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BOBNME — Open Your Eyes
Published: 2006-02-21 17:38:10 +0000 UTC; Views: 58; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 0
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Description Can you see the world , that whole ocean blue you thought revolved around you,
The flowers and trees bow to you and give you the scent of their blooms,
The ocean lends you its mighty and beautiful voice,
The moon grants you the glint in your eye,
Yet you cannot see
See what you've done to me

I see the lies you've veiled them with,
I see behind that rosy scent, venom is just below it ,
Your voice is only so beautiful when your lying ,
Your eyes are closed, yet i can see

I see it in your eyes

I can see how you've twisted mother nature to get you little lust,
How you've forgotten your heritage and given into industrailisation,
You cant bear to even hear the whistling of the wind,
I love you like no other believe me when i say that,
But this blind monstrosity you've become isnt what i fell in love with,
You scream ,you fight and you'll cry ,
And I cant be there to help you,
You've dismissed me out of hand and out of mind,

I see it in your eyes

I know that the real you, is beneath your eyes and that she will return,
As sun rises your eyes open to see the real world,
And what you have done , endless calls trying to reach me i've already gone,
I've left you to make your own way back,

Oh how you loved my dark talent, you spent hours trying to avoid me ,
In fear that I'd control you, You had only but to ask,
I still miss the smell of your skin and the touch of your lips,
But you want to see the real world,
And not live with me behind your eyes,

Open your eyes and kill me
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Comments: 4

trudence05 [2006-02-23 20:47:55 +0000 UTC]

Im no poet
But This Is Good.x

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

BOBNME In reply to trudence05 [2006-02-24 17:30:56 +0000 UTC]

thank you xx

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

BOBNME [2006-02-21 23:18:37 +0000 UTC]

i just changed it quite an bit and im still not sure on it so if u cud , please re read and offer mroe words of wisdom

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

iheartpirates [2006-02-21 18:51:32 +0000 UTC]

theres quite a few spelling mistakesin this youmight wanna check
i think the 'i see it in your eyes' gets a bit too much, maybe just put breaks in the poem rather than the bold writing,or just put less of them in. i do like the start more than the end,its more poetic, the ending just seems too teenage and cliched

👍: 0 ⏩: 0