Description
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UPDATE (Dec 24, 2013): I removed the link to Nick.com to watch One Coarse Meal because... they removed the episode from their roster. All they're showing right now are clips and episodes from Season 9. Sadly, that was the only way for you all to suff- I mean, watch the episode alongside this review. And because Viacom is pretty cutthroat about their content being uploaded to the internet- like this episode being uploaded in full without their consent- they'll just take it down immediately.
So, the only way to watch it is, if you happen to have the Season 7 DVD, or if the episode happens to show up on TV. Otherwise, you're going to either have to watch the "Speedy" versions of the episode they have on YouTube, or try to visualize what's going on the episode.
I'm sorry about that, but there's nothing I can do to fix it. I recommend watching the "Speedy" versions of this episode, as they are the most easily-accessible, but they will NOT match up with the time-stamp system of this review.
Once again, I apologize sincerely.
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Hello, Deviants everywhere!
As you guys might remember, last Thanksgiving I posted my Top 20 Worst SpongeBob SquarePants Episodes list. These episodes ranged from 20,000 Patties Under the Sea, to House Fancy, to The Splinter, to Summer Job, to One Coarse Meal, just to name a few. If there’s anything they share in common, aside from being part of the same show, and being the poison of cartoons in the western hemisphere, they’re also terrible. One episode in particular stands out though, and that would be One Coarse Meal, as you can imagine. Why? Well, there’s something about this episode that pushes it beyond a stupid episode or a bad special; something about it… just makes it… “special”. Keep this formula in mind:
Special =/= Good
It topped the list, and for a very special reason, but rather than explain this in the form of a boring essay, I’m going to do something a little… different.
In this review I’m actually working with a good friend of mine and roommate, , AKA Cody, is actually going to help me to review this monster, for two reasons:
1. We’ve planned for this to be the first double-review, and also a different style of review I like to call “Checkpoint Review”. By this I mean, I will post a link to the episode, so you can suffer watch alongside with us. This way, you can see where we break out into discussing what went wrong with this episode.
2. I needed a sucker, victim, somebody who had not seen the episode, somebody who was blind to the horror, just to see if they could see the problems that I did with this episode.
Also, we’re going to be using a script-type format in order for us to discuss our thoughts without any confusion. The checkpoints will be represented by “XX : XX”, to show where we paused the episode to share our commentary.
Now, without further ado, let’s watch One Coarse Meal and see why it made the top, or should I say “bottom”, of the list.
00:00
Danny: Welcome to the point of no return. First of all, I hate the title card- just everything about it. The title card looks pretty… eerie; it really sets the mood of what could be a pretty scary episode. The music just… doesn’t match; it’s WAY too cheery for this type of episode.
Cody: My lord, this whole episode itself is out of place for the show.
Danny: And we haven’t even started!
00:03
Cody: Who the flying blue hell decided to write this?
Danny: … they’re dead to me.
00:17
Danny: … and here are my nightmares for the week.
Cody: Why is he getting naked...? Is he actually getting laid...?
Danny: After Summer Job? I doubt it.
00:38
Danny: … surprise, surprise.
01:36
Danny: I have to admit, the way this episode actually starts, it took me by surprise, and not in a negative way. Plankton actually defeats Krabs and SpongeBob in pretty impressive, albeit weird, way.
Cody: It definitely seemed like a fun battle, and hell Plankton actually did win, which incidentally, is the highlight of this episode, more or less.
02:28
Danny: … I have no words for this.
Cody: What…the...hell…? Way to go SpringBoob…
03:24
Danny: Okay, that’s easily the only funny moment in this episode.
Cody: Yeah… although I’m not quite sure when Plankton suddenly became scared of pearl..i mean he’s been around her plenty of times, and nothing... suddenly, heart attack when he’s near her.
Danny: … and this is where the episode starts to fall apart. The thing is that in order for the episode to make sense, we have to believe that Plankton is scared of whales. But, as you said, he’s been around Pearl before. One notable example is, The Algae is Always Greener. Granted, that episode Plankton switched roles with Krabs, but he still interacted with her with no signs of fear. Obviously, anybody who’s watched the show for this long, would know that Plankton being scared of Pearl just wouldn’t happen.
Cody: Also, what “Documentaries” was plankton talking about? I mean, they all live under the ocean.. .what documentaries do they have on whales eating plankton anyway? I’m pretty sure they don’t have those shows.
Danny: First of all, they don’t, they eat krill. Second of all, we’re talking about them as people; which would technically make the whales cannibals. This scene highlights one of the episode’s biggest weaknesses, which is the inconsistency of the show in general. Most of the time, especially in the earlier seasons, they would use the inconsistencies of the show’s setting to an episode’s advantage for a great joke. In the recent seasons however, it treats the show’s setting in… basically whatever manner it wants it to be. How is this relevant? Well, because, as I said, it makes the inconsistencies and plot holes shine through, black and white, clear as crystal. It’s not the first episode to suffer from this, but believe me, we’re just getting started.
Cody: Ya know, you talk a lot… but I get your point, the plot holes and stupid nonsense made the show able to crack good jokes... now, it really is just stupid nonsense, it all falls apart… like your mom clothes..
Danny: … what?
03:45
Danny: Umm… isn’t that illegal?
Cody: Yes… yes it is… Mr. Krabs is one cheap son of a b-
04:38
Danny: And… I’m not going to repeat myself as to why that is a plot hole. Again, flimsy set up for the stupid episode.
Cody: Yeah… pretty much… and because I’m sure no one asked this at the studios for this episode… “Is there a gas leak in here?”
06:04
Danny: I think by this point, it’s easy to tell that’s NOT Pearl. But… that’s only one thing that’s wrong.
Cody: It’s pretty hard to see how much this has effected plankton..i mean I wasn’t even aware of that fact that he could grow hair… or nails... especially to such an extent.. .and did he say 16 days? Poor Plankton.
Danny: Another thing, again inconsistent, is the tone of the episode. It’s jarring how much it shifts between comedic and disturbing, especially here. There’s nothing about this scene that’s particularly funny, rather it emphasizes how screwed up this whole ordeal is. Krabs should be able to understand he’s crossing a line… right?
Cody: Quite apparently he doesn’t.. .and plankton’s getting pretty much no mercy from this red shelled looney.
07:02
Danny:…
…
… where do I begin?
Cody: Well… for one… this is just a nitpick, but why is plankton’s bed nothing but steel…? Isn’t he going through enough right now? And the people behind this episode give him a steel bed? Anyway, his nightmare is pretty terrifying… by this show’s standards (if it has any), and poor plankton can’t even get a good night’s sleep. I mean it seemed nice for him to see his family... but then they ruined this moment with plankton losing all skin and tissue from the gastric acid…
Danny: This is a nightmare scene, so I can understand them doing THAT… but, it doesn’t excuse any of this. First of all, whether or not the viewer watching this find the scene scary, it’s easy to understand that nightmares are frightening to the one having it. I know that should go without saying, but they clearly show that everything that Krabs is doing to poor Plankton, is making him suffer. That was a very… “vivid” nightmare sequence, and I could do nothing but feel sorry for Plankton. Even if you consider stealing the Krabby Patty formula a crime, which legally it is, Plankton has done NOTHING to deserve THIS type of torment. Regarding Plankton’s demise in his nightmare, I don’t know about you, but it is a pretty morbid moment. No blood or guts are shown… but that doesn’t make it any less gruesome, your imagination could easily fill in the gaps of what happened, and you’ll see how messed up it is. To anybody reading this, before you say anything, I know it’s a nightmare, yes… but, there was no need for them to be so detailed with it; I don’t know if I made this point before, but SpongeBob is not the type of show to rely on shocking the viewer in order to get a reaction, positive, or otherwise, it has relied more in its comedy and likeable cast. HERE, anything that gave SpongeBob the charm that’s made it so memorable, it is stripped straight out of it, namely here. And if the nightmare isn’t enough for you to turn away your head in disgust, Mr. Krabs GLOATING about all the emotional damage he’s causing to Plankton should really be the nail on the head as to what your opinion on this show is. There is another problem that this episode represents for me, but I’ll get to that later. For now…
…oh, God. There’s more of this.
07:31
Danny: … oh, boy. Gimme a minute..
Cody: Here, I’ll take over. So, yeah. That happened, Plankton decided he wanted to end his life by getting run over… or stomped to death. Now quite honestly, that’s extraordinarily dark for a show that’s supposed to be aimed at CHILDREN…he specifically asked himself, what was the point in going on (living if you couldn’t figure that) and decided to lay in the road…but hey, SpongeBob decided to come over and see what’s up… I wonder how he’ll make things worse…?
07:34
Danny: “Good nature”? “GOOD NATURE”?! Okay, let me step back a little… let me get this straight… it’s too much for SpongeBob’s “good nature” for him to crush Plankton, but it’s perfectly okay to cooperate with Krabs in order to write bogus stories to harm his friends? It’s okay for him to leave his pet at the hands of a monstrous creature? It’s okay for him to drive his neighbors to insanity? It’s okay for him to ruin Squidward’s TV show? It’s okay for him to kidnap and arrest children and seniors without any comeuppance? Among many other things… that… it’s all okay… perfectly fine, just dandy… a-okay… Plankton willingly asking SpongeBob to crush him as hard as possible? That’s too much…?
… I just don’t GET YOU, SHOW! ARE YOU HONESTLY TRYING TO TELL ME AFTER ALL THAT HE’S DONE, ALL THE DAMAGE HE’S CAUSED, ALL THE FUCKING BUFOONERY HE’S DONE, THIS IS TOO MUCH??!!
… okay, that, that line right there… that’s… what else needs to said? There is absolutely NO redeeming this episode whatsoever! BUT… it’s still not over… why am I doing this again?
Cody: Because you’ve decided to torment yourself… you masochist... and you decided to drag me along with you..
08:00
Cody: Mess? I think mess is a MASSIVE understatement. Mr. Krabs, you are a real cynical assh-
08:08
Danny: You’re kidding me… even SpongeBob can see how messed up this is? HIM?!
Cody: At least he’s finally showing that he has SOME kind of conscience..
Danny: I wonder where it was during A Pal for Gary, House Fancy, Best Day Ever- the list goes on, you know?
Cody: Of course I know, he’s spent a very long time being a prick, and not showing any kind of remorse… but I guess suddenly now that someone is attempting SUICIDE!! he finally decides to show he cares.
Danny: He has a noble cause… maybe this episode ISN’T Totally irredeemable…
10:00
Danny: Oh, thank God, there’s only two minutes left. Okay… maybe I was wrong, maybe SpongeBob CAN change for the better- he’s turning against his own BOSS, to help his, Krabs’, ARCH-ENEMY. Be honest with me, people; Krabs had it coming.
Cody: Of course he had it coming… along with all his illegal works.. .his rampant asshole-ish behavior… his easily identifiable disregard for life that is not his own… I think he deserves to be turned against, and SpongeBob turning against him? Makes it so much better.
10:24
Danny: .. a mime? That… that’s just borderline embarrassing.
Cody: …borderline? Dude if I were scared of a mime and suddenly everyone found out… I’d never show my face again. That’s beyond embarrassing… how can someone be scared of a mime? Oh well, I guess now that everyone knows Krab’s fear, he’ll seem a bit less credible now… right?
10:54
Danny: You know… at THIS point in the series, I SHOULD be numb to the one thing that just about ALL of these episodes share; an awful ending- I SHOULD not care that it ends in such a God-awful sour note, I shouldn’t even notice it… and yet… I can’t ignore it. I just can’t ignore the fact that SpongeBob betrayed Plankton like that…
Cody: Technically, he betrayed Krabs... then Krabs again… then Plankton… but still, to think that he almost saved this Goddamn episode… why SpongeBob…? Why couldn’t you have just sided with plankton for ONCE!?!?!?....
Danny: And this is pretty much the reason why this episode is at the top of my list. Why? Because in no way, shape or form, can I defend the way EVERYTHING fell apart. I can NOT let anybody tell me about how or what they liked about this episode, if so… why? Just tell me, if you are that guy, that ONE FUCKING GUY, who likes this episode… please tell me why. I’m being honest, serious… please tell me why? Because, after all of this… there’s nothing that can be said that will do this episode justice- JUSTICE is not a word that should be used in the same sentence as this episode, I-I-I… WHAT ELSE CAN I SAY?! I’m just speechless, I’m baffled, I can’t believe that- okay. It’s one thing to have an episode be horrible the whole way through, that’s one thing… but this episode had a high point, it sunk, then picked up again… it COULD have been salvaged, it COULD have been saved; it would still been out of place, but… if it would have ended right before the last… 30 seconds… I could have been more forgiving about this episode. I’ll take The Splinter over this, I’ll take Yours, Mine and Mine, hell, I’ll even take that toenail scene from House Fancy, at its most cringe-worthy… those episodes are ugly… on the outside. The way I see it, as DISGUSTING and REVOLTING as they are, the more they’re seen, the less and less effect they will have… THIS EPISODE? To call it “disgusting”, doesn’t even begin to cover it. I… to say that I hate this episode… that’s putting it mildly… this is not JUST a bad SpongeBob episode… it is quite possibly the worst episode I’ve seen in a cartoon, ANY cartoon. For, not only, to me, did it bring the quality of the show to the bottom of the sea floor… but the quality of the network. I teased this point up to now-
Cody: Calm down, Dan… you’re gonna pop a blood vessel here. Yeah, we get that the episode is horrible, and it’s definitely driven you down to the depths of insanity. I can tell by the rage on your face and the veins on your forehead that are about to POP, but take a small breath… and then we’ll continue on…
Danny: … as I was saying; I teased this point up to now, this is not just an episode that made quit the show, it made me quit Nickelodeon altogether. I know that may sound like an exaggeration to some of you, but the fact that they let something like this air, and nobody dared to put a stop to it, to make some corrections, SOMETHING; the fact that this was an idea that wasn’t even scrapped… that says a lot. That tells me, they don’t care about what they air, what they write, what they produce… they just don’t care. The fun, care, creativity, whatever Nickelodeon had that made it one of the networks that has produced some very cherished and well-missed shows: Hey, Arnold!, Invader Zim, Rocko’s Modern Life, Danny Phantom, Rugrats, Doug, and even the original SpongeBob SquarePants, just to name a few… whatever they had that made their network worth watching… it’s all gone. This episode is clear proof of this. For that reason, this will forever be the low point of the network, and it’s something that they will not recover from… and judging by how many fans, not from SpongeBob, but Nickelodeon as a whole, have turned off from the network, I’m not alone on this. And… this was hard, this was not an easy episode to stomach…
… did I just make a fucking joke relating to this episode…?
… I’m going to kill myself, now.
Cody:… yeaaah... I guess before I go try to keep Dan from ending himself... I’ll close up this review. Yeah, this episode was horrid… it was depressing.. and all in all… it was just out of character. Everyone was here to just torment plankton, who didn’t deserve it at all. And the one shining moment that SpongeBob could have had… he tossed it out like trash. And seriously, the network itself should be put on notice for this. I’m positive that they knew the context of this episode; they knew that this episode was dark, and so mean-spirited. They knew that this episode should not have been out... was this one of those “Lost Episodes” that actually found its way? Possibly, at least in my opinion, anyway I think it’s time to close up shop, I gotta go hide all the knives and sharp objects before Danny play some “Fruit Ninja” with his arms.
Final Mark of Approval:
Not Rated
You may be wondering why I refused to give the episode a rating mark, but I, for one, doesn’t think that an F- will even cover my hatred for this episode.
Artwork ©
SpongeBob SquarePants © Nickelodeon