Comments: 33
Cosmic-Eevee [2014-01-14 17:57:09 +0000 UTC]
Her birthday is one day before mine o_o
This is so awesome owo
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oranlarvitar [2013-12-11 21:00:20 +0000 UTC]
Ahh what a lovely character ;w; I just love her.
Noelle and Emma must meet one day! And congrats on getting in!
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REINDE-ER [2013-12-11 20:59:50 +0000 UTC]
Oh gosh.
Oh GAH I-
She's so cute! I've never really liked Makuhita as a Pokémon, but you know what?
You've made me like it. So congratulations!
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Elen93 [2013-12-09 22:38:33 +0000 UTC]
oh my goodness, she's adorable!
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NebulaWords [2013-12-09 18:19:52 +0000 UTC]
Aww,she's a sweet gradma
Congrat on getting in the group ! ^^ sadly I missed the opening because I didn't check OTL
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HimeHeishi [2013-12-09 16:12:05 +0000 UTC]
oh my goodness I love her<333
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Kaitanium [2013-12-09 15:28:49 +0000 UTC]
I just love her!!!! I hope we can rp sometime.
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Mage-Madisaur [2013-12-09 12:15:45 +0000 UTC]
WELCOME TO THE GROUP! Also, she looks like a lovely older lady. c:
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Darkm00nShine [2013-12-09 08:29:39 +0000 UTC]
I gotta say I love this character, like seriously. ^^
All my kudos for the animated app, and specially for making a old character, those are really amazing and somehow underrated kind of characters, welcome to the group, and I hope you see you around. =>
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Powerwing-Amber In reply to brackenhawk [2013-12-10 01:05:06 +0000 UTC]
I'm sure you can! ^-^ I think everyone is going to love her.
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CreamyKittens [2013-12-05 23:20:39 +0000 UTC]
um question where did u find not animated app ? im joining too bracken and do u read warrior cats?
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CreamyKittens In reply to brackenhawk [2013-12-06 17:52:39 +0000 UTC]
ok thanks and love your animations (want to exchange 3ds codes)
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sIurpuff [2013-12-05 21:09:49 +0000 UTC]
Oh, I forgot.
I think the bottom part of the application is necessary. Interesting thing too, another member has a Flash animation application and they made it so it could flip back and forth like in the game. In the journals, it doesn't exactly say that you absolutely have to have it but it also says that the purpose of it is to display badges so it may be an important thing to keep. I highly recommend to ask the group, if you haven't already, to see if this application is still valid without it. If not, then you may have to find some way to get it on.
👍: 0 ⏩: 2
sIurpuff In reply to sIurpuff [2013-12-05 21:12:56 +0000 UTC]
I did some clicking around in case you did add it in but didn't say.
Found it!
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brackenhawk In reply to sIurpuff [2013-12-05 21:12:12 +0000 UTC]
You get to it by clicking the icon on the front, I guess it's not clear.
I'll try to change some things, though apparently I'm running out of time...thanks for your help.
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sIurpuff In reply to brackenhawk [2013-12-05 21:17:39 +0000 UTC]
I figured.
Nah, there is plenty of time... well at least to me. I had my app done way before, ahem. But don't worry about it too much, rushing and worrying doesn't mix well. Just do your best and all that jazz.
You're welcome, and good luck~
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sIurpuff [2013-12-05 21:02:42 +0000 UTC]
HISTORY:
The first paragraph of the history is good, it is set up nicely.
The rest however, I feel is lacking in length and detail making it a little on the short side. While the first paragraph focuses on Emma, the rest drifts on her brother and nephew, in about two spaced sentences each. What you want to aim for is at least three paragraphs, with five to ten sentences that is focused on the applying character. The Extras section tells more on Emma's personality more than it is shown in the history. A possible option, if you want, could be to make a "Personality" section or a "Positives and Negatives" section. The Personality section is obvious, the Positives and Negatives organizes the character's ups and downs in terms of well, personality. It's helpful to make sure your character isn't considered Mary Sue.
I suggest adding in more details about Emma's personality, like how she felt towards her brother's wife, surely a character like her had to protest being thrown out? Her nature is adamant and "somewhat stubborn", I suggest writing the history in a way that shows these traits throughout the history. Don't just tell, show. She does seem pretty close to her nephew, so maybe some information on both of the two together can give readers a deeper understanding of their relationship and how Emma interacts with others, not just students.
For one last thing, I recommend giving Emma a direct reason to go to Pokette. A small detail, but to me the second to last sentence feels too ambiguous, "a new place to call home" could be anywhere. But what about Pokette drew her in and not say, anywhere else in Johto?
Alright, I think that's just about it.
Good luck applying~
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gyg8424 [2013-12-05 20:34:32 +0000 UTC]
she is one cute grandma!
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