys came and crush their party. They weren’t just guys, but they’re friends of Camille’s boyfriend, Frank.
With a very displeasing sound of roaring car machine and a loud music from their radio, they came and rushed in. May stood up from where she was sitting and went away; wandered into the wood to find a place she could find quietness.
Finally, she found a huge oak tree, with a big stone under it. After swept the damp dust from it, she sat on the stone and continued her book.
She was a book worm, and until many decades later, she’d always known as the girl with a book in her hand.
“Excuse me…” a sudden voice broke May’s concentration.
“Yes?” in an unexpressed anger she answered.
“I… I didn’t mean to disturb you… I just want to sit down here because it was too noisy out there… May I?” the young man asked politely.
“Sure you do. Just don’t make a sound…” May warned him.
“Of course I won’t. I brought my book too…” he showed her his book.
“Hey, I read that book before…” May amazed by what she saw.
“You kidding me. No one in century –besides me- would read that book…” he alarmed an enthusiasm.
“What chapter you are reading now?” she asked.
“I almost finished it…”
“Finished it quickly, I can’t wait to discuss it with someone who really read it…”
Their eyes were met, and suddenly they remembered something. They never mentioned their name.
“I am sorry, I was so rude… My name is May,” the girl said.
“That’s okay. My friends were no more than a group of jerks, no wonder you thought me the same. My name is Bert…”
And that’s how they met each other.

School days, the day that most of the student hates were the most beautiful days after the summer holidays that year. Especially for May and Bert, who previously didn’t notice that they were in the same school for years.
They took the same classes, and took the same project in the same group. They went out together and started to date. And when they kissed under the moonlight, nobody would be amazed; everybody knew that they were in love from the day they met.
Since then, the two love summer more than ever. They had fun together, read books together and had never-ended discussion about many things.
“You were just like one person in two bodies…” said Camille to May.
“What do you mean?” May chuckled.
“Didn’t you see? You two are so alike. I mean, you are two bookworms who like to go to theatres and discuss it all night long. And we are, just ordinary high school students who like to watch movie or hang out in some cool places… No offense,” Camille explained.
No one feel offended. Otherwise, May feel happy with that. What Camille had said was a silent assurance that Bert was really the guy exactly made for her. A bookworm guy, for a bookworm lady.
When Camille and the other girls got married after their high school graduation –some of them were pregnant before the wedding bell rang- May and Bert went to Harvard to enter law school. Both accepted. Both went there with full of happiness.

The other summer, they decided not to go home and let May’s family took a visit trip there. She would never forget that day they made a quick renovation and cleaned up everything to made a good impression for the family. She would never forget how Bert tried to remove the stain on the wall just to make her mother feel good about him.
But their parents, who came with pride, only saw mistakes everywhere they stepped in. Cheap table cloth, tasteless wallpaper, dirty window. Everything. And where in the end they blame Bert that could give their daughter best services.
“Oh don’t cry…” said Bert when the parents went home that day.
“I didn’t cry for them…” answered May angrily.
“I knew… But let’s see from the bright side. If we were parents, we would do the same thing… wouldn’t we?” he hugged her beloved girl and drew her to his lap.
“You don’t have to defend them…” said the girl.
“I didn’t… I said that all because I love you…”
“I love you too…” her happy face bloomed.
“That’s my girl… give me a kiss…” and they drowned in laughter like there were nothing happened that day.
But May never forgot that fateful summer. Summer after that, and the summer after, and after, she had never went back home again.

***

I’ve never seen my great grandmother. Neither has my mother who lived with my grand mother for her early ages. She said that my grand mother never allowed her grand mother to see her even for once. But lately I know it was wrong, because I saw a picture of mother and her grandmother.
May is just a lady with harsh words and warm heart inside. If you know her better, you’d know why everybody loved her.
Surprisingly, after my uncle was born, my great grandmother started a peace with her. She started to let down the pride and came to May’s house and apologized for what she and her husband have done.
If it’s not because of Bert who let them in, they would probably have never seen my uncle and my mother until their death.
“She always disliked him…” May hummed in very soft voices.
“But, why?” I asked.
May smiled a little. And just in time, a nurse rushed in and told us that it was the medicine time. May pat my hand and let me went home with a huge curiosity.

CHAPTER 2
CHRISTMAS

It wasn’t an accident I could be here in my hometown for Christmas. I had a plan with my boyfriend, Luc, to spend Christmas in Europe; we even have booked two tickets to Switzerland.
But, last week fight was the worst we’ve ever had for years. He hit the table, I threw the dishes, he shouted, I slammed the door. I canceled the trip, he refunded the tickets, I cried, He kept silent. In my desperation, I remembered my mother invitation to have a holiday in my hometown.
So in last minute decision, I drove along my way back to St. Therese. My mother said, May went to a retirement house not so far from my house, and I can reach there ten minutes with car. So the first thing I did when I reached St. Therese was seeing my favorite grandmother.
“Hello? Who are you?” she asked me when I greeted her.
It’s like a jolt of electric shock when she asked me that. She’s getting older, but I didn’t know that it was that bad.
“I…” I stopped when I saw smile on her face. A naughty smile like what she used to do when she mad fun of me.
“Just kidding, sweet pie. Oh, Madeline, what took you so long to see your old woman?” she asked me gratefully. It made me felt a little bit guilty for not coming home almost a year.
I chose not answer her question.
“You look okay, May…” I said.
“You’re too kind! Can’t you see I rot in boredom here? But at least, you can accompany me until New Year,” she grinned.
“Sure I’ll do…” I made my promise to her.
“So, what brought you here?” she knew I wouldn’t be there if nothing has happened.
“I screwed…”
“Sure you do…”
Silence replaced the excitement.
“Everybody does,” she continued.

***

Everybody screwed at least one in their lifetime.
For May, it was when she knew that Bert did a crime, and did nothing to stop him. As two Harvard graduated lawyer, they both know that it would put Bert in jail for what he did, but she didn’t say anything.
“He wasn’t a con man…” she defended.
It was a very hard year, when even every university graduate could even get a job. The only job offered was a cleaner in the university with underpaid salary.
Inflation rate was very high, life become so hard, and their savings in the bank is almost nothing. After marriage, both never received any money from their parents, it means they have to do real work.
May was pregnant of my uncle, and Bert was jobless, they really life in a hard way.
Until one day, Bert came home with a thousand bucks and told May to buy everything she wanted. She was surprised at first, and curios. But Bert told her not to worry about money anymore, because he had found a proper job to earn money for their little family.
Bert started to go out at night, to somewhere May never knew. Sometimes he went when everybody sleeping and came home before any creatures woke up. He woke up at ten and have a nice day walking around with his pregnant wife, brought her to the doctor and all.
It was seem to be perfect, but not for May. She thought her husband was a burglar, so she sought in every newspaper the news about burgle or robbery. She found nothing.
She suspected her husband as a drug dealer, so that she sought in the newspaper everything about it, and found nothing. Even she sought in entire house to found out something that might would gave her any clue about what he did.
Weeks later, she was still as clueless as she had been, she asked her man about what he did.
“It was nothing… I worked…” Bert refused to tell.
“I know it. But what kind of job you are in to?”
“It’s nothing to tell… I don’t want you to feel displeased…”
May silenced. The blue eyes sought the truth from the eyes that met hers summertime five years ago. It begged for the truth and hope that it would be true.
“It was for us, Honey…” he opened his mouth.
“Tell me…” her tone lowered, she sat down and listen.
He told her all she wanted to know.

It was first, an expedition company who needed a lawyer to help them out from a trouble. They took black market goods from the ship to fulfill the needs of market that started to be scarce in the city. But then the needs of the city had become the need of the company.
Bert was there to take the responsibility of the black market stocks. He went there at night when the harbor was unguarded, and the black market ship arrived.
He and his friends were controlling some slaves to pick the goods, and in hours, the goods have removed from the ship into the secret warehouse, and the ship went away without any trace. They saved for awhile.

“Have you ever thought about me? Have you ever thought about your child in my womb?” asked the lady to him that night she knew the truth.
“I did, but that made me want to do this even more then ever…”
“What was in your mind…” sighed May.
“Please… I just want to see you, my family, live in prosperity. I don’t want to see you suffer from financial trouble…”
“There must be any other way…”
“Mention it!” Bert gasped.
“You are a Harvard graduated lawyer…” May insisted.
“I haven’t even offered to be an associate, May!” Bert shouted in despair.
May nodded, tried to understand even all the reasons seemed to be unacceptable for morality. But the man in front of him, Bert, is a husband and a father going to be that just wants to give the best for his family. It’s just an effort to bring this family into a better shape.
“I just don’t want my children raised by a criminal…” she finally shouted her mind out.
“I know…”
“You can build your own office…” continued May.
“I will… with this money…”
May said no more. Bert came towards and hugged her wife with love.
“I love you… that’s why I want to protect you…”
“I love you too… that’s why I don’t want you put yourself in trouble,” said her, cried in his chest.
The office was built in less than a month. Bert rented an office in the main street and found a partner to start the new business. And by the time their first son born, Alexander, Bert has become popular as a good lawyer in town.

***

“He never get caught?” I asked May when she finished her story.
“No… Never. But still, he had to have some ‘business travel’ to hide from the investigator…” sighed May.
“I wanted to hear more,” I said to her.
“Sure you do, but you have to head back before your mom calls and tell you that the dinner is ready…” she laughed.
“No, that’s not all…”
“So, what else?”
“I haven’t seen them… The first place I headed when I arrived to St. Therese is here, to see you,” I said to her truthfully.
“What an honor… Please go home, your mom will be very delighted to see you,” she patted my shoulder.
“Undoubtedly…” I smiled.
“Great! Will I see you tomorrow?” I could hear a sound of hope in her voice.
“Why not? I have nothing to do,” I waved my hand and said goodbye.
I missed May so much. It was never across my mind until I saw her in her bedroom. And I would never forget her face when she saw me coming in.
I drove my car to my childhood home. I know I missed my family too, and I am so glad I still have my time to see them.

CHAPTER 3
FULL MOON

The most beautiful view you can see in my hometown is at the South Lake of St. Therese, especially when there is full moon in summer time.
You can see the perfect blending line of the water and the sky far away there. You can witness the precise reflection of the moon in the lake water that sometimes moved because of the fishes swimming beneath them.
The sweet smell of dandelions would remind you of you childhood, when everything was less complicated.
I went there after the dinner. The lake is no more than a mile from my home, and I decided to take a walk to reach the place. The sound of my footsteps made consistent rhythm echoes, accompany me to my way there.
Nothing has changed from this place. But unfortunately, I couldn’t see the lake perfectly because it was freezing of the winter wind. I chose take a seat nearby the lake to think about many thing.
My life, my career, my relationship with Luc. Everything seemed to be perfect while I was in New York. But why did none of them bring me peace like what I got when I arrived here in St. Therese?
I should find out why, or I would always be haunted with curiosity.
“I’ve never seen you before…” a voice jumped me out from where I seated.
“W-who are you?” I tried not to trembled but I couldn’t make it well.
“Don’t worry, I am no ghost…”
Slowly, someone woke up from the bushes and rose to show himself. He grinned and greeted me politely, and he mentioned his name.
“Jack…” said him to me.
“Madeline…”
“I’ve heard many things about you…” his eyebrow connected while he was thinking.
“No you wouldn’t. That’s an old trick…” I laughed.
“I did… You are the girl with red hat in the first elementary year…”
I looked at him carefully. Was he someone that I knew?

***

May made me the hat.
She knew that I love the ‘Red Riding Hood’ story and a little bit obsessed to be like her. I used to wear a red bulky blanket as a hood to show her that I was the red riding hood.
“Do you really want to get caught by a wolf?” May taunted me.
“No, I don’t. But I am not afraid of wolf… I will fight to save you, Granny!” I said to her.
She laughed loud and happy.
“You are my red riding hood. I will make you a red hat, so you can use it to go to school…” she said.
“But the red riding hood didn’t wear a hat…”
“Yes, I know… because she didn’t have one. The modern version of ‘The Red Riding Hood’ is now ‘The Red Riding Hat’,” She assured me.
So, there I was, with childish enthusiasm wearing a red head to school where hat was forbidden to be worn at the class.
The matter was I refused to take it off. The teacher ran around the class to chase me and made me let go my hat. I was a red riding hood and all of the teachers were the wolves, so I ran.
Mother was called to the school to see the headmistress, Miss Cromwell. She explained, again, all the school rules, and none of them are important. I said to her that I was the red riding hood, but she didn’t care. Since then, I was no longer believed in formal education.

But who is this guy, came out of nowhere and brought back my childhood story to me. I completely forgot about those things but he remembered.
“I am Jack,” he re-introduced his name.
“Yes, as I noticed…” I said to him.
“I was the headmistress’ nephew, and I was in the school when you were running around with your hat…” he laughed.
I too, laughed with no intention of happiness.
“And I was your mentor once in science club in your junior high school…”
I snapped back, and quiet. Is he?
He smiled.
“Welcome back to St. Therese. It’s been a long time,” he re-greeted me.
“Thank you…” I said.
“Want to have a walk?” he offered.
“No, thank you. I would like to have a seat, but if you want to, please…” I smiled to him.
“No. It’s nothing… I was stargazing when you came…”
“Did I interrupt you?”
“No, it’s okay. I’d like a companion, if you don’t mind…” his laughter broke the ice. I smiled and sat near him.
It’s been a long time, and I barely remember him. But somehow, I know he wasn’t lying to me. He knew me, and he remembered me. Sometimes it’s nice to have someone that would remember you even you’re gone. At least, I’ve got one.
Jack went to Oxford while I went to Harvard like May. He was a brilliant student and he said that he received scholarship for his Master Degree.
Every holiday, he flies from L.A., the place he worked at, back to St. Therese. That made me ashamed for my self a little because I had been gone for almost a year even New York is not too fat from St. Therese.
Two years before, Jack managed a new business in L.A., and it was a big deal for him. He built a restaurant with a partner, and in months, he could get the turnover.
“Money is not the problem, May…” he continued his story.
I didn’t reply.
“It’s live that you search. It’s passion. It’s something like what your granny did…”
“You know my granny?”
“She’s popular,” Jack giggled.
“Yeah, sure,” I laughed as well.
We talked until the sun rose. Jack stood up. I thought the conversation was over, but no, he tapped his belly and said,
“I am hungry. Let’s find something to eat. The bakery is not too far away, and the first bread made early… Maybe if we are lucky enough we could make Mr. Stanley give us for free…”
And like a flashback, Jack and I walked like two children beneath the morning sun.

***

“You woke up early, Sweet pie?” May greeted me as I walked in.
“Hey! I brought you new guy…” I said to her.
“Ah, that’s what an old lady like me need the most…” She laughed.
Jack entered the room and greeted May like an old friends.
“He’s not a new guy! You little prick! Where have you been, handsome boy?” May became more enthusiastic seeing that he came with me.
“We have just taken a walk…” I said.
“You both? Ah! Youngsters are really lucky…” May chuckled.
“I was stargazing when your little granddaughter came and interrupted my contemplation…”
“But it seems you didn’t mind any interruption from a pretty girl like her, did you?” May teased him and me.
My cheek blushed in red. How could May said like that to me and him, as we’re not that close. Or, are we really have been that close?
Or it’s just the moonlight and lunar effect?

CHAPTER 4
CARNIVAL

Once in a year, a group of gypsies come to town and make a carnival. Town people were always happy with their coming there. It comes with circus, freak shows, and a night bazaar.
I always remembered the cotton candies, and the cotton candy seller who made a huge pink cotton candy for us. It was huge sweet cotton, melted in your mouth. I was crazy about it, even until I’ve grown up.
May and Bert always spoiled me, bought me everything I wanted. That would be a fight starter between them and my mother. She wanted to raise her children like what she desired. Two month after the carnival over, my mother told me that we moved to another house. The house my mother and father live until now.
But it means almost nothing to me. I used to ran down the hill and met my grand parents just to get some sweets, and some allowance. I was their favorite girl, have I told you that?
May said to us, me and Jack, that carnival was somewhat different when she was younger.

***

The caravan came that day. The younger kids ran home to tell their parents that it would be soon a carnival in town. With the same enthusiasm, they started to discuss whether they would come or not. When it would be and how they would get there.
The teenagers rushed into their closet to find the best dress to wear when the carnival begun. The guys started to pick a date, and the girl tried as hard as they could to be picked.
It’s more than a prom.
The gypsies’ decades ago were so much more original. They established tents, and stall, and trade traditional goods. One of them lived in a small gloomy caravan, where everyone could enter to see a fortune teller.
May went there once.
The fortune teller was an old lady with colorful dress. She sat down behind her table, and she held a deck of tarot cards.
First, she asked May about what she wanted to know in her future. And then she asked her to scramble the cards before she dealt it in the table. One by one the cards opened.
“You are okay,” said the fortune teller.
Am I? How could it be?” May staring at the opened cards, haven’t got any clue about what’ve been being revealed.
“Good commitment, good future…”
May sighed. She didn’t want to know such information, she wanted the detail, but it seemed that the old lady could not answer her.
“One I could tell you…”
“Good or bad?”
“Depends…”
“Depends on what?”
“Depends on what you think about death…”
“I think it’s an over…”
“So, it would be a good thing, because you will die in old age…”
“Thank you…” May started to get confused.
“And you’ll be loved forever…” said the fortune teller so sure with the answer.
“Well… thank you very much…”
“But disease…”
“Disease?”
“Family rage…”
May shut her mouth up, the only thing she could remembered was her mother.
“Good luck…” said the fortune teller as she walked May out of her caravan.

***

St. Therese was never more extravagant than times when the carnival came. It was the only fun they had, except the television. There was May and Bert years after her conversation with the fortune teller.
“So here you are…” said the fortune teller while drinking her hot ginger tea, when May and Bert accidentally passed across the caravan.
“Hi you…” May greeted the old woman.
She looked older than what she was remembered. May thought fearfully, that one day she would get older and looked like that gypsy.
“Oh, dear… I saw you with this handsome lad long before you met him. But I guessed none yet happened, has it?” she grinned to the young lady.
“What did she say?” Bert asked.
“Bullshits…” May smiled and grabbed his hand, took him away before those old lips said another words.
“You went to the fortune teller,” Bert giggled.
“It was long time ago,” May shouted. She felt warm brushes her cheeks as she said her nonsense arguments.
“But you did go there…”
“Yes, I did. Before I met you…”
“I know… Because now you don’t have to worry about your future anymore, do you?” he grinned meaningfully.
“Say no more! No one sees the future…”
“I see it now,” Bert said slowly, looked through her eyes, and suddenly draw her closer.
May shouted a little.
“You are my future that I see. I don’t need any fortune teller to tell me so…” Bert smiled to her.
“You made me shy! Stop it!” May pushed him away.
“Would you marry me?”
There are many good stories about carnival in St. Therese. But one thing she know, that her story is the most beautiful to tell to generations after her. She’s engaged in the middle of the crowd of happiness, under the Ferris wheel and the stars.

***

Jack and I were amazed and silent still.
May smiled at us and patted my hand softly. She pointed at a male nurse over the door. I thought she would continue her story to us.
Instead she opened her mouth and asked to me.
“Do you know what, Sweet pie? The young handsome nurse over there said to me that yesterday he saw ten caravans came to the field near the North East River. Why don’t you take this new guy here take a look at this year’s carnival?”

***

CHAPTER 5
DAYS

Since Luc never called me, I decided not to call him either. Instead, I chose to live my life out here with everything I left here; old friend and my favorite old lady.
Jack came to pick me up at six. He said he wanted to come early to the carnival to see how it starts. I agreed, I said to him, I wanted the biggest first cotton candy made by the cotton candy maker.
He looked casually good. He looked different from what I saw the other day. Today, well, to be honest, he looked handsome. I, in the other side, only brought simple outfits, since I didn’t think that I would go out somewhere in St. Therese.
“You look nice,” I said.
“You look better…” he complied.
“That’s too much, Player…” I laughed. I didn’t remember the last time I laughed with Luc, but it was never better.
The carnival hasn’t been started when we arrived there. Some gypsies prepared the lamps for the stalls and the entertainments. The music hasn’t been played and the merry go round hasn’t been operated.
“Now… what?” asked the young guy beside me.
“We’ll wait…”
“Sure… want to eat something?” he offered.
“There’s no food to sell yet…” I pointed at the gypsies.
“No pointing! That’s rude!”
“They haven’t sold anything yet,” I told him.
“I didn’t say I would buy you something…”
My eyes widened. I couldn’t guess what was in his naughty mind when he left me. I saw him walked through the grasses of the field and found one of the gypsies. I guessed he must asked him way, because the man pointed somewhere and he lead Jack the way.
Not so long after that, I found the answer.
Jack came with one huge cotton candy on his hand. It was the biggest cotton candy I have ever seen and that’s the first cotton candy made in this day’s carnival.
“And this is for you…” he grinned.
“Thank you…” I was so happy so that for that second, I forgot about Luc, and forgot that Luc was never this care to me.

***

“It was nothing!” said Luc to me.
“What was nothing? The kissing? Or the girl? Or it was me who was nothing to you?” I yelled at him.
“I didn’t kiss her…”
“You would if I didn’t come on time…”
“I didn’t mean to…” he defended, weak one.
Not so hard to see what was happened there. I heard from one of my friend that Luc was going to his friend’s bachelor party without telling me where he was going to go.
And I wasn’t so shocked when I saw my boyfriend with a girl on his lap, and they are seemed to be kissing. Or they have, but they didn’t admit it.
“It was nothing…” he said once more, softer.
But I didn’t believe him anymore.

***
“Everybody made a mistake in his life, Maddie,” Jack replied my story without judging.
“I know,” I nodded. But still my heart could not accept that kind of betrayal.
“You would never forgive him, would you?” he asked me back.
“I don’t know…”
“If you couldn’t, don’t force it. It will eat you inside.”
“So… what mistake you’ve been done?” I asked him, refuse to talk about Luc anymore. It was all fun without Luc here.
“I was a Luc…”
“What?”
“Yes I did it… Unfortunately, my ex girlfriend could never forgive me, so that I went away from her. It was really painful to see her hurt like that…”
“Really?” I wondered if what he said to me was all truth.
“Yeah, I didn’t kiss another girl…”
“So…?”
“I kissed another man…”
“What?!” I shouted of my shock.
“I am joking, Maddie. No, I slept with that girl… once. My junior in college…”
“Damn you…” I whispered.
“Yeah, damned me…”
It was all silence, so that I can hear sound of the crowd at the carnival that has begun.
“Merry go round?” he stood and offer his hand to me.
I saw his face before I nodded and smiled. I took his hand and stood beside him.
“I had a crush on you… long before you know my name,” he said. And that night was all different.

***

Fortune teller.
It reminds me to the story told by May the other day. The caravan wasn’t the same as she described, and May never mentioned the name carved on the caravan. But I had the feeling that I had to go inside.
A very old lady sat there behind her crystal ball. She didn’t look at me, as her eyes was really closed and almost blind, but I sensed she knew that I was coming.
“Sit here, young lady…”
“Thank you, Madam,” I sat.
“What’s your name?”
“Madeline…” I said.
“I saw you before…” the old lady talked to herself for awhile and mumbled some words before she talked to me again.
I wondered what she said before.
“Yes, yes… I remembered I saw you years ago, even before you were born,” she giggled, and her eyes was still close.
“So you saw my mom’s USG test?” I giggled with her.
“Young girls were never trust me, but when they’re older, they knew I didn’t talk rubbish. I wondered what brought them there if it wasn’t trust…” She smiled mysteriously.
I didn’t answer as she seemed to talk to herself.
“Yes, yes… so what do you want to know, my dear?”
“I don’t want to know about future, I want to know about today,” I said straightly to the point.
“What do you want to know about today, as to day soon be over here. Oh, dear my sweet child, you are wasting your time talking to me as your future is waiting outside my caravan…”
Jack? She must be kidding me.
“Listen… listen carefully my dear! You have to let go a bird to catch a fish. And your old lady… oh dear… oh dear… I missed her, could you tell your old lady that I am going to miss her?”
May?
“Thank you… this is yours,” I put two dollars on the table and rushed out.
“Maddie? What’s going on?” Jack asked me as I walked out the caravan.
“May… there’s something about my grand mother…” I ran into the retirement house.
May was there, sleeping soundly. And she was okay.
“Do you really believe in fortune teller?” Jack asked me.
I saw him quietly.
“I just don’t want to feel sorry if I didn’t…”