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Bleeding-wickedly β Gone
Published: 2004-11-03 13:15:34 +0000 UTC; Views: 1340; Favourites: 29; Downloads: 89
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Description
You let yourself just slip awayLeaving me behind
Memories of a gentle smile
Echo through a torn up mind
So many unspoken words
That will never now be said
Too many open wounds
That for too long have bled
Turned my back to you
When you needed me the most
I'm so sorry that towards the end
We were no longer close
I'm sorry that I let you go
That I stood and saw you fall
And now I'll never know
If I could have helped at all
My hatred twists to a sorrowed love
Wishing I could bring you back
Clinging to your final words
As everything fades to black
Yet I'm screaming in a mournful rage
At how you could leave me here
How you could just abandon me
To face all of these fears
Terror that you brought to me
Yet it is you who gets to escape
And any chance to understand
Has been left far too late
An eternal hateful love
Burning like acid in my veins
Mascara tears from angels
Will forever leave a stain
Together we faced hell
And together we fell apart
But alone I have to face tomorrow
With you resting only in my heart
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Comments: 78
incredibly moving
i am in awww close to tears
i had that same feeling of abandonment
when i suppose it started out as my fault
but really ended up hurting me more in the longrun
at least i think
i dunno, i'm not inside his mind and i dont know what he is thinking (anymore)
i could ramble on forever
or i could just tell you how amazing you are with your poetry
WOW
i better keep rambling b/c i dont think anyone could really tell you just how wonderful your words are.
i hope you never stop writing
and never feel like your stuff isnt any good. because i have devoted the last 6 years of my life to poetry and the hope of being a writer, and reading the classics, and modern material, and i have never encountered a more emotional, talented, wonderfull, expressive writer than you are!
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an absolutely gorgeous piece
im in aww... that was amazing
o sweetheart, my deepest condolences
wow, that is such an unberable feeling
i know what youre going through... i recently lost a dear friend to suicide
just please please please, dont give up
im always here for you.... anything you need
*stay strong, stay beautiful*
lovin you with never a cold hand to hold
riley
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it IS a very beautiful poem
the best part bout it is the range of emotions
many of them fit into a few lines n it dusnt feel awkward.. all of them blend in so well
but i think you could have used more imagery and made it a little more beautiful yu kno its too direct
i said that since yu're such a good writer
but all yo poems have this directness try playing wit it
newayz nice poem~
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Sorry for such short comments, but WOW! What else can I say on this, your rhyming is great, the emotion is shown very clearly, I need to learn to write like this!
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Thank you, it really does mean so so much, I am going to read your writing as soon as I manage to breath again heh
thank you!!!
xxx
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The good stuff:
My hatred twists to a sorrowed love
Wishing I could bring you back
Clinging to your final words
As everything fades to black
This stanza candidly sums up the feeling and reaction I (and others) would get for someone they loved and lost. The imagery didn't hurt either.
An eternal hateful love
Burning like acid in my veins
Mascara tears from angels
Will forever leave a stain
Wow. Hateful love burning like acid in my veins. Mascara tears from angels. Wow.
Together we faced hell
And together we fell apart
But alone I have to face tomorrow
With you resting only in my heart
Again, the way you are able to evoke images without being too verbose is exemplified. I couldn't help but sigh at the bittersweetness of the last too linesβsimple, yet superb.
The stuff that could be improved:
The 2nd and 6th stanza seem a bit too clichΓ©. Color them in with less used imagery.
Punctuation would help, for the structure is so refined as to imply one.
Overall, a very good readβclassic, emotional, and heartstring-tugging in all the right places.
I look forward to reading more.
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Beautiful poem - nice imagery - still very sad 
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aaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
i love tha last stanza!
reallly good poem
>duh, you wrote it<
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wow....he was only 3 years older than me...too young.....
im sorry. this is such a beautiful, heartfelt piece, i personally think no comments or thoughts could truly describe it.
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omg tht is so beautifully captured-well done, sorry for your loss
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i think you can probably guess what im going to say but im gonna say it anyway...
that was absolutely beautiful and yet so sad...
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Wow. I was feeling a little upset tonight and came across this poem. What happened tonight is nothing compared to what happened to you. I think I'll fav your poem 'cause it's so intense and so real. It kinda went through my mind like a song.
I think this is a poem no one will forget once they read it. 
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of course you can if you really want to
thank you so much x x x
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Oh gosh, this is wonderful.
Very well written, nice flow, and very powerful words.
Nice job.
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gorgeous poem... who'd you write it for... they're lucky!
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Its beautiful, few lines are a bit out of time, but beautiful nonetheless.
I'm sorry...
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i feel pain and love at the same time this is a really good piece i like it allot
it make me feel cold then it remindes me of who i can count on and love so much
good job
Nick
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hey it was my pleasure to comment on such good work
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this is awesome this is goin to be one of my favs ive eva read here its very power yet really sad it was great i loved it keep it upp and ill be watchin out for more. ~chonsey
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This is an awsome poem. I'm sorry about your loss... *comforting pat* feel better!
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x x x x
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very well written.
nothing seems forced.
flows extremely well.
kudos to you.
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im sorry for ur loss.. i lost a friend also over the weekend.
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I'm so so sorry
take care
thank you so much for the
x x x x
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its ok, its hard, but im getting through. im sure you feel the same. stay strong.
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this made me so sad, i can't even find an emoticon to express it *wipes away a tear* oh my godess! 
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thank you
x x x x x x
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Mascara tears from angels
Will forever leave a stain>>
I must say i like this too
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thank you
x x x x x
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oh hun, thats such a sad poem but its beautiful, lots of emotion and sadness.. you are such a good writer. i miss hearing from you
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thank you so much
sorry I'm not around that much at the moment
thanks again
xxxxx
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welcome, welcome
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thank you it means a lot
x x x x x
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I cried while reading that...
Make me feel a lot of emotion
You're the best writter ever and I'm sorry for what append with your friend...
:S
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Sorry you cried
thank you x x x
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No problem
:
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wow great poem thats exactly how i felt when my friend commited sucide, great job
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thank you x x x
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that was so sad.. very powerful.. it flows very nicely..
makes me almost cry
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