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BriarHK — Mental illness is... by-nc-nd
#mentalillness #triggerwarning
Published: 2018-02-01 21:34:37 +0000 UTC; Views: 142; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 0
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Description Mental illness is
thinking, "I should fast for the next week," or
"I should go to the bathroom and puke,"
when you realize that you ate more than you planned to for lunch.

Mental illness is
Looking in the mirror,
and focusing on how your thighs still touch,
nevermind the fact that you can count your ribs.

Mental illness is
always feeling tired, even with a full night of sleep,
or never being able to sleep, even after tossing and turning,
and it's 3 AM, but you still can't get to sleep.

Mental illness is
wondering if getting your wrists all sliced up
hurts as much as it looks like it does in movies,
and wondering if anyone will even notice when you're gone.

Mental illness is
feeling like you are living the same day over
and over, with only what you eat and the news changing
day, after day, after day.

Mental illness is
wondering if it's worth it to get up,
to do that page of notes or finish that piece of artwork
and sitting and staring at nothing because every. Little. Thing.
feels empty.
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Comments: 2

Kaeilia [2018-02-05 19:23:10 +0000 UTC]

This really inspired me, which is saying a lot. I've been struggling mentally a lot lately and can relate to some of what you've written for sure. More than I would care to admit. I imagine you weren't looking for an answer, but I was inspired to write this in a sort of 'answer'.

Mental illness is
Walking around feeling like someone is sitting on your chest
When you can barely breathe and smiling is impossible
When you lie down at night with your thoughts and relish the numbness
Because feeling hurts so much worse

Mental illness is
Going to bed without brushing your teeth
For days on end
And going weeks without showering
Because you can't bring yourself to eat, much less wash

Mental illness is 
Sitting down and realizing there is something truly broken
That drive other people have to survive? You don't have it. 
Something is missing and you can never be whole. 

Mental illness is
Crying in despair and wishing you were a miscarriage
Because no one would have missed you
And the pain of your death would have been lessened
Because the world can only be better without you in it

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Agent36496 [2018-02-01 21:35:46 +0000 UTC]

I can relate to this

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