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Puddled Gasoline
Published: 2012-04-16 03:01:24 +0000 UTC; Views: 4352; Favourites: 173; Downloads: 568
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Description
Hear me read it! Puddled GasolineSomeone left the car on
with the garage door closed again;
mother-of-pearl rainbows
streak the harsh winter concrete
as I breathe past the fumes.
Your son,
forgetful seventeen
at its finest,
blares Grunge
or Punk
or some other form of noise
I'm not familiar with.
He will not hear me screaming
when I tug open the door
and you spill out like a puddle
onto my freshly-buffed shoes,
because I will not be screaming
at all.
For the first time
in almost twenty years of marriage,
you've silenced me.
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Comments: 92
:icongwarkplz: You're welcome!
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No problem! Thank you for writing such a marvelous piece!
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So tragic... but a good representation of suicide. Took me a minute to get it. The "again" is the worst part.
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Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed the read.
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Thank you, hon. I really appreciate the feedback.
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This is haunting and beautiful at the same time. Amazing job.
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Wow, I finished reading this and felt that sort of full body shiver go down my back. Wow, I, just wow. Very well done.
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Thank you. That full body shiver was what I was aiming for.
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Congratulations!
I am very happy for you.
This piece is powerful and sad, the contrast between the subject and your wonderful writing is darkly beautiful.
I like your turn to tragedy.
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Thank you, hon!
This piece was a bit of an experiment, actually. My writing lately has been edging farther down the alleyway of tragedy than it did before, and I'm trying to run with it.
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Well, run away. Writing like this should be pursued.
And you are welcome!
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...This is horrifying!
But well done. Good job!
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It is a bit horrifying, I agree--I'm sorry if it scarred you.
Thank you!
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No, it didn't scar me. But thanks
And you're quite welcome
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You're very welcome!
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Chirp, congrats on the DD, it's been twittered. [link]
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This is beautiful! I really like the third stanza;
He will not hear me screaming
when I tug open the door
and you spill out like a puddle
onto my freshly-buffed shoes,
because I will not be screaming
at all.
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Thank you!
I think that's my favorite stanza, too.
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extremely well done!! i think this is a wonderful mix of the two prompts!!
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Thank you! I've been writing a lot of tragic pieces lately; I'm glad they're being well-received in general.
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i've been enjoying them very much, indeed!!
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well crafted poem, as well as a wonderful blending of two prompts.
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Thank you. I was unsure of this piece after I'd posted it, so I'm glad that you like it so much.
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