Comments: 4
XcD123 [2012-05-11 02:36:23 +0000 UTC]
I loved this! If anything, there could be more details throughout the short story, not so cut and dry like it is now though either way, you maintained that spooky aspect thus painting a picture in my mind. This is Awesome!!!!! Haha!! Yay!...If this was a real legend, I would probably end up tortured then decapitated... I have three missing assignments haha xD
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Bugeye27 In reply to XcD123 [2012-05-11 02:39:00 +0000 UTC]
My writing style isn't very descriptive.... if I could describe things a bit more, it would contribute well to this story.
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XcD123 In reply to Bugeye27 [2012-05-11 02:49:14 +0000 UTC]
Yeah, I know, maybe instead of "Clair saw Chris came back and he showed her a photo of what he saw." You could do " Chris stumbled back into the, almost seeming, spinning room as he stumbled to the pale Clair. His hand was shaky as he hesitated flipping to the gruesome picture of beloved friend, now a disemboweled mess."
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