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breamgappy — Mighty night
Published: 2011-07-20 19:52:28 +0000 UTC; Views: 458; Favourites: 8; Downloads: 7
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Description
I pursued my old devilsin this mighty night
or then do they harass me
Comments: 17
hmmm the flow seems awkward here. I like the twist of imagery you put here with the first line, imaginative and backwards.
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Yep you're right the flow is awkward cause it's a translation
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ohhh, well, I'd love to see the original then.
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[link]
Adaptation of the first stanza
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i agree with mooshu17 and...
haiku is 7-5-7
it seems that in yours is 8-5-7 -> pur-su-ed (three syllable's), please, correct me if i am wrong! anyway, it's beautiful!
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Haiku is most definitely not 5-7-5 syllables.
It is 5-7-5 (or less) on or morae. Syllables and morae are not the same. English syllables may contain one, two or three morae.
And so counting syllables in English haiku is incorrect. Though they still need to be a concise poetic form and meet the other (more important) requirements of the genre.
There's a great article on (not) counting syllables by *mcdermid that you might want to read.
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I think you can leave the "then" though I think if the last line is a question (I'm reading it as a question) that it needs a question mark. Awesome entry - good luck
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No ponctuation in Haiku, and i'm not sure that is a question
Thank you to support me
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Accepted for the Haiku Club's 2011 Tanabata Contest ! Make sure to check out the other entries and our contest history as well.
Good luck and consider participating in our other active events .
Home of Eastern Poetry
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Featured here: [link] Don't forget to fave the article!
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Did you mean to say "or do they harass me"? Or does this have something to do with the syllable count?
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Yep the syllabe count is important, but you're right, i'll change "or then do they harass me"
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