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Buradorei β Why coming out didn't make it better
Published: 2015-05-24 15:09:02 +0000 UTC; Views: 1139; Favourites: 38; Downloads: 0
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A part 2 to this;I can count the amount of people I came out to on my hand, and this is the majority of the reactions.
I'd like to clarify all my responses to each; whether I actually said so or not.
- What exactly am I "giving up"? Tell me. Everything you can think of; I don't consider a loss. It will be worth it, I wouldn't even try if it wasn't.
- Since when does my dick or therefore lack of have anything to do with defining who I am? Or have such a thing define anyone's worth?
- I'm doing what I can to have my physical form reflect who I am. I have never been a girl.
- Just because you say something isn't inherently for the more feminine person; It doesn't change the fact it was created with cisfemales in mind and therefore marketed towards them. I want things marketed and labelled as "for men."
- I cut my hair because I wanted to. Because I wanted short hair. Because I wanted to donate it. My hair is not some sort of statement.
- No. Like it or not; I am your Son and have always been. If you're going to continue to invalidate me until I have fully transitioned I'll lose all respect for you.
- First of all, you're not even biologically related to me so you have no right to complain about me not supplying you with grandkids. I do not owe you them. If I ever wish to be a Dad, I will fight for my rights to adopt.
- "He." Call me an "it" one more time and I'll punch your lights out, no matter who you are.
- Being trans isn't a choice. I may be choosing to better myself by transitioning, but that us MY choice to make. You won't be missed.
- You have no right to decide who I am. PS; You must have forgotten every single shred of who I am, because I have never in my life been girly.
/vent.
All in all, it's getting harder. But I'm not giving up. I am me.
--
Base by CherryCupcakePixels
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Comments: 57
my mother actually used my trans identity as one of the reasons she tried to kill herself- she compared my coming out as me "killing her daughter", so i know these feels, man
it does get better though, trust me. once you're comfortable in your skin, everything gets so much easier. once you start getting those "sir"s and "mister"s and all that, it all becomes worth it. hang in there.
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Dang... what I went through for telling my grandma I was bisexual-curious doesn't even compare to what you were told. Jeeze the fuss family & some people make when you tell them you've figured out your identity. If a friend ever abandoned you because you told her/him that you're bisexual/gay/lesbian/asexual or anything else then she's not a true friend. I have had a true friend who has stuck with me even after I was molested by my stepfather and I had to move to mexico. So if you ever need an ear or shoulder to cry on you always have true friends or even me, other people online, or offline. Because I know what you're going through, after telling my mom that in reality I'm asexual, She gave me the same excuse: Are you not going to give me grandkids? But after a while of ranting infront of her and crying & telling her the molesting thing she decided to support me, eventhough sometimes she asks me when I plan to get a boyfriend. (parents never change -_-) So yeah. No matter what you will be surrounded by others who care. Jesus sorry for the huge comment.
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How can people be so cruel?! I've also read the first part...Β 
And I feel so sorry for you 
Never give up, mate! 
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I am so sorry that you had to hear all of those things. My dad said all of them to me. I hope things get better and don't let them convince you that you are who they are because it is better to make decisions in your life that make you happy than to live making decisions to make other people happy. If you need to talk or even just let anything out feel free to send me a note.Β
~Riley
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I'm sorry you had to go though the same, bud.
Indeed, I've been told I put other peoples needs first far too many times; now it's my turn.
Thanks for the offer, and same goes for you.
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Those words hurt I hope you don't stay on them too long
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I have a few trans friends , gays , and otherwise in my life all are wonderful people who have to go through these kind of struggles and difficulties. I personally do not even identify with a gender because some days I am a girl and some days im a guy or a happy mixture. I wish you all the best and support you.
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Funny because that's how I originally identified (except female)
Thank you for your support
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Oh my god i am so sorry that happened. my friend is trans too and he gets stuff like that all the time.
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I've gotten used to it, still not nice though
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*hugs* Don't worry, my brother made something kind of like this (He is trans as well) But with the bad comments he also remembered the good comments he received.
here are the pictures I'm talking about
bad comments: lazy-gamer.deviantart.com/art/β¦
good comments:lazy-gamer.deviantart.com/art/β¦
These are all based on real comments he received.
I wish you the very best and the best of luck in your transition
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Interesting, I'd also do a positive one but I've yet to have enough positive comments to compare.
Thank you for your support and I wish the same for your brother.
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omgosh omgosh omgosh omgosh omgoooooooooooooooooooosh
you're ADORABLE!
Seriously, I find transguys really hot
You're so cute :3 <3333 asdfdssfa
date me please ;-;
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Aww thanks
Sorry dear I only like guys and I'm happily taken c:
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Awww but you're so cute :c
your bf is lucky haha
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I'm not cute I'm manly as fuck jk c:
Hehe he is, I'm lucky to have his support for 5+ years
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Dammit, I wish we just switch bodies :c
Would be so much easier..
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I have yet to come out to my family, but I told my best friend and she basically told me "You can't be genderfluid you're the girliest girl I know!"
Sure she apologized and realized how her words hurt, but still got me.
I really like this, you're sending a good message here!
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People don't seem to understand the difference between gender expression and gender identity.
Thank you!
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You know.. Before I reead your story I watched an episode of Cold Case, where something similliar happend...
she was forced to become something she didn't want to be...
But whatever happens stay yourself! I'm rooting for you. Don't change for anyone.
I got your back..
And if you ever need me to put a fist in someone's face, Just call me.Β
Cause we live in the 21st century (I think.. Never ask what date it is to me) And it's about time, Everyone got excepted!
P.S. and besides that.. You are a verry talented artist!, Y'know I could use a teacher. ^^
Sincerely Matt. ^-^
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Thanks for your support.
Thanks for the offer but I'd prefer to settle things without that c:
Aww thanks again, but I can't teach c: it's all practice!
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I'm happy to have your back!
Yeah.. I know.. but people like that deserve a punch..
I'd be happy to protect you Onii! π
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Words hurt.
I hope your family comes 'round to who you are.Β
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I hope so too.
Some of them told extended family (despite asking not to) and their reaction was "makes no difference to us."
Still got tons of "niece" birthday cards though..
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That's not too bad a reaction from the extended families.
I know its nothing like the same, but I get birthday cards sent to me with my husband's last name instead of mine - I never took his name when we got married - everyone knows this, but they still send them.
I think some people are just caught up in tradition, and just forget.
I hope everything works out for you. I don't know if this would help (and I'm sorry if I'm butting in unwanted), but there's a journalist who works for the Guardian newspaper. Fred has been detailing his journey through transition, it's been quite an interesting read (from a cis point of view).
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This sort of thing drives me crazy, mostly because in no shape way or form can I understand why people can't get passed their ignorance and intolerance and accept others for who they are. I grew up in a very forward thinking non-religous household, when I came to the conclusion that I was pansexual I was greeted with an "oh, that's nice" and life went on because my family understood that this wasn't something new, but something that had been part of me for my whole life even if I hadn't always been aware of it. I just can't understand how anyone couldn't see that, and even more it drives me crazy how people can't see what an honour it is to be trusted with this sort of thing. Coming out to someone is proof that you trust and respect them, not an open season for them to be an asshole.Β
Because I never got a backlash from my coming out I really don't have any advice, but I'll tell you this, you are who you are no matter what any idiot or ignorant fool says. You are a guy and anyone who says otherwise needs a realty check. Β
I am honoured to be part of the DeviantArt Community you trust with your struggle. Good luck and never give up.
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Thank you so much for your support and kind words.
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I'm happy you're glad and porud of who you are.
But I am sorry that you have to put up with these pathetic cuntnuggets.
UGH
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Thanks for your support.
It's tough but I'm not going down without a fight.
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Yeah, this is the sort of response I got from my parents. I know what you're going through.
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Sorry to hear you've had the same.
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Now I wanna make something like this, since I'm going through simaler shiz. :/
Would you be alright with me drawing something in simaler format? I'd attribute the inspiration to you, of course. :3
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Sorry to hear you're going through this stuff too.
By all means, go ahead and do your own version.
Please link when you're done!
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I feel like I didn't do it justice. OTL
akatsukiloverxdx3.deviantart.cβ¦
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Cheers for sharing bro c:
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HERE HERE!
Stick it to 'em, dude.
Its tough when people don't accept you or understand but I'm super glad you're not giving up!
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Thanks for your support.
Nothing or no one will make me give up.
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Dear lords I hate people alot sometimes. Though it's awesome that you're hanging in there!Β
Did they actually say that? If they did they're disgusting creatures that are very, very wrong.Β
Why can't I just be a mushroom? Those have more then fourteen different genders, and they don't care, a mushroom is a mushroom.
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Thanks for your support.
They did indeed, everything written in the picture was said right to my face.
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Hey I know it's hard to come out when you have hate that may never get better.
But then you realize
Kanji is a girl trapped in a guy's body, and everybody accepts him.
You used to be a guy trapped in a really feminine body, but look at you now. It's like you were a male to begin with!
Things will get better, I promise.
I have a trans friend (Female to male, like you) and he's doing fine, although he does get hate sometimes.
I'll always be here for you.
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Thanks for your support.
But let me just say Kanji is not a transwoman. He says multiple times he is a man/is manly/wishes to become a better man etc. He likes stereotypically feminine things but this doesn't make him trans.
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Yeah I know about kanji. I was just saying it because Kanji is just the most amazing persona character so far.
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Yes he is amazing but that's no reason to blindly misgender him as a "woman trapped in a man's body."
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Yeah that's true. I do have some misgendering problems right now because of my trans friend who I've known as female for so long.
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Well maybe you should practice not doing so; for his sake.
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I've been trying. You have no idea how many times I've corrected myself.
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Glad you aren't giving up, don't listen to what anyone says, you are who you are and nothing will change that, and you should keep on pursuing and striving to get what you want to feel like you're yourself if that makes sense. And I'm sure everyone that actually gives aΒ f*!k would understand, and support you all the way.Β You can count on me for 110% support, and I loveΒ you for being youΒ <3
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Nothing and no one can make me change my mind <3
Thank you forΒ all your support through the years darling <3
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