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Description
On the island of Berk , parents would usually wed their kids at a very young age.(Cause let's face it , if your whole village fights dragon every single night, chances are that you may not live to see your thirties.) The main reason was so they could produce offspring; usually they would wed by the age of 15-18. Usually wedding weddings would be a happy thing, all the food and mead you can eat or drink, but not for the kids. They had to spend to the wedding being shown around to possible future husband and wives. So for kids, weddings SUCK.
The whole village was gathered for a wedding reception; some were congratulating the newly wed couple when others were getting drunk on ale; yup, a Viking wedding was a best kind of wedding.
In the far corner of the room sat Tuffnut and Snotlout, leaning against a wall talking, each with a mug of mead in there hand.
" Grossbug, really got lucky, look at her." Snotlout pointed to the newly wed 16 year olds.
"Ahhh. …yeah, sure he certainly caught himself a good one. I mean look at the long red flowing hair—"
"That's Grossbug. The bride is the blond."
"…..oh….. Hairy for girl." Tuffnut brought the mug to his lips and took a big gulp. "The mead must be getting to me."
"You know, we're almost 16 ourselves it's time we find ourselves some brides." Snotlout also took a swing of his drink, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. Tuffnut just rolled his eyes and snorted.
" Easier said then done. Anyway, our parents decide that shit, we just have to go along with it." Tuff swallowed the last bit of mead in his mug. " Ok, I'm ready for another one."
Both teens pushed themselves off the wall and walked over to the mead barrels. Snotlout took the cork out of the barrel and poured the strong wine into their mugs. "Dude, I mean it, seriously we gotta start think about our future and stuff. Of course I don't got a problem, not with this gorgeous face." As Snotlout flexed him muscles the male twin just rolled his eyes and made his way to the nearest empty table and sat down.
"Of course you don't have a problem and it's not because of your "gorgeous" face."
"So what's the problem?"
"The problem is that there are only two girls on this island my age, one is my own twin sister and the other one is a bitch witch with a sword up her ass!" Tuffnut drank half of his mead in one single gulp and smacked the mug down on the wooden table. "My parents keep bitching about it!! I'm boned!!"
" Stop being such a drama Viking. What about older chicks?"
" Can't!  Hairy pits over there was the last of them."
"Younger?"
"All of them 5 year olds."
"You're too picky."
Tuffnut banged his head on the wooden table over and over again. "Weddings sucks."
"Actually now that I think of it, Astrid is with Hiccup; even if you wanted to, you can't."
Tuffnut stopped banging his hade on the table. When he did, the first thing he saw was Hiccup. The small Viking hero was sitting next to his father, who was giving a speech for the newly weds and Astrid, who seemed to be glued to his arm.
"Hiccup. That's it, Hiccup!"  Snotlout raised an eyebrow to the blond male twin. "Yeah and Astrid. Can you believe it? All he did was defeat the strongest and deadliest dragon ever know to Viking kind and showed us that the dragons we were fighting for all our lives were actually harmless. Is that any reason for him to get the girl in the end?"
Tuffnut had blocked out Snotlout's voice and really just about everything around him. All he was focused on was the other Viking at the other end of the room. Hiccup looked a little bit uncomfortable being in the front table (in front of everyone) and with Astrid wrapped around his arm. Probably because he was used to being left in the back table where nobody could see him.
After the whole " Green Death" thing, Hiccup had been getting very special treatment from every one in the village. And although some people ( Snotlout) would usually let all this fame go to his head, Hiccup was still humbled , shy, and clumsy. Completely unaffected by all the attention.
" And those are the reasons why I should be with Astrid—Tuff, Tuff are you even listening to me? Tuff!!"
"What if I married Hiccup?"
The buff Viking shot all of the mead out of his mouth and started to chough. "What?."
" I said "what if I married Hiccup."?
" Ok, no more mead for you," said Snotlout as he took the mug out of the blonde's hand, still looking at him with wide eyes.
"No man, I'm serious . Look, he's cute, nice , polite and he's not hairy . Put some curves on him and some breasts, he'll make a good wife."
" ……..what?"
"Also he has a really flexible body, one time I saw him doing stretches, you know for his leg. Man, I didn't know that a human could bend like that."
Snotlout coved his eyes and hit his head on the wooden table. "I can't believe that I'm hearing this from you!"
" I also heard that he can cook very well."
"And I can't believe you're continuing!!!"
"What? It's not like it's frowned upon. The elders don't even talk about it."
"….And there is a good reason for that!!!"
" I bet he has a nice firm butt—."
" Uh hello?! That's my cousin you're talking about!!! And stop talking about him."
"Why are you so uptight about this? We've talked about this kind of stuff before."
" Yeah, about girls."
Tuffnut snatched his mug out of Snotlout's hand and brought it to his lips.
"Tuff, even if Hiccup was a girl and by the way I'm still very l very uncomfortable with this conversation, there would still be a dozen more reasons why this can't work out." Tuffnut just snort.
"Like what?"
"Ok, well let's see, first, being the only child of the chief of the village , you've got to be some kind of war hero to get his father's approval; and number two he's with Astrid. I mean, look at them."
The teens gazed fell again on the other couple. Astrid was whining about something on the lines of Hiccup needing to live up and drink a little and although the boy refused , she shoved the cup into his hand, told him to get some balls and left the table. This little scene clearly seemed to go unnoticed by the older Vikings, who were stuffing their faces with meat.
"Besides if someone's going to break them up, it's going to be me. And let's stop talking about this, your sister is coming."
Sure enough the female twin sat down in between the two male Vikings, knocking her brother over the bench in the process.
"What's up?" she asked as she swiped her brother's mug and drank.
" Nothing much, your brother is just drunk as a fuck—"
"I'm not drunk!!"
"What about you?"
Ruffnut sighed as she dropped her head on the table , just like her brother had done previously. "My parents are trying to set me up with Fishlegs."
Tuffnut laughed as he got up from the floor. " Really, Fishlegs?"
"Yup, they're really desperate, since I'm they only hope of having any grand-children."
"Hey! Take that back, garbage breath!"
"Oh yeah? Make me!"
The twin climbed on the table, fist against first and the sound of the helmets crashing together.
"You're lucky I can't make a scene, or mom and dad will find me. But when we get home I'm going to make you bleed."
"Bring it on, little sis."
The twins slowly sat down again, both still shooting deadly looks at each other. Snotlout was used to the twins wanting to kill each other (just like the whole village was used to.)
"So were is Fishlegs?" asked Snotlout.
" Hiding, his parents are looking from him, ours too."
"Where did he hide?"
Ruffnut pointed her finger towards the barrels of mead. "He's hiding in the top barrel. Geeky meathead got the good hiding spot."
" Doesn't want you huh? Who can blame him." Tuffnut again got hit upside his head by his sister, resulting in the male twin falling of the bench, again.
"Don't know, don't care, neither of us want this marriage." Ruff eyes fell on the couple across the room. "Astrid is fucking lucky, she's using Hiccup. She's set for life."
Snotlout raised an eyebrow . "What do you mean by that?"
The male twin astared at his sister, wondering what she meant by "using Hiccup."
The blond female Viking, who was gulping down her drink, smacked her mug down on the table and looked at the two boys with a deadly look.
"Don't tell me you actually believe that they're still together!?"
" WHAT!" Screamed Tuffnut , making almost everyone in the main hall turn their heads."….my bad…" he said in a small voice. Suddenly Ruffnut grabbed his collar and pulled him closer to her.
"Shut up dragon butt, or else our parent will find me." She said as he let go of her brother.
"Yeah, whatever. What did you say before?"
Ruffnut  waved her two fingers , motioning to Tuffnut and Snotlout to move closer , she spoke in a hush tone.
"They broke up like months ago, Astrid said it was because Hiccup wasn't treating her like a " girlfriend", whatever that means. Anyway the whole thing is a show, this way both of their parents are happy. I mean, look at them."
The three young Vikings turned their eyes to Hiccup and Astrid once more. Atsrid was inspecting her nails while Hiccup was just doodling in his sketch book; but whenever someone came near them, they would quickly come closer together and Astrid would wrap her arms around Hiccup and put on a huge fake smile.
"What about when the get older? They have to get married."
" And they're going to, then they will make little Viking babies and probably get killed in an attack by another village or a monster of some sort, circle of a Viking's life; it's a beautiful thing," said the blond twin as she made a circle in the air using her index finger.
" So, you're saying that Hiccup is available," said Tuffnut.
"Unn…Yeah, miss " Berk's best" won't let me have him , so I got stuck with Fishlegs."
So the female Viking continued to rant on about how stupid it was to get married, to Snoutlout ( who seemed to be falling asleep .)
She stopped when se saw the look on her twin's face and raised an eyebrow. "Tuff, what's with look?"
Tuffnut talked in smooth sickly sweet voice to his sister. "What ever do you mean, dear sister of mine?" Ruffnut gave her bother a cold look as he got up from his seat and  started to walk across the room towards the young fake couple. When he reached their table he leaned down and whispered something in the petite male Viking's ear. Hiccup nodded and got up, slightly limping as he did, clearly not used to his new leg yet; he followed the blond Viking into a dark quiet corner of the main hall.
" What in Thor's hammer just happened?" Snotlout raised his mug and shot Ruffnut a pity look.
"Let's just say, Tuff's going to know how a metal kick in crotch is going to feel, and you're going to lose a brother and gain sister." And with that she gulped down her last bit of mead.

~0~0~0~0~0

"Oh, oh Ouch!!! Be careful! Women are supposed to be good at this stuff!"
"If you don't like it then do it yourself, I'm going home!"
Ruffnut  threw the cold raw stake at her brother and left the hall. Tuffnut picked up the stake and put it gently over his black eye.  He turned over to Snotlout who was smiling smugly.
"Don't . Say. A . Word!"
"I thought he was going to kick you in the crotch. But Odin's bread I had know idea Hiccup could even make a fist, let alone punch!"
"Oh, I feel so honored," Tuffnut said sarcastically as he lied flat down on the table, still holding the stake on his eye firmly.
"  Well I'm leaving, seeing you in pain is only funny for a short while. "
The injured Viking was left alone in the empty hall, the weeding celebration long finished.
As Tuffnut lied there, on the table hold his aching head and trying to stop the swelling form his black eye , he heard the sound of metal clacking on stone; he quickly got up, his head throbbing painfully in the process.
"Ouch."
He opened his one good eye and sure in enough in front of his was the village's small hero , Hiccup, and he didn't look happy. Tuffnut , not wanting to get hurt in any other parts of his body, took his helmet off his head and put it in front of his crotch.
"Ok, ok, Hiccup I know you're pissed off, I mean it's not everyday that a guy asks you to become his wife, not that you wouldn't be any good as a wife—I mean you would!!! No- no, I mean—"
Hiccup climbed on to the table and straddled the older Viking's lap, grabbing his collar and pulling him closer, their lips almost touching.
"Shut up , Tuff."
And with that he pulled the blond Viking closer, smashing  their lips together, knocking the wind out of him. Tuffnut was shocked at first but then slowly started to melt against the warmth of Hiccup's lips. Tuffnut's hands slowly crept their way around the smaller Viking's waist, but just when he was going to deepen their fiery kiss Hiccup pulled away, leaving both of them breathless.
The red haired Viking cautiously looked around the grand hall; it was totally empty, expect for some older Vikings in the corner who had passed out from drinking too much. Perfect. He slowly leaned down and whispered in the teen Viking's ear, " Come over when the sun goes down. Come around  the back so you don't wake up Toothless. I'll leave my window open for you." He lightly nibbled on his ear, enjoying the moan Tuffnut made.
Hiccup got off Tuffnut's lap and made his was towards the exit.
"Woah." Tuffnut put both hands behind his head and lied down on the table. staring at the rocky ceiling, smiling to himself.
"Turns out wedding aren't so bad. "

Description
On the island of Berk , parents would usually wed their kids at a very young age.(Cause let's face it , if your whole village fights dragon every single night, chances are that you may not live to see your thirties.) The main reason was so they could produce offspring; usually they would wed by the age of 15-18. Usually wedding weddings would be a happy thing, all the food and mead you can eat or drink, but not for the kids. They had to spend to the wedding being shown around to possible future husband and wives. So for kids, weddings SUCK.
The whole village was gathered for a wedding reception; some were congratulating the newly wed couple when others were getting drunk on ale; yup, a Viking wedding was a best kind of wedding.
In the far corner of the room sat Tuffnut and Snotlout, leaning against a wall talking, each with a mug of mead in there hand.
" Grossbug, really got lucky, look at her." Snotlout pointed to the newly wed 16 year olds.
"Ahhh. …yeah, sure he certainly caught himself a good one. I mean look at the long red flowing hair—"
"That's Grossbug. The bride is the blond."
"…..oh….. Hairy for girl." Tuffnut brought the mug to his lips and took a big gulp. "The mead must be getting to me."
"You know, we're almost 16 ourselves it's time we find ourselves some brides." Snotlout also took a swing of his drink, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. Tuffnut just rolled his eyes and snorted.
" Easier said then done. Anyway, our parents decide that shit, we just have to go along with it." Tuff swallowed the last bit of mead in his mug. " Ok, I'm ready for another one."
Both teens pushed themselves off the wall and walked over to the mead barrels. Snotlout took the cork out of the barrel and poured the strong wine into their mugs. "Dude, I mean it, seriously we gotta start think about our future and stuff. Of course I don't got a problem, not with this gorgeous face." As Snotlout flexed him muscles the male twin just rolled his eyes and made his way to the nearest empty table and sat down.
"Of course you don't have a problem and it's not because of your "gorgeous" face."
"So what's the problem?"
"The problem is that there are only two girls on this island my age, one is my own twin sister and the other one is a bitch witch with a sword up her ass!" Tuffnut drank half of his mead in one single gulp and smacked the mug down on the wooden table. "My parents keep bitching about it!! I'm boned!!"
" Stop being such a drama Viking. What about older chicks?"
" Can't!  Hairy pits over there was the last of them."
"Younger?"
"All of them 5 year olds."
"You're too picky."
Tuffnut banged his head on the wooden table over and over again. "Weddings sucks."
"Actually now that I think of it, Astrid is with Hiccup; even if you wanted to, you can't."
Tuffnut stopped banging his hade on the table. When he did, the first thing he saw was Hiccup. The small Viking hero was sitting next to his father, who was giving a speech for the newly weds and Astrid, who seemed to be glued to his arm.
"Hiccup. That's it, Hiccup!"  Snotlout raised an eyebrow to the blond male twin. "Yeah and Astrid. Can you believe it? All he did was defeat the strongest and deadliest dragon ever know to Viking kind and showed us that the dragons we were fighting for all our lives were actually harmless. Is that any reason for him to get the girl in the end?"
Tuffnut had blocked out Snotlout's voice and really just about everything around him. All he was focused on was the other Viking at the other end of the room. Hiccup looked a little bit uncomfortable being in the front table (in front of everyone) and with Astrid wrapped around his arm. Probably because he was used to being left in the back table where nobody could see him.
After the whole " Green Death" thing, Hiccup had been getting very special treatment from every one in the village. And although some people ( Snotlout) would usually let all this fame go to his head, Hiccup was still humbled , shy, and clumsy. Completely unaffected by all the attention.
" And those are the reasons why I should be with Astrid—Tuff, Tuff are you even listening to me? Tuff!!"
"What if I married Hiccup?"
The buff Viking shot all of the mead out of his mouth and started to chough. "What?."
" I said "what if I married Hiccup."?
" Ok, no more mead for you," said Snotlout as he took the mug out of the blonde's hand, still looking at him with wide eyes.
"No man, I'm serious . Look, he's cute, nice , polite and he's not hairy . Put some curves on him and some breasts, he'll make a good wife."
" ……..what?"
"Also he has a really flexible body, one time I saw him doing stretches, you know for his leg. Man, I didn't know that a human could bend like that."
Snotlout coved his eyes and hit his head on the wooden table. "I can't believe that I'm hearing this from you!"
" I also heard that he can cook very well."
"And I can't believe you're continuing!!!"
"What? It's not like it's frowned upon. The elders don't even talk about it."
"….And there is a good reason for that!!!"
" I bet he has a nice firm butt—."
" Uh hello?! That's my cousin you're talking about!!! And stop talking about him."
"Why are you so uptight about this? We've talked about this kind of stuff before."
" Yeah, about girls."
Tuffnut snatched his mug out of Snotlout's hand and brought it to his lips.
"Tuff, even if Hiccup was a girl and by the way I'm still very l very uncomfortable with this conversation, there would still be a dozen more reasons why this can't work out." Tuffnut just snort.
"Like what?"
"Ok, well let's see, first, being the only child of the chief of the village , you've got to be some kind of war hero to get his father's approval; and number two he's with Astrid. I mean, look at them."
The teens gazed fell again on the other couple. Astrid was whining about something on the lines of Hiccup needing to live up and drink a little and although the boy refused , she shoved the cup into his hand, told him to get some balls and left the table. This little scene clearly seemed to go unnoticed by the older Vikings, who were stuffing their faces with meat.
"Besides if someone's going to break them up, it's going to be me. And let's stop talking about this, your sister is coming."
Sure enough the female twin sat down in between the two male Vikings, knocking her brother over the bench in the process.
"What's up?" she asked as she swiped her brother's mug and drank.
" Nothing much, your brother is just drunk as a fuck—"
"I'm not drunk!!"
"What about you?"
Ruffnut sighed as she dropped her head on the table , just like her brother had done previously. "My parents are trying to set me up with Fishlegs."
Tuffnut laughed as he got up from the floor. " Really, Fishlegs?"
"Yup, they're really desperate, since I'm they only hope of having any grand-children."
"Hey! Take that back, garbage breath!"
"Oh yeah? Make me!"
The twin climbed on the table, fist against first and the sound of the helmets crashing together.
"You're lucky I can't make a scene, or mom and dad will find me. But when we get home I'm going to make you bleed."
"Bring it on, little sis."
The twins slowly sat down again, both still shooting deadly looks at each other. Snotlout was used to the twins wanting to kill each other (just like the whole village was used to.)
"So were is Fishlegs?" asked Snotlout.
" Hiding, his parents are looking from him, ours too."
"Where did he hide?"
Ruffnut pointed her finger towards the barrels of mead. "He's hiding in the top barrel. Geeky meathead got the good hiding spot."
" Doesn't want you huh? Who can blame him." Tuffnut again got hit upside his head by his sister, resulting in the male twin falling of the bench, again.
"Don't know, don't care, neither of us want this marriage." Ruff eyes fell on the couple across the room. "Astrid is fucking lucky, she's using Hiccup. She's set for life."
Snotlout raised an eyebrow . "What do you mean by that?"
The male twin astared at his sister, wondering what she meant by "using Hiccup."
The blond female Viking, who was gulping down her drink, smacked her mug down on the table and looked at the two boys with a deadly look.
"Don't tell me you actually believe that they're still together!?"
" WHAT!" Screamed Tuffnut , making almost everyone in the main hall turn their heads."….my bad…" he said in a small voice. Suddenly Ruffnut grabbed his collar and pulled him closer to her.
"Shut up dragon butt, or else our parent will find me." She said as he let go of her brother.
"Yeah, whatever. What did you say before?"
Ruffnut  waved her two fingers , motioning to Tuffnut and Snotlout to move closer , she spoke in a hush tone.
"They broke up like months ago, Astrid said it was because Hiccup wasn't treating her like a " girlfriend", whatever that means. Anyway the whole thing is a show, this way both of their parents are happy. I mean, look at them."
The three young Vikings turned their eyes to Hiccup and Astrid once more. Atsrid was inspecting her nails while Hiccup was just doodling in his sketch book; but whenever someone came near them, they would quickly come closer together and Astrid would wrap her arms around Hiccup and put on a huge fake smile.
"What about when the get older? They have to get married."
" And they're going to, then they will make little Viking babies and probably get killed in an attack by another village or a monster of some sort, circle of a Viking's life; it's a beautiful thing," said the blond twin as she made a circle in the air using her index finger.
" So, you're saying that Hiccup is available," said Tuffnut.
"Unn…Yeah, miss " Berk's best" won't let me have him , so I got stuck with Fishlegs."
So the female Viking continued to rant on about how stupid it was to get married, to Snoutlout ( who seemed to be falling asleep .)
She stopped when se saw the look on her twin's face and raised an eyebrow. "Tuff, what's with look?"
Tuffnut talked in smooth sickly sweet voice to his sister. "What ever do you mean, dear sister of mine?" Ruffnut gave her bother a cold look as he got up from his seat and  started to walk across the room towards the young fake couple. When he reached their table he leaned down and whispered something in the petite male Viking's ear. Hiccup nodded and got up, slightly limping as he did, clearly not used to his new leg yet; he followed the blond Viking into a dark quiet corner of the main hall.
" What in Thor's hammer just happened?" Snotlout raised his mug and shot Ruffnut a pity look.
"Let's just say, Tuff's going to know how a metal kick in crotch is going to feel, and you're going to lose a brother and gain sister." And with that she gulped down her last bit of mead.

~0~0~0~0~0

"Oh, oh Ouch!!! Be careful! Women are supposed to be good at this stuff!"
"If you don't like it then do it yourself, I'm going home!"
Ruffnut  threw the cold raw stake at her brother and left the hall. Tuffnut picked up the stake and put it gently over his black eye.  He turned over to Snotlout who was smiling smugly.
"Don't . Say. A . Word!"
"I thought he was going to kick you in the crotch. But Odin's bread I had know idea Hiccup could even make a fist, let alone punch!"
"Oh, I feel so honored," Tuffnut said sarcastically as he lied flat down on the table, still holding the stake on his eye firmly.
"  Well I'm leaving, seeing you in pain is only funny for a short while. "
The injured Viking was left alone in the empty hall, the weeding celebration long finished.
As Tuffnut lied there, on the table hold his aching head and trying to stop the swelling form his black eye , he heard the sound of metal clacking on stone; he quickly got up, his head throbbing painfully in the process.
"Ouch."
He opened his one good eye and sure in enough in front of his was the village's small hero , Hiccup, and he didn't look happy. Tuffnut , not wanting to get hurt in any other parts of his body, took his helmet off his head and put it in front of his crotch.
"Ok, ok, Hiccup I know you're pissed off, I mean it's not everyday that a guy asks you to become his wife, not that you wouldn't be any good as a wife—I mean you would!!! No- no, I mean—"
Hiccup climbed on to the table and straddled the older Viking's lap, grabbing his collar and pulling him closer, their lips almost touching.
"Shut up , Tuff."
And with that he pulled the blond Viking closer, smashing  their lips together, knocking the wind out of him. Tuffnut was shocked at first but then slowly started to melt against the warmth of Hiccup's lips. Tuffnut's hands slowly crept their way around the smaller Viking's waist, but just when he was going to deepen their fiery kiss Hiccup pulled away, leaving both of them breathless.
The red haired Viking cautiously looked around the grand hall; it was totally empty, expect for some older Vikings in the corner who had passed out from drinking too much. Perfect. He slowly leaned down and whispered in the teen Viking's ear, " Come over when the sun goes down. Come around  the back so you don't wake up Toothless. I'll leave my window open for you." He lightly nibbled on his ear, enjoying the moan Tuffnut made.
Hiccup got off Tuffnut's lap and made his was towards the exit.
"Woah." Tuffnut put both hands behind his head and lied down on the table. staring at the rocky ceiling, smiling to himself.
"Turns out wedding aren't so bad. "