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beauonther — Notredame de Paris Chapter1p7

Published: 2011-11-19 17:59:57 +0000 UTC; Views: 913; Favourites: 5; Downloads: 0
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Description So...I made the page.7. >ㅅ<

Poor Esme! Clopin owes so much this time!

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Comments: 8

owleyes1213 [2012-07-08 04:57:38 +0000 UTC]

can't wait for more these are really good

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fanfictener [2012-05-11 04:18:19 +0000 UTC]

nice cant wait to see more

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beauonther In reply to fanfictener [2012-05-16 04:53:43 +0000 UTC]

<333 Thanks a lot but i still have to improve my English kk

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fanfictener In reply to beauonther [2012-05-17 02:53:18 +0000 UTC]

its not bad in my opinion

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PuddingValkyrie [2011-11-25 20:18:25 +0000 UTC]

Sorry it took me so long for corrections. It's so long and I've been checking my DA real quick lately >.<

'Rats!' You are dead to me' - Do you mean 'You rat! You're dead!' or 'I'll kill you, you rat!' 'Rats!' is something like a swear words, but it isn't. It's like 'darn!' You would use it for something mild, like 'Rats, I spilled my coffee!'
'You are dead to me' means that you do not want to know someone any more, like they do not exist as far as you are concerned. It's something that might be said if a friend betrayed you.

'Yon know' = 'You know'
~~wearing a clinking~~ - I presume these are just typos.

'Do not beg' I think you want something like 'Don't argue' or 'no arguments'. 'Give me seven and it's a deal, okay? Okay!'

'They were intruiging in the past, now they are scary as pests' I understand what you mean here, but your way of putting it is odd. 'They were intruiging in the past' sounds rather posh and old fashioned for townsfolk - 'At first, they were intruiging/interesting, but now they're just pests!' is better. I can't decide between intruiging and interesting... intruiging is a better word but perhaps too posh for townsfolk, but interesting sounds too bland. So I guess I'd stick with intruiging or maybe fascinating. Or exotic?

'He is not a great helper for the sales' - 'He's bad at selling stuff' or 'He doesn't help us earn money' (I'm not sure how these guys make a living, if they have a shop or they sell stuff going person to person or if they dance like in the film, so this is hard to correct accurately)
'he mostly teases me' - 'he teases me all the time!' If you were to say 'He mostly just begs, steals and teases me!' then you can use mostly. It sounds odd in the middle of the sentence.

'And I thought you ruled that debate!' actually sounds really good to me, but in this context I think you mean him to say something like 'and you won that argument!'

'he manuscripted sincerely' I think you mean 'critiqued'? a manuscript is a document, like the manuscript of a book, or it can be a roll of parchment or something like that. You usually hear it to describe old documents, such as 'an ancient Egyptian manuscript'.

rabellious - rebellious
favorate - favourite (favorite - American spelling)

Ou - ouch or ow.

Sorry I took so long >.< I read it right away, but I didn't want to rush through corrections.

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beauonther In reply to PuddingValkyrie [2011-11-26 04:34:47 +0000 UTC]

Thank you for the correction I really appreciate it! A lot of misspelling this time cause I didn't use the MS word. I noticed I should've after the upload. T.T God..
I meant to write 'made manuscripts' there haha

XP

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PuddingValkyrie In reply to beauonther [2011-11-26 12:14:08 +0000 UTC]

Ah... in that case there is a still a mistake but I'm not sure how to correct it. You can't make unemotional things sincerely - for example you can make a sincere apology/apologise sincerely.

But I'm not sure if you mean he makes good manuscripts or if he made them diligently or something like that. Ah, wait he's a monk... so maybe he copies manuscripts diligently, even if he doesn't like the author? Monks used to copy manuscripts painstakingly by hand, but I assume that's what you mean?

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beauonther In reply to PuddingValkyrie [2011-11-26 18:03:48 +0000 UTC]

Yes that is exactly I meant
Thank u for clarifying that. XD

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