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Description
This resistance of radiance causes me pain,
Why is it so difficult to let it in?
Why do I struggle so much to avoid God?
Is it really my lack of worthiness, my shame,
Or is it pure willfull resistance when I buck and scream
Like a bronc resisting the inevitable?
Fighting with my might, my free will,
A prize I won't give willingly.

I want no easy answers, no suffocating solace,
No dogma to lead me by a nose ring, and yet- my heart is blocked,
There is something beautiful and radiant
And much more free than I could ever imagine
That calls me home.

If only I could go there, will my wild creature parts to follow obediently.
Do these parts not know that nourishment and gentle love await?
Does the free wild pony wish for man-grown hay every morning,
Or the bitter grasses of the autumn hills?
Methinks the bitter grasses, so maybe I should not be so hard on myself,
Protesting the gods and goddesses,
Being sure that it is the wild hills they promise,
And not the corral and saddle and the work of a beast of burden.
Perhaps it is my very resistance that has kept me free
From the cloistered world of simple truths.
I cannot take a cliché home to my bed every night
And expect to find passion, ecstasy,
The truly unbridled stallion of freedom.
So perhaps my heart, so careful in its choices, is my saving grace,
The very thing that has not let me follow the flock
To the slaughterhouse of illusion.

Oh, I'm certainly alive and awake today,
And my skin bristles with quills so stay away from me.
I am fragile and being flung wide open in my search for the radiance.
I trust no-one, feel the fear that has kept me in my castle,
I am truly wise today, cautious, guarded, bordered up in brick walls.
Perhaps if I can accept this
I will not let the frozen ice close on the waterfall in spring,
Perhaps if I can just admit, yes I am frozen,
I will melt in spring.
How my heart longs to be melted from its icy winter!

I will no longer let this darkness that has claimed me in its caverns,
Tortured me with its cruel knives,
Chided me for my beauty,
Convinced me with a lie, 'you do not deserve love.'
I walk away, rip myself away from those dark demons
Who grasp at my ankles,
I race the long maze of tunnels, following the light
Up to the air and sun and sea spray.
Dare I join forces with the light,
And love the planet with the willingness of a saint,
The wisdom of Jesus in my eyes,
The smile of Buddha on my lips?

-"Radiance" by Laura Doyle
[link]

Description
This resistance of radiance causes me pain,
Why is it so difficult to let it in?
Why do I struggle so much to avoid God?
Is it really my lack of worthiness, my shame,
Or is it pure willfull resistance when I buck and scream
Like a bronc resisting the inevitable?
Fighting with my might, my free will,
A prize I won't give willingly.

I want no easy answers, no suffocating solace,
No dogma to lead me by a nose ring, and yet- my heart is blocked,
There is something beautiful and radiant
And much more free than I could ever imagine
That calls me home.

If only I could go there, will my wild creature parts to follow obediently.
Do these parts not know that nourishment and gentle love await?
Does the free wild pony wish for man-grown hay every morning,
Or the bitter grasses of the autumn hills?
Methinks the bitter grasses, so maybe I should not be so hard on myself,
Protesting the gods and goddesses,
Being sure that it is the wild hills they promise,
And not the corral and saddle and the work of a beast of burden.
Perhaps it is my very resistance that has kept me free
From the cloistered world of simple truths.
I cannot take a cliché home to my bed every night
And expect to find passion, ecstasy,
The truly unbridled stallion of freedom.
So perhaps my heart, so careful in its choices, is my saving grace,
The very thing that has not let me follow the flock
To the slaughterhouse of illusion.

Oh, I'm certainly alive and awake today,
And my skin bristles with quills so stay away from me.
I am fragile and being flung wide open in my search for the radiance.
I trust no-one, feel the fear that has kept me in my castle,
I am truly wise today, cautious, guarded, bordered up in brick walls.
Perhaps if I can accept this
I will not let the frozen ice close on the waterfall in spring,
Perhaps if I can just admit, yes I am frozen,
I will melt in spring.
How my heart longs to be melted from its icy winter!

I will no longer let this darkness that has claimed me in its caverns,
Tortured me with its cruel knives,
Chided me for my beauty,
Convinced me with a lie, 'you do not deserve love.'
I walk away, rip myself away from those dark demons
Who grasp at my ankles,
I race the long maze of tunnels, following the light
Up to the air and sun and sea spray.
Dare I join forces with the light,
And love the planet with the willingness of a saint,
The wisdom of Jesus in my eyes,
The smile of Buddha on my lips?

-"Radiance" by Laura Doyle
[link]