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celticknotgirl — Memories to Heal the Broken 2
Published: 2012-05-30 18:52:49 +0000 UTC; Views: 5499; Favourites: 49; Downloads: 30
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Description I apologize for the back and forth nature of this.  I had no idea what I was getting into when doing a look back at ME1 from the end of ME3 through the exestential awesomeness of a meld.  


Bioware owns these characters and Mass Effect


SSV Nightingale:

Captain Reynolds, commanding officer of the SSV Nightingale, was having the worst day of his life.  The war was over and that meant that for most of the Alliance the worst part was over.  But for the medical professionals from every race in the galaxy that ran the forty seven hospital ships of Task Force Haven, the truly horrific work started now.  Caring for the wounded, disfigured and dying was a thankless job that would continue for the next several decades.

He was ready for that, trained for it and planned on it.  What he did not expect was the parade of VIPs trying to get access to his med-bays.  Access to Shepard.  He was even given a lengthy list of people who had priority access to Shepard.  A list penned by none other than Admiral Hackett himself.  Worse, most were non-alliance and he didn't like that at all.  

Shuttles skimmed around his ship like a swarm of gnats around a porch light on a hot southern night.  Already there had been two collisions, one threatening a med-evac.  The space around his ship was already too dangerous to fly in and then he gets this idiotic report.

"Admiral Hackett," he called to the august gentleman walking toward the ICU.

Hackett turned and met the captain half way.  "Captain, I appreciate you breaking station and moving to the Citadel debris field on short notice."  He stated gruffly.  "We may have lost her otherwise."

"I'm glad she is still alive, Admiral, but we have other patients to tend to also. And now I have no fewer than eight dreadnaughts from various races surrounding my ship! Dreadnaughts!"  The captain threw up his hands in exasperation.  "We can't work like this!"

Hackett drew himself up and fixed Reynolds with an understanding, but 'I'm saying this only once' kind of stare.  "Captain, those races are showing their support for the person who delivered them from the jaws of death, the brink of extinction.  They are united because of her and right now doing something in unison without Shepard telling them to.  It's a damn miracle.  I'm not pushing them away and neither are you.  For her, for the fleet and for peace, I'm going to tell you I understand your problem, and I sympathize, but suck it up, Captain.  I give you authority to manage the space around your ship for three k.  But the dreadnaughts stay and the people on the list I gave you have authority for docking to see Shepard.  Priority only behind the wounded and anything for their care."

'''''

SSV Nightingale ICU:

"Ah, Lola."  James Vega whispered sadly as he gazed through the ICU window while Commander Sarah Shepard struggled to hold on to life.  "Damn it, I can't lose you too. Not like Cap'n Tony."  He felt Javik come up beside him and turned to the Prothean.  "Hey, Buggy.  How ya holdin' up?"

The two warriors fought with Shepard on the way to the Citadel Beam and James came to respect the ancient Soldier's abilities.  They faced death together with the Commander and that meant something to the young Marine.  Those kind of things create bonds most people don't understand.

They were within a heartbeat of dying down there, but Shepard used a throw to send him and Javik flying out of the path of the last blast from Harbinger.  The same blast that nearly incinerated Shepard.  The throw was so powerful, neither one came to for over an hour.  By then, the war was over.

"The Commander taught me much about your cycle, and your people."  Javik said from beside him.  "I know the importance and value she placed on every individual life.  It was not like that in my cycle.  All were expected to serve and gladly give their lives to the greater glory of the empire."  

James glanced at him with more than a little annoyance.  "Glad we aren't like you guys.  Sounds loco to me."

Javik looked away from James and back to the grim scene in the ICU.  "I now believe we were wrong.  The Commander once told me that having ones to care about creates your resolve to fight against impossible odds.  A mission or vengeance was not enough for her.  She fought for these people here.  Especially for the Asari."  He paused and glanced around the waiting room.

Ashley was leaning against a bulkhead looking out a portal at the assembling fleet.  She would talk to no-one, but every half minute or so, she would glance over at the ICU and even Javik could see her face crumble with worry before she turned away again.

Wrex paced up and down the length of the room glaring at everyone and everything in it as if it was their fault Shepard was hurt.  Any Asari coming into the area was challenged by him and only able to pass after he was satisfied she had nothing to do with Matriarch Orana.  He posted Grunt at the entrance of Shepard's room just in case one got by him.

Garrus and Tali stayed by the ICU window also.  They were some of Shepard's oldest friends.  They stood with her from the beginning of it all they said.  Javik respected them both immensely, especially the young Quarian.  She had resolve.

He thought of the dreadnaughts taking up station around this vessel in an unnecessary, yet profound show of support for the Commander.  Futility or something more?  They provide strength to others who mean something to them.  It creates unity.  That is the true power of the races of this cycle he had come to realize.

He turned from them and gazed back into the ICU where Liara stood in her trance by the commander.  He could tell that the Asari was stretching her abilities to their utmost in her effort to save her bond-mate.  

He could see also the intensity of the doctors working to repair the Commander's face, manipulate the myriad of probes and machines that never ceased operating on her devastated body within the gel.  Many had not sat down for over nine hours now.  His gaze settled on the seared face of Sarah Shepard as a doctor scraped away a layer of charred, dead skin.  He saw Shepard twitch and writhe in pain as it happened.  He did not like it, and it surprised him that it moved him so.

"Her beliefs are alien to me and I thought they made her and your entire race weak.  The war is over, the Reapers defeated, the cycle ended.  In my time that is all that would matter.  As the cycle's exemplar, the avatar of war and vengeance, there would be no shame to let her die because she had served her purpose well."  He felt the big human glare at him, sensed the tensing in his demeanor and the tightening of his fists.  Even the Quarian turned his way and he sensed the anger and outrage his words caused in her.

Before either could say anything, he held up a hand and continued on without looking away from the Commander.  "This is wrong also.  All of these people would gladly give their lives for the Commander," he smiled slightly, "as would I.  This is the true strength of your people and why you succeeded where my people failed.  She is more than the avatar of vengeance, she is also the exemplar of hope for your people.  I now believe that she deserves to live and find further purpose of her own beyond ending the cycle.  She taught me that.  She showed me what it is to be…human."

James snorted and turned back to the glass.  "You go a long way round the block to just say the Commander had it right all along, Buggy.  You know, before we left Earth, she was on trial and something she said really stuck with me.  Taught me to never give up."  His eyes lost focus as he recalled the scene in the courtroom.  "She was testifying about blowing up a relay.  At the end she was confronted by a projection of a Reaper.  They said she only delayed the inevitable and that they were gonna squash us anyway, or something like that.  So she told them that we would fight to the last anyway and find a way to win.  They said she would lose everything and she said, 'Yeah, well, I will die standing on my feet, not groveling on my knees.  I will die with my head held high, not bowed in submission'."  He rolled his shoulders and thought about it again.  "Those words stuck with me.  Changed me some.  Gave me the will to keep fighting my own demons, y'know?"

Javik nodded once.  "Yes.  It seems the Commander has a way of changing people.  Apparently for the better.  A trait I wish I possessed myself."

"Yeah, Lola's like that, no?"

They looked back into the ICU as Shepard's vitals crashed for the third time and the medical team worked feverishly to revive her again. Within twenty seconds her heart was beating on its own again and the team returned to treating her other wounds with transplants, cybernetics and bone grafting.

Through it all, Liara T'Soni stood resolutely by the translucent vat of gel that held the ruined body of her bond-mate.  Her meld stayed true and never faltered, bringing some comfort and easing the stress on Sarah's battered body and soul.

Liara's meld with Sarah was unlike anything she had ever experienced.  They were so deeply in love and the underlying currents of passion they shared for each other were so profound that time and space had no meaning for them.  She could barely feel the physical torment her love was in because the amazing woman had sealed that part of herself off to protect Liara from it.  Only the memories remained her, good and bad, but none of the real world.  

She floated along with her love through the turmoil, being pulled into one memory after another.

'''''

Normandy SR1:

Shepard strode through the corridors of her ship thinking only of the captivating Asari woman.  The openness in those amazing eyes, the way she moved and the naïve and slightly uncomfortable way she spoke danced through the young Commander's mind continually.  This was all new to Sarah.  She had never been drawn to anyone like this before.  It confounded and excited her in ways she had never known.  

Finding the archaeologist in the back room of the med-bay, she desperately tried to think of something to talk about.  Fumbling for words, and new subjects just to hear that soft voice and be with the amazing woman a little longer.

While Liara told her of the Asari culture, Sarah imagined caressing the woman's cheek with her fingertips, feeling her hand in her own and her breath on her skin.  As distracting as all that was, she still took in and cherished every word uttered from those soft lips.

Suddenly, Liara felt the vision of the memory suddenly fade, shifting and twisting sickly and Liara felt Shepard slipping away from her.  Fading away as daylight gives way to night.  Liara instinctively wrapped herself around the essence of Sarah and clung to her with all the might of her will and a desperation that bordered on frantic hysteria.

She felt them both falling away, being pulled into an enormous darkness as their world shimmered and collapsed around them.  In desperation, Liara lashed out and found purchase in another of Sarah's memories.  She used all her strength to hold on to it like an anchor and her keep her grasp on what there was of her love, slowly dragging them back and encircling herself around Sarah's exhausted spirit.

'''''

In the ICU, Dr. Silon stabilized Shepard again.  As his team nervously went back to their other tasks, the brilliant Salarian started doubting their ability to maintain this pace, and the strength of Shepard to survive the continuing trauma.  He decided he required help and placed a call.

'''''

Within their meld, everything stabilized.  Sarah was again wrapped around her and she found herself in the memory she had instinctively reached out to for purchase:

Liara saw the old Commander's cabin in the SR1 and heard soft crying from the far, dark corner by the bed.  Shepard sat on the floor with her back to the wall and her knees drawn up protectively to her chest as the tears flowed freely down her cheeks and sobs shook her shoulders.  A data-pad next to Sarah showed a picture of Kaiden.  Alone and devastated, she mourned the loss of Alenko.  Just as she mourned the deaths of Jenkins and so many others under her command on Elysium and her family and friends on Mindoir.  'Goddess,' Liara thought as her heart went out to the tortured soul of her bond-mate, 'she had nobody to hold her up.  She was so terribly alone.'

Liara's heart broke, seeing the pain her love had been in after Virmire, knowing that she had been only a few feet away and did nothing to ease her suffering.  Sarah had come to Liara repeatedly after Noveria to support the young Asari after her mother died.  The young human felt the pain she had been in despite the Asari's best efforts to not let it show.  

Looking back, Liara was deeply ashamed she did not return the favor.  Guilt washed over her as she watched the young human grieve, stuck in the loneliness of command, a void of emptiness.  Always supporting others, but with nobody to give that support to her.

Liara suddenly wondered why this wasn't one of those hard, cold, thorny memories.  One of those dark spheres like Mindoir.  Then she saw it.  Shepard reached out to the data-pad and changed the picture to one of Liara.  Her breathing eased and her body relaxed as she slowly caressed the picture with her fingertips and a small smile came to her lips.  "I love you."  Sarah whispered softly to the picture.  "I barely know you, but I love you with all my heart.  You make this…bearable."

'''''

SSV Nightingale ICU:

The emotions that swelled within Liara's consciousness nearly overwhelmed her.  She felt her love crest and flow with Sarah's as their beings continued to interweave within their meld.  In the ICU, a smile came to her lips and tears rolled down her face, creating confusion and concern to some of those watching.

"Those are tears of joy, Vakarian."  Tali said as she watched her friends suffer and endure.

Garrus' mandibles twitched ferociously.  "How can there be any joy with all that pain?  Damn it, look at Shepard!  She must be in agony!"

Tali shook her head.  She was amazed at how stupid men were sometimes.  "There is joy because they are together.  Can't you see that is all that matters to them?"  She sighed and leaned forward against the glass.  "Even in this terrible situation, with all Sarah's injuries, they have each other and there is nothing but love for them."  She slapped his arm affectionately without looking at him.  "That is why there is still hope, you big, dumb Bosh'tet."

'''''

Liara smiled when she saw the next memory coalesce around her.  Shepard sat at her desk in her quarters on Normandy SR1 waiting to get to Ilos.  Praying to not lose another of her crew, her family.

The door chime rang and Sarah's heart leapt into her throat when Liara walked in.  They spoke of the coming mission as Sarah lost herself in those dancing blue eyes and stumbled with her words, only wanting to hold this incredible person in her own arms.

"There is something I must tell you in case we fail."  Liara says.  Shepard forces that thought away.  Failing would mean Liara could be hurt and she could never face that.  She would rather die than see her in pain.  

Shepard blathers something she hopes is comforting to her, wanting only for her to feel safe.  "Please, I am not looking for comfort."  Shepard feels slightly abashed, but focuses on her eyes, her soft voice.  "These could be our last moments together, our last chance to show each other how we feel.  I want this to be special."

Using her last bit of control, Sarah tried to do what she thought was right.  "We don't have to do this.  Not unless you're sure."  She wanted to kick her own ass for those words, but knew it was necessary.  Knew things had to be right and perfect for this to work.  She would not take a chance of losing Liara because she was anxious or craved some contact before the next battle.  Shepard was hoping for much more than just a one night stand.

Liara looks her in the eye and replies without hesitation.  "I have never been more sure of anything in my life. Will you join with me, Shepard? Let our bodies and minds unite?"

A vast weight lifted from Sarah's shoulders as she realized that the woman she loved actually wanted her also.  Felt the same way, and needed her.  She needed Sarah Shepard, not Commander Shepard.  Just the plain woman behind the mask of command.  Her heart soared, and it was beyond perfect.

Liara remembered that first time with Sarah.  She reveled in the memory of it for years, but now, beyond what she felt in that initial meld, Liara could now sense more.  Knowing Sarah better and having more experience helped her see and feel what she did not back then.  

Sarah was a controlled woman, a person who always held herself in check to ensure she presented the correct presence to those around her.  Her absolute self-discipline enabled her to survive losing her family on Mindoir and served her well throughout an incredible career.  It was necessary, but it did not let the woman within grow.

Now, lying in Liara's arms, feeling the pure ecstasy of each other within the meld and the delicious hyper-sensations of the body as they explored and pleasured each other, Sarah let herself go in a way she could never imagine.  As she finally felt those soft lips on her own and lost herself in the feel of Liara's body next to her own, Sarah set aside her discipline and fear, and she willingly gave herself, surrendered her wholeness to the woman she already knew she loved and cherished.  That single act was the most profound thing that had happened to the Marine in her life since Mindoir.

Through the meld, Liara realized that for the first time Sarah felt unconditionally safe, treasured by the one she adored, loved and free to give all of herself, all her love to Liara.  Above all, she was finally blissfully complete.  Liara's love filling a void that she never knew existed within her own soul.  

In the dark hours before Ilos, as Liara slept peacefully, Sarah rested in those soft arms with her love's delicate breath on her skin and wept in pure joy as she basked in the depths of Liara's love for her.

'''''

ICU:

"Damn it, increase dosage to 300cc and get that signal back from her implants! Move it people, we are not losing her on my watch!" Dr. Silon ordered.

'''''

Again, their world dimmed and tilted.  Liara felt Sarah gasp in shock and suddenly push her away.  Frantically, Liara fought to hold on, to find purchase within her love's mind.  But Sarah was too strong.  With a final, nearly brutal push that felt emotionally frantic and utterly lost in sorrow, Liara felt herself thrown out of Shepard's mind and back to her own body.  Back to her own consciousness.

She opened her eyes and felt the pain in her joints from standing in one place for so long.  Around her, the ICU was in chaos.  Alarms and monitors blared throughout the room and doctors, nurses and orderlies worked frantically around Shepard.  

Dr. Silon shouted orders and new leads were fed into the tank and attached to Shepard's chest.  A moment later, they activated the electrodes and tried to shock the Commander's heart back to life.

Inside the vat, Shepard convulsed and groaned in agony for a moment before falling silent again.  

Again and again they repeated the procedure with the same results.

Through the ICU window she could see all their friends, Shepard's family staring in horror and heartbreak at the scene within.  Tali's face was buried in her palms and Garrus stood with a look of utter shock on his face.  Ashley was weeping openly next to an especially grim Hackett, whose eyes had welled up with barely contained tears.   

Pushed back against a wall, Liara looked on helplessly.  Panic and despair bubbled up within her as she called out Sarah's name over and over again, and dark panic clawed away at the edges of her reality.  She finally grabbed Dr. Chakwas by the arm and begged for an answer, "What is happening?"

Karin Chakwas looked at Liara and the Asari saw the pain and pity in the doctor's eyes.  "All of her implants failed.  They just shut down.  She is dying, Liara.  And there is nothing we can do to stop it.  I'm so sorry!"  Then she was gone, helping the medical team attempt to save her friend.

Liara could only watch and sob as her love started losing her fight for life.
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Comments: 16

Buzzz1 [2012-06-14 14:03:41 +0000 UTC]

*crying*

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

celticknotgirl In reply to Buzzz1 [2012-06-14 21:12:45 +0000 UTC]

Aww, *passes kleenex* It gets better!!! (or does it? mwahaha!)

Thank you for commenting!!!

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lololwot [2012-06-02 00:10:02 +0000 UTC]

and then i hada some feels...

nicely written!

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celticknotgirl In reply to lololwot [2012-06-02 01:40:12 +0000 UTC]

Thank you!

You're very kind!

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Maman-Ourse [2012-05-31 17:36:42 +0000 UTC]

Shepard! T__T
Great job!

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celticknotgirl In reply to Maman-Ourse [2012-05-31 18:52:30 +0000 UTC]

Thank you! More to come!

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liquidfire101 [2012-05-31 00:42:29 +0000 UTC]

Oh man what a cliffhanger! Cannot wait to finish this story. Brilliant work!

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celticknotgirl In reply to liquidfire101 [2012-05-31 02:35:43 +0000 UTC]

Yay! Thank you so much!

I am very glad you liked it!

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Big-Wired [2012-05-30 23:09:06 +0000 UTC]

OKay, first, technically, that was a very good job of bouncing between different times and perspectives. It's hard to handle that kind of thing, but you did it very well.

Secondly... god DAMN IT, you're making me cry here! First that speech from Javik about how right Shepard was and then everyone standing there and watching and just... good lord, why don't you write for Pixar? They're good at making people cry, you're good at making people cry...

If I have one bit of criticism, it's that I would have liked to have seen more mentions about what races were holding station alongside the Nightengale. You did leave it pretty open to interpretation so I'm imagine Rachni, Quarian, Geth, even Bataraian ships just hanging out there, showing what support they can.

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celticknotgirl In reply to Big-Wired [2012-05-30 23:27:24 +0000 UTC]

Thanks! I was very nervous about the bouncing around thing. It seemed so cluttered to me. I'm very glad you enjoyed it.

yay! Made you cry! I teared up everytime I pictured the scene too. Can you imagine how utterly frustrating that would be? I'm glad you liked the Javik part too. He's a pretty cool bug in my head.

You are right, I should have mentioned more about the ships. I started that part as concept and filled it in by going back to it for three days. Never seemed right to me, but I think you have just what it needs! I'll address that in part 3. OOhh, just had a cool idea about that!

Thanks again!!!!

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stacey1981 [2012-05-30 21:51:42 +0000 UTC]

It's an interesting concept to ping-pong between flashbacks and reality, but you handled it deftly. Another enjoyable piece and I'm anxiously awaiting for the third installment!

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celticknotgirl In reply to stacey1981 [2012-05-30 23:28:42 +0000 UTC]

Thanks, that is very nice of you to say! I was very worried about it all, but you and -wired are putting my mind at ease.

Thanks again!

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stacey1981 In reply to celticknotgirl [2012-05-31 03:08:00 +0000 UTC]

My dear, anything you craft is going to be fabulous!

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celticknotgirl In reply to stacey1981 [2012-05-31 03:14:29 +0000 UTC]

You are so sweet!

Thank you so much!

Yay!!

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CrazyGreggy [2012-05-30 19:11:09 +0000 UTC]

Cruel, cruel cliffhanger.

Liara's in Sarah's corner though, I'll continue to hope

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celticknotgirl In reply to CrazyGreggy [2012-05-30 19:12:59 +0000 UTC]

Yay! Gotcha!

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