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CallistoHime — Time Cannot Erase Revamp Ch 1
Published: 2008-07-25 23:07:12 +0000 UTC; Views: 9485; Favourites: 49; Downloads: 40
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Time Cannot Erase: RevampIn a lifetime made of memories, I believe in destiny
Every moment returns again in time
When I've got the future on my mind
Know that we are the timeless ones
Meet me halfway
Across the sky
Out where the world belongs to only you and I
Make this a new beginning of another life
~Kenny Loggins “Meet Me Halfway”
Chapter 1
A New Beginning
Zelda shut her eyes against the darkness, blocking out the devastation that lay all around her. She didn’t want to see any more destruction; no crumbled stones, no fallen pillars or billows of smoke and ash that blocked out the sunlight and left the world in eternal night.
Even when she closed her eyes, she could still feel him beside her. The life that radiated from his spirit flowed into her own, bringing a sense of calm that nothing else in the world could. She breathed him in and memorized this feeling – the pure, unadulterated tranquility that she knew could not last.
The clouds above her head began to part, allowing the first rays of sunshine to break through the shadows. She blinked beneath the soft, peachy glow of the light seeping into her lids, and inhaled deeply.
“It’s over,” the princess sighed. She tipped her head back to let the sunlight dance over her skin. She could feel the darkness fading from the world around her, washing seven years of fear and pain from her body.
“Link.” She opened her eyes and turned to the boy, a man now, who stood just feet away. Zelda gazed into his clear, blue eyes, and her stomach lurched. “It’s finally over.”
“With Ganondorf gone, we can begin rebuilding Hyrule.” Link hesitated momentarily. “Together.” His chin dropped slightly, though his gaze never faltered. “I would be honored if you would allow me to help you, Princess.”
“Link, I….” But her voice quickly faded.
As children they once could stand comfortably at one another’s side. Now, his very presence set her heart fluttering. So much had changed since the first time they met. The Link she knew then had vanished. She could barely recognize the man that stood before her now as the little forest boy who had snuck into her garden to speak with her, so long ago.
They had endured so much together, but always apart. But he was here now, watching her closely, waiting….
After seven years of waiting, she finally stood beside him, able to speak to him again. But now she found that she could barely breathe. She had so much to say; so much she could never say.
“This is a new era for Hyrule,” Zelda finally managed, though she could already feel the tears stinging her eyes and burning her throat. “I…” she started, but the words caught in her throat. “Link, I’m so sorry.”
Link watched helplessly as tears began to trickle down her cheeks.
“Princess,” he said quietly, and took a step closer to her. “I don’t understand.”
“So much of this was my doing,” Zelda admitted. “I asked you to enter the Sacred Realm, and because of it Ganondorf stole the Triforce. You lost seven years of your life because of me. I have brought so much trouble and suffering into your life, but not only that. I nearly destroyed Hyrule.” She grimaced and turned away.
“You can’t blame yourself for that,” Link assured her. “Ganondorf has been destroyed and Hyrule can have peace, because of you.”
“Peace,” Zelda sighed.
Soon all peace would be irrevocably lost to her. Once she fulfilled her duty, she would never feel this way again. She would rather rip out her own soul than separate herself from him, but she could not think about herself any longer. When he left he would take her heart with him, though she could already feel it tearing to shreds within her.
“I am the Seventh Sage,” Zelda said, trying to sound more certain than she felt. “I am next in line to rule this land. It is my duty to ensure the safety of my people and protect the peace that you fought so hard to bring them. I will not let your sacrifice be in vain.”
Link continued to watch her carefully, though his fear and uncertainty showed clearly in his countenance.
“To ensure this world’s safety,” Zelda struggled through her reluctance to simply get each word out, “we must close this path of time. I – I have to send you back.”
“What?” Link asked with quiet disbelief. His eyebrows knit together almost imperceptibly, searching her face for an explanation. “You can’t mean that,” he added in earnest.
“It’s the only way,” she said. “You don’t belong here. I’ll send you back to your original time, your rightful time.”
Link’s face fell. “Oh. You don’t… you don’t need me anymore.”
“No,” she protested quickly. “Of course that’s not true.”
“Then let me stay,” Link rushed on in desperation. “Let me protect you.”
“Link,” Zelda whispered through her tears. She shut her eyes, hoping that if she could not see him, it would make it easier. “We can’t…”
“I don’t want to go back,” Link insisted. He grew more openly panicked by the second. “We belong here.”
Zelda forced herself to forge on, despite her wavering conviction. “The Master Sword must be returned and the Door of Time must be closed. You have to go back. It’s the only way,” she added, in an attempt to persuade not only Link but herself.
“Please, the Ocarina,” she asked quietly, though she could see his fists tighten in protest.
“Princess,” he nearly begged, “no.”
The sadness in his eyes only made the guilt inside of her more overwhelming. She didn’t mean to bring him more pain. He might not understand now, but she had no other choice.
“You didn’t deserve to have your life stolen from you,” Zelda went on. “You deserve another chance.”
“I have a chance here with you.” Link stopped and bit his tongue. He shifted nervously and turned his eyes back to the ground at her feet.
Zelda felt her heart skip a beat. She waited with bated breath for him to go on, but Link just looked back at her. She would have stayed locked in his silent gaze forever, but looking at him only renewed her desire to save him from her mistakes.
“Please, Link,” she pleaded. “Let me set this right.”
Link didn’t answer. He barely blinked as he stared back at her, but she could see the muscles in his hand relaxing.
“Please.”
His fingers twitched, and, slowly, he extended his hand.
Zelda reached out wordlessly and met him halfway. She placed her hand over the Ocarina and cupped her fingers around its smooth, convex surface. As she did so, her fingertips brushed against the exposed skin of his hands, so fleetingly that she could scarcely be sure it had happened but for the fire it sent coursing through her veins. Her hand lingered on the Ocarina for a moment, and she cupped his hand between both of hers.
The heat radiating from his skin tingled against hers as she pressed gently against the back of his hand. She stared down at her hands clasping his, in silence, for what seemed like an eternity. She couldn’t bring herself to let him go.
Her eyes moved from his hands, so rough and coarse, along his simply clad body. His heavily worn tunic stood as evidence the months of toil and pain he had endured because of her. Every bit of dirt, every tear in the cloth, every cut or scratch on his sun-beaten skin – they all belonged to her.
His eyes met hers, and she stood paralyzed. Her breath caught in her throat as she fought the urge to crumple at his feet. Though he continued to stand tall, she could see the weariness in his eyes, the price that he had paid to save her. She could see the pain so clearly, and she wanted nothing more than to erase it from him, to ease his burden the only way she knew how. That much she could do for him, no matter how much it hurt.
“I am so very sorry, Link.” A fresh shiver coursed through Zelda’s body. “You didn’t deserve the life I forced upon you.”
Link’s eyes softened. “It was my destiny to help you save Hyrule, but it was also my decision,” he said. “I made my choice. I fought for Hyrule, but I was fighting for you, Princess, because I – ”
Link cut himself off. Slowly, hesitantly, he lifted his free hand from his side. She could feel every beat of her heart pounding within her chest, sending the blood rushing to her face. A soft blush spread across her cheeks beneath his hand as his skin once more brushed against hers. His finger carefully wiped a tear from her eye.
Their gaze met for an instant, and Zelda’s heart went silent. He leaned in, almost imperceptibly, closer to her than he had ever been before. His eyes searched her face, and she tilted her head back, letting her hair spill down over her shoulders. She closed her eyes, reveling in the electricity that seemed to have replaced the blood in her veins. Never before had she stood in such terror, or such indescribable joy.
Her eyelids lifted and she found herself staring into his eyes. His hand touched her cheek again, and then dropped to his side. Her fingers fought to keep hold, but he slipped out of her grasp and left her standing with the Ocarina still clutched in her hands.
He took a step back, and the moment his boot hit the ground he fell to one knee and pressed his clenched fist to his heart. He knelt in silence, as still as stone, with his eyes glued to the ground at her feet.
Zelda drew the Ocarina up against her thundering chest. Still warm.
“I am the Hero of Time.” Link spoke in a voice clear and strong. “You must know that I will fight for you, Princess Zelda, no matter where or when or how I must. I will fight for Hyrule, and for you.”
Zelda looked down at him kneeling before her. She had never felt less worthy of such respect and devotion, especially from the Hero of Time. She drew closer to him once more and reached down to place her hand beneath his chin. A tingle rippled from her fingers, up her arm and through her entire body. Gently, she raised his chin, then took him by the arm to draw him to his feet.
Her chin quivered with emotion, but she fought to keep her composure. “I know you will,” she answered. “This isn’t the end, Link. We will – we will meet again.” Her voice cracked helplessly as she fought to believe her own lie.
Link nodded in resigned silence, though the grief in his eyes only deepened.
“Thank you.” She spoke softly. “For everything.”
His eyes lowered. He bent his head in a gentle bow, but made no reply.
Reluctantly, Zelda raised the Ocarina and closed her eyes. The first note rang out unsteadily from her lips, breaking the silence. As she played, the music swelled until it surrounded them, filling them from the inside out.
“Thank you, Link,” she whispered again.
Link’s feet lifted from the ground, and he rose up into the brightness above them. Zelda turned her gaze upwards and met his eyes one last time. She could still see his sorrow, his pain, and his unwavering devotion. In her heart she knew he did not want to go. Part of her wished that he had protested more, that he had refused to let her do this to him – to them. But he would never deny her. Not even in this.
Zelda’s fingers twitched and her hand jerked forward, reaching out to him, but she drew it back in. She clenched her fist and gripped the Ocarina more tightly – her last link to him, to the life she could have had. But no more. Time forced her to stand still and watch as he left her alone below.
She gazed up and watched as Link faded into the sun-lit sky, becoming one with the brightness. Already she felt empty, as though a part of her had just slipped away, and she had no way of ever getting it back.
“Goodbye.”
But he could not hear her.
Zelda took a shuddering breath and stared up in futility at the now empty sky.
Link…
The princess stood alone now, with nothing but the memory of her Hero left to hold her together. She shut her eyes against the glaring brightness. It washed over her, enveloping her completely, as it carried her away.
*****
Zelda cringed away from the cold pressing against her skin. Her fingers clenched, and her nails scraped along the polished stone beneath her. Strangely familiar, like something out of a dream. Darkness blanketed her eyes, and even when she blinked she couldn’t escape it.
She pressed her hand to her head and pushed herself from the floor. Squinting through the dim light, she blinked furiously. She had no doubt now; this must be a dream.
The princess turned her head, and her eyes flew open in shock. Her heart pounded and she scrambled to her feet, unable to believe her eyes. She knew this place: from the stone walls to the tiled floor, from the bed beneath the window down to every last stitch in the fabric – she knew it.
Her room. The room she had grown up in. The room she had last seen burning to the ground as she fled for her life, seven years ago.
A small shaft of light trickled in through the window, and she rushed forward. Straining on the tips of her toes, she peered up over the window sill. Her eyes darted about, and she tried to understand. The sound of her own sharp breathing carried to her ears.
Parapets of white stone rose up before her eyes. The extensive lawn, lush and green, furled out before her, rolling all the way to the outer gate. Trees swayed in the breeze, and the sunlight danced on the surface of the moat, making the water sparkle, clear and blue.
No crumbled ruins. No tower of darkness. No pit of fire boiling in the midst of a field of desolate destruction.
Soldiers milled about on the grounds, taking the place of the rotting, undead corpses which she had last seen there.
Hyrule castle stood around her: whole, unblemished and full of life.
Zelda put a hand to her brow and backed away in confusion. This simply couldn’t be happening. She stumbled over her own footsteps and backed into her bureau. The wood shuddered, and she turned with a start.
A ray of light caught across the surface of her mirror, and her own reflection glinted into view. Zelda gazed into the eyes looking back at her, and choked back a scream. She retreated in horror, but the wide, blue eyes of the child in the glass stayed locked on her own.
Taking another step back, she looked down at her body, and her stomach lurched painfully.
Zelda’s eyes jumped back to the mirror, and she watched herself inside the glass. Her little chest heaved with each breath. A short, lightly rounded hand touched her cheek, then the reflection before her.
A child.
She tore her eyes away and flew to the door. Her hand grasped the knob and she wrenched it open, nearly throwing it off of its hinges.
Zelda flew down the stairs and into the corridor beyond. Ignoring the glances from passing soldiers, she sprinted ahead, taking it all in. The wide, spacious halls opened before her, just as she remembered them. Every detail restored, as though it had never gone – as though she had never left. As though the last seven years had never happened.
“Father,” Zelda gasped, and she vanished from the spot.
She rematerialized in the midst of her father’s throne room, but he was not there. The room lay empty before her. Her mind raced, overcome by the fear that she was still too late to save him. Clinging to her last bit of hope, she vanished again. Before her feet hit solid ground, she could hear the sound of voices crying out in alarm.
Zelda bent low, tensing instinctively. Her eyes narrowed and darted from side to side, taking stock of her new surroundings. A sea of faces looked up at her, riddled with disbelief. Her father’s council stared in shock at the sight of their princess sitting crouched in the middle of their table.
“Zelda?”
Her stomach plummeted, and her heart went still at the sound of a voice she thought she would never hear again.
Zelda turned, keeping low to the ground, and her eyes fell upon her father. He gaped at her in disbelief. His jaw hung open, and though he tried to speak, he could manage nothing more than a voiceless rasping.
He stood up from his chair, and the room fell silent around him. Zelda straightened, standing up to her full height. She barely registered the dozen faces staring at her, or the fact that she was standing in the center of the long table. When she gazed across the room, she could think of nothing but the face looking back at her from his seat.
“Father?” she whispered. Her voice caught, but she pushed on. “You’re alive…”
“Zelda.” King Harkinian’s eyes narrowed and he glanced from side to side in growing agitation. “Get down from there at once!” he hissed.
“Father,” Zelda pleaded. Ignoring the flames in his eyes and the darkening red flush on his cheeks, she walked forward. “You must get out – now, before it’s too late!”
The council members looked to each other in growing confusion, though no one spoke.
“Ganondorf is not who you think he is, Father. His allegiances do not lie with Hyrule. Everything he has told you is a lie. He is planning to betray you, at this very moment.”
“Ganondorf?” The muttered name darted across the room as the eyes of the nobles looked on.
“He is planning your murder, Father. He wants nothing less than Hyrule at his mercy. You must stop him!”
“Zelda.” Her father’s eyes bulged, and he shook with fury as he tried to speak. “I will not hear another word from your impertinent little mouth. You are making a mockery of this council and yourself. Get down!”
“No,” Zelda protested. “I know you don’t believe me, but you must listen to me. Ganondorf is – ”
“I do not know anyone by that name,” the King snarled.
“He is the leader of the Gerudos,” she went on frantically. “The man who has – ”
“Nabooru has been replaced?” A cry went up from the council, and voices rose in a sudden uproar.
“Your Majesty, why were we not informed?”
“If this council is kept in the dark, how are we to – ”
“Silence!” Harkinian roared. Zelda jumped then stood frozen before him, and a hush fell over the room.
“My daughter,” Harkinian seethed as he looked to the members of the council for understanding, “is confused.”
“No, I’m not, Father!” Zelda marched forward, closing the distance between them. “Your life is in danger, you must – ”
Zelda’s strangled cry filled the room as her father’s hand closed around her arm. With one powerful motion, he jerked her from the table. She stumbled, and would have fallen but for her father’s iron grip around her arm. Zelda dangled before him, trying to gather her balance, but her pulled her forward roughly and forced her to look him in the eyes.
“You are an embarrassment.” A low growl rumbled in his throat. “I’ll not hear another word from you.”
“But, Father.” Zelda choked on a sob, and felt hot tears welling in her eyes. “I’m only trying to – ”
He struck across her face with the back of his hand. She hung limply in his arm, dazed into silence. Her head spun and stars blinked in her eyes as her mind slowly began to register the pain.
Harkinian pulled her closer once more, his eyes dark and livid. “Get out of my sight.”
He released her so violently she stumbled to the ground and lay in a trembling heap. Tears spilled from her eyes as she looked up at her father, who hovered over her as though daring her to speak again.
“Get out,” he commanded.
She bit her lip and shut her eyes, turning her face to the floor.
“That’s what you get for keeping a Sheikah in the castle.” The muttered words hit Zelda’s ears, sending a fresh wave of disgrace through her, and a flash of defiance.
One look up at her father’s face, and Zelda could take no more. As quickly as she had appeared, the princess vanished, leaving no trace behind.
The second her feet hit solid ground, she took off running. Tears blurred her eyes as she pushed her way blindly down the corridor.
“Pardon me, Princess,” a passing soldier apologized when Zelda bumped into his legs. She hurried on without looking back.
Not knowing where she was headed, she rounded the corner and ran headlong into someone else. Without looking up, Zelda tried to push past, but they caught her by the arm.
“Let me go!” Zelda tensed, ready to attack.
“Princess, what’s the matter?”
Zelda’s heart flipped at the sound of the familiar voice.
“Impa!” She turned, and threw her arms around her nurse, hugging her close.
Impa knelt down and peered into her face. Her enigmatic eyes softened, and she spoke gently. “What’s wrong, my dear?”
Zelda’s fingers crept to her throbbing cheek, and she shut her eyes, reigning in her emotions.
“I’m sorry, Impa,” she apologized, and forced her voice to steady. “You taught me better than to show weakness like this.”
The corners of Impa’s eyes twitched, but she said nothing.
“I should have known,” Zelda said quietly. “I should have known he wouldn’t believe me.”
“We’ve talked about this, Princess,” Impa replied. “Your father may not believe your dreams now, but - ”
“He has to believe me,” Zelda’s grip on Impa’s shoulders tightened, “before it’s too late. Ganandorf will strike any day.”
Zelda stopped. She could already see the question brewing behind her nursemaid’s eyes.
“Ganondorf?” Impa questioned.
“Yes, Ganondorf.”
“Princess, you will have to explain a little more clearly. We don’t all have your gift of foresight.”
“You don’t – ” Zelda stuttered. “You don’t remember?”
“Remember what, Princess?”
Impa watched with growing concern as Zelda backed out of her arms.
“Princess,” Impa called her back, but Zelda continued her retreat.
“You don’t remember,” Zelda whispered to herself.
“Have you seen something?” Impa asked, but before the question left her lips Zelda had disappeared into thin air.
Link.
Once more Zelda felt herself rematerialize as her feet touched down on soft grass. The castle gardens stood empty around her, and she paused for a moment, taking in the long-forgotten sight.
Her garden, her sanctuary. The one place she had always felt safe, and at home. It stood in place now, as quiet, beautiful, and empty as she could remember.
A muffled sound came from behind, and she whirled on the spot.
“Link?” she called, staring hopefully through the archway, but he was not there.
She could still remember the first time she had seen him. Zelda closed her eyes, wishing that when she opened them, he would somehow reappear. But he didn’t.
With a sinking in her heart, she turned back to the castle, and the window there, at the top of the steps. Her feet carried her forward, up the stairs, across the platform. She stopped, already fighting her thundering pulse.
Zelda placed her hands on the stone ledge, and looked in through the glass. Her father’s throne room stood as empty as before. No sentinels, no armed guards. No Ganondorf darkening her father’s hall.
Zelda’s fleeting twinge of triumph faded before it had a chance to take hold. Ganondorf’s very existence seemed to have been erased from time. Everything had changed, and everyone had forgotten – everyone but her.
But Zelda could still remember, all too clearly, the darkness he had wrought upon her world for seven long years. Seven years of war and bloodshed. She closed her eyes and tried to forget, but her mind’s eye filled with visions of black smoke, demonic beasts, and a dark King bent on her destruction. Even when she opened her eyes, the sight of her garden held no comfort. She could still see it all as it had once been, and though she tried to fight it back, the pain lingered just below the surface.
It worked, she silently reassured herself. Hyrule is safe. Link and I succeeded. That’s all that matters.
All that matters…
Zelda leaned her head against the cold window pane, staring into the darkened, empty throne room beyond. Her breath fogged the glass, and she shut her eyes once more, fighting back an unwanted rush of tears.
Link…
***
The haze of white began to fade from around Link’s body, contracting into a brilliant pillar above his head. The weightlessness left him, and his feet touched down on solid ground. As the beam of light closed over him, his eyes adjusted to the dimly lit room around him. A small shaft of sunlight streaming in from a window far above his head illuminated the high vaulted ceiling and extensive space around him.
Link squinted his eyes, trying to bring them into focus. He didn’t have to look down to recognize the strangely familiar sensation of being uncomfortably crammed back into the body of a child. He’d been back and forth so many times, it almost felt like home again. Almost.
As the light dimmed and his vision cleared, his eyes came to rest on the pillar that stood before him. The Master Sword stood, embedded in the stone, laid to rest for the final time. Just as Zelda had intended.
The soft light of his fairy drifted by overhead and reflected off of the cold steel of the holy blade, making it shine.
Link extended his hand, only briefly registering his thin, stubby fingers and the unusual shortness of his reach. His fingers stretched, longing to touch the handle of the Evil’s Bane one last time. He could still remember how it felt to wield it in battle, standing tall and proud, as the Hero of Time.
His fingers clenched, and his hand fell away.
“We’re back,” Link whispered, but his voice reverberated clearly off the stone walls.
“You did it, Link.” The little ball of light circled once around his head, then came to rest on his shoulder.
“We did it.” Link turned to her with a melancholy smile.
“We….” Her wings beat a gentle breeze against Link’s face.
“I couldn’t have done it without you.” Link turned back to the Master Sword, staring at it with growing sadness.
Navi landed on his shoulder with a sigh.
“Link….” She hesitated, and he felt a twinge of worry. “We did what we set out to do.”
Link held his breath, listening to the soft hint of sorrow in her voice.
“Then,” Link said slowly. “Where do we go from here?”
He felt the nearly imperceptible weight of the fairy leave his shoulder and she circled around to his face. Her wings beat furiously, but the light around her dimmed, just enough to let her features break through the brightness. Link met her tiny, sad eyes with a clench of fear. He knew he didn’t want to hear what she had to say.
“My time with you is over.” Navi spoke more gently than she ever had before. “I have to go back.”
“But,” Link stammered. “I’ll come with you.”
Navi smiled, showing two perfect rows of sharp, pearly teeth. She shook her head, not saying a word.
“Navi?” Link searched her face for comfort.
She leaned in closer, and kissed his cheek. A tingle of warm flowed over him, but she pulled away, and it vanished with her touch.
“But, Navi,” he pleaded. “What am I supposed to do now?”
“Goodbye, Link.” Navi drifted higher above him, letting the light of her wings burst with renewed intensity. She hovered a moment, looking down on him with pride.
“You’ll always be my hero.”
Her wings carried her higher and higher, towards the sunlit window. Link shielded his eyes against the brightness, and when he looked again she was gone.
“Navi?” His voice echoed forlornly through the open air.
He turned, searching frantically, though no trace of her remained.
“Wait…”
Link’s fingers twitched, and he reached out in vain. His eyes caught a glimmer of light and his heart leapt. The golden symbol still resided there, on the back of his hand. The Triforce of Courage glowed brightly before his eyes, still within him.
As his hand fell away, Link looked across the chamber to the open doorway leading to the Temple of Time. Slowly, he walked forward. His boots felt leaden beneath his feet, growing heavier with every step he took. The door loomed before him, the final gateway to the past – and the new world he would be a part of.
Link braced himself, and crossed the threshold.
The thick, stone doors creaked behind him, and the floor lurched beneath his feet. The rumbling sound of stone against stone shook through the high ceilings. Slowly, the Door of Time slid shut, and Link glanced back, watching as the slabs of stone collided, blocking the Master Sword from his view. With a final crash, the door sealed itself, and an eerie silence filled the Temple.
Link looked from the towering door to the Triforce gleaming above the archway. Even as he watched, the light from the emblem began to fade into cold, lifeless stone.
No light from the Triforce. No glint of steel from the sword in his hand. No dancing glow from a fairy bobbing at his shoulder. The entire Temple seemed to darken around him.
Link stepped down from the platform, and a strange weight settled in his stomach. One glance at the Pedestal of Time, and the feeling only worsened.
The Spiritual Stones no longer held their place there. In a burst of panic, Link searched his pockets, and withdrew a large emerald. He furrowed his brow, putting the pieces together. He looked from the Kokiri Emerald to the empty Pedestal, to the Door, shut and sealed behind him, to the faint golden triangle still glowing on the back of his hand.
Link turned on his heel and ran from the Temple, as fast as his short legs could carry him. He flew out the front doors, sparing a passing glance at the mountains in the distance. Death Mountain lay still. Blue sky stretched out overhead, no longer darkened by the black clouds of Ganondorf’s presence.
Link rounded the corner and entered the Castle Town Market, barely looking at where he was headed. He pushed his way roughly through the crowded streets. He ducked and weaved between the throng of bustling shoppers, receiving more than his share of surprised shouts and complaints along the way.
His eyes searched the white towers of the castle as he bounded up the familiar trail. Silently, carefully, he ducked behind the guards, scaled a vine-covered wall and snuck up the path.
She had to be there, waiting for him. Just like before. She knew he was coming. She had to know. His feet carried him forward, though his fear mounted with every step. He could remember every detail of this day, from so long ago – the day he had first laid eyes on the Princess of Hyrule.
A guard rounded the corner and Link ducked behind a bush. He waited, as still and silent as a shadow, until the threat passed, then he moved on.
She had sent him back for a reason. Surely she must know what to do next. He just needed to see her again, to bring some sort of clarity to the chaos coursing through him. As long as she remembered, everything would be fine. She had to remember.
If she doesn’t…
Link brushed the thought away, unwilling to let fear take hold. Destiny had called them together once, to stand and fight at each other’s side. Surely she had sent him back for a reason, and when he found her, she would tell him what to do. Zelda always knew what to do.
She had known him before they had ever met. He had dreamed of her just as she had dreamed of him; the boy with a fairy, and a strange green stone. Link’s heart clenched painfully, and he fingered the Emerald in his pocket, just to make sure it too had not vanished.
He ran past the sentinels, through the courtyard, and on to her garden. His heart beat faster as his boots pounded over the pavement.
Somewhere inside, he could still feel every step of his journey – every mile he had trod over the fields of Hyrule. His body still ached from never-ending battle, beaten down by a weariness that went far beyond physical pain. But if she remembered, he could find a way to bear it. Just like he always had. For her.
Link rounded the corner, and stopped. The Princess Zelda stood across the courtyard, gazing through a castle window. She remained still as he approached, slowly treading across the grass.
His boots padded softly, but as he drew near, he could see her stiffen. She turned to stare at him, her eyes wide with fright. Tears welled in their familiar blue depths, and for a moment they looked at each other in silence, neither daring to even breathe.
“Link?” she gasped.
The princess stepped forward, and Link fell to one knee.
“You came back?” she asked in shock.
“I made a promise, Princess.” Link bowed his head.
“You – ” Zelda whispered. “You remember me?”
Link gently lifted his chin, and looked up into her face. “I could never forget you.”
Zelda took a step forward, still staring at Link as though she couldn’t believe he was real. “Link… what happened?”
Link looked up, worried by the growing look of panic on her face.
“Princess – ”
“This is wrong.” Zelda pressed her hand to her forehead and sank to the ground. “It’s all wrong.”
“What’s wrong?” Link moved forward, reaching out to her.
“Impa doesn’t remember,” Zelda rushed, still looking past Link. “But you do, and I do.” She cupped both hands around her head, and leaned over her lap. “It wasn’t supposed to be this way.”
“But, Princess, it worked,” Link tried to comfort her. “We’ve gone back seven years. We can redo it all, and this time we won’t let Ganondorf – ”
“There is no Ganondorf,” Zelda replied blankly.
Link narrowed his eyes and watched her silently.
“He doesn’t seem to exist here. My father didn’t know him. No one knows him.”
“Then,” Link slowly perked up, with a glimmer of hope gleaming in his eyes, “you did it. You succeeded.”
“No,” Zelda said quietly, and he watched the tears beading in her eyes before she glanced down. “No, it wasn’t supposed to be this way!”
Zelda shot to her feet and Link followed. “Princess, wait. Please, I don’t understand!”
“Link.” Zelda turned and caught hold of his sleeves with her small hands. “I don’t know what to do.”
She searched his face, looking for a source of strength and comfort. Her mind barely registered the fact that she was staring at the face of a little boy – the same face she remembered from so long ago. In his eyes she could still see the Link she knew, the hero who had saved her. Still a man.
Zelda’s fingers tightened, her eyes never leaving his. Link flushed, and she felt warmth spread across her own cheeks.
“It’s all right, Princess,” Link said quietly. He raised his hand, and reached out, slowly, to touch her arm. “I’m here… I won’t leave you.”
“Link – ”
“Stop right there!”
Link and Zelda both jerked back, and twisted around to see a pair of guards rushing towards them with their spears drawn. Link’s sword flashed and he threw himself between Zelda and the oncoming threat. He planted his feet and bared his teeth, glaring up at the men with all of the threat he could muster.
“Drop your sword, kid,” the approaching soldier ordered.
“Princess, His Majesty has ordered us to fetch you. He wants to see you immediately.”
“My father?” Zelda took a step back, her eyes widening with fear.
“You’re to come with us,” he said firmly, and he reached out to take hold of her arm.
“No!” She jerked away.
Link’s eyes flamed and he flew forward in attack, releasing a cry of rage.
The soldier drew his sword and blocked Link’s strike with ease. Link’s Kokiri sword swung, beating against the much larger blade of the guard.
“What is this?” the second guard chuckled, watching the duel with amusement.
“Little street urchin’s got a temper,” the first man sneered as he blocked another hit.
Link screamed again and attacked with a furious spinning strike. His small sword swung short, only just catching against the tip of the guard’s weapon. Thrown off balance, Link fought to keep his feet, but the soldier swung out and jabbed Link in the back with the blunt end of his spear. The boy staggered and fell to the ground.
He tried to recover his weapon, but the second guard moved too fast. The man lifted the sword out of his reach, even as Link shot to his feet and leapt after the blade.
“Subdue him,” the guard grumbled, as Link lunged at his stomach and attempted to wrestle him to the ground.
The second soldier rushed forward and caught Link’s slim wrist, jerking him back. He twisted Link’s arm, pinning it behind his back so roughly that Link grunted in pain.
“Let go of me!” he growled.
“Come on,” the soldier ordered gruffly, dragging Link’s feet along the ground. “You’re trespassing here – behave yourself or it’s the dungeon for you, boy.”
Despite the threat, Link continued to thrash in the guard’s arm.
“Zelda!” he called after her, as he struggled to get free.
“Link!” Zelda screamed, then she turned to the guards. “Let him go, immediately!
But no one seemed to be paying attention. The commotion soon drew the attention of another set of soldiers standing nearby, and they rushed around the corner, with their weapons raised.
“What’s the problem here?” one of the new arrivals asked.
“Help me!” Link’s captor demanded.
“Who is he?” Two new guards stepped up, grabbing hold of Link and fighting to keep him still.
“Just some kid, sneaking in to see the princess.”
Link twisted violently, and nearly broke free, but the guards fell on him once more, and kept him under wraps.
“Get him out of here!” one of the soldiers shouted.
“Let him go!” Zelda ordered, marching forward.
The nearest soldier stepped in front of her, blocking her way. She craned her neck up to glare at his face.
“Release him!” she commanded once more.
“Did he hurt you, Princess?” The soldier knelt down to her height.
“No!” Zelda shouted back. “Link would never – ”
“Come with me, then,” he broke over her. Wrapping his large hand around her arm, he stood up and pulled her forward. “His Majesty wishes to see you, immediately.”
Zelda’s heart clenched, and her feet carried her forward, pulled by the power of the soldier forcing her to walk.
“Zelda!” She could hear Link’s muffled cry as the throng of soldier’s dragged him around the corner, and out of the garden.
“You will let me go!” Zelda jerked her arm free, and the soldier stared down at her in shock.
“Princess, what has gotten into you?”
“You let him go!” she demanded, growing more frantic by the second. “He’s the Hero of Time, and you must let him go right now!”
“We can’t allow villagers to just sneak into the castle. We’re simply following orders, Princess. Now, come with me.”
“I will not.” She stepped back out of his reach. Her heart hammered against her chest with such fury that she began to shake.
Zelda looked up at the massive stone walls that rose up around her, closing her in on every side. The sky shone, bright and blue above her head, and she squinted her eyes against the glaring sunlight. But as she cast her eyes away, she could see nothing but stone again, on all sides.
She spun in her heel, trying to get to Link, but the soldier caught hold of her once more and pulled her closer.
Panic seized her and before she consciously made the decision, she vanished. The soldier’s hand squeezed down around nothing, and Zelda was gone.
She rematerialized just beyond the gates of the castle. The princess glanced around to take stock of her surroundings before she teleported again. Landing high on a ledge overlooking the guard tower, she crouched in the grass and waited.
Before long she spotted the mob of guards, still struggling with great difficulty to keep Link subdued. The gate clamored open, and they tossed the boy out into the dirt.
“Don’t let us catch you here again,” a soldier threatened, and he threw Link’s sword down in a cloud of dust beside him.
Link glowered up at the guards, gritting his teeth and seething in the dirt. He shot up, still fuming, and snatched his sword from the ground. Zelda watched closely as Link stomped around the corner of the path marched right up to the side of the leafy cliff. He took a fistful of the thick vine and hoisted himself up the wall.
Zelda teleported again, and landed at the base of the cliff, just below him.
“Link,” she called, quietly enough not to be heard by the guards around the bend.
Link jumped in shock, loosened his grip and tumbled to the ground with a soft fwump.
“Ow,” he muttered, rubbing his tailbone. He looked up and spotted her, and he shot to his feet. “Princess!”
“Link, are you all right?” she asked hurriedly.
“I’m fine, I was just – ” he motioned to the vine. “Coming back for you.”
Zelda glanced from the distant towers of the castle back to Link. “Maybe you shouldn’t,” she replied softly. “Not now…”
Link’s expression fell, but Zelda went on.
“Link, I sent you back to give you another chance at your life. Maybe you should just go home.”
Link’s eyes twitched with pain. “Home?”
“Back to your forest, where you belong. Back where you came from… where you would have stayed, if I hadn’t caused all this trouble.”
“But, I – ”
“If Ganondorf really is gone, then you were right. We did what we set out to do. Hyrule is safe. You can go home.” She glanced up to meet his eyes, and forced a melancholy smile across her lips.
Link nodded slowly, and his eyes fell down to the ground. “Oh,” he whispered. “I see.”
“This is what we wanted, isn’t it?” She craned her neck to look at his face.
“Yes,” Link replied, taking a steadying breath. “Peace… it’s what we wanted.”
Zelda tried to reply, but the words caught in her throat and she settled for silence.
“Then, I guess,” Link forced out in an unrecognizably strained voice, “this is goodbye.”
Zelda froze, and Link turned away so quickly that she barely had time to respond.
“Link, wait!” she called after him, and he stopped, barely twisting his chin back.
“Will you come back to see me?” she asked timidly.
Link turned fully, and asked just as unsurely, “Would you like me to?”
“Yes.” She smiled.
“Of course, Princess.” He bowed politely. His lips twitched, as though he was going to speak, but he simply turned away.
“Goodbye,” Zelda called softly.
Link turned back, still walking away. He raised his hand and smiled sadly. “Goodbye, Princess.”
She watched him vanish down the path, winding his way into the distant streets of the Market and out of sight.
Zelda’s throat tightened, and she didn’t want to move. Even after he had gone she stared after him, not sure where to go or what to do.
A cry rang out from the guard tower. Zelda pressed herself against the cliff wall and stealthily craned her neck around the corner, listening to the growing ruckus at the gate.
“She vanished – just disappeared into thin air!” a soldier cried.
“What, like that Sheikah nurse of hers?”
“Exactly.”
“How’d the princess learn to do that?”
“Beats me, but the King’s livid over it. He’s sent out an emergency order to scour the castle, the market – everywhere – and bring her home, immediately.”
“I’ll get my men on it.”
Zelda ducked back behind the rock wall, feeling her pulse quicken. The sounds of armor clanging and soldiers jumping in to action sounded at the nearby tower, and she knew it was only a matter of time. She’d never seen her father this angry before – angry enough to strike her.
The little princess rubbed her swollen cheek, still tender beneath her touch, and the tears threatened to spill over her eyes. Not waiting for them to round the corner and find her, she vanished once more, leaving them all behind.
Her feet touched down on the slanted tiles of a roof overlooking the market. Crowds of shoppers milled about below her, visiting their last shops for the day. She watched the people go by, completely unaware of their princess, crouched in the shadows far above their heads.
Zelda teleported again, landing in the wide expanse of Hyrule field. The warm breeze and the smell of the grass filled her like a long forgotten memory. Looking across the sea of golden grass, she could still see how it had once looked, burned and dead, infested with monsters, with an omnipresent blanket of black clouds looming overhead. She could barely remember the sounds of birds, or the feeling of the gentle wind across her face.
For seven years she had longed to see Hyrule return to this state, but now she found it nearly unbearable. She shut her eyes and vanished again, teleporting to the peaks of Death Mountain. Zelda stopped at a familiar ledge, and let herself sink to the ground.
The last time she had stood on this spot, she had been waiting in the guise of Sheik to guide Link into the Fire Temple. She had followed him across Hyrule, looking forward with such anticipation to every moment she could spend in his presence.
Each time, she chose her words with care, never letting him know her true identity but always hoping, somehow, to let him know that she was still with him.
“It is something that grows over time… a true friendship. A feeling in the heart that becomes even stronger over time. The passion of friendship will soon blossom into a righteous power and through it, you will know which way to go….”
Seven years, yet they had had such a short time together. When she closed her eyes, she could still feel the heat of the volcano all around her. But when she opened them, everything had changed, back into a world in which she no longer had a place.
With her legs curled up to her chest, she sat, looking over the wide view. All of Hyrule seemed to open up before her, glowing warmly beneath the setting sun. But the longer she sat, and the longer she looked, the more it broke her heart.
When she looked, she could still only see destruction. For seven years she wandered through Hyrule, from the highest mountain to the deepest forest to the most desolate deserts – paving the way for Link’s return, and helping him along on his quest. For seven years, he slept, but she had been forced to live through it, day by day. She had watched her people die, seen their cities destroyed and watched the evil of Ganondorf’s reign creep over every inch of her kingdom and beyond.
Even when she closed her eyes, she could still see it. She could still feel it.
The sun sank, blood-red beneath the horizon, and still Zelda did not move. Far off, the white towers of her castle rose into the sky, but she couldn’t bring herself to go back.
It didn’t seem real. It couldn’t be possible. Being back in this life, forced to relive it all, felt like an inescapable nightmare.
Zelda stared at the distant towers, and the lump in her throat began to burn. Slowly, the tears spilled over her eyes, and she cried in silence while night fell upon her.
“There you are.”
Zelda jumped, and spun, squatting low to the ground with every muscle in her body tensed. She looked up into the shadows of the rock, and took a gasping breath.
“Impa?” she panted quietly.
Impa moved forward, stepping out into the quickly fading light.
“Princess,” Impa looked down, and Zelda saw her eyebrows knit together slightly. “How did you get up here?”
“I teleported,” Zelda replied, and she slowly sank back to the ground.
“I see.” Impa moved closer. “Where did you learn to do that?”
Zelda felt her throat catch. “You taught me.”
Impa didn’t reply, but Zelda knew the look of intense contemplation on her face all too well.
Zelda sighed and turned away with a fresh surge of tears.
“You don’t remember,” she whispered.
“Remember what, Princess?”
Zelda couldn’t answer. A hot stream of tears rolled down her cheek and she buried her face on her knees.
“I suppose you’re here to take me home.”
“I’m here because I’m worried about you. You’re not acting like yourself.”
“Myself?” Zelda’s voice trembled, and she tipped her face to hide a sob.
“My dear, what’s wrong?” Impa knelt down beside her, and lifted the tiny face of the princess. She looked into the little girl’s eyes with loving concern. “What happened?”
Zelda sniffed lightly as Impa wiped the tears from beneath her eyes.
“Do you remember my dream?” Zelda asked quietly.
“Of course, Princess.”
“Would you believe me if I told you that it came true?”
Zelda waited a moment, but no change showed in Impa’s face.
“Hyrule was destroyed by the dark King, but the boy from the forest, he came, just like I knew he would. He saved me. He awakened the seven Sages along with you, the Sage of Shadows. We fought together and helped Link fulfill his destiny to save Hyrule. Together, we – we made things right again, the way they should be.” Zelda swallowed with difficulty. “And then we came back – back seven years.”
“I’m not sure I understand,” Impa said, keeping her voice calm and even.
“But you do believe me?” Zelda asked in earnest.
“I would never doubt you.”
“But you don’t remember any of it… do you?”
Impa hesitated a moment, never taking her eyes from Zelda’s face. “No, Princess.”
“No one does,” Zelda looked away, trying to keep her voice steady. “But, I suppose that’s the way it should be… it’s what I wanted. To give everyone a second chance. I just thought that – ”
She tilted her head back, and blinked furiously, staring up at the stars.
“I was wrong,” she whispered.
Impa leaned forward and gently smoothed back the princess’ hair.
“It’s all wrong.” Zelda shut her eyes and her shoulders quivered.
Impa extended her arms and Zelda folded into her nurse’s embrace. Her small fingers clutched at Impa’s shoulders, and Zelda sobbed into her neck.
“It wasn’t supposed to be this way, Impa,” the little girl cried. “I wasn’t supposed to remember.”
*****
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Comments: 231
So beautiful... i cant even describe it... just..... wow........ you're amazing.....
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I read both beginning parts and I think by far this is my favorite. It's more realistic than the original and shows a lot more detail and maturity. Very good!
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Are you ever going to do anything with this? Like... continue with the revamp chapters?
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I actually commented on this on fanfiction.net, but I did that before looking at the first chapter of the original story. Your writing style and grammar have improved remarkably. I wasn't too impressed with the original, but I'm taken in by the revamp. I hope you continue writing it. (:
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dude! i was tearing up through the whole thing! I think imm a cry 
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Oh I like this!
But my English is sort of bad so I might not understand all of it.
Good work anyhow.
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How could this have been a joke, it's incredible.
(Made me cry in the beginning too. CURSE YOU, AMAZING WRITERS.)
I want this to be in a book. It deserves to be a book in many ways. <3
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Thank you so much!
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Wow, comparing the two and seeing the differences, this Revamp ver. is a major improvement to the old one. Hope to see more on your Revamp. That is, if you can make time for it anyways.
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Sooooo, I should just jump straight to AtA, then, or is Chapter 2 up already?
It's been a year...*trots off*
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Lauren said it all in her comment on AtA 1... but I just can't even believe you did this. THIS comment on the chapter we asked you to read, and ripping me a new one on a chapter that I know is unedited, that was written two years ago, and that you have absolutely no ability to understand without having read the first story through - as though that's my weakness as a writer instead of you skipping an entire story and reading something two years old and telling me what's "wrong" with it. As though I haven't made improvements myself in the last two years. Maybe you don't think I have and that's why you left no comment here. I don't even know. It's just so unfair... you called yourself my friend last night... I've been sitting here for over half an hour now and I still don't even know what to say.
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I'm being critical.
Actually, in all honesty, I had a horrified feeling of dread as soon as Lauren warned me not to read on. I was like, "Um...something just became clear...uh-oh."
I'm FULLY willing to keep going, though. I've done this before with multiple sources, and it holds up pretty darn well. Like I said with the "traitor" line...that's a trigger. It's a bang with a gun. It's me going, "Oh, now I'm interested."
And I completely forgot to mention that I Wikiied Elice and manakete and was able to keep up really well. I moved along. Click, click, click. One after another.
This is how I criticize writing. It's my policy, and it doesn't change. I read, I rip apart, and if something is particularly good, I'll make note of it. If it's "decent" or even "good," I'll usually pass on without comment--but if someone else criticizes something that I found as good, I'll defend that. It's how it goes in the workshop.
If you've fixed up on most of these things in the past two years (THAT old???), then you should have no reason to listen to the criticisms. 
Do you want me to stay quiet on the things that bug me? Because trust me, I think that if I do, when I re-read later on, those bits will still bug me.
Did I forget to mention that I enjoyed reading this far more than I thought I would? I think I did. Did I mention that this is good fanfiction? I don't think I did. I mention it now.
Code Geass, Shannara, some of Star Wars, Teen Titans, Beast Wars...I've had a lot of "sequel starters"...where I read the sequel and then go back to the original.
Do I have permission to keep reading the sequel and see how it holds up, and then continue to read the revamp, or do you want me to read the version that I keep being told not to read?
Bottom line of my criticism side: I will take your writing, chew it up, spit it out, and tell you what was wrong with it, but that's the only way that I've ever been able to improve my own writing, and that's what I apply to every other writing. Don't expect my critic to be friendly. That's for the rest of the day. It's nothing personal. It's how I work. You want to see me go to town on the seventh Harry Potter book? I'll do it. The first six...no real criticisms. Seven? Plenty.
*grins*
You know how I didn't leave that much of a criticism on the first chapter of TCE? It's because I didn't have much to say. You did a good job with that chunk.
My analysis was unfair, though, in parts. I admit that, I understand that. The kick-off for this story was so dynamically different from the chapter I'd read previously that I assumed the two were like night and day. Completely separate. But I guess Elice shows up in TCE? And we learn about her there?
My mistake, if so.
But you have to tell me now:
Do I Star-Wars-Original-Trilogy this thing and read AtA first, or do I read the version of TCE that I've inferred you don't WANT me to read?
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Rule number one - it's nice to remember to say nice things you think instead of shoving rudeness down my throat and expecting me to take it with a smile.
Yes, Elice is in TCE and that is where we get the base knowledge that give ANY of this chapter any meaning at all.
... Life is not a workshop, and neither are friendships. And people have feelings that go beyond the page. I didn't ask you to read this to get advice or editing tips. I wasn't ASKING for a critic, I was asking for a friend to read something important - one of the most important undertakings I've ever done in my life.
I have an editor, and I have improved over the last two years. I'm not perfect - no one is. I still have room to grow but no, I do not wish to hear your edits on something I am planning on going back and reworking myself when I have the chance. I want a reader, not an editor. I understand looking at other peoples' work to get ideas about how to improve your own, but you can do that without throwing mistakes in my face that I made two years ago and already have fixed in my writing.
It's up to you if you want to keep rereading AtA WITHOUT editing it in your comments, that's fine. But no, I don't want you as a reader/editor, and I will not be going back to look at such "edits" when I rework the beginning of this story to fit later standards. If I happen to leave something in that I like that "bugs" you, one reader, I honestly don't care.
That's the bottom line. You can read AtA and wait until chp 7 when Lauren became my editor and some of these novice mistakes begin to disappear and watch as the quality goes up through the chapters (on which I STILL do not want detailed critiques on my writing style, etc....).
Or, you can wait as the revamp slowly comes out, but judging by this, save us both the trouble and do not EVER read the original version of TCE. I say that because I KNOW what I have done to improve and have learned from Lauren's editing, my own experience, and the past three years as an English writing major what I did wrong when I started writing this four years ago. But no, any advice, chewing up or spitting out of my writing, ESPECIALLY old writing is not helpful, wanted or appreciated.
I welcome small grammar mistake, spelling error checks from readers (without horrified emoticons and demeaning capitalized moaning attached) because I am NOT perfect and sometimes mistakes fall through the cracks. Especially when I'm writing for an audience and publishing chapter by chapter. You're seeing a work in progress and judging me by the first draft. How fair is that?
Judging my prose writing, my narrative, my character development, ANY of it, on an old-draft first chapter, it's just cruelty - ESPECIALLY with you knowing you're coming in on the second act. You are the one behind in the story - that is not a sign of weakness in my writing (which I've said before, I am fully aware of the weaknesses, every one of which you pointed out has been vastly approved over the last 60 chapters).
It feels like you went in an plugged in the holes of everything you wanted to find wrong with my writing and this story - which I wouldn't have even thought of if you hadn't brought up your self-proclaimed non-comparison comparison between me and "Twilight". I would die before I would write a Bella or an Edward, my love for the series not-withstanding. Or, as Lauren said when I commented that to her, "Or, with you writing them they would end up developing into round characters."
You've read one chapter... no one knows the full breadth and depth of a character in one chapter. That's like asking to know everything about a person after one conversation. It doesn't work like that. I have some that take dozens of chapters before you "get" them - because characters aren't THERE - they unfold as the story does.
You told me your critic isn't friendly, well, maybe my responder isn't either - just giving it to you straight.
I'm not putting this up on DA as a writing exercise to be shaped and molded by other people. If you would like to read and DISCUSS - ask Lauren, DISCUSSION on a chapter is our favorite thing in the world. Talking about character development, themes, theories, plotlines, ALL that - instead of chewing up and spitting out - be my guest. Those things usually take a while. You seem to like to compare things - there wasn't much to discuss after the first episode of Avatar - even the first few. You have to wait until the plot it set up and the characters are fleshing out - which they will. Low confidence that I have in almost everything that I do, one thing I will take pride in is my characters - but only to people who give them a chance and don't come in with unbendable prejudices and misconceptions that refuse to touched.
If you can't see why I would feel that way or want that - or why THIS comment was upsetting (I guess that absolutely no comment on Revamp chp 1 meant it got a check mark and nothing else), then I don't know what to say.
Hopefully this is clear... *sigh*
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Oh, I've been talking with Lauren, believe me, the woman's given me a chewing-out like none other. Besides you. Actually, I've had worse chew-outs, but that's not important right now!!!
What IS important is that if that chapter of AtA was one that was unedited, that is seriously impressive. If Lauren wasn't editing then, if that was a rough copy, that was really something. Even if she was, that was something.
If every error that I pointed out has indeed been vastly improved over the 60 chapters, then I should let you know that I wasted my time writing the comment that sparked all of this. Wasted breath and time, and that's a bad thing on my part. You didn't waste anything, I wasted my own time and your time. Or so I would assume. If you've improved--congratulations. I look forward to the improvements.
Again, though...what you wrote did not strike me as several-years-old-and-in-need-of-improvement...it struck me as recent-and-fully-fledged-with-a-few-things-slipping-through-the-cracks, and that was how I judged it. But I find out that what I read was, in fact, several-years-old-and-in-need-of-improvement, and, well...yeah. Though that might be an invalid description. It's more of several-years-old-and-the-mark-of-a-progressing-writer.
Whatever the case, I judged that chapter as I would something that you had written three days ago. That's the level I placed you at. If you take that as an insult, then I look forward to reading what you really did write three days ago, because improvement is not going to be easy.
"Revamp Chapter One" did, indeed, get a check mark. I didn't feel criticism necessary, as it was more limited in its structure (basing itself largely on the end of Ocarina) and all-in-all shorter and of higher quality. I could have been nitpicky, but nothing really bugged me about it. There was nothing that I could think of for you to improve with it.
Or, as Lauren said when I commented that to her, "Or, with you writing them they would end up developing into round characters."
I believe her.
....you do, of course, also realize that I was criticizing you on your treatment and development of video-game characters? Most of whom I knew very little about? If anything? You already did give flat characters rounding.
Now get that second chapter finished, girl!
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P.S. FAITH IN NATE RESTORED 8O
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To confirm: yes, AtA 1 was written before she even met me. I didn't join in till AtA ch 7. This was all just written and posted without an editor, on her own two years ago. Believe me...progress since this time? ASTRONOMICAL.
I think as far as Revamp One...what sucks is, why does something good only get a check mark? Why can't it have, "wow this is what I was thinking as I read it, this is what I liked"? Talking about how she interpreted things, how that met/differed from expectations, things like that...you know, DISCUSSION, not just "I approve."
Meanwhile, this comment kinda made me cry happy and I dunno why...that it would strike you as current-quality with things slipping through the cracks, I dunno - but just you WAIT till current AtA. Oh gosh @_@ if you thought THIS was current quality...you haz no idea what's in store.
My recommendation: despite everything, read through old TCE and just know what you're heading towards - but also, TCE in its own right has surprising depth and amazingness...tune into that. Read it, most people start then get hooked and finish in a couple days (once I got past spending a few weeks slowly getting through the early chapters, I got hooked ended up reading the whole rest of the thing in one night). Then start AtA again. You will not be disappointed - and despite the earlier quality of TCE, it IS powerful, AS IS. More so as she got rolling. But I'm rereading now for the third time (I'm to about ch 11, which was before the point I originally got hooked, but was still an interested reader by then), and man. It is. Read it and read AtA. GO NOW 8O!!!
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....but you two always knew each other....
And YES, I DID read the whole comment! Don't go after me again for that!
As to why something just got a check mark, it was my first look. I had no comparison points. Bits that I disagreed with, I wasn't about to argue. I was still acquiring the taste.
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Go after you again for that? o.o; I don't recall having done so...
no XD I met her two years ago, after she'd already started AtA.
Point taken.
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Don't try to jump into AtA, it won't make sense and will (obviously) spoil TCE. Wait for her to finish writing Revamp ch. 2.
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Sorry all this is getting tied up in such an emotional thing, I'm sure it's having a negative impact on your desire to read @.@ but I felt like it would be better to say all that stuff now rather than have each unedited / old chapter end up with another comment like the AtA ch. 1, and had the same effect, without you knowing, you know? No fun hearing when something you say hurts someone's feelings, especially when you didn't mean it and ultimately said "liked it and will keep reading
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Oh, no, my desire to read is STOKED.
I just want to know which one to read.
Bare-bones TCE or progressing AtA?
I'd prefer AtA, but I might need a dramatis personae.
You understand that I have minimal Fire Emblem knowledge, too, so this is...yeah. It's fun stuff.
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This story is based on the premise that readers do not know FE. I do not know FE, but the story set me up perfectly to understand everything in it. But for GOODNESS SAKES if you're going to read TCE, as a friend, you will NOT comment on it the way you did on AtA 1. Read TCE, there's so much complexity of character...reading AtA first is like watching season 3 and knowing nothing about Zuko before that. Sure it works. But if you want the best emotional involvement and understanding of the story? START AT THE BEGINNING and know them as they go. Crossroads of Destiny could NOT have been the same if you already knew what Zuko would choose.
But if you go back and read TCE OLD, you really, really, really, really must NOT comment on grammar and what she does wrong. It's hard enough for her to even think about TCE without cringing, and someone who's already hurt her by that pointing every little thing out will seriously damage friendship more...I'm glad you're stoked, and I know "this is just how you work," but if you could prioritize friend before habit, then read TCE for the story and comment on your reactions, not your criticisms. If you need to write those kinds of critiques to help your own writing by identifying what you odn't like in others', DON'T share it.
But yes, if your'e gonna read, read TCE is my unequivocal answer.
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*snickers*
I'm not THAT stupid, girl.
One of the reasons I was so critical on AtA was because it was higher-quality than the trash one usually reads online. It had a more-developed feel to it. I could read it and keep reading, not cringe and come up gasping for air.
I get a bit more of that in the TCE one, but because I'm aware of the faults throughout, I can stay under for longer. "She'll fix this." "That'll be dealt with." "Well, that's different. So it's probably gone."
Etc.
I'm critical, not cruel.
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*snickers*
I'm not THAT stupid, girl.
I haz no idea what you're referring to @.@
uh..."TCE one" meaning the revamped or the old?
Yeah, I understand that - you gotta keep in mind, I come from the POV of BEING a critiquer/editor...I know how it works. If it's crap you don't comment. But being Chrissy's best friend, too, I have that unique POV going on here.
TCE Revamp will be amazing. TCE, the amazingness shines through even to a grammar nerd/Nazi like me.
I dunno what we're talkingabout anymore but okays @.@
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Oh, I meant "letting loose on the old TCE like I did AtA". I'm not stupid enough to do that. XD Not after these discussions. And the fact that I KNOW that it's semi-obsolete work is another thing.
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That's the mentality of reading it.
And I love it for that.
For redundancy's sake, I only criticized AtA like that because I didn't think it was anything close to a first draft. XD
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It might even be wisest to not comment on TCE at all ... er, I don't even know, but she definitely does not agree with me and doesn't want you to read old TCE, judging by your AtA ch 1 reaction.
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I'm commenting.
But normally.
And if I see something that should stay, I'll note that. That's how I read the BAD works. I see what works and say, "keep this, lose everything else" or "change what you want, but THIS stays."
Now quit delaying me!
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ok, old TCE you can tell me what you like but PLEASE don't tell me what needs to go @.@ the list would be extensive, excruciating and a waste of your time >.>
*is terrified* o.@
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OKAY XD~~~
But also know, if you suggest what you think shoudl stay, we'll disregard you and do what Chrissy thinks. =3
GO READ!
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I'm so confused @.@ right here you sound upset about what happened but everywhere else you write you still sound ... I dun' even know @.@ but yeah =O heh @_@
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I don't apologize for criticism. Not unless I'm definitively proven wrong.
But I do apologize for believing that it was refined work and that it was open for that level of criticism.
Long story short, two days ago I had a story reviewed that I legitimately wanted help with for improvement, and I didn't feel like anyone got to that. It's happened before, too. And it's incredibly frustrating.
When people criticize my work, I want them to punch me in the face.
I launched into the criticism foolishly thinking that it was a universal policy...leh sigh....
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Okay, one thing: Chrissy is not looking for criticism on AtA, because basically every kind of real criticism that comes up anymore is just someone with a different style who tried to tell her her style was wrong, which is ridiculous...style is style. No one's writing is perfect, but dang, when you're dealing with what she's AT now? Other than "I don't like this scene/arc/focus I don't think it's an important focus" - which we, knowing the story, would of course disagree with you on - I can't think of much serious else you would HAVE to criticize. But anyone can pull up bull...this one dude is always trying to tell her she has to write things as tightly as John Steinbeck and in his or else she's not good. LAME.
Not to claim she's above critique - I mean, I'm her editor. But, really...most people who try to critique don't actually find anything legitimate.
Yes, I know how it is, I know how it is to want real critiques and not get it. But that's not what Chrissy posts for, critique - she has me now, and of course hearing opinions is great and all but mostly? Chrissy knows what she wants and does it, and critiques outside of her editor's are kind of superfluous at this point. Of course, this might all sound really silly, not knowing what "at this point" is. But basically, since working with her on TCE/AtA, it's hard for me to find any free reading satisfactory except like, literature...which doesn't have the "real" and immediately accessible feel that AtA does. Only AtA and, maybe a few other series that I've read, combine the literary and character depth (or, almost Chrissy's characters' depth) with that accessibility and realness. It's really, I'm very well-read, and I can't think of anything, ever, movie, book anime, comic, manga...that's better than AtA.
Not that you'll have to agree with that, when you read it, but you know when it leaves an extensive reader unsatisfied with everything else, it's something different from what people run into in other places.
So yeah - basically...off-topic? I dunno, but when working with something like that, critiques are generally superfluous because the main things you'd be able to critique are personal style choices and plot choices - all of which are up to Chrissy and won't be changed for a single reader's opinion.
I'm talking AtA as is at this point, though, not two year old stuff. Uh, *end ramble*
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The story. In the Author's notes, she said this whole thing started off as a joke. The whole story is the coolest joke ever. Sorry that I confused you.
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No problem. It's not your fault.
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Not for a long time...you may want to just read the old one! =O
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O= you said not to in the comments but ok! xD
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Yeah...just because things are taking so long
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