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bownsingKottyncloudc — cellardoor
Published: 2007-04-27 01:45:55 +0000 UTC; Views: 83; Favourites: 2; Downloads: 7
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Description                                           cellardoor,
                                                   cellardoor
                                     what are you hiding?

                          deeep in the ground across the moor
                                     i do not mind confiding

                                      in their own arms the
                                       dollies are weeping

                                        cellardoor,
                                                  cellardoor
                                     why are we dieing?

                                 from the outside to the in
                                     the soul is weeping

                                      cellardoor,  
                                               cellardoor
                                 we are not keeping

                                     slay the day
                                    cut the night
                                     screw that
                               tip-tap-tapping fight

                                   in the hole
                                slowly rotting
                               darling micies
                           surely biting


                              here and now
                              i hold the key

                             cellardoor,  
                                     cellardoor
                             will you never
                                 free me?
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Comments: 4

Abrainthatleaks [2010-07-27 22:23:08 +0000 UTC]

Frightful wicked placeless
in these faces that aren't faces
in these places that aren't spaces
searching in a great maw
like eyes like up the wearer
every discovery another horror
cleaving at these walls that I've imagine
at this place without a door
Not broken or battered
just not there
If someone else could make it
Dynamite my soul
fill me up with unending light
and let me breath again

(Was better but I went to edit it and messed it up ) (Had to read this one because of Donnie Darko

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

bownsingKottyncloudc In reply to Abrainthatleaks [2010-08-03 18:48:25 +0000 UTC]

Oh, thank you^_^

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anemptypage [2008-05-09 02:21:09 +0000 UTC]

Well, I ed this because it has a rhythmic flow, very smooth and seemingly seamless rhyme scheme. I didn't comment because I didn't have anything to actually criticise in particular - I don't usually explain why I like a poem, it just strikes a chord.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

bownsingKottyncloudc In reply to anemptypage [2008-05-11 20:42:40 +0000 UTC]

no one will ever understand why you enjoy things but only why you do not in only commenting to critique. +^_^+ it's nice to know both how to improve and that you have done something worth a comment. +^_^+ thank you for comming back and telling me why.

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