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Captain-Speck — The Last Destiny: A New Apprentice- Page 1

Published: 2012-07-30 17:34:11 +0000 UTC; Views: 1173; Favourites: 32; Downloads: 23
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Description so this page is not the best page ever becuase i draw this really quick.

Cover Page: [link]
Next page:[link]

so I skiped the proaluge and instead wrote it out- sorry it its hard to understand I'm not the greatest writer- and PLEASE try and ignore the spelling errors like non capitalized names and stuff



“Touch your nose to the pool” whispered a gray tabby tom to another cat. The other cat twitched his ear and looked at the pool. He shifted his paws and looked in to the gray cat’s blind stare. He carefully placed his paws at the edge of the pool and looked down at it. The stars reflected off of it amazing the brown tabby tom. The gray cat twitched his tail annoyed. “Brambleclaw are you alright” the gray tom asked coldly. Brambleclaw looked at him.
“Yes I’m fine Jayfeather. Just nervous” he mewed softly. Jayfeather sighed and took a step towards Brambleclaw.
“I can understand why your nervous but you are going to be fine” jayfeather mewed as Brambelclaw touched his nose to the cool pool. Brambelclaw let his would grow cold and spin around him. Brambleclaw opened his eyes to a wide open field. An old aged cat walked up to Brambleclaw. His orange pelt almost glowed in the night. The cats green eyes stared at Brambelclaw.
“Welcome Brambleclaw” he mewed. Bowing his head in respect.
“Firestar?” brambleclaw asked . Firestar ignored the question
“Are you ready for your 9 lives?” asked firestar. Brambleclaw nodded his head. A pretty gray tabby she cat stepped forward.
“feathertail?” brambleclaw mewed surprised “It’s so good to see you” feathertail smiled
“it’s good to see you to brambleclaw” she mewed happily “With this life, I give you devotion. Use it to devote yourself to your Clan whenever they need it. "The she cat touched her nose to brambelclaws forehead. A shiver ran through his body as he opened his eyes. Feathertail bowed her head then turned at left brambelclaw. Fethertail stopped next to 7 other cats. Firestar still stood next to brambleclaw. A fading gray blue she cat step forward.
“Hello brambleclaw” she said “it’s me bluestar the old leader of thunderclan. I have come to give you a life. One you will need every day to help your clan. With this life, I give you courage. Use it wisely.” Bluestar touched her nose to his forehead and steped away towards the other cats without letting brambleclaw say anything. A black she cat stepped forward towards brambleclaw.
“hollyleaf!” brambleclaw mewed like an excited kit. “Hollyleaf I’m so sorry you died fighting hawkfrost.” Hollyleaf blinked and flicked her tail.
“It’s ok brambleclaw” she mewed “it was my time to go. With this life I give you strength. Use it to defend your clan when you need it the most.” Hollyleaf touched her nose to brambleclaw. “you will always be my father” hollyleaf whispered. She steped back to the other cats.
“Mother” brambleclaw cried happily as goldenflower stepped forward. “I have missed you so much.” He mewed licking her cheek as she got closer.
“brambleclaw there is no need to miss me. I am always with you.” Goldenflower said “With this life I give you protection. Use it to protect your Clanmates like a queen protects her kits.” She mewed touching her nose to his head. She then took a step back and sat next to the other cats. Ashfur stepped forward.
“brambleclaw” ashfur said “with this life I give you love. Use it to love every cat in the clan.” Ashfur touched his nose to brambleclaws forehead. “When I said every cat that includes squirrelflight. She only did what she did to protect leafpool. You should find it in your heart to forgive her.” Ashfur turned and left brambleclaw. An old brown she cat steped forward.
“mousefur!” brambleclaw said
“Hush young one” she mewed “with this life I give you tireless energy. Use it to make your clan strong” she touched her nose to his head and steped back. An orange tabby tom stepped forward.
“flametail is that you?” brambleclaw asked
“Yes it is.” He answered “with this life I give you loyalty. Use it to encourage your clan in battle.” He touched his nose to brambleclaws head and stepped back. Brambleclaw weighted patently for the last cat.
“firestar, are you going to give me my last life?” brambleclaw asked. Firestar nodded his head.
“with this last and final life I give you nobility. Use it to be nobile and kind to all cats. Use all your lives with wisdom.” Firestar touched his nose to brambleclaws head. “I have a prophecy for you before you go, Eight will become one to save the clans. you are now the new leader of thunderclan, Bramblestar.”

THE END
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Comments: 14

Acacion [2012-08-01 10:56:22 +0000 UTC]

This looks interesting, but you could do with checking for spelling errors and improving your grammar in some places, especially giving cats' names capitals.

Also, you say that cats like Firestar and Mousefur are old aged, but once they go to StarClan, they are restored their youth and strength, so wouldn't actually be old anymore. And people have already pointed out about Goldenflower.

Interested in reading the next chapter

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Captain-Speck In reply to Acacion [2012-08-01 15:01:44 +0000 UTC]

thanks for all the info but this isn't a chapter series it's a comic- I just wrote out the prologue because i didn't feel like drawing it all out

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axelisthebestadmitit [2012-08-01 08:34:18 +0000 UTC]

nice buts is goldenflower

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Captain-Speck In reply to axelisthebestadmitit [2012-08-01 14:58:04 +0000 UTC]

i know I wrote the wrong thing

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axelisthebestadmitit In reply to Captain-Speck [2012-08-01 15:32:47 +0000 UTC]

^^

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BluElixir [2012-08-01 03:30:40 +0000 UTC]

Great job, but Brambleclaw's mother's name is Goldenflower.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Captain-Speck In reply to BluElixir [2012-08-01 14:57:48 +0000 UTC]

i know I wrote the wrong thing

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

BluElixir In reply to Captain-Speck [2012-08-02 01:01:43 +0000 UTC]

Oh, okay.

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PenguinEatsCarrots [2012-08-01 03:23:29 +0000 UTC]

i love the story with this~!!! just one problem: Brambleclaw's mother was Goldenflower not Goldenheart ^^'

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Captain-Speck In reply to PenguinEatsCarrots [2012-08-01 14:53:31 +0000 UTC]

i know my warrior oc is goldenheart and I wrote that down on accident- I'm going to change it now

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PenguinEatsCarrots In reply to Captain-Speck [2012-08-01 16:57:27 +0000 UTC]

oh ^^ ok

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MissAbbeline [2012-07-30 18:00:22 +0000 UTC]

Awesome, can't wait for more!!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Captain-Speck In reply to MissAbbeline [2012-07-30 18:03:10 +0000 UTC]

XD the next page will be posted tonight hopefully

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

MissAbbeline In reply to Captain-Speck [2012-07-30 18:16:12 +0000 UTC]

Yay!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0