HOME | DD
BlazeNekoFox — the Foxy Prinsess in her coat
Published: 2014-05-24 13:37:46 +0000 UTC; Views: 1078; Favourites: 25; Downloads: 0
Redirect to original
Description
if you bin watching me, you know i bin trying to make my oun version of mlp, well i finery did Twilightmy version of Twi is she's a fox, (none of the other ponies are foxes part from two others at least), she was adopted by queen Luna when she was young because she cart her stealing food by using magic and her quick thinking at a level a 6 year old shouldn't be be able to do, after caching her, Luna finds out Twi is an orthin and so she takes her orphan she takes Twi as her student then later her daughter which a most nobles didn't like, so most nobles hate her so she was a short in that read all the time. skipping a lot of years where Twi is 18, Twi wanted to have wings and was making a Spell that give her pegasus wings, she hears that there is a new wonderbolt coming and Twi needs a feather as a medium so when she saw the pegasus (Rainbow Dash) she took a feather without Dash knowing and when she did the spell it when wrong, a couple of months later she finds out she's pregnant with Scootaloo panicking at 1st thinking what she shored do and thinking what to do in the end Twi keeps her and becomes a loving mom, 6 years later Twi reads a book on the mare in the moon (so it's the same part from it's Solar Flare instead of Nightmare Moon) as she stays with her friends she forms a crush on Pinkie but doesn't read on it as Pinkie is 16. skip 3 years as Twi grow up with ponies she's into ponies and dated Flash Sentry beats Pinkie to the punch and starts dating Twi sadly she learns that Flash was cheating on her and using her and that Flash only wanted her as she's a Princess and Flash telling her no pony will love a fox like her when they where fighting which hurt Twi a lot and made her think she's unlovable for months till a vampire pony tells Twi off for thinking that and that she shored open her eyes as it's plain as day that she likes some-pony else but it takes a drunken Twi and a drunken Pinkie to get them together.
the pic i used tiavik.deviantart.com/art/Prin…
the coat idea came from tiavik.deviantart.com/art/Burn… i love that coat it's so cool X3 also the colours of her coat are same as Blaze and the trim are young Luna the artist for that pic :iconluigiix:
this is my fav style of art i don't, yes it's mostly mix with mine mostly hers X3 but i love it, like how i did her feet paws
Twilight and mlp (c) hasbro
Related content
Comments: 5
cute! Some small grammer errors to speak of though still understandable. Might need to work on spacing though.
(large unspaced/unseparated blocks/bricks of text are not easy to read.)
On average one paragraph/block to an idea or subject and each paragraph should be 3 to 5 or 6 lines long, not exceeding 8 on average. A person's brain and eyes are good at seeing sets of 3 to 5 making for faster reading, but as above without uniqueness separating points it all 'blends together' making it take a LOT more effort. Myself and others with good focus can piece it apart perhaps but even then it takes a lot more time then when one can skim something over.
It likely wouldn't take long to edit, but would make things much easier for many readers. Just look through where ideas separate parts of the story, like where you introduce her as a fox then where she meets Luna, etc.
Using Double-Spacing like here you can then make for a great deal easier to follow dialogue.
Good grammer habits are not always at first easy and do often take a good deal of effort to break ourselves into following but it makes a world of difference not just for others but for ourselves too. (esp when proofreading back over what we write)
👍: 0 ⏩: 2
I'm dyslexic
i don't know what that means
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
To go for about 3 to 5 lines of text for an idea or subject and puting a line of space between?
Or something else?
*can look at my posts or any number of my Critiques on my page in full to see what I mean as a guide.
When you go for like ten or tweenty lines of text unspaced like some do, a "wall of text",
It becomes difficult to see what is written.
But I can understand things making writing difficult so dont stress to death over it, and feel free to use my critiques & posts as a guide to what I mean. Learning to do so more so then knowing how to takes pratice but it helps a LOT for not just other readers but it will help you aswell when looking back over things you've written, especially if like you said. Just takes pratice. ^-^
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
As for Twi'fox herself again, as said very cute. Good call on her overall look, to be akin to Blaze yet still close with Twilight, though not quite a copy of either. And though cute if a smallest tad sexy not just outright trying to be seductive or scanky.
A nice balance and a cute pose, if things seem or feel a bit "top heavy", not sure why or how to say...
If perhaps the lack of much 'up top' to balance her legs, or perhaps its the tail; im not sure what is exactly affecting the balance of viewing but that she is ofset as much to the left and her left thigh is half her overall size? (lulzjk)
I feel its a trick of the coloring or light more than actual shapes as she is shaped well, and it would seem you gave her a look of floating/levitation? A nice touch. (and the think with her hand/paw is cute)
Perhaps overall its just a matter of being so far offset left from center and how the inside between her tail and her looks, though as one's eyes see everything and adjusts it becomes less pronounced. Same as for being as far to the left, when one adjusts their 'center' of viewing.
Overall, a very nice work for someone I take to be a somewhat experienced amature artist?
(not a beginner, though not quite by looks one with years of professional work/training)
I like your work here and hope you continue to work & improve! >_<)'7
(about how long have you been at work on/with this project?)
👍: 0 ⏩: 0