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BlackMage145 β€” Why Americans carry guns [NSFW]
Published: 2008-11-07 11:26:19 +0000 UTC; Views: 141; Favourites: 2; Downloads: 1
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Description You can say a lot about Americans. Call them the unwashed, ignorant masses, uneducated, lazy or plain stupid.

When the first zombie came to a small city, it went after a small child. The predator brain inside the living dead figured that such a small thing would be defenseless against it. It was right; the girl screamed and cried yelling for someone. The zombie did not realize that there was a more dangerous predator in the house than itself. A housewife armed with Dirty Harry’s weapon, the Smith & Wesson Model 29. She emptied all six rounds into the creature, literally blowing the beast apart.

When the second zombie came to the small city, it when for the slums, smelling the rot and decay there. It hid in junk and other waste of man, waiting for its prey to show up. It wasn't long till a group of young men showed up. They were wearing loose clothes, easy to bite. So the zombie launched itself at them, it figured that it could be quick and infected the young man it had picked. The beast did not realize that one of the men carried a Glock 17C, and it had a cartridge full of bullets, and it was emptied into its forehead and torso.

The third zombie came to the old-folks retirement home. Surely the old people there would not put up much of a fight, being weak, frail and old. It went after an old man who sat alone in his room, looking at the pictures of his friends when they were in France working for the US army. The old man always knew it was good to have a weapon at hand. He had selected the Winchester Model 1887, rebuilt to take the modern shotgun rounds. It only took him a single shot to turn the head of the zombie into splatter.

Now the fourth zombie had seen all this and saw the black staffs of the humans hurt a lot, and realized that it would need a lot of buddies to take on the humans. So he went up to the mountain and yelled as loud as he could for his friend who was in the valley not far from here. A hunter and his son were out in the woods, hunting for deer. When the hunter and his son saw the yelling zombie, they decided that it would be better to shoot it in the head. Just to make sure.


All the zombies now came upon the small city, before after the rest of the zombies had attacked the rest of the world. When they came for the mayor, an old lieutenant who had fought in the Vietnam War, gathered all the people in the town and organized them into fire teams just like he did with his men during the war. The World War II veterans, the housewives and the gangs did not want to give up their city. Along with them came the police, the National Guard reserves and everyone else who knew how to carry a weapon. The Zombies never came to the small city again.

before or after?

And what is the morale of the story kids? Sometimes carrying a gun can be a good thing. Especially if there are zombies about.
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Comments: 10

GuardsmanKoto [2009-06-17 21:20:47 +0000 UTC]

interestingly true eh?

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

BlackMage145 In reply to GuardsmanKoto [2009-06-19 08:16:12 +0000 UTC]

If zombies invade, hells yes

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Valthek666 [2008-11-07 21:02:39 +0000 UTC]

no, he obviously isn't...
otherwise the rombie would've apologised

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Vampir5 [2008-11-07 20:15:37 +0000 UTC]

That hunter must be Chaney...

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Valthek666 [2008-11-07 20:10:09 +0000 UTC]

i LOL-ed
it's true in a sense... still:
Gunz are bad, mkay?

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Vampir5 In reply to Valthek666 [2008-11-07 20:16:27 +0000 UTC]

so is chocolate

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Valthek666 In reply to Vampir5 [2008-11-07 21:03:54 +0000 UTC]

but chocolate is YUMMYY when placed in your mouth...

Guns are just a BAD idea to put in mouths

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Vampir5 In reply to Valthek666 [2008-11-07 23:46:32 +0000 UTC]

Only if it's one's own mouth ]

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Valthek666 In reply to Vampir5 [2008-11-08 19:38:54 +0000 UTC]

Still a bad idea...
because THAT is called murder, and is illegal in most nations

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Vampir5 In reply to Valthek666 [2008-11-09 09:28:23 +0000 UTC]

A strange world we live in...

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