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Description
The doctor found me sobbing in Shane's room.

"I'm terribly sorry. But there wasn't much we could do. Keeping him on life support would only have elongated his life by a few days, and even then he would be suffering. My condolences."
"It's ok. Everybody's gotta die sometime, right?"
"I suppose so. Were you close?"

I choked.

"Yes. Very close."
"I'm sorry you had to lose him like this. I can see he meant a lot to you."
"Really? How can you tell?"
"If he was just a friend you would have stopped crying by now."

The doctor gave a slight smile and patted my shoulder before exiting the room. I shuffled a little closer to Shane's bed and took hold of his hand.

It felt different holding his hand now. When he was in the coma, I could feel the warmth of his skin and the pulse beating in his palm. I knew he was alive. This time, I felt nothing. I gripped his stiff hand in mine and let tears drip onto it.

"Would you believe after all this, I'm still the one holding your hand. I'll never hold anyone's hand like I held yours, Shane. Just like I'll never love anyone else the way I love you."

I leant forward and kissed his forehead, stroking the hair out of his face.

"Goodnight Shane."

Somehow I found a way to blame myself for Shane's death. If I had admitted my feelings sooner, we would probably have been cuddling on my bunk when we crashed. Shane wouldn't have been crushed, his memory would be intact and he wouldn't be lying dead on a mourgutary table. It was my own stupid fault for being a coward. And now I couldn't have him at all.

Kier blamed himself too. He said if he had swerved quicker the lorry wouldn't have hit us in the first place. I told him he couldn't have helped it.

Shane's funeral was a week later. I sat at the back of the church, drifting in and out of focus. I didn't really pay attention to the ceremony. Partly because it was all pointless and stupid and 'couldn't we just put him in the fricking ground already'. But also because I didn't want to accept what was happening. I didn't want to have to believe he was gone.

Everyone gave speeches, and everyone cried. Luke, Laurence and Kier all went up together, huddling close and holding each other's hands for support while they spoke. Kier barely finished his speech before he was crying too hard to talk. After they all finished, Laurence took him aside and held him while he cried. They sat back down and gave the signal that it was my turn.

I walked slowly up to the altar, my footsteps echoing unpleasantly loudly on the stone floor. I cleared my throat and braced myself.

"Shane Sumner was my best friend. But he was more than that. He was one of the greatest people I've ever met. He made me laugh, he was sweet, and he made me feel so loved when I was around him. He lit up a room with his bright personality and even brighter smile. When he lost his memory, we all though we'd lost him completely. We wanted him back to how he was. But it turns out he was still the same person, just with a few bits missing. I can try to forget him like he forgot everything, but some things simply can't be forgotten. He's one of them. My best friend, my soulmate. My love, my forever. My Shane."

Description
The doctor found me sobbing in Shane's room.

"I'm terribly sorry. But there wasn't much we could do. Keeping him on life support would only have elongated his life by a few days, and even then he would be suffering. My condolences."
"It's ok. Everybody's gotta die sometime, right?"
"I suppose so. Were you close?"

I choked.

"Yes. Very close."
"I'm sorry you had to lose him like this. I can see he meant a lot to you."
"Really? How can you tell?"
"If he was just a friend you would have stopped crying by now."

The doctor gave a slight smile and patted my shoulder before exiting the room. I shuffled a little closer to Shane's bed and took hold of his hand.

It felt different holding his hand now. When he was in the coma, I could feel the warmth of his skin and the pulse beating in his palm. I knew he was alive. This time, I felt nothing. I gripped his stiff hand in mine and let tears drip onto it.

"Would you believe after all this, I'm still the one holding your hand. I'll never hold anyone's hand like I held yours, Shane. Just like I'll never love anyone else the way I love you."

I leant forward and kissed his forehead, stroking the hair out of his face.

"Goodnight Shane."

Somehow I found a way to blame myself for Shane's death. If I had admitted my feelings sooner, we would probably have been cuddling on my bunk when we crashed. Shane wouldn't have been crushed, his memory would be intact and he wouldn't be lying dead on a mourgutary table. It was my own stupid fault for being a coward. And now I couldn't have him at all.

Kier blamed himself too. He said if he had swerved quicker the lorry wouldn't have hit us in the first place. I told him he couldn't have helped it.

Shane's funeral was a week later. I sat at the back of the church, drifting in and out of focus. I didn't really pay attention to the ceremony. Partly because it was all pointless and stupid and 'couldn't we just put him in the fricking ground already'. But also because I didn't want to accept what was happening. I didn't want to have to believe he was gone.

Everyone gave speeches, and everyone cried. Luke, Laurence and Kier all went up together, huddling close and holding each other's hands for support while they spoke. Kier barely finished his speech before he was crying too hard to talk. After they all finished, Laurence took him aside and held him while he cried. They sat back down and gave the signal that it was my turn.

I walked slowly up to the altar, my footsteps echoing unpleasantly loudly on the stone floor. I cleared my throat and braced myself.

"Shane Sumner was my best friend. But he was more than that. He was one of the greatest people I've ever met. He made me laugh, he was sweet, and he made me feel so loved when I was around him. He lit up a room with his bright personality and even brighter smile. When he lost his memory, we all though we'd lost him completely. We wanted him back to how he was. But it turns out he was still the same person, just with a few bits missing. I can try to forget him like he forgot everything, but some things simply can't be forgotten. He's one of them. My best friend, my soulmate. My love, my forever. My Shane."